In Loving Memory of IS, a Twilight Fanfiction
by VampricFaeryGirl
Summary: When I first met Edward Cullen, I had a feeling that I had met him before. I never would have guessed though that I really had, except, I wasn't me. - Mostly Romance and Humor. Timeline: after Eclipse.
1. Chapter 1: Meeting

"I'll be back before you have time to miss me. Look after my heart—I've left it with you." – Eclipse, Stephenie Meyer

* * *

**Preface**

"Bella!" Edward shouted.

I couldn't make my body move. I couldn't open my eyes. It was a lot like the time James bit me. There was the fire in my veins and there was the same heavy, throbbing, burning pain. It was also like when I had almost drowned—my poor attempt at cliff-diving—only, Jacob wasn't here to save me. It was like the drowning incident because I just couldn't fight anymore. My mind couldn't come up with any reasons.

"Bella—Please, Bella!"

Okay, one reason. The reason could be summed up in one word: Cullen. Putting Edward ahead of that reminded me to fight. I had him. I had his family. Charlie wasn't as ever-present, but he was still there. I suppose Jacob was there, other than my intent of becoming a vampire—which seemed impossible as my seconds of life remaining ticked away—turning him away from me as well as his apparent and sudden imprint on some nameless, faceless opponent. I had a reason or two to live, but my mind couldn't rationalize this key factor. Edward was crying for me—tearless sobs and an anguished face—but I was unable to tell him to stop. My voice was gone.

"Bella, don't give up, please," my angel begged. He held me close—ignoring how good my blood smelled as it gushed from my many wounds—and brushed my face as the tears I couldn't control leaked from my eyes. "Bella, please…Carlisle is coming. Wait. Be strong, just until then."

I wanted to remind Edward that he knew a thing or two as well. I remembered—even in the hazed state that my mind was in—that Edward had some degree in medicine. It wasn't as updated as Carlisle, but it was still there. I could tell from the pressure on my leg—gushing with that important red life-substance—that Edward was doing his best. The pressure didn't cease, so I guessed that there was something wrapped around it, slowing the blood loss.

"Edward," Alice whispered—her voice hoarse and strained. He looked at her. Both of them stared, wide-eyed and paler than usual. Alice shook her head sharply, looking as close to ungraceful that a vampire could ever possibly be. I could only guess that she'd had a vision, possibly seeing my death. Edward shouted something at her, turned back to me—saying something softer to me—but I couldn't hear. All noises faded, faces blurred, becoming a backdrop the increasing blackness.

"Bella, please," my angel begged again.

I couldn't see anymore. I couldn't hear anymore. I certainly couldn't breathe anymore. I was afraid…Terribly and totally afraid. It didn't matter if I was going to heaven or hell or nowhere at all. I wouldn't be anywhere or anything without Edward. I felt something warm. It streaked on some part of by body—if I still had a body—which I assumed was my cheek or somewhere close to there. Something cold touched that same streaked spot.

I promised myself, right then and there, that I would come back to him. It would take a miracle, but I would. I couldn't allow him to suffer, to cry. I wouldn't allow myself to feel the pain of leaving him. I used the last of my voice, coughing out something hot and sticky before I did so.

"Promise me," I croaked through gasps for air. "Promise, no Volturi, Edward. Stay alive." I heard a velvety sound, possibly saying my name. "Edward, please. Stay alive, for me. Please," I begged. "Stay for me."

Too short words were muttered and the cold touched my cheek. I tried to smile, but I lost feeling at that point. There was total darkness surrounding me. And somewhere far off, I thought I saw what looked like...a baby.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Meeting  
**  
"So sorry for your loss."

"Thanks for coming."

"I wish I would have known...I wish..."

"It's alright to cry, Mrs. Newton."

"But—I know it's silly—but I gave a hard time about late assignments," Mrs. Newton, the school's biology teacher, sobbed. She held a handkerchief to her nose, blew hard, the sound resembling a sour trumpet. Her nose was red and her eyes had small puffs from a few sleepless nights. She had premature gray hair—from sixteen years of stress because of teaching noisy school-kids—which was thrown into a messed bun at the back of her head. Her body was thinner, and her face was wrinkle-free. The black clothes she wore were plain—a long skirt and blouse. "I shouldn't have been so hard. I had no idea what was going on."

"It's alright, Mrs. Newton," I assured her again. "I'm sure that she didn't hold it against you. It wasn't your fault."

"But still," she blabbed needlessly, her tears blurring her vision so that she had to wipe her eyes with her snot-filled white cloth again. "I had no idea how troubled she was! I think moving here was the problem."

"No, it wasn't," I corrected. "Isabella loved it here."

"It's probably a curse," Mr. Newton—the school's physics teacher—muttered. "She was named after Isabella Swan, right?"

"Yes," I recalled. "She was our mother's daughter. Our half-sister. We never knew her though. She died nine or so months before I was born."

"Renee was the connection, right?" Mrs. Newton asked.

"Yes, she was my mother, Isabella Swan's mother, and my sister's mother."

"Chief Swan was heartbroken was she died," Mrs. Newton cried. "I was a friend of hers, back in high school."—she grinned through her tears—"We fought over the same guy for a while."

By the way she looked at her husband, I could tell who won that 'same guy'. I could also guess who that guy was. I thought about asking, just to be courteous, but I wasn't in the mood. Losing your sister does that to you.

"Mike, whatever happened to the Cullens?" Mrs. Newton asked. "They moved, right? Not that I blame them. Bella was going to marry Edward, but…but…" And then she burst into more sobs.

"We're sorry for your loss," Mr. Newton repeated, and then towed his wife away. I heard him mumble "I blame Edward for it—He was bad for her," before fading from view.

Normally, I would have been curious, but again, I wasn't in the mood.

I browsed through the house, the one I had barely begun to call a home. I had lived in Forks for less than a year, and already tragedy had struck. Forks wasn't good for my family. It was, as Mr. Newton said, a curse. Issie (my nickname for my sister) had suffered the consequences of that curse.

Isabella Swan had died in Forks nearly sixteen years ago. My sister, to be fourteen in a month, died a week ago. Suicide.

I shuddered at the reality of the situation. It was awful. I never thought it was possible. Sure, she had been depressed. I had seen it. I had tried to help, but she wouldn't—or couldn't—talk about it. She didn't have any friends, other than me, and I was growing distant. I spent too much time trying to be social with my school friends. I wanted to belong, not spend time with an annoying little sister. I had been blind not to see the extent of Issie's pain. My mind was too warped with I'm-still-unhappy-with-moving and not focused on I'm-so-sick-of-Isabella-Swan's-shadow. Issie always felt like she had to live up to Renee's expectation for a daughter. I felt it too sometimes, but not as much.

Issie looked more like Phil, our father. I looked more like Renee, more like Isabella Swan. Issie had a closer personality though. She wore sweats, comfortable clothes, and never gave into the norm. She was casual wear; I was go-with-the-flow and don't-make-waves. Renee said they favoured the same books too. The classics, like Wuthering Heights. I liked books too, but I was more of a fantasy, old English time-set, or Shakespeare sort of girl. Books with the negativity of Wuthering Heights didn't appeal to me. Issie, on the other hand, loved it. She said she could identify with the characters. Renee thought it was wonderful that she was enjoying the same books as her deceased daughter. I thought it was unhealthy.

Renee was my mother, and ever since I was old enough to understand her, I had to—in a way—take care of her. She was still my mother, so she was the grown-up. Her brain was too scrambled sometimes, though. Thank God for Phil, my dad. He kept the bills paid—even though coaching wasn't the best paying job. Renee's teaching was what kept the bills completely paid, and what had kept Issie and me in school in the past. Rene had substituted for a few years when I was young, when I couldn't take of myself, when Phil was travelling trying to get a better signing, when Issie was just born. When I was twelve and could babysit Issie, Renee went back to school to get a better education and a better job in turn. In between raising two girls, dealing with the haunting memories of a lost daughter, and scheduling time in for Phil, Renee got her education and her better job. She taught elementary school anywhere from grade 2-3 was her usual range. She taught grade 2 when I was fourteen—Issie was twelve—and she taught grade 3 the next year.

Last year, we moved to Forks for a reason unknown to me or Issie. Renee wouldn't talk about it. Phil told us that Renee hadn't visited Forks since the funeral and she needed to go back. Issie and I were used to taking care of Renee by that point. It was how our lives worked. We took care of her, and she (and Phil) took care of us. It was a system that worked, and we weren't about to ruin it. So, we moved to Forks. Renee taught grade five. Issie got depressed soon after.

We moved at the end of the summer. Renee visited Charlie, but Issie and I didn't. It wasn't until, three months later, that the call came in that Issie was at the police station that I even met Police Chief Swan. Phil was still in Florida—the move was only for one year, so he wanted to keep the house ready and clean back home—and I was home alone. Renee had to stay late to mark a few tests. I called Renee, told her that I would go. Renee said that I should go—it wasn't too far of a walk, good exercise—and she would meet me in half an hour. She wanted me to keep Issie company until then. Talk to Charlie and get the low down on whatever the problem was. I spoke to Charlie, but the only thing that was really said was that I looked a lot like Renee. A lot like Isabella Swan.

Issie's problem wasn't good. It was the beginning of the end.

It wasn't an awful offense, as far as how bad it could have been. She had stolen something—I forget now—from a shop in town, an outdoorsy kind of store, belonging to the Newton's. When I asked Issie why she had done it, she said it was for when she ran away. I begged her not to run away, to not even mention it too Renee. It would upset her too much.

All in all, that was my biggest mistake. I had asked Issie not to talk to Renee. She may be the kind of woman who is best when care-free and reckless, but she could see so many things. Issie was questioned and questioned by Renee, but Issie didn't speak. She didn't want to upset her mother, nor disobey me. Issie exploded one day, furious, yelling that Renee had no right to question her. Issie stormed out, disappeared for hours, but came back. She was really quiet after that. All this took place in the fourth month of our stay in Forks. It rained almost every one of those days. It might have snowed twice, but other than that, every day was precipitation in some form or another.

It was the beginning of month five, January, when it snowed every day, that Issie committed suicide. There no letter of farewell, no warning. Charlie had been the one to check things out after Issie was found—in the woods just a block or two from our house. Charlie said it was either a suicide or a murder. But, because of the strange markings, it made sense that it was a suicide. Also, everyone knew—probably even Renee, who would have told Phil—that Issie didn't like Forks. She didn't like life at that point either. She was as silent as a lamb and her room was always locked and dark.

"Hi, honey, how are you doing?"

I looked up. Renee. "I'm fine, Mom," I lied. I was a terrible liar, but Renee was too distraught to tell. Her face was tear-stained, red and blotchy, and the dark circles under her eyes showed that she had about as much sleep as I had had—none. I had the same dark circles under my eyes as well.

"Mr. and Mrs. Newton showed," she commented, looking around the room. "Mr. Yorke too, the principal, right? I think all her teachers showed. That's nice of them."

"Not many students," I muttered.

"Not too many knew her," she said. Her face fell as she said this.

"Well, school's too busy to meet anyone," I offered, trying to take the guilt from her. "I only make friends because I introduce myself to everyone who sits beside me. Issie was too shy to…"

The word '_was_' rang in my head. Not 'is', but 'was'. Past tense. It was horrifying to think that Issie was past. She had no future. She was a slaughtered lamb, destroyed by the unforgiving world. How was it, as kind and sweet as she _was_ that she didn't deserve to live?

"Excuse me," I gasped, running away from my mother's outstretched arms, upstairs, door locked, into my room. I threw myself onto my bed and cried for half an hour. When I looked across the room at my door, I was reminded of Issie's room across the hall. I cried again and didn't stop until I had cried myself to sleep.

* * *

I had hoped that the sunny rays that peeped through my window were a sign of a good day, but when I threw my blinds off the window I was reminded of how much Issie loved the sun. I remembered that my sister, my best friend, was dead.

It was going to be a long day, a long life, without her. I worried that I might come to the same end. What if I wasn't strong enough? I had to stay alive for Renee, who had now lost two daughters. I had to stay alive for Phil, who had lost his first daughter. I had great parents who would miss me if I took my life. I refused to add anymore grief to their lives. I loved them far too much to do that to them.

Not that I doubted that Issie had loved them, she just had more troubles than I did. I could easily fake a few smiles, put on the facade for my 'friends', and convince my parents that I was fine, that way they could deal with their grief without worrying over me. I could do it. For at least a while. After I left home I could deal with my sorrow then. For now, I would be happy-go-lucky. I would… I had to…

No way. I couldn't. How could I pretend like Issie had never been? She was a part of me. I couldn't allow her to slip away. I had a right to mourn. I had a right as a human being to feel. I wasn't a careless monster who could pretend to be distracted in order to show my parents that I might be moving on. That would be a lie. I was hurting inside, and I was allowed to express that pain outwardly too.

_NO_! What was I thinking? I needed the facade, not only for my parents' sake but for mine as well. I needed to pretend to be able to keep myself together. I needed to disguise the pain, shield it within myself. It was the only way to heal. I had to shut it in.

But I needed one last glimpse behind first, before I could move forward.

It was a long walk to the Forks cemetery, so it was best I headed out early. I tossed around my room, looking for anything to wear. I found jeans and a form-fitting black sweater. I looked over my appearance in the mirror. I liked that my bust decreased in size thanks to the mirror. Not that I was overly-huge in that particular area, it's just that I preferred to remain inconspicuous. It wasn't helpful to have outstanding features when I didn't want to stand out.

Now, I wasn't overly gorgeous, I wasn't even all that pretty, but I did have an okay look—I wasn't ugly, and that would have to do for me. I wasn't the girl you would see on the cover of a magazine, or even inside it. I was natural looking, full lips—with an _almost _invisible scar, the width of a tooth from barely above the edge of my bottom lip down, from when my tooth went through my lips when I was three and fell. It blended in with the colour of my skin, and unless someone was studying my every feature, they wouldn't catch it. The rest of my features were straight, plain. So I didn't wear make-up. It would only make me look hideous. My skin was pale, thanks to years of hiding from the sun—Issie was the sun-lover, not me—I preferred the comfort of indoors, reading books under the covers of my bed, rather than stretching across cool grass as light warmed your face and soaked into your skin. I was practically albino, except my eyes were big and brown, my hair a light blonde-brown. My features, and my body, had a soft slenderness. I had always been jealous of Issie's features, which were sharp and she had the body of a short model. Me, I was just taller than her five foot four inches, but without the striking looks.

Issie had hid her beauty though. I just wasn't that fortunate. I had tried to wear the clothes that were in style, taking advice from my school friends on what to buy, what to wear, and what wasn't cool. I hated skirts though. I preferred the comfort of pants, jeans, two legs with no chance of something flying up in the wind. So, all I wore was jeans. Black, blue, ripped, with the butterfly, with the writing on the front of the left leg, without the sparkles but with the rime-stones—whatever helped me fit in…whatever my shopping advisers recommended. I went with the flow, caused no waves. I was no Issie. I had no backbone. In a way, she wasn't a silent lamb at all. She was the hunter, some large, wild cat preparing its move in stealth. I was just a quiet, helpless lamb being directed by my shepherds. Useless and easy for the kill.

My clothes were picked out. I scanned my room. My bed wasn't made, but I could do that later. The mess of sheets with a boring design—pale yellow sheets striped with golden-brown in vertical clumps and then scattered golden-brown stripes horizontally—was strewn over my single mattress. The chestnut-brown bedside table had my alarm clock and an old lamp on it. The bright blue letters read 10:00 AM. It was now or never. I stepped away from my large rectangular mirror—which almost took up the whole wall across from my bed because the room was so small—and burst from my room with new energy. I took a right down the old staircase just a foot away from my door. I skipped a couple steps on the way down and rushed into the kitchen. Renee was already there. She was crumpled in the kitchen chair, head in her hands, and elbows on the table.

I wasn't sure what to say. 'Good morning, Mom' seemed too casual. I wasn't sure if entering the room would disturb her. I decided to be quick, just zip in and then out. I avoided the kitchen table and went for the fridge. There wasn't anything in there, just an apple. A bright red apple. I reluctantly took it. It wasn't that I minded apples, in fact they were my favourite fruit (even if having a favourite fruit was weird). I just wasn't in the mood for an apple for breakfast.

"Oh, Steph," Renee greeted, standing from the chair and coming over to hug me. "Good morning. Sorry, I did hear you come in."

"That's fine," I allowed, reaching my arms out as she hugged me. "I just came in. You didn't miss much."

"I'm just a little scatter brained lately," she grinned. The expression didn't touch her eyes, which were shallow and pained—a reflection of my eyes. "I haven't had time to get groceries. Dad just went out a few minutes ago. I was going to go with…but I had a few things to take care of."

"Sure, sure." I studied her expression again. Dealing with loss was more than a few things. It was one HUGE thing—but I was glad to see that she remembered me. She wanted to protect me. She was, even through all the horrible pain inside her, still being my mom. I appreciated that and allowed a genuine smile to touch my lips.

"I'm going out, Mom, is that okay?" I asked carefully. I didn't want her to worry.

"Where?"

"The cemetery." I was reluctant to answer, but I couldn't lie. Literally, couldn't. I was unable to make up a believable story, so why not tell the truth?

"Oh," she said. "Oh, sure, Steph. Honey, just don't be out too late. Charlie said he was coming over later. He had a few final things to say. I said you'd be here so…please, no later than three, okay, baby?"

"I promise."

"Thank you." She kissed the top of my head. "Don't forget your jacket, it snowed again."

"Thanks, Mom," I grinned, taking her hand. "I love you, Mom. I'll be back by three, safe and sound."

"I know, sweet," she mumbled, tears building in her eyes. "I know."

I hugged her tightly, and she held back sobs, shaking for a few minutes. I held back all my sobs. I was going to save that for in front of the grave.

"Okay, go." She waved me off.

I put on my long white jacket—my friend Catlin had ordered me to get it, saying it was 'meant for me'—zipped it all the way to my neck, put on my black winter boots, and then tumbled out into the cold, closing the door stiffly behind me.

I trudged through the thick snow slowly, not bothered by the slow-pace. I liked the snow. I liked rain too. The only problem was the cold. My nose was probably bright red, as were my cheeks. I pulled my gloves out of my right pocket and roughed my fingers into them. I rubbed my hands together and sneezed a few times. I blamed the sneezing on the lack of sleep and not the cold.

It took a long while to get where I was going. It felt like forever. I had spent the time thinking of nothing, avoiding thinking of something that would hurt, and thus wasted time with the numbness that enshrouded my being. It was easier not to think at all, but it was extremely boring as well. I picked boring over painful, it was the better choice.

It was Monday, but I had no intention of going to school. Renee and Phil hadn't forced me to go either, which made me love them more than I already did. I was also glad that Phil had been able to come the very next day—the day after Issie's…death—and try to comfort Renee and me. He may have goal and desires, but he was the best dad a girl could ask for. It was too bad that Issie hadn't seen that. I was sure that if she had, she might have stuck around longer.

It was Monday, and I couldn't care less how much school I was missing. I had two weeks—more or less—of homework to catch up on. I didn't care for it though. I had no intention of doing it for a while—or even forever.

It was Monday, so the cemetery was open and hardly anyone was there. I could see someone, just one someone besides the old man leaving as I entered. I couldn't tell who it was. They were young, from what I could tell. Their skin was so pale that they blended into the snow. It was only the dark jacket and black pants that gave way to the figure. As I got closer the hair colour became clearer: a mess of reddish-brown bronze. It was a boy, for certain. He was six foot one, maybe six foot two. I couldn't tell from too far away.

I noticed where he was standing. It was a little uncomfortable knowing that I would have to walk up right next to him. My sister's grave was right next to where he was standing. I stuffed my hood over head, knowing that my long hair wouldn't be enough to hide myself. I hoped that hood would take away some of the cold from my numbing ears as well as provide hiding. I walked up beside him and stared at my sister's grave stone. I tried to focus on the words written, but this stranger was distracting me.

I glanced over at the grave next to Issie's—choking on my thoughts as Issie's name passed through my mind. The grave read: Isabella Swan. I read the date, thinking over how strange it was the when she died I was inside Renee, barely a baby yet, just being formed. Sometimes—not that I ever told anyone—I wondered if Bella Swan's death was the price of my life—the price paid allowing me to be born.

I looked back to Issie's grave, reading the name printed there. Isabella Dwyer: Beloved Daughter and Sister. It wasn't enough. She couldn't be summed up in two titles.

I looked away—teary-eyed and ready to start sobbing—finding that my eyes landed on the grave that the mysterious stranger stood ahead of. I looked up at him and immediately, making me jump, he looked at me.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"That's alright," he said in a beautiful velvety voice.

I stared wordlessly, thoughtlessly, at my sister's grave, suddenly not thinking about her. I felt the pain of her loss still, but I was too intent on the stranger to cry. I knew I would be able to cry when he left, so I thought I might as well take interest in my curiosity. My mind was clear for once in the longest time, since news of my sister's death. I was going to go with whatever clear emotions I had. Besides, this person next to me was mourning over Isabella Swan, dead for sixteen years.

He looked maybe seventeen—too young to know her personally—from what small glimpse I had caught of his face. It was perfectly normal to talk to someone my age, even if he was a stranger—right…?

"You knew Isabella Swan?" I asked. I looked at Isabella's grave, but not at his face, in case he was looking back.

"Yes, I knew her," was his small-voiced response. It took a few minutes, but eventually, I found that his head turned up and he appeared to be looking at me. I looked up. Something like shock flew across his face.

"Did you?" he asked, his voice sounding drained, but still rich and beautiful.

"Not personally," I said. "I'm her half-sister. You might know Renee, Isabella Swan's mother…?" He nodded. "She's my mother. She's Issie's—Isabella's—my sister's…She was my sister's mother. She's dead…" I closed my eyes, closed my mouth tight, unable to finish the sentence.

"I see," he said. He was quiet. "Her name was also Isabella?"

"Yeah," I answered, wiping a tear from my eyes, remembering that it was cold and that tears were water and water could freeze. I didn't want icicles on my skin or in my eyes. "Yeah, Renee—our mother—named her after her first daughter. Everyone was against it, but Renee liked the name, and she was hurting without…It was crazy, but Renee is like that." I looked back to Issie's grave. "I still can't believe…Forks."

"Forks?" the velvet-voiced stranger echoed.

"Well, my mom hates Forks," I explained. "But, she said she had to move here. She had to see Isabella's grave again. It was too long being away from her. Sixteen years, you know? It's a long time." I sighed and glanced over at the Swan grave. "My whole life in fact."

The stranger was silent, so I took this as an opportunity to steal a gaze at his face. I nearly died when I did. What I saw was the face of an angel. Normally, 'handsome' it the word you use for boys, right? Well, handsome wouldn't do. He was beautiful, looking something like a movie star posing in a shot for a grief scene, but still holding that flawless look. His features were straight, angular. He must have been sleep-deprived though, because purplish bruises under his eyes were his only flaw, and still, it seemed to complete the look. His eyes, which I saved for last, were a strange golden-colour, striking against his white marble skin. He was the type that could wear a dish-rag and pull it off. But, his clothes were fashionable enough, considering how small of a town Forks was. I could only guess that he was from out of town.

"Renee hates Forks," he repeated. His saddened features lit for a second with some small measure of hope.

I nodded my head mindlessly. "She loves the sun, same with Issie—or at least—she used to…"

"I'm sorry," he apologized, as if her death was his fault.

"It's not your fault," I disagreed, trying to sound light-hearted, and failing miserably. "It's not anyone's fault." No, that wasn't true. "Well, it's my fault, but no one will let me say it." I watched his face, unable to look away. He looked confused. "You see, it was suicide."

His features fell. "That's what I heard."

I nodded again, dragging my eyes off him. "I told her not tell Renee about something and she never spoke to Renee about another problem again. It's all my fault, but no one agrees with me. It's hard when no one thinks you're guilty. It takes all the fun out of confessing to the crime," I joked, finding that my vision was blurred with tears again. I wiped at them, unsuccessfully attempting to dry my eyes. The tears wouldn't stop. The flood gates were busted open, irreparably.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I interrupt you, start talking, and then break down into"—I gasped, sobbing still—"into tears. You shouldn't have to deal with me. I'm sorry."

I must a have cried for an hour. My hands were constantly wiping at my face, warming my cheeks. It wasn't snowing, but the ground was white with sticky snow anyways. My knees wobbled, and I nearly fell over, but something icy caught me.

"Careful," the stranger warned me. "It's cold out here and falling in that snow might make you sick."

I must have frightened him when I looked up, an expression resembling a deer in headlights, right before it gets hit.

"You…you're still here?" I gasped.

And then, he laughed. I was shocked. He was shocked. He stopped laughing—a beautiful chuckle, warm and soft sounding—and stared at my face incredulously. He studied for a while. I was thinking "Is he crazy?" for a minute. His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, just long enough for me to catch it. He then tossed a weary look at the grave he had been standing before. It was then that I noticed that his hand was on my arm, keeping me from falling over—I was leaning at an impossible angle, impossibly still standing thanks to his strange strength—and had taken a few steps close to me to do so.

"You look a lot like her," he whispered.

"That's what everyone says," I replied, mimicking his tone, sad and quiet. "Issie was named after her, and I look like her. Issie reads—read…the same books as her, I act like her. Issie and I aren't ourselves. We're her. Issie told me once that _that_ was the reason why."

"The reason why what?" he asked. I couldn't tell if he was asking because he felt he should or because he was honestly curious.

"She was so…sad," I answered. "Issie said she didn't like being compared. It wasn't easy for her. Sometimes I wonder if I have to take her place now. I wonder if I am supposed to be the new Isabella Swan."

His face flashed to anger at this. I would have been frightened but the look of anguish told me that he wasn't going to hurt me, only that he was disgusted at the fact that I was comparing myself to the standard of Isabella Swan.

"She was loved, very fondly. She meant a lot to everyone. I never met her, but I wish I had. For everyone to need her so much…for Mom to need her so much…for Charlie to miss her that much…She must have been wonderful."

"She was," he said, his voice low and sad again. He lifted me forward, straightening my odd angle.

"I'm Stephanie, by the way," I introduced, my voice still hoarse from speaking such personal words. I was shocked with how much I had shared with this stranger. Normally, I kept to myself, but I automatically trusted him, as if I had known him before. "What's your name?"

"Edward," he said. He paused, considering giving away his last name. "Edward Cullen."

"Edward Cullen," I repeated…such a familiar a name. "How did you know Isabella Swan?"

He avoided the question skill-fully. "What was your last name?"

"Dwyer," I answered.

"Renee stayed with Phil," he said. "That's good."

"How did you know that?"

"I have my ways," he smiled crookedly.

My heart melted upon seeing that beautiful crooked smile, waking from the numbness of the cold. Something flashed across my mind—the image of desire was what I assumed it was. It was the image of his face, close to mine, kissing me. It was the image of him next to me, just lying beside me as we spoke. It was an image of time spent in a shiny silver Volvo. It was him, sitting next to me, smiling, in the Biology classroom, watching school videos in the dark. Silly dreams they were—but they were vivid, as if they were memories returning to me.

I checked the time on my cellphone that I had stuffed in my jacket pocket before I left. It was 2:00 PM. I needed that time to get home for three, before three, so I could be ready and presentable at three. For Charlie.

"I better get going," I mumbled reluctantly shying away from Edward Cullen—thinking his name sent electric sparks through my blood. "I have to be home in time to see Charlie Swan."

He nodded once, suddenly looking perplexed, as if some expectation hadn't been met. Shock was well-hidden, only appearing in his eyes and not his expression. His marble forehead didn't even crease with worry. He was calm on the outside.

I walked passed him soundlessly, and then felt the urge to speak. "Say hi to Alice for me," I said, waving my hand behind me.

I had no idea who Alice was—although, I had known a second ago, but it slipped from me—but I had to say it. I could sense tension in the air, guessing that my assumed name must have been correct.

I walked the remainder of the way home in silent thought, thinking about Edward Cullen. For some reason, I knew I would see him again.

And I was right.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please review! If you're confused by anything, mention it in a review or otherwise I assume that I am going to address it in a later chapter. All things will be explained in time!**

**EDIT JAN-31-10: I fixed up some spelling and grammar grossness, so hopefully it's easier to read now. I will be doing the same with the other chapters in time. THANKS!**


	2. Chapter 2: Two Years Later

"Who was ever the same after leaving a strange world? Alice, the one who went to Wonderland, was she the same after she returned? Didn't she ever want to go back? What was she thinking once she returned to the boring real world? Or even the famous 'Little Mermaid'. She hadn't returned to her watery world under the sea after finding her true love. She fell to the sea and turned into foam. She had died and hadn't ever had to endure the emptiness of a life with only the memories of the new world she had seen. Had Dorothy ever wondered what happened to the Wicked Witch's flying monkeys? What happened to Munchkin-land with the Witch gone? Where had the Wizard landed? Dorothy had said there was no place like home, and that was true. But where was home? I didn't have a home without...him." - _from another story I wrote_. (_Also about vampires_!)

* * *

"Bella, can you drop the rock, please? Carefully. Don't hurt yourself."  
_My hand throbbed, burned, stung. Was it broken? I didn't remember breaking my hand. But yet, the knuckle was screaming in protest of the object I was squeezing sharply in my hand._  
_I looked up, and Edward Cullen was there, hesitantly standing a few feet from me, hands raised in the air._  
It took me a few long seconds to remember how to move my fingers. Then, the rock clattered to the ground, while my hand stayed frozen in the same position.  
Edward relaxed slightly when my hands were empty, but came no closer.  
"You don't have to be afraid, Bella," Edward murmured. "You're safe. I won't hurt you."

* * *

I opened my eyes at that point. Dream over. I was awake.

I glanced at my clock, rolling over on my side to see over the mess of blanket that had been blocking the alarm clock from view. The bright blue numbers read 10:00 AM.

"Wow," I sighed. "Thank God it's Saturday." If it had been a week day, I would have been very late for one of my last days of school. That wouldn't be good.

I puzzled over the reoccurrence of that same dream. The last time I had had it, it had been two years ago, the night after talking to Charlie Swan, after meeting Edward Cullen.

I had arrived home just at 3:00 PM, and Charlie was already there. He was speaking quietly with Renee, so I tried to be silent, putting away my jacket and boots in secret, so not to disturb them. It took only a few minutes--while I was attempting to sneak upstairs unnoticed--before Renee heard me in the house and ordered me downstairs.

"Steph, you remember Charlie, right?" Renee asked, gesturing toward the man sitting across from her. And yeah, I recognized him. His hair had thinned considerably, but I could see some hint of a handsome man that Renee married when she was young--and then later divorced.

"Hi," I greeted.

"Hello," he said gruffly.

"Have a seat, Steph," Renee ordered. I saw no choice in the matter.

"Sure, sure," I agree, taking the seat next to Renee.

It took me a minute to realize that Charlie was staring at me, his eyes getting teary. I felt self-conscious, but I just blushed and looked away. I saw Charlie rub his eyes out of my peripheral vision.

"I'm sorry," he said. "She just looks so much like...like Bella."

I shut my eyes tight. Bella Swan, Charlie's daughter. Renee's first daughter. The girl that my late sister was named after--that wore, 'late', sent a round of tears to me eyes--and the girl that Issie was laying next to in the cold winter ground, all alone.

"Steph has lighter hair," Renee pointed out, holding back tears of her own. "She gets it from Phil. Taller too, Phil again."

I thought of the differences. Lighter hair, taller. From pictures I had seen, I also had slighter thinner lips, but my head shape was the same as Bella's--heart-shaped. My eyelashes were longer, but not as dark. It seemed that I blushed just as easily as her. Every other picture held that same rose-coloured cheeks, the same as me. I hated the comparison, but if it made things easier for Renee--and even Charlie--then I would go through the pain of it. I had to take care of them first, myself second.

"Phil, did you get the milk?"

I stared up as Phil entered the kitchen with grocery bags. I offered to help bring the others in, but he insisted that I sit, relax. We both knew that wasn't going to happen, but I appreciated the effort. And yes, Phil got the milk. He was the only adult in the house capable of getting groceries. Renee was too flustered in the aisles to pick anything--or remember anything. She got distracted. Usually though, it wasn't her fault. She tried to pick the best bargains--not that there was much variety in Forks.

"Dad, let me get the last bag," I insisted.

"Sure, sweets," Phil agreed. "Go ahead. Thanks."

I headed out--thankful to get away from the stares. They all were looking at me for the one thing they had lost. Bella Swan. Issie had been the last Bella Swan, and now, I was next. I would have to make up for the lives of two daughters--two wonderful people who were lost in the winter's ground. They were in heaven, sure. But here on earth, I was the dump for their lost memories and lives. How was I supposed to have an existence of my own with them still haunting the adults? I would have to live for at least a hundred years to gain a life of my own. But that, that was quite impossible. Living forever was right next to Big Foot, the Tooth Fairy, and vampires.

I brought the last bag into the kitchen and helped unpack, putting things in the appropriate spaces. After that was done, I had no choice but to listen to the conversation of mourning parents.

"I still can't believe..."

"It'll be alright, Renee."

"But--_again_--Forks has some sort of--of--of curse on me or something." Renee sobbed, and I handed her a tissue to blow her nose. She did, which took up an entire minute. "It does get easier though."

"Is wouldn't want us to neglect Steph here," Phil said--using his nickname for Issie, 'Is'--glancing toward me. "Steph, you don't have to stick around us. Why don't you call up your friends?"

"It's Monday, Dad. They're all in school."  
"That's right, I'm sorry."  
"I think I'll go read a book though--if that's okay...?"

"Sure, Steph, go ahead," Renee encouraged, smiling through the hurt that was eating her up inside. I guessed that they wanted me gone so that they didn't have to pretend to be strong for me. So that they could cry. I wasn't about to deny them that opportunity. I myself wanted to go to my room and cry for a while.

I left, saying a short goodbye to Charlie. I went to my room, closed the door, and buried my head in my pillow. It was cold, and that was comforting. The cold always helped me. It was the warmth that hurt. It was the sunshine that wounded me. It was any reminder of Issie that cut a hole out of my chest and poured lemon juice on it, to deepen the sting. Cold was good. Cold was comfortable, as it always had been.

Still, I couldn't cry. I kept my eyes closed and found that my thoughts--after successfully avoiding the words 'late', 'deceased', and 'alone'--drifted to Edward Cullen. It wasn't anything in particular. I just thought of him. His name, mostly. It seemed familiar.

The night after talking to Charlie--however brief the talk was--I had that dream. Something like a rock was jammed into my hand, and Edward Cullen was convincing me that he wouldn't hurt me. And you know what? I believed him. There was no doubt in my mind that I could trust him.

I had a dream about Edward Cullen for the entire week, even vivid daydreams blocked any coherent thoughts. Every scene was different, as if from someone else's life, as if they were memories. At first, seeing them was like living them, but then, it occurred to me that I was probably fantasizing. How could I not? Doesn't every girl imagine romantic scenes with a handsome, chivalrous seventeen-year-old? Well, I did.

Tuesday was a dream were I was--probably--nearly killed or raped, and then he saved me. He pulled up in a shiny silver Volvo said "Get in," and we were off. I was rescued from a group of men that had been closing in on me, ready to pounce. But I was saved. I had no fears, not when I was next to him.

Wednesday I was sitting outside Chief Swan's house. I had seen it once before, but I recognized it in my dream. For some reason, in my dream, I thought it was my house. I ignored that strange thought because I was with Edward Cullen. I was talking with him. That meant the world to me. And he laughed, which was now my favourite sound in the whole world.

Thursday we were hiking through dense jungle--or somewhere in the greenery of Forks. It was hard to tell with all the green leaves blocking my view. It was hard work, the most laborious dream I had ever had. But again, I was with him, so it wasn't bad. I enjoyed it.

Friday I heard the most beautiful music. A lullaby, meant only for me, it seemed. He was playing it. His long white fingers stretched across the piano's keys in fluid motions, carry with it a tune that could only be written by an angel. I cried at the end of the dream, and when I awoke, I wiped the tears of my cheeks. I knew then that I had to see him again.

So, that's what I did. I went to see Edward Cullen.

I threw on my jacket, jammed my feet into my black winter boots, and yanked open the door. Phil called to me from the front door, he asked where I was going. My quick response--as I raced down the snowy street--was "Cemetery, be back for lunch!" It had been 6:00 AM when I had left, so I wasn't surprised that Phil was curious about where I was heading so early on a Saturday morning.

The sun had barely lit the sky when I arrived. Shadows touched everything, but it was easier that way. I realized that the chances of someone being in the cemetery before 7:00 AM were unlikely. But when I crossed through the gates, I saw a figure in the distance, white skin and bronze hair. I slowed my pace to a walk, and approached less cautiously than I had the last time.

"Here again, I see," I greeted, pulling up beside him, centering myself in front of Issie's grave. "How is it you knew her?"

He ignored me, so I turned to Issie's grave stone. I had only wanted to see him again, and that was full-filled. I could know focus on Issie. I had forgotten to bring a flower again. I had wanted to bring a ruffled tulip, which was Issie's favourite, and one of my favourite flowers too.

"You're not going to answer me," I stated. It was obvious, no question needed.

"Sorry." His velvet voice held some held-back urge to laugh. From the expression I caught on his face, it seemed that the urge surprised him.

"Well, sorry for bugging you again," I apologized, not really sorry at all. "I better be going now. Goodbye, Edward Cullen." I faced Issie's grave and spoke very softly. "Goodbye, Issie, see you soon."

This sentence perplexed Edward. When I saw his face, his eyes searching mine, I saw that he was concentrated deeply on me. He looked like he was trying to read the thoughts going through my mind, as if that would give him the answer he seeked. It was impossible to read minds though, and he wouldn't be happy with my thoughts. There were only two things on my mind lately: Edward Cullen and Issie. Both of these things were fairly obvious. I was an open book.

Just like Bella Swan. Renee had told me that once.

I nodded once at Edward and decided it was best to leave, before he managed to pull my thoughts from my head. He didn't make a move to stop me, so I guessed that he had given up on mind-reading.

I wasn't too far away when I heard his beautiful velvet voice humming the sweetest song I had ever heard.

I whipped around, heart racing madly. I wasn't sure whether to be terrified, or to take it as a sign. Either way, Edward Cullen was humming the lullaby from my dreams. I was frozen, listening to the sound escaping his throat. I was gaping, mouth wide, eyes wide. I didn't make a move until I realized the humming had stopped and he was staring at me.

"Where did you learn that song?" I asked breathlessly.

"I wrote it," he answered simply.

"No, that's impossible," I disagreed.

He made a quick movement, as if he was going to shake his head. "Have you heard it before?" I nodded. "That's impossible."

"I have to go," I said quickly, turning on my heels and running as fast as I could, escaping my dream. I wasn't awake, that was the only rational solution.

I stopped. I slapped my cheek. "Ouch!" That hadn't worked. I pinched my arm best I could through my jacket. I was still asleep--or still awake. I turned back to see Edward Cullen looking incredulously at me. I was wide-eyed, but I ran again, ignoring the sting of the cold air against my unblinking eyes.

I ran into Charlie--literally--on my way back home. BANG and I fell backward.

"S-sorry," I stuttered.

"That's alright," came Charlie's gruff response. I looked up immediately and his eyes widened when he recognized me--eyes wide with fear, shaking, but not from cold. "Are you okay?"

"Just a little bruise, I'm sure," I replied, standing and wiping snow off my sore bottom. "Sorry again, for running into you, Mr. Swan."

"Please, call me Charlie," he insisted.

"Charlie," I repeated.

"Did you...just come from the cemetery?"  
"Yes."  
"Anyone there this early?"  
"Yes."  
"Who's that?"  
"You probably don't know him."  
"I know everyone in this town."

I laughed. It was true. Chief Swan knew everyone. It was the kind of small town where everyone knew everyone's life story. Only the Dwyer's were unknown. Even now, people knew who were were. Our life story was still unknown though. Except for Renee. She had been in Forks before. Forks had known her first daughter, and now, Forks would know her other two daughters.

"Do you know Edward Cullen?" I asked, still smiling. Charlie wasn't smiling anymore. He looked as white as a ghost--or as white as Edward.

"Edward Cullen," he echoed lifelessly. "Edward Cullen was there?"

I nodded. Charlie didn't give me time to speak and he was halfway down the road.

"How do you know Edward Cullen?" I called after him, running up beside Charlie. He was fast for his age. Or maybe it was the blind fury that was driving him.

"Edward Cullen," he sighed, not slowing his pace, but quickening it. "He was Bella's intended. They were going to get married."

"Oh," I said. I remembered what Mrs. and Mr. Newton were talking about after Issie's funeral. "This is a different Edward Cullen," I told him. "He's no older than me. The Edward Cullen you knew would have to be at least thirty, right? This Edward Cullen was seventeen, I think."

Charlie slowed his pace incredibly. Then, he stopped. I paused with him. The wind whistled as it passed. The snow began to fall.

"Seventeen, huh?" Charlie muttered. "Can't be him then."

"Maybe the Edward you knew got married," I suggested. "It's possible."

"He wouldn't do that to Bella," he argued. "I may not like him, but he loved Bella. He wouldn't do that to her."

"Sure, Charlie," I agreed, not wanting to cause waves. "He would never do that to Bella." I had no idea if this was true or not. I didn't know Bella's Edward. I only knew Edward Cullen from the cemetery. I couldn't imagine someone wasting sixteen years of their life mourning, even over a true love. There were second loves in life, right? Renee was proof of that.

"You best get home," Charlie instructed, his tone losing anger and gaining quiet. "It's cold. Your parents will be wondering where you are."

"Yeah, they will," I agreed. "Goodbye, Charlie. See you around." He nodded at me, and then we parted ways. I went home, he went to the cemetery.

Two years passed since then. I had dreams--vivid as memories, vivid as if living another life while I slept--every night of those two years. Many times I was called Bella. I wondered if I was playing Bella Swan or Issie in my dreams. Too many people called me Isabella, Bella, Bells. It was too much! I didn't want another secret life in my dreams--but I had it. Sometimes the dreams were amazing. They repeated, usually the most horrifying ones or the loveliest ones. The most common ones repeated were the long car rides, speaking with Edward Cullen.

Occasionally, usually after a stressful test or the night before an assignment is due, I woke from a nightmare about a hole in my chest. It wasn't the kind of hole you could see, but these were the dreams without Edward there. These dreams got easier as some russet-coloured skinned boy appeared. He was nice to me. He helped get me past the hole. I was being stitched back together.

In consciousness, I figured that the dreams were metaphors. I was slowly being healed from losing Issie. The hole was still there, but it was being stitched. My thoughts--constantly drifting to Edward Cullen, who I hadn't seen since before running out of the cemetery that day--were normal again. They didn't echo the heaviness on my heart. I could breath again. Things were getting clearer. I was living again.

I had gained a slight interest in Wuthering Heights. I read it, twice. I read it for Issie, and found that it was intriguing. I put it down for the third time the night before the repeat of the "I won't hurt you" dream. It was battered by this point, the spine falling apart.

I glanced at the alarm clock again. It was 10:30 AM. Flashbacks took up more time than I had. I didn't like living in the past. Living in the future was the only true way to heal. Looking back only seared the pain in the hole in my chest, the place where a swollen heart was finally healing.

It was Saturday. Tomorrow would be Sunday. Monday would be the first of my final exams. Then, I would be done high school.

Phil had stayed a year in Forks with Renee and I. We got closer than ever. We were a tight family, and for the first year we went once a week to Issie's grave. The second year, Phil had to go back. We couldn't live unless we paid the bills. Renee didn't want to leave. She couldn't, not when two of her daughters were here forever. She couldn't leave them alone. I refused to leave as well. Renee bargained that we would stay one more year in Forks, and then we would move to sunny Jacksonville again. I told her I wasn't so sure. I didn't want to leave.

That caused some fights in the household. I didn't speak to Renee for a day. I wasn't good at keeping grudges, so a day was a big deal for me. After that one day, Renee broke down and I felt guilty for that. I soothed her and said that after a year's time we would talk it over. She liked that plan. She wished I would leave Forks, but she couldn't make me.

I knew the reason she wanted me to leave. She didn't want to lose another daughter to Forks. I got that. But I had a pull, something urging me to stay. I tried to convince myself that it was for Issie. For my friends. I knew the truth though. I wanted to stay for Edward Cullen.

Stupid, right? But it was the truth. The dreams starring him were my escape from the pain. He had healed me. The boy named Jacob too, although I had never met him. He was my secret friend, tucked in my head, ready to stitch my hole. Edward was the plug for the hole. Two people I didn't really know, and their two names was the summarization of my existence. Stupid. Right.

I scanned my eyes across the room. Not much had changed in the last two years. I had a picture of Issie on my dresser, a group picture of my 'friends', and one picture of Phil and Renee. I didn't keep pictures of myself. Not only would that be egotisical, but also there was no point adding more plain-and-dull to my plain-and-dull room.

I looked in the mirror. I had gotten a smaller one last year. It was vertically placed, beside my dresser. It was longer, so I got a full length view of what I looked like. Nothing much had changed there either. I wasn't any taller, I wasn't any wider--Thank God--or skinnier. The only change was that my hair was longer again. I liked long hair. It was completely me. My other friends had hacked off their hair. They had wanted me to do the same, but it was the one subject where making waves was necessary. I liked long hair, as did Issie, once upon a time.

My brown-blonde hair was long enough to touch just below my rib-cage. It was mostly straight, but when slept on wet--like last night--it got knotty and wavy. I brushed it out to the best of my ability, but it still looked unkempt. I threw it into a ponytail, admiring how the length was below my shoulder blades even in a high ponytail.

I threw on the first thing I saw--my sweats on the floor. I wasn't the kind of girl who normally wore sweats, except on weekends. Weekends were the exception to all rules--as far as I was concerned. Phil and Renee liked to think that I followed their every rule.

I skipped down the stairs happily. Saturday was on of those days that promised relief from homework. Hard work could be left to cram in on Sunday--or, it was already done on Friday, which, was what I had done this past Friday. That wasn't the norm for me, but with final exams, I figured that getting my last assignments done early wouldn't be such a bad thing. All I had to do was hand every thing in and then right a Biology exam. Fun, fun.

"Good morning!" I greeted, kissing Renee on the forehead as I swept through the kitchen.

"Why are you so cheery?" she asked, a curious smile creeping over her lips.

"It's Saturday," I answered simply. "How can you not be cheery?"

"Well, I was reading this book," she said, diving into the print of the sci-fi book in her hands. "It just mentioned Saturday." I rolled my eyes. "A lot of bad things keep happening. People are disappearing on Friday, and then reappearing Saturday with no memories!" She smiled intently at her book, while I gathered milk from the fridge and searched for any good cereal. "They don't remember their own lives, they remember someone else's life. As if their brains were switched around! Be careful out there today, Stephie, it's Saturday."

"I'll be careful," I promised. "I'm only going to go for a walk, settle down somewhere with a good book."

She stared at me perplexed. "I thought you liked reading inside?"

"I do," I agreed. "I just have a feeling--I have to go outside today, okay?"

She rolled her eyes. "I thought that stopped when you were little."

"What stopped?" I wondered.

"When you were little, you always said such strange things," she said.

"Don't all little kids say strange things?"  
"Yes, but more than a little strange. Eerie, almost."  
"Okay, like what?"

She cleared her throat. "Well, for one thing, when you were younger, you used to sleep-talk." I laughed at that, but then allowed Renee to finish the story. She looked so grim. "You used to talk about diamonds in the sun," she continued. "Sometimes you would talk about giant wolves in a forest. The other things didn't make any sense. But one time you said someones name, someone I know, someone Bel--Bella knew." She closed her eyes tightly, trying to drop the painful recall of her Bella's death. "You said his name a lot when you were little. It scared me. I wasn't sure what it meant. We went to a doctor, remember? To get you to stop sleep-talking?"

I didn't remember. I had some small talent at pushing back horrible memories. "No," I responded slowly. "I don't remember."

"Well, we did," she sighed. "You don't talk in your sleep anymore." She opened her eyes again. "After the talking stopped, you would say that you had a feeling that you had to do something. Once, there was a motorbike parked outside a restaurant. A red one, I think. You said you had to touch it. I tried to get you away from it, but you just had to touch it. Thank goodness you didn't get caught. Phil picked you up and we drove away." She laughed. "I was too afraid top go back there," she admitted sheepishly. "So we never did. I was being silly, wasn't I?"

"Yes, Mom," I agreed laughingly. "But good choice. I would hate to have Dad try and stick up to a biker all for my sake."

"No, that wouldn't be good at all," she frowned. "Good thing we never went back."

"So, just motorcycles?" I questioned. "Or something else too?"

"Remember when you were twelve, and I suggested we go to Italy?" she reminded me. "You said 'No way!', and that was that. You refused to go. You refused to let us go. You said it was too dangerous and that _they_ would kill you. You frightened not only me and Phil but Is too."

"They who?"

"We never found out," she grinned. "I guess it was something out of a nightmare and you didn't want to admit it."

"Probably." I poured the milk into my cereal. "Just stuff like that?"

"Yeah." She bobbed her head. "Just stuff like that."

"I was odd," I mocked. "Mom, how could you ever raise such a weird little girl?"

"I don;t know," she shrugged. "I blame the books I let you read. Like that one, right there." She gestured to the book I had brought downstairs with me. "I can't believe you read Anne Rice."

"Vampires are interesting," I said. "I'm madly in love with vampires! I can't help it."

"Not just vampires," she corrected. "You like werewolves too."

"And all things supernatural, Mom," I agreed, shoving several mouth-fulls of cereal into my mouth. "Faeries, werewolves, etc. All fun stuff to read about."

"You liked unicorns when you were younger," Renee sighed. "I remember that. But even before unicorns, it was vampires."

"Vampires are the best," I said. "Now, I have to go."

"Don't be out too late," she ordered. "You have to study for exams."

"I know, Mom," I sighed. "Thanks." I was thankful that Renee had grown up considerably. I didn't have to take care of her anymore. She took care of me, I was the kid again. A kid eighteen-in-more-than-a-week. My birthday was next Monday.

I grabbed the ruffled white tulip from my room--racing upstairs to get it, and then racing downstairs--tripping in my klutziness--and heading to the front door.

I left without another goodbye. I was thankful for the good temperature outside. There was no need for a jacket, only the old sneakers I shoved my feet into were added to my light outfit. I headed to the cemetery without another thought. I read through only a hundred pages on the walk over. My mind was distracted. I was going to the cemetery. How could I not be distracted?

I hadn't seen Edward there. I wasn't expecting him to be there--well, sort of. Every time I went I wanted to see him. I felt relief and sadness when he wasn't there. Relief: I could focus on Issie. Sadness: I couldn't see him.

I decided that I would walk into the cemetery, nose shoved into my book, and not look for him. He wasn't going to be there, so it didn't matter. My feet had memorized the route, so there was no need to look where I was going. I just had to avoid the gravestones, head straight to the bench behind Issie's grave, right beside the apple tree. (Weird, huh? Apple tree in a graveyard? Don't ask me. I didn't plant it there. The person who did plant it had a long story to why it was there.)

I noticed that there was someone there. I didn't look up. I told myself not to care. I would be lost in the words again in a moment. I felt hyper-aware of this person, and even the words of Anne Rice weren't enough to distract me. The urge to look up was gnawing at me.

"You're not going to talk to me today?" asked a velvet voice. I snapped my head up. "Sorry," he laughed. "It's just that every time we meet, you seem to want to question me."

"Every time we meet you don't answer my questions right," I spat.

"There's a right way?"

"You ignore my questions anyways," I frowned. "It doesn't matter. Besides, I haven't seen you since two years ago! I have no reason to strike up conversation now."

"Alright," he chuckled. I took note that he wasn't brooding like before. He wasn't happy, not really. He was just better off.

I forced myself into my book--but it wasn't working! I grumbled for a second, deliberating between thoughts. I snapped _Interview With A Vampire _closed and looked up at Edward Cullen. "Why are you talking to me?" I asked.

"I was under the impression that we were no longer talking," he corrected.

"Well, now we are."

"Alright."

"How did you know Bella Swan?" I questioned. "You wouldn't tell me last time."

His face fell. "It's a long story."

"Do you know another person by the name Edward Cullen?" I questioned. He shot me a mocking glance. "Do you know Chief--Charlie Swan, do you know him?" Edward stiffened, looking as if he had forgotten how to nod. "He knows someone named Edward Cullen too. He said that they were--that Isabella Swan and Edward Cullen were--going to get married." Edward's face fell again, his eyes turning dark and despairing. "After the last time we met, I saw Charlie after I left. He thought you were said Edward Cullen," I explained. "I was just wondering if you were related to him--if that's how you know Isabella Swan."

"I am," he answered. He didn't sound convinced.

"You can lie if you want to," I said. He looked at me, shocked. "Well, it's obvious that's you're lying. I have no clue what your relation was to Isabella Swan, but if your still visiting her, it wasn't because someone told you too. You must have known her--even thought that's impossible."

I thought that over. I was beginning to be as scattered as prone to conspiracy as Renee. Already I was imagining that Edward Cullen--this impossibly handsome more-than-likely teen-aged boy--was really a thirty or so year old man in disguise. That was crazy. This Edward couldn't be the same Edward Cullen that was going to marry Isabella Swan. He would have to be never-aging. Like a vampire or a prince under a curse--both equally romantic.

"How old are you?" I asked, suddenly unable to hide my curiosity.

"Seventeen," he answered hesitantly.

I smiled smugly. "I was right," I laughed. Then, something occurred to me. I looked over at him, studied his face. He looked exactly as he had two years ago. No change. "How long have you been seventeen?"

It took him a minute to decide between life-threatening-shock and anger. He decided to play dumb. "What?"

"How long have you been seventeen?" I repeated.

"A while," he answered. His eyes narrowed. He studied me carefully as I studied him. "Since the beginning of this year."

"Lie if you need to, Edward Cullen," I said. "I can wait." And then, I returned to my book.

"You're reading in a cemetery?" he asked.

"Is something wrong with that?" I asked angrily.

"No," he sighed. "I suppose not. I like to think that graveyards are for respect--not for pleasure."

"It calms me," I said. "I like to think that Issie is reading here with me. We both liked the same sort of books usually. She must get awfully bored laying there, all alone. At least with me here, she gets a good book to flip through and pleasurable company."

"Why would she still be here?" he asked, his velvet voice hoarse, but still soft. "Why wouldn't she be in heaven?"

"She probably is," I frowned, looking up from the book again into his beautifully strained features. "I just like to think that she comes back, for me, at least." I paused, and took a gander at her grave stone. "It's selfish," I whispered. "I know that. I can't help it. I like knowing--believing--that she sees me, loves me as much as I love her, and as connected as we were in life, it's even stronger now. A little bit of heaven's light connects us." I smiled warmly and stood. "Sisters are like that," I laughed, wiping a new tear from my eye. "Crazily connected. Two flowers in the same garden--ah, which reminds me."

I took the white flower from my hand and placed it on the grave. "When I see that in movies, I never understand how they picked just the right flower. The one that means something. This was Issie's favourite."

I smiled at my work. It looked lovely. I was certain that Issie would approve. I opened _Interview With A Vampire_ again and when I turned the page, I sliced my finger open.

"Ouch! Ouch!" I chanted, studying the paper cut. "Why is it paper cuts sting so much?" I felt woozy. There was blood--my blood. Blood and I didn't make a good team. I fainted at the slightest sign of blood. The paper cut was deep. It dripped down toward the earth, and it stained the white petals of the tulip. "Oh, crap," I grumbled. "Sorry, Issie."

I looked from the stained petal to the stained page corner. I was not pleased. I watched as Edward stiffened beside me. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Don't tell me you don't like blood?"

He chuckled at that, unfreezing slightly. "No," he said. "It's not that I don't like blood."

"Well, I don't," I admitted. "I usually faint. So far though, so good."

"You're as white as a ghost," he commented, his voice becoming distant.

"No, more like as white as you," I corrected. "How do you manage that anyways? Are you sun-phobic? Or albino?"

"Something like that," he frowned. "You should probably go. Especially if you plan on fainting."

"No, it's fine," I assured him. "It's just the smell that makes me faint."

Edward opened his mouth, but thought what he was going to say over again. "Humans can't smell blood," he said finally.

"Well, I can," I argued.

"What did you say your name was?" he interrupted, not giving me a chance to describe what I smelled.

"I actually better be going," I dodged, sounding as nervous as I felt--which, was a lot. "I promised not to be back late," I explained in a nervous haze. I tripped over my own two feet--I was a klutz when nervous--and Edward Cullen's arm steadied my fall. I nearly fainted--and not because of the blood.

"You're avoiding my question," he said after a moment of silence--not awkward silence, but still with that nervous feel. My face--I was sure--was red.

"If we meet again, I swear I'll remind you of what my name is," I sighed. "Now, goodbye."

And I--regretfully--left. I left without looking back. And that was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I got back in time for a solid three hours studying. My brain was fried after that. Note to self: never study for three hours again. You don't remember a thing--except, by that point, every page number in the textbook is memorized according to heading, but the actual information is a mystery.

"Steph?" Renee called. "The phone for you!"

"Thanks Mom," I yelled, skipping merrily--for a reason unknown to even me--down the stairs. "Who is it?"

"Uh, it's...one second." Silence, mumbling. "It's Catlin!"

"Thanks," I muttered, taking the phone from her hand. I sighed. I wanted to avoid Catlin. She wasn't a bad person, she was just...opinionated. "Hey, Cat," I said, preparing for whatever conversation she had prepared for me.

"Stephie! You wouldn't believe what happened to me today," she squealed.

"What happened?" I sounded excited, and maybe deep down I was. Maybe.

"Seth asked me to marry him! Isn't that great?"  
"Seth? Really?"  
"Well, we have been dating since grade six."  
"But, on again, off again, right?"  
"Well--now it's on again! _Forever_!"

Forever? I wished there was someone out there for me, my forever...I shook the thought from my head. There was no way some guy I met in a cemetery was my perfect match.

"Stephie?"

Why should I even think that? Was I losing my mind? I had to be losing it to think about marrying a complete stranger. Besides, I was against young marriage.

"Steph, are you there?"

Renee had gotten married young. She had divorced Police Chief Charlie Swan soon after. Apparently Bella Swan was going to get married young too. Look where that got her. I had no intention of an early death nor an early divorce--or any divorce at all--if I could help it.

"Steph! Are you daydreaming again?"

"What?" I gasped. "Oh, sorry," I laughed apologetically. "I didn't mean to ignore you Cat. It's just--you're so young--so is he. Don't you want to wait? Maybe you should go to university first. You want to be a marine biologist, right?"

"I can do that later," she retorted. "I'll have plenty of time for that after I get married. Besides, Seth says that with his career he'll be able to support us both! He's in the trades, you know."

"Yeah, I know," I recalled. "Isn't he moving to Seattle next month?"

"Yes, he is." She was quiet for a while. She spoke again, quieter, held back. "I'm going with him. I love him, Steph. I know he loves me. This is right, I can feel it."

"Then go ahead, Cat," I encouraged. "True love waits, I always say--but if it really feels right, then it can't be wrong--so there's no point in waiting, is there?"

"No there isn't!" she cheered. "Thank you so much, Stephie! I love ya! Oh--and you're going to come right?"

"Yes."  
"It's going to be at the end of the summer."  
"Sounds alright."  
"It'll be in Port Angeles."  
"Why there?"  
"I like it there."  
"Does he?"  
"Of course, silly! We decided together."  
"Of course."  
"I'll send you an invitation later."  
"I'll be waiting for it."  
"I gotta go, bye bye!"  
"Goodbye, Cat."

I closed my eyes when the line disconnected. I sunk into the wall. I heard Renee walk past me, stop, and then turn around.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Her tone was filled with worried motherly affection.

"I'm fine," I assured her. "Catlin is getting married, to a boy named Seth."

"When?" Renee couldn't fathom the possibility of young marriage anymore than I could. She had experience to prove that it was a bad move. "After they're finished school?"

"At the end of the summer."  
"Wow, so soon..."  
"Yeah. Soon."

"I'm sorry you never met anyone in high school, Bella," Renee sighed, slipping out of the kitchen and toward the holiday. "You'll meet someone when you go away to university, I swear!"

"Yeah, sure," I mumbled, placing the phone on the charger and silently wiping a tear from my cheek with my left hand. I found that my right hand was shaking too hard--formed into a fist--to do anything. "Someday."

"I have to go out, okay, Steph?" she called from the front door. "Groceries have run low." She stuck her head into the room. "That was your chore, remember?"

"Sorry," I muttered, smiling apologetically. "I forgot. Do you want me to go now?"

"No," she sighed, leaving the room quickly. "You study some more."

"Okay," I promised, heading up the stairs as the front door shut.

I tried to ignore it. It was hard, but I tried. It was becoming more frequent, and that worried me. More and more often, Renee would call me Bella instead of Steph. I was worried--more for her sake than mine--and I was sad. I was deeply sad that she might be forgetting who I was. I wasn't me anymore. I was a copy. I was the replacement Bella Swan.

I slept that night with another repeated dream. Actually, I had two--well, the first was a nightmare. The second was a dream.

The first was me stumbling through the forest, blindly pressing forward, searching. It started to rain. It was cold. My name was being called--again, and again...and again. I didn't respond. I couldn't if I had wanted to. I was stuck, frozen under my pain more than the freezing raindrops. Sam Uley--I had no idea who that was, but he was tall and muscular like no one I had seen in my life--picked me up, found me. He said "Bella," in recognition of finding me. I tried to shout that it wasn't my name. My name was...but I forgot. The thing I had been searching for was lost. It didn't matter who I was--or even what I was, especially in my dead-like state--unless the one I had lost was returned to me. That one was the only thing that mattered--the only person that mattered.

The second one was the good dream. It was a strange one, but good. I blamed studying three hours of Biology for the dream. Three hours of Biology and Edward Cullen.

My dream was that of blood-typing. I almost fainted at the smell of it, at the thought of it--blood, finger-pricking--it was horrible. Some boy I didn't recognize--blond spiky hair, kind of looked like a young Mr. Newton--offered to help me to the nurse's office on request of the teacher. I was thankful to get out of there, but the boy had his finger pricked already--I made sure to order him to keep his hand in his pocket, which, he did. I was so dizzy though, I had to stop halfway. That was when he came.

Edward Cullen's dialogue in the dream was wierd. It matched what we had said in the cemetery, about blood...and other things that seemed so familiar. It was da ja vu, only it hurt. It was painful again, thinking--when I woke--it would be just a dream. There was no real trip to the nurse's office, arguing with Edward Cullen. There was no moment in time that he carried me--bridal-style, somehow supporting all of my weight on just his forearms, so I wouldn't feel the rocking motion of his walking. All one hundred and ten pounds, somehow...with a strange amount of strength.

_It doesn't matter_, I told myself. _Forget him_. _Don't dream of him_. _Don't remember that rush of joy that fills every part of you_--_from the tips of your fingers to your_ _toes_, _to every beat of your heart_, _to every fibre in your being_--_whenever you see him, or think of him_. _Don't think about him_. _Don't try to go near him again_.

But there was nothing more terrifying than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility.

The clock read 5:00 AM. It was a ridiculous time. I wanted it to be--at the very least--an hour later. I could do to the cemetery at 6:00 Am, right?

I waited the full hour, checking every five minutes to see if the seconds had miraculously ticked away without my knowing. They never did. Each second crept by with exaggerated slowness. It was irritating, and I was so easily irritated in the wee hours of the morning. It only served to infuriate me. But I was determined. I didn't get out of bed until exactly 6:00 AM. I stared at the clock at 5:56 until--excruciatingly, slowly--the last minute fell from the blue numbers.

6:00 AM. I leaped from bed. I got dressed--wearing a long black skirt and a plain bright blue T-shirt. I skipped steps as I went down the stairs. I shoveled breakfast into my mouth--toast and apple jam--and had it sticking half-out of my mouth when I raced upstairs again to grab the same book I had had with me yesterday. I grabbed another ruffled tulip. I wrote up a note to leave, just in case Renee got too worried. She would worry anyways, but at least she wouldn't ground me when I got back as long as she found the note.

6:30 AM. I was out the door, sprinting at top speeds toward the cemetery. I stopped, realizing how foolish I was. Running to meet Edward Cullen at 6:30 Am in the cemetery with a ruffled tulip and an Anne Rice novel? Ludicrous. I walked. I walked very, very fast.

I scanned the cemetery, and relief washed over me when I saw him look up. I blushed scarlet, glanced away. I frowned, embarrased by how the very sight of him both excited me and calmed me. Why should knowing that I could see him bring relief? I should be able to live without him. I had only met with him twice! He shouldn't be that important to me.

I knew that wasn't the truth though. I felt I knew him. I knew him because of my dreams.

"Here again I see," I said in greeting. I tried to sound friendly, but my words came out icy.

"So are you," he countered. His voice held the grace that his eyes did not. His voice hid his temper, coming off perfectly at ease. His eyes mocked me, as if he knew what I was thinking.

"It's a free country," I retorted. "I have a right."

"As do I," he smirked. Crooked smile. My heart melted. It skipped a dozen or so beats in between it's new, rushing speed. My mouth hung open for a fraction of a second, long enough for him to see it. Long enough for his eyes to catch my faltered guard and look away, knowing that I was looking for something deeper than what he wanted. Somehow, he knew. I wondered if every girl stared at him that way...

I shut my mouth and cursed my reddened face. I lay the ruffled tulip on my sister's grave. I realized that I had two. Mistakenly, I had taken two and not noticed. I shot Bella Swan's grave a weary-eyed look. Bella, the girl who was wonderful. The girl everyone loved and remembered. I didn't pity her. I wished I was her. Even being dead--loved when dead--had to be better than just being her copy.

I placed the second flower delicately on her grave, side-stepping in front of Edward to do so. I watched as a slight breeze ruffled the already ruffled snow-white petals. The grass twisted stiffly, until the wind slowed. It had cooled my cheeks, and I was thankful that my face was probably nearing normal colour. The wind stopped shortly after a couple minutes, barely a whisper of the soft, cool breeze it had been.

I mistakenly looked at Edward. His expression was so perplexed, so intrigued, attempting to pry my thoughts from my head, discover why I would take such action. I could tell what he was thinking. Why would she do that? Did she intentionally bring a second flower? Did she come here to meet me again? Is she truly only here for her sister's sake? Why does she choose to lay a flower on the grave of Bella Swan now? Why this, why now? All questions I was asking myself.

Why? Because. There was no reason. Intentionally? No, it was just a mistake. And yes, I did come to meet him here. I wished it was for Issie's sake only, to remember her. I was here for her, but also for him. Bella Swan was an after-thought, the remainder of the constant echo in my head. Bella Swan was always there, reminding me of my fate in Forks. Of my fate in my family. Phil didn't see me that way. But I was sure Renee did. I wouldn't be surprised if Charlie did as well. There was no reason. It just was the way it was.

"You said you would remind me," he interjected, ruining my train of thought.

"Of what?"

"Your name."

"Bel--Stephanie Dwyer," I answered.

"What name were you going to give me before your real name?"  
"It doesn't matter."  
"What was the name?"  
"Never mind."  
"Why won't you tell me?"

"Why are you so persistent?" I growled.

I stared up into his face, regretting it instantly. His topaz eyes smoldered at me. I had no clue how he did it--but there it was! I was hypnotized by the enticing colour, by the depth. I was melting in the golden hue, lost to whatever thoughts took over me. Mostly, I imagined just staring up forever into his eyes. But other than that, I imagined kissing him. Other than that, I imagined his eyes changing colour, darkening--slowly at first--to coal black. But the topaz stayed. I stayed still.

"Please tell me," he begged.

"Tell...what?" I had forgotten that I had a voice, that he had a question, that I had to breath.

"What name were you going to give me instead of yours?" he repeated.

"Bella," I answered simply.

"Why?"

"Because of my dreams," I responded dumbly. "I'm always Bella in my dreams. No one calls my by my real name."

"Dreams?" he asked. His brow furrowed. "The lullaby, did you hear it in one of these dreams?"

I gasped. "You remember that?" He didn't answer, he was waiting. "Yes, I heard the lullaby in a dream, right before that day I heard you humming it. It was so beautiful--except--in my dream--you were playing it on the piano--in this beautiful white house--a place I've never been."

His emotions flashed through his eyes. He looked as confused as I was by the end. "You dreamt of me?"

"I always dream of you," I told him, incapable of lying.

He stepped backward. I hadn't noticed before, but we had gotten closer. My heart raced at that realization. He stared at me, as if he could hear my heart speed up. He looked drained, tired, but hopeful.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm a bad liar. I didn't want to even try."

"_If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it_."

"What?"

Edward raised a brow and frowned. "I didn't say anything."

"No, you said 'If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it'," I repeated. I wasn't confident that he had said it. I just knew his voice had said it, and I had heard it.

"Bel--Stephanie, I didn't say anything," he assured me. Worry covered both our faces.

"Even in reality, it seems, I am not me," I cried. "You see me as someone I am not, as do I, as does the world. I am nothing but a copy of an original. A futile mimicry."

"What do you mean?"

I closed my eyes and allowed another streak of tears to fall. "I have to make-up for the lost daughter, Bella Swan. My dreams tell me that I have to be Bella Swan. I start introducing myself as Bella Swan. You almost called me Bella Swan. I'm not _me_ anymore!"

"You're not Bella," he growled.

I jumped backward. "No, I'm not. But I have to be, for the sake of everyone else."

His expression softened. "You don't have to pretend. No one is asking that of you. Renee wouldn't do that."

"You know Renee somehow," I laugh, nearing hysterics. "I have no idea how. But you're right--she wouldn't ask. She just likes to compare me to Bella all the time. Just as Issie was compared to Bella." I glared at the gravestone next to Issie's. "When I was younger, I got so confused as to why I was always called Bella. Issie got confused too. For two years of our life, before I turned six, we referred to ourselves as Bella Two and Bella Three behind Renee's backs. It was the only game we ever played regretfully."

"That's not you mother's fault," Edward insisted. "Bella...died...it was hard." Pain, horrible deafening pain, spread across his face. His face fell and he closed his eyes, as if that would block out the hurt.

"Issie died too," I reminded him. "Bella Two died. I am now Bella Three, the next on the list to die in Forks." My throat hurt, and I realized that I was shouting. I looked away. "I'm sorry," I apologized, voice low. "They say time heals all wounds, but there's still this horrible hole in my chest. It won't heal. I was getting close."

"_Are you alright_?"  
"_No. I want to die_."  
"_That will never happen. I won't allow it_."

"Ugh! Why is it that whenever I think of you, these strange things keep popping into my head!" I shouted, jumping backward.

"You heard something again?"

"Yes," I answered through clenched teeth. "I'm crazy, happy to hear that are you? I'm just some girl that was supposed to replace Bella Swan. I'm a _nothing_!"

"You're not a replacement, you're you," he told me. He was closer to me again. There was a pain in his eyes. Comforting me was hurting him.

"I'm not worried about hurting myself, it's that..." I closed my eyes and breathed, in and out, calming myself. "When I don't try to pretend, I fall apart. I have no one to confide in anymore. Issie was my only real friend. Issie was the only real person I could trust." I opened my eyes and smiled. "Except for Jacob," I laughed, still teary-eyed. "But that doesn't count."

"Jacob?"

"My imaginary friend," I said. "I had him around probably since I had an imagination--maybe since I was born." I laughed again, sounding more like crying than laughing. "I know it's crazy, but he could turn into a werewolf too. He was fun. I tried to introduce him to Issie, but she hated werewolves. He shows up in my dreams too...but that was after you left..."

"You were dreaming of me," he stated simply. "But after you didn't see me anymore, you started dreaming about your imaginary friend?"

"No, after you left in my dreams," I corrected. "You said it was for my--for Bella's--own good. She'd be safer. Then you said I--she--was no good for you. I got lost that night...Sam found me." I recalled the dream from last night. I remembered having it before...the week after I didn't see Edward anymore. The week after I thought that he might not be coming back.

"Sam?" Edward's eyes widened.

"Yeah. I was a zombie in my dreams for a while--not literally," I assured him. "Just, didn't do much, except cry."

"Stephanie Dwyer," he said.

"Yes?"

"Does this mean anything to you?" he asked. He opened his hand, and there, straight out of my dreams, was the bracelet.

"How is it you have that?" I gasped. I stared at it, bringing my face closer and closer to it. "The little wolf...Jacob," I muttered, stroking the figurine with my finger. Edward's hand remained statuesque, unmoving, but I could see that he didn't like me touching it. He regarded it with an air that it was precious--which to me, it was. "The heart...you said it was like yours...I can't remember why. I only remember that it sparkles in the sun. I don't know what it means."

My finger slipped from inspecting the heart, and brushed his hand. It was ice under my touch. He moved away, but I didn't. My hand remained paused in mid-air. The current of electricity that had flowed through me to him had confirmed it.

I had fallen in love with Edward Cullen, the boy literally out of my dreams.

"Edward Cullen?"

"Yes?"

"How long have you been seventeen?" I asked again.

"I told you, a while."

"You were born in Chicago...but when?"

He was speechless.

"How is it," I wondered, straightening up from my awkward bent over position. "How is it that you remained seventeen for eighteen years?" I clutched my book to my chest. "What possible way is there to never age?"

I closed my eyes. Another vision hit me--another memory. It was someplace I had never been, the place where I had met the young Jacob Black. He lunged from the forest line, after warning me. Edward was there. Edward beckoned me. Edward wanted me. Jacob's story was true.

I laughed uncontrollably. "Wow, ironic," I smirked.

"What's ironic?" Edward asked wearily.

"I'm reading Anne Rice's _Interview With A Vampire_," I told him.

Understanding flashed over his eyes, but he played dumb. "And?"

"_And_," I explained. "I'm interviewing a vampire. The only possible way to explain the fact that you never aged. Your a 'cold one', right?" He didn't respond. "Maybe that's why I've been having all these dreams. They've all lead me to this--so I wouldn't be afraid when I found out."

"Found what out?" he probed. "You can't honestly believe that I'm a vampire, can you?"

"I can," I answered. "But...I don't understand...why no fangs?"

"You're obviously very tired," he said, attempting to change the subject. "Your sister's death is finally taking it's toll on you. You should go home, get some rest, sleep."

I smiled fiendishly. "Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours," I recited. His eyes were wider than before. He was completely still, a perfect marble statue. "Edward, tell me how I know that. Tell me that you're not a vampire. Go ahead, explain it all to me rationally."

"You're insane, that's the only explanation," he stated simply. He then turned on his heels and began to walk away.

"Alice, who is she?" I asked, losing all wicked thoughts and becoming desperate. "Please tell me!"

He stopped. "Alice Cullen is my sister."

I scanned my eyes over Bella Swan's gravestone, and then looked past it to where Edward was standing, his back to me. "Do you have other siblings? Brothers, maybe? Another sister?"

"Yes."

"You're not going to give me their names?"

"I don't know you," he snarled, springing around to face me. His topaz eyes shot in front of me, freezing me where I stood. He was suddenly right in front of me. "You don't know me. Why should I?"

I blinked, and he was gone.

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Revolation

"But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life; and thanks to a benevolent arrangement of things, the greatest part of life is sunshine." - Thomas Jefferson

* * *

Exams would be over tomorrow. It was Wednesday afternoon. I had just arrived home from writing the Math Pure 30 exam when the answering machine kicked in and I heard Renee's voice. She was apologizing frantically. Phil was hurt. Phil had been in a car crash. He had been hit by a transport truck. She said that she was in Jacksonville's hospital already. She had called me to make sure that I was alright. She had called to tell me not to come until Saturday.

Renee assured me that Phil was going to be fine, but he wouldn't be awake for another week. There was no use in spending money for an airplane to take me there just to watch him sleep when I had another exam. There was no use coming right away because someone had to take care of the house, eat of all the food, and...No, there wasn't enough reasons. I had to stay though. I had to stay at least until Friday. If I could make arrangements, I could be in Jacksonville by Friday night. All I had to do was write my final exam--Biology--maybe get some sleep that night, drive to the city, take a plane, and I was there. Maybe I could be there sooner.

"No, please," Renee insisted. (I had called her right away on her cellphone. She was in Phil's room. He was alive but unconscious.) "Stay there. I made plans...for your birthday. I reserved a time at a fancy restaurant--for just the two of us--for your birthday. You should stay. Invite Catlin or one of your other friends. Find someone else to go with, and then come Saturday. Please, Bella," she begged. "Go with a friend. Have fun. It's for your birthday. Phil would want that...and Is, her too. So go, I have it written down."

I didn't want to agree. I wasn't into to whole 'birthday' thing. I didn't like being celebrated when tragedy had struck. There was no need to be overly happy when Phil was hurt, unconscious and--as much as I hated to admit this to myself--I hadn't seen Edward since Sunday. I knew it was silly, that of all the things to stress over, not seeing him was back at the top of my list. I had upset him, and he hadn't come back. I was foolish for thinking that our standing date--butterflies flooded my stomach on that word, date--would continue after I had made him angry. I was also foolish for placing that on equal ground with my father's injuries.

"I'll find someone to go," I promised. "I'll go, Mom."

"Good," she sighed. Relief was strewn into her tone. I was happy to provide some happiness to her. "You have fun. I'll take care of Phil until you get here. I promise! I love you, bye!"

"I love you, bye, Mom," I mumbled. I didn't want to say goodbye. I wanted to say "I love you, Mom, see you after a very short plane ride!", but I couldn't. I was stuck. I was forced into celebrating my eighteenth birthday. Yippee.

* * *

It was stupid. But I often did stupid things. This was probably the most hopeless cause in the history of the human race. But, I was going to go again. I went the day after, Monday, after my first exam. He hadn't been there. Maybe he had, but not while I was there. I gave up then. I didn't go Tuesday. I had managed to keep my thoughts--mostly--away from him all day. I had skipped a day. That was a long enough wait. Besides, if I saw him, I wouldn't worry. And maybe I could ask him to to ask for Carlisle on my behalf. He could help Phil make a speedy recovery.

I sighed. Another name pulled from out of thin air. I had no clue who Carlisle was. I just knew that he was a doctor. Maybe I had been in a lot of hospitals in a past life. So much in fact, that I had picked up the name of a good doctor. It was possible. If I was any klutzier than I was in my present life, it was all too probable that my past life and wandered into the hospital with something new injured every day.

I laughed at the thought. My religion didn't support the theory of past lives, yet, I was always interested in the concept. I felt that my past was beyond my almost-eighteen years. Renee's sci-fi addiction had influenced me. I was crazy, perhaps in the literal sense of the word.

I glared upward, directing my eyes to below the sun. I knew staring at the sun directly was a bad idea. So, I wasn't leaving it to chance. The horrid, hot sun wouldn't blind me. I was just going to me angry with it for melting the skin from my face. It was hot--very, _very_hot. It was bright. I didn't like how bright. I preferred moonlight over sunlight. The moon, at least, couldn't blind you.

No one was there. It was the worst mistake I had ever made. I had hoped. Hope was dangerous. Why had I allowed myself to hope? Because it was him. I needed hope when it came to him. I needed answers from him...to know that he had answers to why I was dreaming of things of another life. I was a clone out of one of Renee's sci-fi favourites. Just like the book she had been telling me about that one time, about people remembering someone else's life. I was remembering someone else's life. Whose life? I wasn't completely sure, but it was probably Bella Swan's life. How? I didn't know. But I hoped--dangerously, sorrowfully, expectantly hoped--that Edward Cullen was the answer to why I was seeing flashes of memories from Bella Swan's life.

It made sense. Edward Cullen was a vampire. Edward Cullen was the very same Edward Cullen that was going to marry Bella Swan. Edward Cullen was visiting the grave of Bella Swan because he had loved her, and loved her still. I was seeing flashes more clearly when I was around him because he was the trigger. I had a feeling that my double life was thanks to him.

Maybe Bella Swan, dead since I was born, was reaching out to him through me. Was that possible? I wasn't sure. But maybe she loved him as much as he loved her. Maybe death couldn't stop love. If that was true, then wasn't it completely reasonable to think that I was her way of reaching out to her one true love? It was an explanation--not the only one, craziness was another option. Nonetheless, Edward Cullen was in love with Bella Swan. Bella Swan had been in love with him.

And I was undeniably and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen. There was no turning back. I was hooked.

I gasped and leaped backward when I glanced sideways at Bella Swan's grave. Edward Cullen was standing there.

"H-how did y-you...?" I stuttered. "That's not...but it is..._possible_."

He didn't even look at me.

"Are you going back to ignoring me?" I asked, bitterly in an angered tone.

He turned around. He stared. His eyes weren't cold. They were warm, like golden sunshine--no, not sunshine. I was blinded by him, yes, but not like that. His eyes were more honey-coloured, darker than topaz, but still with that light tone. His expression was soft, forgiving.

"Please, don't ignore me," I begged. "I didn't mean to be rude. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he said. "Sometimes...sometimes I have trouble--"

"With my temper, Bella," I interrupted. "I've heard that before...after you saved me--her--from those...creeps. I think they might have been about to rape me--her--or something."

He was, once again, shocked by what I said. I was beginning to trust that my theory was right. I was seeing memories of Bella's life.

"You see all this in dreams?" he recalled. I nodded. "Interesting imagination."

"It's not made-up!" I shouted. "I know this has to be some past-life or some conspiracy!"

"Conspiracy?" he mocked. "Does that go along with your vampire-theory as well?"

"Yes." I glowered at him. "I don't know how or why, but you and I both know exactly who you are."

"Who?" he mused. "Don't you mean 'what'?"

"Why would I say that?" I furrowed my brow in confusion of his choice word.

"If I am--as you say--a vampire, I would be a what, a monster, wouldn't I?" He cocked a brow. He was mocking me still.

"No," I corrected. "Besides, I was talking about your name. You should have told me that your last name was Mason, not Cullen. It's too late now, though. I know very clearly who you are."

He narrowed his eyes. "Who am I, Stephanie Dwyer?"

"You are Edward Cullen, of course," I answered. "Vampire and man in love with Bella Swan."

His eyes closed, hiding the sadness. I had hit a cord, touched the core. I struck right. With a reaction like that, I had to be right.

"I am none of those things," he argued. "I am simply someone who knew her...through...family."

"Ha!" I snorted. He glared at me, partially stunned. "Alice, you mean? Edward, I know you better than that. By now, you should know that I can see right through you."

"By now? We've met three times," he reminded me.

"Edward," I said carefully, slowly. "For the past two years of my life, I have dreamed of you every night. I have dreamed of talking to you--only I wasn't me. I saw through the eyes of Bella Swan and I know every thing about you. You may not think that you know me either, but that isn't true. Edward, as much as I and you and whoever else there is in this world...doesn't want to admit, I am exactly like Bella Swan. I can't help it. Neither can you." I heard a low snarl start up in Edward's throat. "If you're trying to scare me, you should know that it won't work. I've seen you behead Victoria, I think I can handle a little growl here and there." The snarl stopped. Again, he was stunned. "Edward," I whispered softly, taking a step toward him. "I have a feeling that there is a reason that I am so much like Bella, why I dream of her life--of you."

"A reason?" His velvety voice was rough, worn. He made no move to step away.

"I don't know the reason," I frowned. "I need you help for that. Maybe Alice can help--her visions--they could see something, give me a clue." His gold-eyes drifted, falling, settling on Bella's grave stone. "Edward, there's no soul there," I told him. "Bella isn't there, under the ground. What you loved about Bella isn't in the ground." His eyes shot up to meet mine. "I know because of the way you look at me--I mean--Bella, in my dreams--when I'm her--I can see the way you see her. It's her soul. And that isn't there." I swallowed hard. I had a decision to make. It was going to be a lie, no matter how true it now felt to me, as long as I didn't have hard facts, it was a stretch of the truth--a lie. I was no good at lying. I took his hand. I was surprised that he didn't flinch away. "Edward," I whispered, quieter this time. "Her soul isn't there." I took his hand and placed it over my chest, my heart. "It's here."

For a second, it looked like he stepped closer, like he was ready to approach me. Then, his eyes caught the gravestone again and he was far, far away, across the cemetery. I felt only a small wind bash into me upon his depparture. He was back again, walking slowly toward me, within a few minutes.

"You're not Bella," Edward said. He didn't appear entirely convinced. He wanted to believe that Bella was alive. I wasn't going to deny it.

"Edward, just help me," I begged. "I'm not asking for much--just help. Call Alice, tell her to look into my future, check Bella's future again. Maybe Bella isn't dead and I am here to help you find her! That's possible, isn't it?" No, it wasn't. Bella was dead--but I was willing to try anything.

"Bella...isn't alive." His voice broke after saying her name. He didn't believe me. I was a horrible liar.

"There is a reason though!" I insisted, stepping closer to close the distance between us. "Edward, please, be my friend if nothing more. Help me, as a friend. I've gotten to know you for two years now. I swear you can trust me--with everything, anything."

His resolve was lost. His eyes showed me, when he looked at me, even though he stepped back, that he could trust me.

My hands were shaking. I tried to steady them. I clasped my hands together. The shaking slowed. I was afraid--could he say no? Would I go another day worrying I would never see him again? Would I be left alone--Issie gone, Phil injured someplace far, far away? I wouldn't be able to live like that.

"..._I want to die_."  
"_That will never happen_. _I won't allow it_."

"Edward?"

He sighed heavily. "Why?" he asked, not to anyone is particular.

"Because," I said, finding only lame excuses. "Because I have no life, only hers." I stared, blinded by tears, at Bella's grave. "I want to move on. These dreams keep haunting me. I think there's something I have to do--something to do with you--or your family--before I can live my own life." I blinked away tears and looked up, pleadingly, into his eyes. "I need your help, please."

He closed his eyes.

"Edward, please," I begged.

"How is it you can sound like her as well?" he mumbled, his velvety voice strained. "How is it you can look like her? Smell like her? Be so much...like _her_..."

"Edward?" I had to try one more time. "You were going to marry her, right?" He opened his eyes, shock dawning his eyes again. "If not for me, then for her. I think there's something I have to do for her. I think that's why...that's the reason behind all the flashbacks...the dreams...these feelings." I stepped closer to him, feeling his presence. It was amazing. It felt so right. "Please, Edward, help me."

Hesitantly, his hand came upward. He stroked my cheek, and the shock in his eyes increased. It wasn't the horrified shock of before, it was more like thanks--like he had been waiting for Bella to come back to him, and I was the answer to that.

"Yes, Stephanie, I am a vampire," he whispered. "I have been seventeen for a very long time. I will be your friend. I have many things to share with you, if you'll let me."

"Please do," I smiled. "Can we go home first--your home? It's nicer there. Did you bring the Volvo?"

* * *

**Please REVIEW! Let me know if things are going too quick. I'm trying, but it's hard. I want to get to the good stuff, but I have to get past the set-up before I get to the BANG, if you get what I mean. So again, if it's going to fast, remind me IN A REVIEW to take is slower. Thanks to you.**

I know it's a bit shorter, especially when compared to that last one, but I hope you liked it!


	4. Chapter 4: Volvo

"We are all subject to the fates. But we must all act as if we are not," said the witch, "or die of despair." ...  
... "...she is destined to bring about the end of destiny. But she must do so without knowing what she is doing, as if it were her nature and not her destiny to do it. If she's told what she must do, it will all fail; death will sweep through all the worlds; it will be the triumph of despair, forever. The universes will become nothing more than interlocking machines, blind and empty of thought, feeling, life..." - (His Dark Materials Book 1) The Golden Compass, Philip Pullman

* * *

I was bleeding, heavily. I was dying, quickly. There was no hope now. Every thing I had ever wanted, I was losing.

The few rays of light touched my skin, but I was already too hot with fever to feel the heat of the light. I blinked back tears as the light blinded me. It was dark all except for those blinding rays. I wished they would go away. They were teasing me, telling me that they were the last lights I would ever see.

Where was Edward? He couldn't have been delayed that long, could he? He was always there for me, promised me he would never leave. I believed him. But now, since he was gone, that must mean that he was in danger. If I had to die, at least he would be alive.

I rolled over on my stomach. I crawled--fingers digging into the rumble, scratching away to gain some hold to pull myself forward with. I found something, I dragged my body forward, embracing the sting and the numbness in my body the further I moved. I only had one arm working--the other was horribly bent in three pieces, which not only hurt but looked odd as well--so I had to use it to support all my weight. I must have moved three feet--through slow, painful lurches forward, fingernails bloodied from dragging my weight--when the crashing reached me.

I barely saw the flashes of speeding bodies. I saw not he was winning, only that bones were crunching, more rumble was tumbling over my head. I knew Edward was one of the fighting figures, but I couldn't tell which one. My human eyes were slow, they couldn't see enough to tell what was going on.

Part of me had on blind faith that Edward would win. He was fast--faster than his enemy--but he was distracted. I was bleeding on the ground and he was trying to keep more flying rock from hitting me all while keeping the rogue vampire off me. If I kept distracting him, he may not survive. I thought about just killing myself, but that would only serve to distract him more. Bad plan. My mind was too unfocused for thinking. I had to wait. I had to wait and hope that, at the very least, Edward would survive.

Even when--not if, I refused to think if--Edward won, he wouldn't be able to save me. I was beyond his abilities. Edward, I recalled, knew almost as much as Carlisle in his field of work. Except, Edward wasn't as skilled at saving human lives as Carlisle was. If Carlisle could reach me in time, he could save me. He could stitch up my wounds and stop the bleeding--_if_ he got here soon. If it was a few more minutes, then I would be lost forever. I would die.

My family that I loved so dearly were being ruined because of me. Alice couldn't save me, neither could Jasper. They were being tortured brutally and it was all my fault. They would be okay, later, but not in time to save me. Not in time to change me either. Esme..I couldn't even picture her. How could I imagine the face of my second mother battling away for my life? Rosalie also, I couldn't picture. We had settled our differences and were just beginning to reach some common ground when she was suddenly forced into risking her life for me. Emmett I was certain was enjoying the fighting, but he had to worry over Rosalie and his family too. No one was happy with what was happening. And, once again, it was all my fault. They were risking every thing for someone who couldn't be saved.

From what I had learned about the specific process of the three-day-change was that it hurt, a lot. Another thing I knew was that not everyone survived it. Being in top physical condition helped. It wasn't necessary, but the chances of living through the pain of the fire in your veins was unlikely when you were already injured. Maybe if Edward bit me now I could make it. But, if I lost anymore blood, I wouldn't.

Why was it that I continued to attract the interest of sadistic vampires? I really was a trouble magnet.

* * *

The sun was still in the sky, bright, as it was only three o'clock PM. I nearly killed over, gasping, when I saw the speed of Edward's Volvo.

"Are you crazy!?" I gasped. "Holy crow! Slow down! You're going to kills us--or me, at least. _Slow down_."

"Why?" he asked.

"You're going a hundred miles an hour!" I said, panicking less as...

..._the needle gradually drifted toward eighty_. "_Happy_?"  
"_Almost_."  
"_I hate driving slow_," _he muttered_.  
"_This is slow_?"  
"_Enough commentary on my driving_,"_ he snapped_. "_I'm still waiting for your latest theory_."

Then he laughed, ancient sadness in his eyes. The speed meter's dial fell. It was now at 80 instead of 100. "Is that better?"

"What's wrong with even slower?" I suggested. "Let me guess, driving an 80 is too slow for you? Edward, I think you need to check speed limit signs every so often. You are way over the limit."

He opened his mouth to speak, but closed again after re-thinking his words. I could imagine his argument. Eighty was too slow. He hated driving slow. That sounded like something he would say. The needle fell to seventy. I noticed that he wasn't grumbling anymore or protesting. It was almost as if--at the same time that I was sent back into a flashback of one of my dreams--he had seen the same thing I had seen. Or maybe he had a really good memory. It was possible. He had remembered our conversation from two years ago.

"I can't believe you have this," I whispered, half hoping he wouldn't hear me, admiring the classy Volvo. "I can't believe...this..."--I shot Edward a glance, and blushed, looking away--"...is happening, especially after so long..._waiting_."

He didn't speak. I saw a crooked smile creep onto his flawless lips after a few minutes. I hoped he couldn't tell how I couldn't keep my eyes off him--and wouldn't want to if I could. My heart was racing, and it spiked further when his eyes met mine. I was only slightly concerned for my safety--what with his eyes not being on the road--but more concerned for my heart. If it raced any faster it might just stop altogether. That would be bad.

"Maybe you should keep your eyes on the road," I suggested.

"I've never been in an accident, Bella--I've never even gotten a ticket." He grinned, remembering something else.

I closed my eyes. He had turned away to face the road. He had heard his mistake, how his tongue betrayed him. I didn't mind so much. I was getting used to it...sort of.

Another dream came back to me, one from just last year, before my seventeenth birthday.

"_Let's say_, _hypothetically of course_, _that_..._someone_..._could know what people are thinking_, _read minds_, _you know_--_with a few exceptions_."  
"_Just on exception_," _he corrected_, "_hypothetically_."  
"_All right_, _with one exception then_." I felt..._thrilled_. He was _playing along_. I was excited, but I tried to sound..._casual_.  
"_How does that work_? _What are the limitations_? _How would_..._that someone_..._find someone else at exactly the right time_? _How would he know she was in_ _trouble_?"  
"_Hypothetically_?" _he asked_.  
"_Sure_."  
"_Well_, _if_..._that someone_..."  
"_Let's call him_ '_Joe_'," _I suggested_.  
_He smiled wryly_. "_Joe_, _then_..."

"Built-in radar detector," I muttered. He heard.

"Why would you say that?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "Edward, I've seen a lot of things, but usually I forget them instantly. Some things stick better than others. Little things or important things. Some important things slip away...but sometimes they don't. I wish I could pick and chose, but I can't. I can only say whatever comes to mind. Right now, 'built-in radar detector' seemed right to say in the moment."

"It was right to say, in the moment," he said. "Because it's already happened before, over eighteen years ago."

"How long did you know Bella?" I asked. "I mean..." I took in his depressed eyes and tried to modify my intense question. "Never mind. You promised to tell me a bit about yourself. Please do." I smiled at him in a way that I hoped was encouraging. I probably looked more nervous.

"Your heart is racing right now," he said. "Are you afraid of me or something else?"

"Not afraid, nervous," I corrected. "You make me...nervous." I didn't like being so honest. My face got redder with every word I said.

"Why?" he wondered.

"Same reason...as Bella," I said. "She blushed a lot too, didn't she?" His eyes stayed on me, scrutinizing me. "She didn't like it--blushing--but after a long time with you...seeing you smile when my face went red...it wasn't so bad."

"I see," he mumbled grimly.

He was uncomfortable with me referring to myself as Bella. I would have apologized, but it felt right now--as strange as it was--to call myself Bella. I didn't like my name anyways. I always thought that any other name would do.

"I wish I could know if that was true," he sighed, his eyes not watching the road, but seeing something from far away, long ago. "I wish a lot these days. I wish without hope."

"There's reason to hope," I assured him. "That's why I'm here." I bobbed my head up and down. "I'm here for you and only you. I'm here to be your hope. And maybe...," I smiled, shooting him a shy glance. "Maybe you can help me hope as well."

"Maybe." He didn't look at me, but I was sure that he had caught my eyes on him.

I stared out the window. It was still bright. I wondered how much farther the Cullen's house was. I remembered a big white house, and I remembered windows. Nothing else came to mind...except the piano.

"Is the piano there still?" I piped up, straightening in the seat.

"Yes," he answered cautiously. "Only I live there now. I had to stay...for...her."

I nodded, slowly. "I'm sure she sees your effort, Edward. It's probably agonizing for her."

"What?" His head snapped around. "Agonizing?"

"You don't look happy," I explained, suddenly breathless--shock, from his quick movement. "It's painful to watch. You should smile. I want to see your smile." I blushed again. "I mean, Bella does--Bella loved your smile."

He thought about that. He smiled crookedly. "Sometimes I wonder if you're making it up, but then little things you say make sense," he chuckled. "How can I not believe you? You make it very hard not to trust you."

"Good, I want you to trust me." I want you to love me, but that will take a back seat to having your company. You companionship and your smile. That's what I need to live. The rest will come in time or not at all.

I shot another sky glance. He caught it. He stared.

"How exactly could you tell that my heart was speeding?" I asked, dodging a confrontation or any unwanted silence. "Super-hearing, Joe?"

"Joe?"

"Never mind, think of it as a nickname." That was a stupid cover, but I had nothing else. "Answer the question," I ordered. "Please."

He rolled his eyes. "Sure, super-hearing."

"Awesome!" I cheered. "Now, about fangs...?"

"_Like I haven't heard _that_ one before_!"

"Never mind again," I sighed. "I already know the answer again. No fangs. No turning into a bat." I bit my lip and shrugged my way closer to the window. It was cold, suddenly. It was summer, but I felt as though I was wrapped in ice. "So, no coffins?" I laughed. "No killer-holy-crosses and such, no holy water. Stakes in the heart would be silly..."--Edward raised a brow to question me--"...because your heart doesn't beat, does it?" He looked away, answering 'yes' silently. "No burning in daylight either."

_Our meadow_.

"Show me that one day," I begged softly. The Volvo turned on a strange new path, off the highway. The speed slowed. "Show me that again," I continued. "In our place--the meadow."

All motion stopped. I was startled. I stupidly checked out the window first for the cause of our stop. Of course, I saw nothing. My eyes passed over the dashboard--it was twenty minutes past four o'clock--on my way to Edward. I saw his hands first, clenched tightly around the steering wheel. I noticed that he wasn't nearly as skinny as I had originally thought. He had formed, hard muscles under his marble skin. His sleeves were pushed back to above his forearm. I blinked, and looked blindly, admiring how much more there was to Edward Cullen. I could see the tendons in his hands showing off their fury--he was angry.

His eyes--narrowed, still that darker gold shade--pierced at me. I gulped. I felt faint. I was a little bit afraid--knowing that he was a vampire that could easily kill me--and my discovery that he had a toned body only served to ensure that, more than likely, he could crush me if he wanted to.

"_As if you could outrun me_," _he laughed bitterly_.  
_He reached up with one hand and_, _with a deafening crack_, _effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce_. He _balanced it in that hand for a moment_, _and then threw it with blinding speed_, _shattering it against another huge tree_, _which shook and trembled at the blow_.  
_And he was in front of me again_--in front of her--_standing two feet away_, _still as stone_.  
"_As if you could fight me off_," _he said gently_.  
_I sat_--Bella sat--_without moving_, _more frightened of him than I had ever been_. I felt her terror, my terror. But it wasn't all for my own life, but for something else..._I'd never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultivated facade_. _He'd never been less human_..._or more beautiful_. _Face ashen_, _eyes wide_, _I sat like a bird locked in the eyes of a snake_. There was no escape for me.  
_His lovely eyes seemed to glow with rash excitement_. _Then, as the seconds passed, they dimmed_.

I then took a second to study what exactly he was glaring at. It wasn't me. He was looking right through me, to where he hoped Bella was. He wasn't angry with her either. He was angry with himself. Why? I was going to ask.

"Edward?" My voice was weak, low, shaky. It wasn't only my colliding visions of him--sparkling with diamond-encrusted skin with a furious expression and his glaring, hard stare as he gripped the steering wheel tight enough that it might break--that had my voice shaking. I was worried for him. "What's wrong? Is it something I said?" I asked. He didn't move.

He stayed that way--tensed, glaring--for only another minute. I saw the number change on the dashboard out of the corner of my eye. I studied his face carefully. His expression softened, saddened, changing to despair and...an expression that looked near begging. His angel's face was so torn, weakened, and was about to beg; he was silently pleading for something, a sign maybe, or forgiveness.

"_Don't be afraid_,"_ he murmured_, _his velvet voice unintentionally seductive_. "_I promise_..." _He hesitated_. "_I_ swear _not to hurt you_."

"I can't tell," he whispered, his voice strained. The pain in his voice brought tears in my eyes. "Stephanie Dwyer, that's your name," he said. "But why is it that you know so much about Bella and I. Are you Bella Swan?"

"I wish..," I cried. I bit my lip, unable to finish my sentence. Tears blurred my vision. "I wish," I garbled, losing tone and meaning as my words came. "I wish I was, when you look at me like that. I'm so sorry this is hurting you!"

"Don't apologize," he insisted kindly. "It isn't your fault."

"I should have never asked you!" I sobbed, shouldering slumping and shaking with every new round of streaks of salty water on my cheeks. I tasted it on my lips. There was a lot of them.

"Asked me what?"

"To be my friend--to help me," I answered, crying through my words. "I'm too self-ish. I was forgetting that you lost someone too, and that I wasn't the only one falling apart."

"Bella, you're not falling part." His voice was back to normal, strong again. I was sure that he noticed the mistaken name again. He froze, and that was my sign.

"I am," I argued, hugging my arms around myself and tightly shutting my damp eyes. "Issie died two years ago and it still hurts. My dad is in the hospital, unconscious because of a car accident, and I don't have an identity anymore!"

I heard him mumble "Phil is in the hospital?" in a quiet tone, worried.

I sobbed loudly for only a few more heaving breaths before cold arms wrapped around me to still my shaking body. My heart stopped for a couple beats, and I didn't move. I was crushed into his chest, my arms remaining in hugging-myself formation, pressed into his shirt. My arms loosened from around me and he allowed me to let my arms fall. I skillfully slipped them under his arms and over his back, holding him as tightly as my human strength would allow. I bit my lip as more tears decided to ruin the moment. I held them back for as long as I could.

"If you have to, then cry," he whispered, his voice soothing and unintentionally seductive. "I will do all I can for you. I can be your hope, just as you are mine."

So I did cry. Slower, at first. I cried, staining his shirt with my salted-terrors. He didn't seem to mind. Without wanting too, I fell asleep, still clutching on to him. His cold arms--freezing, hard, inviting strength--stayed, protecting me, even in my dreams. All pleasant dreams, because they were about him.

* * *

**Okay, not the LONG chapter I promised, but that's coming. I wanted to rush this in--with a million little flashbacks here and there--so that the next chapter could be taken slow and actually mean something. Edward is going to explain every thing next chapter, and Steph will meet the Cullens--well, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett at least. I haven't decided on the others yet.  
If you noticed, the top was from Bella's point of view again. I will be continuing to do that, giving small hints of what happened, until Edward confesses the whole truth to Steph. Just a heads up.  
I hope you liked it! This chapter was just trying to show that it's confusing for both of them--Edward and Steph--and that they are torn about how they're feeling. Very, very torn. I mean, Bella died, right? (snicker, snicker.) Maybe.**

That's for me to know, and for you to find out.

**And, by the way, how is the name 'Stephanie' working out? I hope it's not too lame. I couldn't think of anything so I was like "Hey. I'll just use Stephenie Meyer's first name." But that sounded silly. So, I said to myself "I am going to use my own name so that it feels really awkward and I am blushing like a tomato ripe from harvest as I type."  
Actually, it was just the first name I could think of--but the tomato colour really is there. I checked.**

**Thanks for reading! I hope I haven't bored you too much with my blab. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5: Hope

**"The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender." - Emil Ludwiq**

* * *

I smiled when I opened the door to my room. I was always happy to see him, and I always felt relief seeing him there still, every night. It was silly to doubt that he wouldn't be there, and I had given that doubt up a long time ago. I knew he loved me, so he wouldn't leave me. I still worried about other reasons for him not being there; reasons for him not being with me were increasing a lot these days.

"Edward," I whispered, snuggling up next to his cold body and wrapping my arms around him. His arms twisted over my body and I felt a shiver of pleasure run up my spine. I pulled myself as close to him as I could. After the day's events I needed the comfort of being close to him.

"Bella, I promise they won't do anything to harm you," he said, his breath in my hair. "I won't let them touch you. You're safe."

"I know, Edward," I sighed happily. "I know."

"Jane's threats will not come to fruition," he promised; his tone was lethal. "You're safe."

"I know, Edward," I mumbled. I was tired. I already knew that he would protect me. "I believe you, I trust you. Now, as much as I hate to ask this…please, don't speak. I'm _very_ tired. I want sleep, so that I can talk to you nonstop in the morning." He chuckled, his lethal tone relieved. "Besides," I continued, smiling wryly. "This will be one of my last nights sleeping. In just a few days, I'm not going to sleep ever again."

* * *

**Chapter 5: Hope  
**  
The dream I had was dull, and short. It was something I already knew.

"_I was born in Chicago in 1901_." _He paused and glanced at me from the corner of his eyes_. _My face was carefully unsurprised_, _patient for the rest_. _He smiled a tiny smile and continued_. "_Carlisle found me in a hospital in the summer of 1918_. _I was seventeen_, _and dying of the Spanish influenza_."

I had been in the Volvo again. Ah, if only that was real. But that was impossible. I could never be in the silver dream car, never be that close to my dream guy. That was dreaming; that wasn't reality.

I heard voices, and stiffened. I didn't move; I listened.

"It's so strange, seeing her…," a voice was saying. Her tone was soft, sweet, beautiful, and coated with motherly concern and pride.

"See, Edward, this is why you had to stay alive!" said another voice. This one was loud, deep. The room boomed with this person's deep, rich laughter. I loud clapping noise sounded off. It was like the sound one would make if one clapped another person on the back, and then the sound was magnified, as if strewn through loud speakers.

"She looks…a lot like her," said another woman's voice. This voice was younger, sweeter. Her voice was closer. It was also the most reluctant and skeptical; a disapproving voice.

"Edward," the sweet voice continued, ringing like high toned bells. "It's not her though. You know that, right?" There was no answer. "Edward?" The voice had moved farther away from me now, closer to where the other voices were.

"I don't know," he answered. It was Edward; his voice was low, confused, torn.

"Edward, whatever is going on, we'll figure it out together," the motherly voice promised. This voice, too, moved further into the room. "Call Alice," she ordered. "She's been worried about you, and you haven't spoken to her for years. I'm sure she can help."

"I don't want her opinion," Edward barked. "I know exactly what she'll say!"

"She'll say exactly what we're saying!" shouted the sweet voice. "Edward, this isn't her. Bella died, Edward. She can't come back." There was a note of sadness in the sweet voice; the words were regretted even as she spoke them.

"Rosalie," the motherly voice scolded.

"Edward, I'm sorry," the sweet voice—Rosalie—sighed. "Emmett, we should go. Edward obviously doesn't want our company."

"Rose, we can stay a bit longer," Emmett begged. "I want to meet her. I want to see what Edward sees in her. She certainly looks a lot like her, and from what Edward's told us, she is a lot like her."

A lot like her. A lot like her? Bella Swan. They were all talking about Bella Swan.

I straightened up, tiredly opening my eyes. I wondered what time it was. I hoped that Renee wasn't too worried about me. Hopefully it wasn't too late.

I glanced around my surroundings. I gasped. I was in the white house! No, not where the president lived; I was in Cullen's house. I was on the couch. Good, because being in a room other than that would tell me exactly what I meant to him, and I didn't want to waste time analyzing how he felt about me based on where he set me down. Obviously, I had fallen asleep and he had carried me inside.

"Well, she blushes like her," Emmett laughed, booming again.

I put my hand to my cheek. My fingers were cold in comparison to the heat coming from my face. I turned to scowl at whoever had made the comment. I nearly gasped again or screamed out of surprise. I gaped instead.

In the room, standing around Edward, was his family—the ones I had seen in dreams but had long forgotten about. Not everyone was there, but there was enough to give me a hint as to their names.

Rosalie. They had said her name, and I would have recognized her anyways because of her beauty. She had long blonde hair, and a tall, curvaceous body that belonged on a magazine cover—she was flawless. She was in incarnation of beauty—of the Goddess Aphrodite herself. Her eyes were topaz as well, and her skin was the same white-pale tone. She was a vampire, and she was Edward's sister. I couldn't understand why Edward could think someone who looked like me or Bella could ever compare to the beauty that was Rosalie—but he did though. Edward had thought that Bella was beautiful, and still did.

Emmett was the next thing my eyes landed on. There was no way to miss him. He was HUGE. He was all muscle. Maybe in his human life he had been a weightlifter on steroids. He looked unnaturally big—he was probably unnaturally strong as well, even more so than Edward. (I shuddered at that thought.) He was tall as well. He had dark curly hair, and a wonderfully trusting smile. Again, the signs of being a vampire marked him—topaz eyes, white skinned.

Esme; my eyes watered upon seeing her. Why? I wasn't sure. My eyes wandered past her dark brown waves of hair, her motherly face—soft, sweet, gentle—her curved, pretty body and her pale skin. It was her arm that my eyes fell on. I noticed how it was scarred badly just above the elbow. I cried, and couldn't stop myself. It was my fault she had been hurt.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked softly, worriedly.

My lip trembled as I watched their expressions. They were worried about me. It was my fault, and they were worried about me. Even Rosalie's cold expression softened.

"I'm so sorry!" I sobbed, flinging myself at Esme. It was a little overdone, considering she had never met me before, but I knew her, and I knew she wouldn't mind. "I'm sorry! It's my entire fault!"

"What's your fault?" Esme asked, he tone stunned, but curious.

I straightened up, I wiped a few tears from my cheeks, and I looked up into her curious eyes. "You were hurt," I explained. "You all suffered so much, trying to protect me." They gasped, and froze with shock. Edward had been expecting something like that. His expression turned weary. "I'm sorry," I apologized, flustered. "I meant…I'm sorry, again. I get a little mixed up, with Bella and I."

Normally, the right way to correct a mistake like that would be "I meant it was all her fault," but that would sound mean. I couldn't so that. Edward—and the rest of them as well—would hate me. I couldn't have that.

I hung my head and went back to the couch. Curiosity took over and I peeked my head around the room, a relived smile spreading on my lips as the piano caught my eyes. It was in need of dusting, but it was still beautiful to see.

I couldn't help myself. I wandered over to it, lifted the cover over the keys, and began to play.

The first song that came to mind was Bella's lullaby, but I hadn't figured out the notes to that yet. I played another song. Renee said that I had made it up, wrote it, but I knew I hadn't/ It was lovely, soft, sweet, but I couldn't write like that. I had heard it somewhere and just liked it.

I stopped playing and brushed the keys. The piano was sounding right, but there was on key that was out of whack. It needed tuning.

I turned around—smiling—and froze when I saw the widened topaz eyes looking at me, their lips stiff, closed, as if resisting the urge to gape open.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend," I whispered, afraid that I had upset them. "I should have asked, but I couldn't resist. I know that's no excuse, but I've loved pianos ever since I was a child. It's such a beautiful model too." I faced the black top of the piano as I spoke. I tried to decide on what it was. A Grande?—it looked big enough.

"That's my favourite," Esme laughed softly. "I haven't heard it played in so long."

I understood now where I had heard it before. "Did you write it?" I asked, facing Edward.

He nodded. "Did you hear that in one of your dreams?"

"No," I answered slowly. "I can't remember when I first knew it…but I've been playing it ever since I learned piano—when I got good enough—maybe when I was eight or so."

Again, they were shocked by what I was saying. This time, Edward wasn't prepared for that answer. Rosalie looked to Emmett and Emmett to her. Then, they exchanged glances with Esme. They all looked to Edward, but his eyes were on the floor. It took another minute for him to move. His eyes adjusted to the piano, and then to me. I shied away, blushing again.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I should have asked first."

He whispered something softly, his lips moved at incredible speed. His lips paused, and then moved again. It took me a second to realize that he wasn't talking to himself. I noticed Esme's lips moved when Edward's lips paused. Then, Emmett was speaking as well, and Rosalie's lips mouthed something incoherent. They were trying to keep secrets from me.

"I could leave the room," I offered, "if you want to speak privately. I don't mean to intrude or anything."

"No way," Emmett bellowed. "Intrude away! We're happy to have you, right, Rosalie?" She nodded cautiously, her eyes studying me carefully. "Edward?"

I glanced at him. He nodded. His lips formed a small smile, but his eyes were sad.

"Edward, call Alice later," Esme ordered. "Please."

"I will," he promised.

"We'll go now," Esme sighed. She waved Emmett and Rosalie out the door. "But we'll be back," she warned tenderly. "Please, don't disappear on us again."

"I promise I won't." His voice was soft, and clearly intended on keeping that promise.

It was quiet. I looked up, and jumped when Edward was right beside me, his hand on the keys of the piano.

"They left?" I assumed. He nodded. "Where to, anywhere close by?" I oriented myself around him, to face him.

"Denali," he answered. "They were visiting with another vampire clan we know."

"Where is Alice…and…Jasper?" I smiled smugly. I had remembered the name all on my own. I dropped the smile when I noticed Edward's eyes on me. "Sorry," I mumbled. "It's nice to know that I remember names."

The topaz left me and scanned the keys again. "They're in Europe."

"Oh." I had thought they would be with the others. "Where is Carlisle?"

"He's in Africa," Edward replied, sitting suddenly on the piano bench. "He's giving free service, using our own money, to treat those who can't afford. That's where Esme is headed. Their only there for another few months, and then--from what Esme had told me--they're going to Alaska again."

"Makes sense," I frowned. Why was he sitting but not playing? He seemed reluctant to touch the keys. For a wonderful composer like himself, he shouldn't be afraid of his own music.

I regretted playing Esme's favourite. It might have scared him off. Then again, by the sight of dust, I guessed the piano wasn't overused within my absence. Edward hadn't played in a long time.

"Play something," I begged.

"What should I play?" he said, sounding open to any suggestion, but weary.

"It should be obvious," I sighed. I stepped in beside him and my fingers found the note I was looking for.

I played a simpler version, one handed version, of the first section of the lullaby. It wasn't nearly as graceful as I remembered it to be, but it had the same beautified quality. There was little way to mess up a song that wonderfully composed.

"That's what you should play," I suggested with a shrug. "Will you?"

He was hesitant, but long white fingers soon touched the keys. The lullaby began, and in it's extravagant form. I closed my eyes for the first half, smiling, and allowing the notes to draw in hopes. For the second half, I watched his face.

He was settling in. Far from the weary expression now, he was in a place of contentment. His eyes still had the shadows of doubt and despair, but his smile was blithe and he looked ready to heal. Bella's death had taken it's toll, and I wanted to be the stitches, the glue, the one person to save him. If I could.

The tune stopped. I wanted it to continue. No music was played though.

"Thank you," I said. I closed my eyes lightly, drifting in my head from one thought to another. I wanted to say something more, but what was there to say? He wasn't forcing me away, so that was a good sign. I was shocking his family, and that wasn't a good sign. I wondered if I was doing the same to him. If I was shocking him, did that mean that he would push me away?

"I don't understand."

I opened my eyes and pouted. "What don't you understand?" I asked.

"You're you," he explained. "But you know every thing. How is that possible?"

"Said the vampire," I snorted. His face was expressionless. He wasn't in the mood for jokes. "Sorry."

Bad move. I seemed to be rushing in to fast for him. I confronted him, broke in sobs in front of him, and now I was perfectly at ease, joking. I was moving too quickly for someone I had only met four times in real life. I had to remember that he didn't know me that well, and I didn't know him. On the outside, we were practically strangers. Even if I didn't feel that way inwardly; even if I knew that wasn't the truth; that was how he might see it.

"What a stupid lamb," I sighed. His eyes narrowed, and I glanced away to escape his scrutiny. "I mean that I'm making mistakes constantly. I've been misplaced again, haven't I?"

"Misplaced?" His tone was curious, for a reason I couldn't fathom. I sounded like a depressed drone.

"Issie shouldn't have died, I should have," I explained. "She was tough, she could have lived a better life. She could have been herself, not a carbon copy. Me, I should have been the lamb for the slaughter. Issie was strong. I'm weak. It should have been me." I sighed and looked back at him. He obviously didn't agree--his expressionless mask was fading to reveal a combination of concern and outrage. "If it had been me," I continued. "You wouldn't be bothered by me. If it had been me, I'm sure everyone would be better off."

"Don't talk like that," he ordered. "Think of Renee, of Phil. If you start talking like that you'll worry them."

"Right, sure sure," I groaned. "It's A wonderful Life, right?"

"What?" He was perplexed, and I wondered what about my statement had caught him off guard.

"Don't tell me you haven't seen that movie?" I laughed, watching his non-responsive stare. "I was trying to compare--he wished he was never born, right? It's a classic."

"I have seen it," he said finally, shrinking away from the piano, standing, facing me. "And in a way, you're right."

"Edward, may I ask..."

"Ask anything," he smiled crookedly. "I did promise to give you some answers."

"Thanks." I blushed. "I was curious, about while I was...asleep...what were you talking about?" I paused and raised my hands in the air. "If it's okay to ask. If it's private I completely understand."

"You have the right to ask," he told me. "We were talking about you."

"I've made a mess out of your life, haven't I?"

"No, not at all. It was a mess before."

"I'm sorry," I said, hushed and weak. "I know how much it hurts to lose someone, and I can only imagine how much worse it is for you. I'm sorry that I've become a reminder that...that she's...gone."

"I could never forget." His tone pardoned my apology. "You're not a reminder of her death"--he voice broke on the last word--"you're a reminder of her life, for me at least. For them...I'm not entirely sure." He chuckled weakly. "Rosalie seems to have the same reaction. Emmett as well."

"And Esme?" I wondered what her last reaction was--her reaction to Bella.

"She's trying to be cautious," he answered. "She believes you though. She wants it to be true...almost as much as..." His voice drifted, as did his thoughts.

His eyes fell on me again. He was, once again, trying to lift the thoughts from my head, as if that would be the answer to his dilemma.

"You can read minds, right?" I piped. He nodded slowly. "I remember that. I had forgotten." I blushed. "Please tell me that my thoughts aren't embarrassing; tell me that you haven't been reading my mind."

"I can't." His voice was hoarse, sad, and that underline of hope rang above the sadness.

I didn't understand his reaction--or his words. "What do you mean...can't..?" I frowned. "But you said--"

"There has only ever been one exception to my talent," he said. "Only one. But now, you are a second exception."

I understood who that one exception was; Bella Swan's mind was a mystery to him.

"If Esme's theory is right," he continued. "Then there is still only one exception."

"What's Esme's theory?"

"That you are Bella Swan," he said sharply. He both despised and loved the idea. I could tell from his tone--angry, harsh--and his eyes--soft, hoping. "You're souls is Bella Swan," he corrected. "Do you know anything about reincarnation?"

"Yes," I replied quickly.

Reincarnation, the forming of a human soul into a new human flesh. It was something that I learned, when I was reading a very strange book once. It had been an idea that always sent tingles off inside my brain. The idea scared me. I didn't like the thought of dying, and then waking up as someone else. What if you met up with a loved one who was still alive and they didn't recognize you? It would hurt a lot to see them, and they wouldn't see you--they would _see_ you, your new body, but not the you that you used to be. Then again, that was only if you remembered your past life. Normally, you wouldn't remember. Not unless there was a strong pulling force that wanted you to remember.

"It's possible--Stephanie, are you alright?" Edward was saying. I realized that he had been talking, but I had been staring blankly into space, which happened to be just to his right side.

I looked up. "I'm fine," I lied.

He frowned at me. "You're a terrible liar," he sighed. "Just like..."

"Bella," I finished.

I closed my eyes. I thought only on happy things. I couldn't cry again. I was looking weak, pathetic. I hadn't cried this much since after Issie's death. No one new had died, but I was carrying on like someone had. I needed my strength back. I needed to be strong.

The only problem was that Issie had been my strength when I was younger. She had been the tougher one. I had been soft. Also, I never had to deal with anything quite as tough as what I had to know. I had never fallen in love with a vampire whose mother thought I was a reincarnation of said vampire's old love. Something that peculiar didn't even happen in movies.

"Can I ask--"

"I told you that you could ask anything," he reminded me, "and that offer still stands."

"Thank you." I inhaled deeply. "Where were you the last two years?" I asked. "Where did you go? Why did you go?" He considered my questions, debating between a thousand different answers. "And, the entire, honest, truth, please."

"I wouldn't lie to you," he promised.

"I know," I grinned. "But, please, the whole story."

He sighed. "Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper tracked me down. Rosalie and Emmett stayed in Denali, just in case I would go there to escape. I couldn't face them."

"You ran away?" I gaped. "You don't seem...the type."

He laughed darkly. "I am the type."

"Is that the only reason?" I questioned, feeling that the truth was lacking.

"No," he answered carefully, his eyes watching me, narrowed. "There was another reason." I waited. "After seeing you," he continued. "I was shaken up a bit. I had adjusted to life without Bella; just enough to keep my promise to her; just enough to stay alive." He paused, editing out his promise to Bella. "When I saw you, I was reminded of her." He closed his eyes "I was reminded of the things I loved about her. I wondered why you were so much like her, and I wanted to confront you about it. I didn't though, because I knew that you weren't her--because talking to you wouldn't bring her back. So, I decided that I wouldn't see you again, because it was painful to be reminded."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. He shook his head. I smiled, thanking him. "But you didn't have to leave because of that."

"No," he agreed. "But it did add to the reason. I left for only a month. I called Alice and begged her"--his tone showed that he really had begged, which he wasn't proud of--"to not let Esme or Carlisle know that I was going back. She refused at first, but I convinced her. It seems she figured a way around our deal."

"Alice told Rosalie and Emmett," I guessed.

He smiled. "She gave me a year though, which is more than I deserved."

"What did you do for one year?" I asked. "Sit here and stare at the walls?" Silence. Maybe he did stare at walls. "But when did you visit her grave, at night?" His head shot up. "Sorry, I wasn't sure if asking would be--"

"No, I was just surprised that you knew," he said. "How did you know?"

I shrugged. "You love her."

He smiled warmly. "Yes, I love her."

"So, at night," I confirmed. "When do you sleep?"

"I can't sleep."

It took me a minute to absorb that. "You can't sleep? At all?"

"Never," he said, his voice nearly inaudible.

"Huh." An unexpected twist. I was used to vampires sleeping in the daytime. But, then again, I was used to fangs, bats, and coffins. "So, you came back, but you refused to see me."

"I'm sorry." He honestly sounded apologetic.

"I didn't like it. Not seeing you. It made me...unhappy, anxious too." I blushed. I was admitting to many things out loud, but I wanted him to see that I was being honest with him, so that he would be honest with me.

He laughed sadly. "Did that come out of one of your dreams too?"

"What?" I didn't understand. That was me being me. Yet, he thought I was getting my words from some memory. I could tell that he didn't trust me anymore than before. He thought I was an actress pulling lines off another script. I wasn't being real.

"Edward, that's how I really feel," I explained. "I know that you only love one person, but I only love you." The last statement lingered in the air. I swallowed hard, blushed hard, and stared hard down at my feet. "I don't expect you to share my feelings, I told you that I want to be your hope. I don't want to be some painful reminder."

There was an unnatural silence, holding us in place. Without a sound, a million exchanges took place. Unmoving, my world turned again, switching my position, so that I was no longer left behind in the dust. The way was clear for me. Edward breathed in heavily and when I looked up his face was inches from mine, and I was redder than blood.

"I came to see you again? Remember?" His eyes watched mine, searched mine, for evidence that he was making the right move.

"You did," I admitted, feeling shaky from nervousness.

"I came because, as I told you, you remind me of what I love about her," he whispered. "And, not seeing you, I felt the same way...when I had been away from her. Anxious, was the word I used then. I feel the same way with you."

"You do?" My heart was racing wildly away, ready to burst from my chest with how much pressure was building. I could hear the beating in my ears.

"I spent the year away debating over whether or not I was betraying her."

"Betraying her? How could you do that?"

"If it was possible," he frowned. "I was seeing Bella in you, but you weren't Bella. I found myself liking you much more than I should, but you weren't Bella."

I was gaping again. My heart wouldn't stop. I was afraid that when it did stop, it would stop altogether, forever. It was working so hard, pumping blood that could rush to my face and brighten my cheeks with red. I had to remind myself to breathe.

I wanted to promise that I could be Bella. That was a stupid promise. I bit my tongue--well, more literally I bit my lip--and took in another inhale of oxygen. The oxygen wasn't right though. It was heavy, unclear. I needed something more. Edward's face was inches from mine, ans I suddenly wanted to kiss him. No, I craved his lips on mine. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck, throw myself on him. I wanted to touch him, and to never let go. I wanted to love him. More importantly though, I wanted him to love me. If he responded, there would be nothing more I could ever want. If he kept looking at me the way he was now, I would be happy.

"I want to believe Esme's theory," he told me. "But how can I? You are different, Stephanie. You aren't Bella." His face drifted away slowly, he stepped back.

"My birthday is Friday," I said. "I am going to change my name to Bella Swan if that makes you feel better."

"Don't," he ordered. I had expected anger, but he was amused by the idea. "Think of Renee."

"You're right," I scowled. "Renee wouldn't appreciate that. Neither would Charlie. If I'm going to be living in Forks I may not want the police chief unhappy with me."

"You're staying in Forks?" Edward asked, surprised.

"Of course," I said. "Issie is here. I can't leave her. Besides, if you're here, there's no reason to leave?"

"And if I left?" he threatened.

I shrugged. I didn't take the bait. "I would stay still."

His eyes softened and he smiled. "You wouldn't want to go somewhere sunny?"

"Ah," I laughed. "You found the one difference between me and Issie--between Bella and I. You see, I don't like the sun."

He frowned. "Why not?"

"I don't know," I realized. "After Issie died, the sun reminded me of her too much. But before that...I guess I never had a reason." I deliberated silently for a few seconds and then grinned upon finding a reason. "Eureka!" I exclaimed.

"A reason?" he guessed.

"Because of the rain," I said. "There usually isn't sun when it rains. I like the rain, so therefore I don't like the sun."

"Why do you like the rain?"

"Because it means that...never mind. I have no idea where that answer came from," I scowled again.

"What answer? Please share," he encouraged.

"I was going to say 'because that means you'll be in school', but that doesn't make sense. You don't go to my school, and I don't go to school anymore. I finished after my exam today."

I allowed my expression to go blank. I brushed my fingers over the piano again. "Cold rain is best."

"Cold rain?" He sounded skeptical.

"I rather be cold than warm," I snapped. "When it's hot you get sunburns and there's only a certain amount of layers you can strip off until you're naked and still sweating hot. When it's cold, you pile on the blankets, sit by the fire, snuggle close to someone..." I smiled softly, imagining the scene. Of course, the person I was snuggled next to had to be him. "It's romantic."

His hand touched my shoulder, and the cold reached my through me sleeve. "You like the cold?" he asked.

"Mhhmm," I purred, closing my eyes and subtly stepping back. I was an inch away from touching him. My back was to him, and I was tempted to turn around and fling myself on him. I knew he wouldn't like that, so I imagined the scene instead.

"What are you thinking?" he questioned softly, curious.

"You won't like it," I told him.

"I can decide that for myself." He paused. "Please, tell me," he pleaded, his velvety voice intensely--purposely--seductive.

"I'm thinking about you," I said. "I'm thinking about kissing you." He removed his hand from my shoulder. "But don't worry," I assured him. "I won't. I love you too much to do that to you."

A long pause echoed in the air.

"Do what to me?"

I faced him, turning quickly. I studied his eyes, fuelled by hope.

"I won't make you feel like you betrayed her," I explained.

His stepped forward, and in a movement so swift and quick, his hands were on my shoulders. He leaned down and then straightened up again.

"I don't think friendship is going to work," he said.

"I think it should be more," I frowned. "But I don't need it."

"I think," he said slowly. "I love you." My heart skipped a beat. He smiled sweetly, and then, frowned again. "It won't be easy for me," he continued. "But can you be patient with me?"

I was stunned by the turn of events. "Sure. I could wait forever if you wanted--or, at least, my lifespan."

"I don't think I could ever let you die," he told me. "I know already that it would hurt too much." He muttered something inaudible that sounded like "not again'.

My world really had been turned. Somehow, by simply picking the right words at random, I had managed to make Edward Cullen think he was in love with me. Either I had a hidden flirtation talent, or--for once in my life--I was so very thankful for being just like Bella Swan.

"Hey, Edward," I asked. "I mentioned my birthday, didn't I?" He nodded. "Well, Renee is forcing me to celebrate. She made reservations at this restaurant in Los Angeles, but I have no one to go with. I promised to go though. I was wondering if you...would like to go with me...?"

He debated silently. Confirmation flashed across his eyes as he smiled crookedly. "She's forcing you?"

"Yes or no, please," I smiled, while gritting my teeth.

"Of course," he replied. "It would be my pleasure."

And with that, my birthday wasn't looking so dreadful.

"May I ask, what time it is?" I was hoping that it wasn't too late. "Never mind again."

"_Twilight_, _again_," _he murmured_. "_Another ending_. _No matter how perfect the day is_, _it always has to end_."  
"_Some things don't have to end_."

"I was asleep for a long time, wasn't I?"

"Only a few hours."

"More like several," I argued. "But that's fine." I looked out the window--trying not to gasp at the shock of how pretty the old house was--and peered into the darkening sky. The moon was high, and the sun had just finished vanishing below the horizon. "I don't want to leave," I grumbled. "I want to stay." I paused. How far was too far? "I want to stay with you."

Again, he debated. "You can, but there's only one bed," he offered. "Not that I sleep anyways."

I got the subtle hint. There was a bed because there had been Bella. I wasn't sure if I was imposing. I wasn't sure if I wanted to think about Bella in bed with...there were just too many painful thoughts there. Yet, I wanted to impose. I wanted to cross that line. I wanted to take Bella's place. As evil as it sounded, I wanted to steal Edward's heart away from her. I loved him too much to share.

"I would appreciate that very much." I smiled awkwardly, failing at my attempt to be nonchalant. I decided that I had to amend my actions. "I don't want to be alone, it will give me time to worry over Phil. I won't get any sleep if I'm alone. I'd cry all night. And, that's probably not the best way to enter into your birthday."

"Please stay," Edward insisted, moved by my cry-threat.

"Thank you," I smiled, softer this time. "One more thing." I bit my lip. "I apologize in advance."

I then hugged myself close to his chest, closed my eyes, and decided to stay there as long as her would permit me. His was stone-still at first, but made no move to shove me off. He switched his hands around, placing them on my back, in a comforting way. His cold body felt right against mine. And even though he was hard as stone, I felt comfortable, safe. It felt right.

And so, it was not only twilight in the outward world, but in my life as well. My complaints and my worries were lessening. I would sleep, I would grow, I would change. Then, I would wake up. It would be a new day; it would be a new me. I truly believed that my luck was changing. Just maybe, Edward Cullen was the best thing that had ever happened to me. And--sadly--I had Isabella to thank for that. She had lead me straight to him.

I had hope now.

* * *

**Okay, so, this is the 'LONG' chapter I promised. I tried to pace it evenly with what's been going on and what's about to go on.  
I hope Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett's appearance was good enough to satisfy! Rosalie and Emmett won't be coming back for a while. Esme might come back sooner, but Alice's appearance (with Jasper! Yay!) is first and foremost. Next two chapters will shock--stun--and add major plot twists. So, from this point on, things will start to make sense. I hope.  
Now, if anyone is curious about why Carlise hasn't shown up yet, I assure you that he will. At some point.  
And I also hope that the quote at the top made sense to you. I thought it was perfect for this chapter, considering things.**

**To clarify, the Isabella being referred to is probably not the one you're thinking of. (Why? 'Cause it's both!)**

**Again, REVIEW! Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6: What Are You Thinking?

_**"At the first kiss I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an exquisite way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, All the secrets that slept deep within me came awake, Everything was transformed and enchanted, everything made sense." - Hermann Hesse**  
_

* * *

"Alice, this is crazy," I scoffed. "How can you fit so many flowers on there?"

She giggled behind me. I spun around and gave her the foulest glare I could manage. I gestured to the mix of white roses and ruffled tulips that was tied in a midnight-blue ribbon on the end of the pew beside me.

"Bella, Bella," she chanted. "It looks lovely. It will match every thing perfectly."

"But there's too many!" I growled. "Alice, you're making this too big."

She pouted at me with wide, innocent eyes. "Bella, you promised me remember? I have free-range."

I scowled and rushed away to the front of the church. "Alice, I'm sorry," I said finally. "I'm just...nervous, that's all."

"And you have right to be," Alice soothed, her hand suddenly on my shoulder. "Jane was threatening to kill you. That would ruin my wedding spirits too. Except, when I married Jasper, I didn't have a rogue member of the Volturi after me."

"I'm post-poning this," I said, staring coldly at the altar. "I can't risk Jane and her band coming in here and hurting anyone."

"She wouldn't do that, Bella," she assured me. "Jane and her brother are still part of the Volturi. They wouldn't risk exposure." She giggled. "Bella, you just want to post-pone because your worried over Charlie walking you down the aisle."

I sighed. "You know me too well, Alice."

"As I should," she grinned, her teeth sparkling white as she spun me around to face her. "We are going to be officially sisters tomorrow!"

I smiled at that. "Yes, we are," I admitted. "And then comes the happily ever after."

She giggled again and set off to finish decorating the church.

I felt a pair of cool hands touch my shoulders, and soon cold lips kissed along my neck and up to my jawline. I felt a shiver of pleasure run up my spine. He took that as a signal that I was too cold. He stopped kissing me.

"No," I growled, spinning around in his arms, and wrapping my hands around his neck. "You're not finished kissing me yet."

He chuckled, and then smiled crookedly, causing my heart to skip a beat. I would never be used to that smile. Edward wasn't the sort of person anyone ever got used to. I had made that assumption before I knew his secret, before I knew he was a vampire. And now, now that I knew every thing about him, I was certain that Edward would be a wonderful surprise for the rest of my life--and then, after that, forever and ever, amen. He would be mine forever, until the day I died. I planned on making that never.

"Alice thinks your nervous," he whispered into my neck, kissing me again. He paused and I felt his smile on my jaw. "Are you?"

"I little," I admitted. "But we're not post-poning anything. I want to marry you. And, tomorrow night..."

I was blushing before I finished. I was hesitant to look at him. He had lifted his head so that I could clearly see him, but I didn't want to know if he could hear the reluctance in my tone. I was nervous about a great many things. First, was Jane's threats. Second, was the three painful days of change to follow...my third worry. I wanted the third worry to happen more than anything, but...I hadn't been very good at seducing Edward the first time, and the second time...and the third time I had refused so that I could marry him first. They say third times a charm, and I had failed that miserably. What was a fourth time? Fourth time's a failure? Fourth time's a final? Fourth time's a what? Was there a positive outlook for this?

"Bella," he whispered, his voice so seductive that my eyes flashed to his face instinctively. I blushed deeper and gaped upon see the desire in his eyes, and...just seeing him. "Bella," he whispered again. "Tomorrow night, I promise you will have me."

I nealr went faint. My heart kicked into final gear, speeding like I was racing for my life. I smiled shyly and hoped that my fast glance away was enough to tell him that I was looking forward to it. His hand cupped my chin and he turned my head so that my eyes faced him again. Somehow, he was uncertain, as if he had any reason to doubt that I could stop loving him for even half a second.

"And you'll have me," I promised. "Forever."

* * *

**Chapter 6: What Are You Thinking?**

_"I was thinking there was something I wanted to try."  
I couldn't breathe._

I was a little guilty, but I wasn't about to take back my plan. I was as lowly as a dog marking her territory, and in this case, it was Edward Cullen's bed. It had the foul feel of guilt when I laid in it, knowing that I was stealing him from Bella. I told myself a thousand lies, making the truth seem less awful. I told myself that she was dead, and that it was perfectly fair territory to mark. I told myself that I was her, because that...that really wasn't lie anymore.

Still, when I excused myself--holding back tears of guilt now instead of my fear of being alone, thinking of Phil and Renee--I had half a mind to turn around and tell him that I was going home. I didn't though. I let him show me to his room. I did the classic "wow," when I saw the CDs packed against the wall, and I blushed when I saw the gold sheets. I admired the design of the backboard--flowers, black-painted iron roses--and noticed a spot where on had been broken off. I laughed, recalling another brief flash of a dream. He asked what was funny, but I told him it was nothing. He didn't believe me, but I swerved and he had to catch me. He saw that I was too tired to explain. He would probably ask me again in the morning.

Ugh, in the morning. That would be my birthday. He took note of the suddenly even more weary expression.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice dripping with sweet concern. I could see in his eyes that he was holding back, but slowly, he was opening up.

"Tomorrow," I sighed. "It's my birthday. Another year older."

He chuckled, fully, meaningfully. "You're not excited?"

I scowled. "Why would I be excited about getting older? I can have just as much fun at seventeen as eighteen. There's no real difference."

He shook his head, and a look of comfort brightened his eyes. I knew then that I had won him over.

It was silly to not think that after his confession of friendship not working wouldn't convince me, but something 'not working' wasn't a confirmation that another route _would_work. If you took a detour and ended up in the wrong place, taking another detour won't necessarily get you to the right place, no matter what the signs say. Sometimes, you can get lost on the right track. So easily, things can go wrong. I intended on taking things slow. I would take things faster as the signs confirmed the right direction. Until then, I was only here as hope and as his way of seeing Bella again. When he loved me, for me--which I wanted believe was possible, which I _prayed_ was possible--then I could be honest. I could let down my guard and let him see me. It would take a long time for him to think of me as me, and not as her. I would be patient though. I had to. It was my only hope.

Eventually, I did close my eyes and drift asleep. I woke often though, always finding tears on my cheeks. It was strange, seeing as how I didn't feel sad at all. My dreams morphed into nightmares halfway through, and I blamed that as being the cause of my wet eyes.

The dream always began with Edward at the piano, playing the lullaby, but I always seemed to think it was the first time I had heard it. I was astounded by how beautiful it was, and recalled him humming the tune to me earlier. Then, I could see Renee, driving me to the airport, asking me again, and again, and again, if I wanted to change my mind, to stay with her, instead of going to Forks. I could see the sacrifice it would take for her to stay with me instead of going with Phil, so I sucked it up. It was strange, because I loved Forks, but I had a feeling that I resented it in that stage of the dream.

The real nightmare came after I landed in Forks. The nightmare came when I saw Phil unconscious in the hospital, and Renee by his side. I tried to get in, but there were no doors. I begged nurses and doctors to let me in, but they refused entrance to me. I pleaded with complete strangers, faces with names, but people I had never known.

"Please," I begged one girl, who was shorter than me, but had some high authority over me. "Please, Jessica. I'm sorry about the other night. Just, please, let me in."

"You ran out into the street and scared me half to death!" she screamed. "Bella, how could you? Why do you act so strange all the time? Just because _he_ left!?"

"But he's back," I told her,"and he's never going to leave again!"

"How do you know?" she sneered. She faded from my sight after that.

"Angela!" I shouted, seeing another unfamiliar familiar face. "Please, you can help me, right?"

"I have to send these first," she sighed. "I know you helped me last time...but I don't think you can help me this time."

"I'll help you write out addresses and stuff later," I promised. "But please let me in first!"

"I don't know why you want to go in," she puzzled. "He's your mother's new husband. You hardly know him."

"He's my father though!"

"No," she laughed. "Did you get a bump on the head? Charlie is your father. Bella, did you fall over again? Or did you hit yourself again with a racket?"

"No, not again," I mumbled. "Charlie isn't my father. That's not possible. Issie, where is she?"

Angela gaped at me.

"Where is she?" I asked. "You know, don't you?"

"You don't want to go there, Bella," she told me, her voice hushed and nervous. "You really don't want to go there."

"She's my sister. I have to go."

"You're risking everything."

"I have to see Issie," I said sternly. "She's my sister and I miss her. I love her more than anything. If I don't go see her, she'll think I betrayed her."

"You don't want to go in there, Bella," Angela repeated. "You might lose."

"Where is she?" I demanded. "Tell me where, _please_!"

She pointed, raising her arm out straight to a room. I noticed how bright it was everywhere, except that room. Everywhere else the walls were white, and the floors were white, but this room, was gray.

I ran toward it, calling out Issie's name several times. I ran for hours, and reached the door, and yanked it open.

It was a large room, it was never-ending. I looked on for miles, but saw nothing. I stared at the plain bed in front of me. It was entirely black, at least king-sized, more or less. I recognized the rose-patterned backboard. I then noticed that it had a black coffin beside it. The lid was open a crack, but I didn't dare look. Besides fear, it was a distraction that caused my curiosity to wane.

"I wouldn't if I were you," laughed a sad voice. "Or else you might end up trading places. You wouldn't want that, Stephanie."

I whirled around. I gasped, and began shaking with joy as tears spilled over my eyelids. "Is!" I shouted.

She turned and smiled at me. "You finally came to visit," she said. Her eyes, dark blue in colour, were half-closed and shadowed over with sadness.

"I've missed you so much!" I cheered, running over to her, arms wide, ready to hug her.

"STOP!" she bellowed, her voice sharper and colder than I had ever heard it. "Don't come any closer."

I stopped, and my arms dropped halfway. "Why?"

"I'm dead, Stephanie," she reminded me. "You don't come to me unless you want to die too."

I frowned. "I miss you."

"And I you," she sighed. "But, I'm happy here."

"How?" I scoffed. "This place is boring."

"Not _here_ here," she growled. "I meant heaven."

I gaped, and then smiled. "There is a heaven? You made it?"

"Of course I made it," she gasped. "How could you ever think that I wouldn't?"

"I wasn't sure if...never mind." I lowered my arms and took one step closer. "How is it?"

"Fine."

"Can you see us from up there?"

"Sure."

I frowned again. "You don't seem very happy." She shot me a glare. "You're not happy," I confirmed. "Why aren't you happy?"

"Because you're wasting your time!" she shouted hoarsely. "Trust me, this is not where you want to be."

"I wanted to see you." I was stunned that she was trying to shoo me away.

"I wanted to see you too," she laughed; she sounded light-hearted. "But there isn't time for that. You don't have much longer."

"Am I...am I going to die soon?" I swallowed hard. I remembered what I would be leaving behind if I did die. Renee and Phil would never recover. And, there was Edward now.

"Yes, him," Issie smiled warmly. She turned lithely, her wavy golden-brown hair sweeping over her back. "He is why you don't have much time."

"He wouldn't hurt me," I assured her.

"No, not in the way you think," she agreed, slowly, uncertain. "Don't come back here, or else you'll lose."

"What is there to lose?"

"Him," she answered, her smile fading as my eyes widened. "You'll lose him to Bella again."

"Bella is dead," I told her. "That's impossible."

"You love him," she whispered, ignoring anything I said now.

"Bella isn't alive, Issie."  
"You love him more than anything, and already you know where this could lead."  
"Bella can't win him back."  
"He will love you, if you go back, I promise."

That caught me off guard. "Are you psychic in heaven?"

"No," she grinned crookedly, reminding me of him, how his smile held that same simple perfection. Only her smile was bitter. "I just know," she sighed. "You can be yourself around him if you go back now. But you're wasting time here. You're ruining yourself."

"Is, I have plenty of time," I argued. "I'm asleep right now, dreams only take up thirty seconds at most."

"Read that somewhere?"  
"Yes."  
"You won't have to worry over sleep much longer, dear sister."  
"Why is that?"  
"It doesn't matter."  
"But I want to know."

"Later." She brushed me off with a wave of her hand. "Go, right now," she ordered. "You've wasted all your time with me."

"How can I be wasting time?" I glared at her. "Issie, as long as I'm not dying anytime soon, I have plenty of time."

"You have a week," she told me. "In one week, you'll have either lost or won." She paused, allowing my gape to increase as her words sunk in. "Go, you've wasted enough time."

"But I have to leave on Saturday!" I screamed, finding that the room was fading away. "I don;t have any time at all left!"

"Not my problem," she said with a shrug. "I suggest you don't go. Stay, if he's more important to you."

"Issie!" I yelled, stretching my hands out to her. I was falling, and the coffin was falling alongside me. Issie was standing in mid-air, floating above me as I feel farther into a black pit. "Issie!"

_And then Edward stepped out of the trees, his skin faintly glowing, his eyes black and dangerous. He held up one hand and beckoned me to come to him. The wolf growled at my feet.  
_  
I realized that I had stopped falling. I recognized Jacob, in his wolf form, angry and poised to leap forward at the next sudden move. I looked up at Edward again.

_I took a step forward, to ward Edward. He smiled then, and his teeth were sharp, pointed.  
"Trust me," he purred.  
I took another step.  
_  
I shot upward, gasping for breath, finding cold sweat on my forehead.

"It's alright," Edward soothed. "A bad dream."

My eyes slowly adjusted to the dark, and his skin was pale enough to be seen in the blackness. I watched the shadow of his outline come toward me. I relaxed.

"Sorry," I apologized in a tired slur. "I...well, yes. I bad dream." I sighed, stretched and yawned. "Well, I can't sleep now."

"It's 3 AM," he said. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I don't get that much sleep anyways," I assured him.

"Neither do I," he teased.

"Although, I probably sleep more than you do," I laughed, wide awake now.

"I'd wager you do."

I rolled my eyes. I wondered if he could see that in the dark. His low chuckle told me that he could.

"I meant to mention something," I said. I was hesitant, but after Issie's reminder, I needed to inform him right away. "Saturday, I promised that I would go see Phil. But..."--I paused, trying to guess at what Edward's reaction would be to my plan--"I think I might call Renee and ask her to call me when he's awake, so that I can...stay with you." My voice had gotten very low at I spoke, and I felt ashamed that I wanted to be with Edward more than I wanted to see my father, who was unconscious in the hospital. "Never mind, bad idea. I'm going Sunday."

He laughed, sadness in his voice. "You would rather be with me?"

"Yes," I admitted. "But I can't. I have to see him." I hung my head sadly, and clasped my hands together guiltily. "I'm so worried about him, but I won't do anything but sit there and that will give me more time to worry. I don't know what to do with myself."

"To be honest, I wish you would stay," he said, a smile in his voice. "But I'm not going to let you." I straightened up and wondered if you could tell how confused I was. "You're right in saying you have to go. I know you want to go, because you are worried. But you don't have to leave right away, no. If you knew when he was going to wake up, you could leave just in time to see him wake..." He trailed off; his voice had become careful, planning something.

"Edward?"

"I have a plan," he said. "I'll have to call Alice first."

"Can I meet her?" I begged. "Can she come here? Or...is that too hard on you?"

"No, she'll want to see me," he said softly. "I might as well call her and start apologizing for worrying her."

Just then, I heard the familiar buzz of a cellphone. Edward's shadowed figure ruffled silently and next I knew, the bright blue light of a cellphone highlighted his face.

"Alice, you have bad timing." Pause. "No, Alice," he growled softly. "I was just planning to call you. I wasn't ready yet." Another pause. "Yes, I want to see you again." A shorter pause. "Yes, Jasper too." Pause. "Only you and Jasper. Don't tell Esme or Carlisle and leave Emmett and Rosalie out of this." A short pause, and I saw Edward freeze. "No." a long pause, and I saw the corner of his lip twist upward. "Maybe," he whispered, soft and pleasant. "You'll see when you get here."

I practised inhaling and exhaling. I had been so absorbed with eavesdropping and admiring his face that breathing had become impossible to focus on. In fact, I had help my breath the entire time he was speaking.

"Alice is coming," Edward explained, shoving the phone in his pocket. "She wants to meet you. And she's agreed to do me a favor, for you."

"What favor?" I puzzled. Then, I gasped. "She's psychic! I remember that!"

He paused, probably puzzling over the word 'remember'. I was also sure that Alice had never been described as psychic before.

"She's going to try and see when Phil wakes up," he answered. "The exact time, so you'll be ready ahead of that time. She can help us ensure that you arrive exactly when he wakes up. This way, you won't have time to twiddle your thumbs and needlessly worry when he's already going to be just fine."

"How do you know?" I asked hoarsely. I hoped he was right. Phil had to be perfectly alright.

"Alice already saw that," he said. "I asked her to keep tabs on Renee, Charlie, and Phil too, when..."

"That's nice of you," I beamed. I didn't want him to dwell on unhappy thoughts. I had to do my best the cheer him up. "So you said it was 3 AM, right?"

"It's half past now," he confirmed.

"Really?" I laughed. "Well, then I am officially eighteen years old now. I was born at 3:23 AM, on this day, June 21."

"A Gemini?" he mused.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I was supposed to be a Virgo, but I was born premature--really premature. Issie was born late. Which, is kind of funny, because I think that's why Issie and I had the same maturity level. I was too young, and she was too old."

"You were supposed to be a Virgo," he repeatedly dumbly, as if I had told him an immensely complicated equation.

"Yes, I wa--" And then I remembered.

Bella was a Virgo. Edward knew every thing about Bella, and he obvious recalled this fact with perfect clarity.

"Today is also the first day of summer," I said, skillfully changing the subject. "And officially, I am forever done with school."

"What about college?" he asked, confused by my sudden excitement.

"I never planned on going," I murmured shyly. "For some reason, ever since I was young, I had this idea that something was going to happen. I wasn't going to have time."

Issie's warning were seeming more like another omen to add to my Bella-oriented life. She had said that time was running out. I had another week, that was it. Whatever was going to happen next Friday was going to be the the finale. I would have either won or lost by that point. But why one week? Just to make the days even? I hoped that in seven days, I would win, because losing, I feared, would be something not pleasant. No, not only that, I would lose Edward Cullen. That could not happen.

"Seven days," I said numbly.

"What?"

"Nothing," I lied.

"What's happening in seven days?" he persisted.

"I don't know," I answered. "Issie warned me."

"The bad dream you had," he noted. His tone flushed with concern and a promise of comfort. "What did she say?"

"She told me that something was going to happen in seven days," I said, finding that my voice was strained. "She said I was wasting time talking to her; she said time was running out." I paused. "Edward, this wasn't just a bad dream. It was a warning. I can feel it. In seven days, I'm either going to win or lose."

"Win or lose what?" The concern in his tone had switched to furious terror, and a hint of worry. He could tell that I was terrified, and he seemed to believe in warnings, even if they were from the dreams of a silly girl.

"You," I answered simply.

Nothing happened for a while. I waited for his reaction. I waited...and waited. I held my breath, not able to breathe in case I missed his reaction. I knew it wouldn't be subtle, but I wanted to get the full of it, so I could react perfectly to his reaction. If he tried to run, I would need to be ready to chase. If he was angry, I had to be ready with either a joke or something to win him over permanently. If he chose to kick me to the curb, so to speak, then I would prepare to beg, beg for the only life I had. I life of love, being beside him.

"That's what you are most afraid of?" he asked finally.

"Yes," I said.

"Why?"

"I love you," I whispered desperately. "If I lose you...there's nothing left."

His body crushed into mine, his arms wrapped me tightly, holding me to his chest. I silently gasped. His lips were at my ear before I could react anymore.

"You won't lose me," he promised in a whisper. "I swear. If it will hurt you that much, I could never, ever leave you."

"It would hurt me that much," I sobbed into his shoulder. "Edward,"--I feebly took my hands and grabbed onto him, pulling myself as close as I could with my weak strength--"It would hurt so much." I buried my lips into his shoulder and squeezed him tighter, allowing his cold skin to seep into me.

"You won't lose me," he assured me.

I knew he was thinking about her. I knew he, at some point, had probably promised to be with her forever. He had probably promised to protect her. I knew all this, but I also knew that he was talking to me. He meant it for me. Even it was partially for her, some part was for me. I could feel it. I could feel his promise to me would be kept. I had to trust that he would keep that promise. I had to trust that he could love me--not just someone who looked like her, but _me_.

I cried a few more tearless sobs before Edward pushed me back and his fingers cupped around my chin. I stared at where his face should be--still unable to see in the darkness, although it was getting brighter.

"You won't lose me," he repeated. "I'm going to stay by your side, protect you, if that's fine with you."

"It's fine with me," I assured him. "It's exactly what I want."

"Then that's what you have."

I was blushing; the heat was in my cheeks, and the pit of my stomach churned in a way that killed off most of the butterflies that had been fluttering around in there. I inhaled suddenly, after my lungs burst in anticipation for oxygen. I shivered, finally feeling the affects of cuddling close to a vampire's ice cold skin.

My stomach lurched, and then growled at me. I was hungry. I felt embarrassement colour my face a darker red. I looked away, trying to escape my stomach's betrayel. I hoped he would say nothing, or at least assure me that he didn't mind being with someone with imperfections--blushing and stomach growling, as well as some spurts of clumsiness.

"You're hungry." It was a statement, not a question. "Let's go get something for you to eat." He lifted me off the bed swiftly, took my hand, and lead me out of his room into the hall.

"Are you hungry too?" I asked jokingly. I heard the flick of a switch, and the lights were on, showing his sly grin, terrifyingly desirable.

"Not yet," he assured me, taking my shocked expression as fear. He lead me down the stairs.

"I'm going to guess that you have no human food here, other than me," I murmured, finding my joke quite hilarious. He didn't laugh. "So, where are you taking me?"

"Home," he answered simply.

"But I am--" I flushed. "I mean, thanks."

He smiled, stopping on the last step. I stopped beside him. He stared at me, studying me for the thousandth time. I tried to mirror his concentrated stare, but I was sure that my lips had parted of their own will, slightly gaping, unable to reason with why this perfect angel was holding my hand.

His eyes were bright, slightly darker than topaz today. I brought my eyes carefully over his face, his straight, perfect features. His lips--perfect, full, and tempting--were what my eyes drew in last. I remembered to breathe again.

"If you want," he said softly. "You can call this your home."

I glanced away, wide-eyed. "You're taking no slow steps are you?"

"Am I moving to fast?" He asked. "I'm sorry."

But he wasn't sorry. I could clearly hear in his voice that he wished that we were moving much faster. That encouraged me.

"Edward, I'm going to ask something of you," I warned. "You can say no."

"Ask away," he grinned; his grin turned crooked after a second passed. "Are you going to ask me to move slower?"

"No," I scowled. "I would ask you to go faster before I asked you to go slower."

"Then ask."

I stared up, wide-eyed again. "What?"

"You had a question," he reminded me, slyly side-stepping the reaction his comment caused. "Ask away."

I exhaled carefully; my eyes scanned the room, wanting to avoid embarrassing myself by staring into his perfect eyes while asking a stupid question. "Would you mind spending the day with me?" I asked. "The entire day?"

"Of course not," he answered, smiling. "And then, after dinner at the restaurant Renee reserved, you can meet Alice and Jasper."

"That would be great," I beamed. "I can't wait."

* * *

I was smiling the whole ride over. I couldn't help it. I had spent the night at Edward's house. Before that, I had met his mother, two of his siblings, and he had confessed that he had feelings for me, other than friendship. After the night, he had held me so sweetly, so carefully, that I was absolutely positive that he had lied to me. He wasn't a vampire. He was an angel.

It took me a minute to remember that I had keys in my jean pocket--which had caused a sad little bruise when I slept on it. I opened the door after a few second of fumbling with my keys. Edward followed me in, his eyes sweeping in every thing. I was certain that he had the house memorized by the time I reached the kitchen. All that was left was the upstairs. But, remembering what a messy housekeeper I was, decided that giving him the tour would be bad. I would hate for him to see my room and realize that I was secretly a slob.

I rummaged through the pantry, the fridge, and found leftover macaroni. Now, macaroni had been a favourite of Is's and of mine. She liked the white cheese, I liked the cheddar. I was sure that Renee had taken a vow never to make Is's favourite ever again, for fear of bringing unnecessary tears to her eyes. I know that I had made that promise. So, naturally, it was cheddar macaroni. I heated it up in the microwave because I was too lazy to make anything else--and this would give me opportunity to stare more at Edward's face, since I could keep my eyes free.

"So, this is my home," I said, smiling and gesturing like a model showing off a sportscar at some organized car show. He chuckled at my gesturing.

The microwave beeped, and I rushed around to open it. The second most annoying sound in the world was that of a microwave beeping, repeatedly, drilling the sound into your head. The first place was Ella Jone's voice.

After shoving a mouthful of maccoroni into my mouth--forking it in straight out of the tupperware--I heard a faint sound, like far off music. Edward's head perked up. He chuckled. "I have a feeling that's yours," he said.

"My what?"

I gasped in realization. I then raced up to my room to search for my cellphone. I found it on my dresser, thankfully easy to see. I opened it and pressed 'talk'. "Hello?"

"Where have you been?" A high-pitched nasally voice asked.

I grumbled quietly as I shuffled down the stairs. _Speak of the devil and he shall come_, I thought to myself. _Ella Jones_.

"I was busy," I answered. "Sorry, what did you need?"

"Sorry? Sorry?" she squeaked. "Stephie-poo, I come over to your house last night and no one answered. Are you purposely ignoring me?"

No, but I wished that I could. "Of course not."

"I think you are! I might just never talk to you again."

Please, do that. Never talk to me again. "El, please. You know your one of my only friends."

"Only best friends," she corrected. "Except you're not planning to talk to us again, are you?"

What? How did she come up with that? Was she crazy? "What are you talking about?"

"You're staying in Forks," she growled. "While we go off to fancy our education, you're staying in Forks. Why would you do that to us?"

Oh, well, it was all about them, wasn't it? I didn't have friends who cared about me. I had friends who liked having me around so that they could pretend to have a wider social circle. Or maybe they still pitied me. Ella had only started being nice(-er) to me after Issie's death. I didn't doubt for a second that her willingness to hang around me wasn't false. She was the greatest actress I knew. She had a phony personality, and her friendship with me was phony too. She was the closest to hate I had ever come with a person.

"I want to stay in Forks," I said. "It has nothing to do with you or Cat or Evie. It's just me."

"Jeez, why do you have to be so weird all the time?" she mocked. "Whatever. I called to invite you to go to Port Angeles with me and Evie."

"Evie and I," I corrected. She was the only person I took pleasure in correcting. I liked righting the wrongs of the wicked.

"Whatever, Stephie," she groaned. "We're going to see a movie. Wanna come with?"

"No thanks," I declined pleasantly. "I have plans."

"Plans? What plans?"

"A birthday...date," I answered, flushing as I peeked around to see the kitchen, Edward's eyes suddenly on me. I ducked behind the wall, acting chicken.

"Date? Who with?" I could practically hear her squirm with jealousy and girlish delight. Then, her tone turned icy. "And what do you mean 'birthday'?"

"It's my birthday today, El," I told her.

"Why didn't you invite me and Evie to hang out? Did you tell Cat?" she asked, annoyed, showing no interest in my date anymore or intention of birthday wishes.

"Cat was busy," I said. "She knew and wished me a happy birthday, and I'm sure she texted me birthday wishes, like she did last year."

"And Evie?"

"Evie knew," I sighed. "She invited me to go to the movies with you. She asked on Tuesday. I said no."

"Why?"  
"I was planning to spend the day with family."  
"Why?"  
"Because, I always do."

"Why aren't you spending the day with them now?" Ella accused; her tone was lethal. "You gave up on them because you found a date? You picked some nobody over us?"

"He's not a nobody! He means every thi--" I took a breathe and lowered my voice, because I had been shouting. "Ella, my father is unconscious in a hospital in Jacksonville right now," I seethed. "My mother flew out there to see watch him recover. I don't have any patience right now for you."

"Oh." Pause. "I didn't know."

"You didn't care to ask," I spat, shutting the phone with a swift flick of my wrist and closing my eyes wearily. My jaw was tight and by body was tense. My anger burned inside me, but it wasn't long before my heat was cooled by the most startling chill.

"Is she always like that?" Edward asked. His hand on my shoulder spun me around to face him. I stared down. I nodded, and he sighed. "Why do you have friends like that, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Convenience," I answered coolly. "My parents needs proof that I was healing. Friends--whether they're real friends or not--are the best way to give proof of healing."

"I'm sorry you found people like her to substitute for friends," he murmured, his hand stroking my arm, slowly but surely dissipating my anger.

"My friend Cat isn't so bad," I told him, more cheerfully. "She can be nice. She cares." I smiled, remembering her good news. "She's getting married at the end of the summer. I was against it at first--Renee is absolutely against young marriage and it's problems, and she passed that onto me--but Cat will be happy this way. I hope she'll be happy. She was always the nicest."

His crooked smile appeared, knocking the breathe out of me. "Against young marriage?"

I nodded. "I'm sure you know this, but Charlie and Renee got divorced, and Renee's not proud of marrying him so quickly, without thinking. I haven't see much of Charlie, but he's nice enough. He's not Renee's match though." I laughed. "I suppose I am a bit biased. Phil is my father after all. I think he's her match."

I glanced up. He was still smiling at me. I smiled back.

"He'll be fine," Edward assured me. "Alice already saw that. I promise that he'll be fine."

"I believe that," I said quickly. "I'd trust anything you'd say."

"And you say I'm moving fast," he chuckled darkly. "You would trust anything I said?"

"Would you lie to me?" I raised an eyebrow and watched his face soften.

"No."

"So why shouldn't I trust you?"

"You can trust me," he promised. His flawless lips curved once again into his dazzling crooked smile.

"Good," I frowned.

I couldn't help but think about how desperate I was to touch his lips, to kiss him. I wanted to be closer to him than I already was. I couldn't imagine how many times he had kissed Bella. I had only dreamed of kissing Edward once, and that was the first kiss. I hadn't felt it though, because I had been waking up by that point in the dream. I wanted to taste Edward's lips on mine.

He puzzled at my down-turned lips. His fingers brushed my lips and the frown faltered.

"What are you thinking?" he asked softly, sweetly.

"You don't want to hear it," I mumbled, almost whispered.

"_Something you said to Jessica_..._well_, _it bothers me_." _He refused to be distracted_. _His voice was husky_, _and he glanced from under his lashes with troubled eyes_.  
"_I'm not surprised you heard something you didn't like_. _You know what they say about eavesdroppers_," _I reminded him_.  
"_I warned you I would be listening_."  
"_And I warned you that you didn't want to know everything I was thinking_."  
"_You did_," _he agreed_, _but his voice was still rough_. "_You aren't precisely right_, _though_. I_ do want to know what you're thinking_--_everything_. _I just wish_..._I just wish you wouldn't be thinking some things_."  
_I scowled_. "_That's quite a distinction_."

"I want to know every thing you're thinking. Spare me no details."

I should have just come out and said it, but I didn't. For some reason, I got it in my head that actions speak louder than words and I wanted this, more than anything, so I would do it. I had already pushed ahead and gotten my way so far, and I didn't have a lot of time left. What was wrong with just taking this one little risk? Answer: because it wasn't a little risk; it was a big risk that could push Edward Cullen away from me.

I titled my head back and leaned upward, closed my eyes and came in inch from his lips. I was debating between stepping backward and apologizing or just going through with my initial choice. It was too late to go back though, Edward closed the distance between us and kissed me.

Now, usually in movies or books the first kiss is slow, careful, hesitant, passionate. In our first kiss, it was only the last word of description. The moment Edward's lips found mine, the passion poured into me, and I found my lips moving tenderly against his, and I did not hold any part of myself back. My fingers knotted in his bronze hair. Our lips parted once, so I could breathe, and with that air I took in his delicious scent. His kissed me again, taking away all my air again. My lungs begged me for air. I ignored the complaints, but Edward noticed. Edward turned unresponsive. His hands gently pushed me back. I couldn't resist his strength, and I really did need a moment to breathe.

I was recovering from the shock--kissing Edward sent electricity through my veins and lit my heart on fire--and barely recovering my breathe. Half of my loss of breathe was from the actual kiss itself, the other half was just thinking about how close I had been, how he had wanted to be close to me. That thought was unbearably wonderful. I was exhilerated and calmed. Exhilerated because of the adrenaline and pleasure racing inside me. Calm because I had a feeling that Edward might love me as much as I loved him. He drew away though, probably thinking he was betraying Bella again.

"I'm sorry," I gasped. "But, now..."--I drew in an unsteady breathe--"now you know what I was thinking." I watched his face. He was composed cautiously. His eyes burned into mine, holding the same feeling that I was now feeling; closeness, love.

"You were thinking about kissing me," he confirmed. "Why?"

"Because," I grinned shyly. I turned my eyes down and allowed my already flushed face to brighten. "I know that saying I love you isn't a good enough reason, but it's the only reason I--"

"It is a good enough reason," he interrupted. "And I hope you think about it again."

"Oh, I will," I warned him. "And often. Especially after that."

He rolled his eyes, but his smile did not fade. I bit my bottom lip and dared to ask a crazy question.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Not right now," he cooed, his cool lips at my ear. "You have a reservation, remember? You wouldn't want to be late."

* * *

**Okay, originally, I was planning on getting to the restaurant in this chapter and having Alice and Jasper show up as well, but I got lazy. You can read about their appearance next chapter. I am going to sleep whilst listening to Whitney sing away...or perhaps a round of Claire de Lune?  
Please REVIEW! PLEASE, PLEASE, please. I love reading reviews! I hope this chapter was crazy enough for you to follow.**

And just to let you in on a secret, after typing up this chapter I had something like an epiphany. I realized that I had killed off Bella. I scolded myself for half an hour--more like ten mintues, but I wasn't timing myself--all while debating not writing another horrid chapter. After all, I had killed Bella and separated Edward from her! How awful is that? But, I am going to keep writing. I am also going to be very cross with myself for coming up with such a stupid idea. Who in there right mind dares kill Bella? Edward's gunna kill me for that.

**Oh, and yes, the seven day deal is real. It's not just part of a crazy nightmare. All of Stephanie's dreams are real--except that random bit about Jessica and Angela...that was just a nightmare. Angela and Jessica aren't going to appear outside of Phil's room at the hospital.**


	7. Chapter 7: Birthday Presents

**"Kissing is like drinking salted water: you drink and your thirst increases." - Chinese Proverb.**

* * *

I hadn't realized what time it was, and I looked at the clock to see that Charlie would be home in less than half an hour. I jumped off the couch and leaped to the kitchen to prepare Charlie's dinner. I wasn't going to be cooking for him anymore, so I had promised him an extravagant meal every night until I was gone. He had been happy at the striking of that deal, but soon remembered it's reason and hated it. He loved the meals--which I put love into with my still-beating heart--but hated the reason. He would rather eat one of Rene's experimental cooking rather than see me marry Edward.

I went to work, deciding that there was no possibly way to make something wonderful in such a short amount of time. I went with lasagna, which would be warm against the cold rainy weather. It was pouring buckets outside the window. I had barely noticed the tiny droplets in Alice's hair when she had stopped by earlier...

The door unlocked, opened and Charlie bumped, and hobbled through the door. He wasn't graceful in his age, not that he could ever compare to the grace of my new family.

"Hello, Dad!" I greeted.

"Hey, Bells," he grunted. "Someone visited me at the station today, looking for you."

That puzzled me. Everyone I knew lived in Forks, knowing my exact location. Even if the Volturi were searching for me, wouldn't they track me down?

No, they wouldn't. Aro probably knew that Alice would be watching for them. He would be sneaky about it. I doubted that tracking me down would work to their advantage. I was left with the puzzle unsolved.

"They left you a message," Charlie continued, entering the kitchen. His face lightened when he smelled the delicious aroma of a warm meal. He dropped the note on the counter. It was an off-white, neat-cornered, folded slip. "Mm, smells good."

"Thanks," I smiled. I edged toward the paper. It didn't look suspicious--not in a way I was expecting. I had thought that the paper would give me a clue. It's appearance only puzzled me more.

I served Charlie's meal on a plate and then mine. Charlie ate away, looking pleased, while I stared at one of my last human-satisfying meals. I shoved fork fulls of lasagna into my mouth. It was good, but I burnt my tongue from how much heat I was pumping into my mouth.

"So," I started, trying to sound casual. "Who was this person? Someone you know?"

"Nope," he answered before another fork full.

"Who were they?"

"Don't know." Another fork full.

"Where were they from?" I was getting irritated with Charlie's short responses.

"Italy, I think she said." Charlie paused. "Said you met her there and was in the neighbourhood, knew you weren't home because you were probably out with Edward." He shrugged. "I figured that she couldn't be lying. Anyone who knows about Edward can't be lying about knowing you. Did you meet her when you went after Edward that time?"

I nodded. Not only was Charlie not freaking out--which I happily blamed on my good cooking skills--but he didn't seemed shocked that I had somehow made a friends in Italy...He was calm. I was beginning to freak out. I hoped that whoever had left the note was lying about being from Italy. Maybe they were secretly from Alaska.

"What did they look like?" I was hoping for someone tall and ugly. Tall meant it couldn't be Jane, ugly meant it couldn't be a vampire.

"Ugh, not short, not tall." Charlie squinted his eyes trying to remember the mysterious visitor. "Brown hair. Very dark eyes...possibly bluish-purple."

I tried to picture the person he was describing. It wasn't Jane. which was a good thing. But it didn't sound like someone I knew. Heidi, a vampire from Italy and part of the Volturi, had a strange violet colour of eyes, but she had long legs. Her description didn't match Charlie's.

"Are you sure she didn't have long legs?" I questioned.

"I'm sure," he frowned. "She had short brown hair, curly. She was medium height."

I knew my next question was going to sound odd, but it was the only way to confirm my suspicions. I cleared my throat and waited for Charlie to take another bite. I tried to relax. It wasn't anyone I had met, that was for sure. There was only one option left.

"Was she pretty?" I tried to sound nonchalant.

Charlie bought it, or pretended to. He nodded his head. "Yes, sure she was. Not as pretty as Alice though, but same sort of look, you know? Like an imp or a pixie." Charlie chortled quietly at his joke. I nodded and grinned stiffly.

Pretty. _Not as pretty as Alice though_,_ but same sort of look_,_ you know_? I could only guess that pale was included in that description. My visitor was part of the Volturi.

I shot my hand across the counter and ripped at the note. My hads were shaking. Charlie hadn't noticed, thankfully. I trembled as I read the note. It's elegant scrawl was large, straight, and beautiful.

_We will be at the wedding. Look for us._

Reida, of the Volturi

I released a silent series of gasping. My mouth gaped open as air dragged in. Gasp-gasp-gasp. The air stuck in my throat and cool, dry air pressed at the back of throat. I looked up to see Charlie staring wide-eyed at me. I faked an exasperated grin. I was sure that I looked stunned, and I wanted to work my wide-eyes to an advantage.

"Oh, wow, Reida is coming," I beamed falsely. "I am so glad she can make it. I'll have to tell Edward right away." Never mind, better change that for Charlie's sake. "No, I better tell Alice. She's in charge of most of the wedding plans after all. I don't have a head for this kind of thing. But hey, good for Reida."

I had no idea who Rieda was--probably just another high level guard--but I knew the Volturi. I knew the Volturi were coming. Alice was wrong about the Volturi not knowing the date in which I would become one of them. Somehow, they were coming, most likely to ensure that the promise went through. They were coming.

I heard a knock at the door, causing me to jump. "I'll get that," I gulped. _Please be Edward_, I thought, _not some 'Reida' vampire_.

I stepped hesitantly, dazedly, toward the door. I opened it and stared blindly at Edward for a moment. I then proceeded to leap at him, wrap my arms tightly around him. I dragged him into the kitchen without a word.

"I have some plans to discuss with Edward, about Reida being able to attend," I told Charlie. I pulled Edward up the stairs after that, not listening to Charlie's complaints or voiced farewell-for-now. I didn't stop until I had shut the door behind me, almost collapsing against it.

"Bella, you're shaking," Edward whispered, already wrapping his arms around me. I relaxed myself into his form, hiding my no wet eyes on his shoulder. I felt the note in my hand still.

"Edward, I don't know what Alice saw but...was it this?" I asked, showing the note. Edward nodded, taking it from my hand and reading it. His expression fiercened, his bright golden eyes narrowed.

"She saw your reaction," he said. "Not the note itself." He was trying to calm himself down, for my sake. I was thankful for that. "Bella, you have nothing to worry about," he assured me. "They only want to ensure that we go through with our promise. They will not do anything to disturb us. Don't worry, Bella. Every thing is fine."

I nodded slowly. I knew Edward was right, but I had a bad feeling. Why would they bother to warn us if they were just showing up for the wedding? Why would they need to warn us? And the question that was bugging me was why Rieda visited Charlie to get him to deliver the note. Why not send someone familiar directly to the Cullen's house? Why me?

I stared into Edward eyes, studying his stalled reaction. He was struggling between anger and assurance. I could only guess that some of the questions going through my mind were going through his. I closed my eyes and didn't shed another tear. I inhaled deeply and tried to stop the trembling of my lower lip. Edward's cool finger touched my lips and my eyes shot open. He was studying me worriedly.

"What are you thinking?" His voice was a whisper.

I closed my eyes again. I wasn't sure how to answer. My cheeks felt hot, and Edward's cold hand caressed it, cooling it to a more comfortable temperature. My breathing staggered. I thought over the questions still running around in confusing marathon, clouding my head.

"I'm thinking...why we have to go through this every time," I edited, opening my eyes. "I was getting used to this, adjusting, and already, more to worry about."

"It does seem that whenever happiness is in our reach something, or someone, comes along to ruin it." He sighed. "But that doesn't matter, Bella. The Volturi can't do anything to us anymore. I will protect you from them. Then, after we're married"--a smile spread across his flawless lips--"they will have no reason to harm you. They will disappear from our lives. We can disappear if you want to." He kissed my forehead. "Bella, I promise to bring you happiness."

"You already have," I breathed, beginning to forget my worries. It was hard to keep the gloom with Edward around. He was too perfect for sorrow. "Still,"--I was determined to get my thoughts out to him before I wound up kissing him, which, would distract me too much--"why didn't they just go directly to you? Why send a message through Charlie? They must have something to hide."

"Maybe," he said. He was pondering over my questions, I could see from the reserved anger in his eyes, but the smile on his lips stayed. He was probably thinking about the same thing I was. "That's not for you to worry about. Alice is taking care to watch their every move. She'll know exactly when they come. I promise you, Bella, they won't hurt you."

* * *

**Chapter 7: Birthday Presents**

"_I don't scare you_?" _he asked playfully_, _but I could hear the real curiosity in his soft voice_.  
"_No more than usual_."  
_He smiled wider_; _his teeth flashed in the sun_.  
_I inched closer_, _stretched out my whole hand now to trace the contours of his forearm with my fingertips_. _I saw that my fingers trembled_, _and knew it wouldn't escape his notice_.  
"_Do you mind_?" _I asked_,_ for he had closed his eyes again_.  
"_No_," _he said without opening his eyes_. "_You can't imagine how that feels_." _He sighed_.  
_I lightly trailed my hand over the perfect muscles of his arm_, _followed the faint pattern of bluish veins inside the crease at his elbow_. _With my other hand_, _I reached to turn his hand over_. _Realizing what I wished_, _he flipped his palm up in one of those blindingly fast_, _disconcerting movements of his_. _It startled me_; _my fingers froze on his arm for a brief second_.  
"_Sorry_," _he murmured_. _I looked up in time to see his golden eyes close again_. "_It's too easy to be myself with you_."

I peered out the window as the scenery fell behind us--not that there was much to see. My mind had faded out again, drifting to another moment with Edward while I continued to waist my time with him in reality. I forced myself into focus again. I faced Edward, noticing that his eyes were on me, not the road--where they _should_ have been.

"You're a rule breaker, aren't you?" I mocked. He puzzled over my comment while I rolled my eyes. "You speed and you don't watch the road. You're a vampire, but you're a _vegetarian_." Again, he puzzled. It always surprised him how I knew so the smallest details of his life.

"How is that breaking a rule?" he asked; still puzzled.

"It's not a rule, I guess. It's a norm." I stared straight ahead and summoned all my knowledge about vampires of legend verses the real thing. "I don't know much, but I know that most vampires shrink away from the sun--but it's sunny today."

"But we'll be inside," he reminded me. "No one will know the difference so long as the sun's light does not touch me directly."

"People do notice, Edward," I argued. "You can't not notice someone who dazzles you. Every person in the room--male or female or both or neither--you dazzle just by being there. You could be sulking and still look perfect."

"I doubt that," he murmured.

"Doubt or believe, I'm not making this up," I continued. "That's something you do have in common with vampire legends."

"You've read about dazzling vampires?"

"Vampires have two reputations," I said, ignoring his interruption. "One, in a short word, is dazzling. Beautiful, but pale--or, beautiful and pale, depending on your tastes I guess."

"Which would you say?" he chuckled darkly.

"The second," I grinned; I was answering his question subtly and moving on to my second statement. "The second persona is bloated. That, is obviously not true."

"Bloated?" He frowned and his eyes--finally--dashed to the road.

"Strange, eh?" I laughed. "But that was when they were associating this illness with being a vampire. Have you heard about that?"

"I have."

"Apparently, some research shows that supposed vampires were possibly only victims struck by porphyria. Causes sunlight sensitivity." I paused, thinking over the legends again. "I've done a great deal of research over the years, but how the bats come into the equation is explained no further than vampire bats. And that's only because they drink animal blood."

"So, you're saying that I'm an over-sized bat?" he joked.

I frowned. "It also is an explanation for werewolves too."

It was quiet then. I waited for him to say something. He didn't.

"Causes increased hair growth," I explained. "Or are werewolves not hairy in real life? Are the bald?"

"No," he glowered. "They're hairy..."

"Thank you, Edward," I beamed, re-settling into the seat, straightening my back proudly.

"For what?"

"For being honest," I clarified. "I now know for sure that there are werewolves." I paused. "How about unicorns?"

He chuckled freely, wildly at that. "Unicorns? You're really into the paranormal, aren't you?"

"Yes," I agreed quietly. "It's all I've ever known. I like fantasy. It's only in dreams that things makes sense." I sighed dreamily. "I remember reading something somewhere...it was very pretty...but what was...ah." I smiled, closing my eyes lightly. "A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world," I quoted. "Oscar Wilde."

I took note that we were half way to Port Angeles and it had only been five minutes. Edward's driving would kill me one day, if the seven days warning didn't kill me first from stress. I wasn't going to let Edward know, but I was really worried. I was afraid to lose. If he still loved Bella Swan more than me at the end of the seven days, something awful would happen. He couldn't protect me from it. I knew that for certain; I knew it as much as I knew I loved him; there was no doubt.

"So how about faeries?" I asked, lightening the subject.

"No, no faeries."  
"Ghosts?"  
"Not that I've seen."  
"Pity. How about zombies?"  
"Only metaphorically."  
"Banshees?"  
"No."  
"Aswang?"  
"I've never been to the Philippines, so I couldn't truthfully answer that."

"Let me know if you ever do," I grinned sheepishly. "The aswang, I think, is really just another vampire, if it is real."

"You're probably right," he agreed. "Chances are it was one of my kind's idea for a joke, to have some fun. Sick, sick, fun."

"How about Frankenstein?" I wanted to change his tone from bitter to joking again--it had gone foul with the aswang.

"That's just a novel," he reminded me. "Entirely fiction."

"Hey, just checking!" I lifted my hands as if in surrender. "I want to be well-informed, just in case someone introduces himself to me as Frankenstein or a werewolf or a mummy. I'll be better prepared if I'm not caught off-guard."

"I doubt any mythical monster would dare harm you, Steph," he vowed. "I wouldn't let them; so you don;t have to worry."

"That's means a lot," I thanked graciously. "But, it's nice to know in case I am startled and need to call you to save my life." I thought struck me. "Which, reminds me," I began nonchalantly. "May I have your number? It would be nice to know that I could call you, if I was ever in trouble."

"You can always call me," he promised. "But I'll be in earshot. You only have to call my name."

I blushed. "Let me guess," I sighed, staring out the window as Port Angeles appeared in my sights. "Less than five minutes now? Is there ever a chance that someone could ask 'are we there yet' with you around _before_the destination is reached?" He chuckled, and I watched the needle drop as the Volvo drove into city limits. "I will never see another NASCAR race and think fast again. Edward Cullen, you would frighten a race-car driver."

"I'm driving at a perfectly law-abidding speed," he corrected glumly. "There's nothing wrong with going a little over."

I hoped that he hadn't used that line to woo Bella. It wasn't a pretty fault, having a need for speed. I rolled my eyes and remembered my days as a young child when I would get car sick--except, that wasn't from speed, that was from reading in the car. I got gotten into a habit of reading everywhere and never putting my newly required novels down. I found out that was a bad idea after vomiting in the car over five times. I never read in the car again since then.

"I know," I sighed wearily. "I shouldn't complain. You did agree not only to spend a dull birthday with me but also to use you speed-car wheels to get me here. I'm sorry I wasn't being grateful." I smiled slyly at him. "I promise to be perfect now."

He seemed to want to say something at that, but thought better of it. We remained silent for a while after that. He only spoke again to ask me which restaurant, and I only spoke to answer him, and I was going to speak again to give him directions, but he assured me that he knew exactly where he was going.

I couldn't have agreed with him more. The restraunt was straight out of my dreams. I instantly knew that this was the place where the interrogation had began, where Bella confessed to knowing Edward's dark secret; here was where Bella first knew Edward, fully. It was a special place--after all, it's not every day that you confessed to the guy you love that you know he's a vampire. I would know, I was the one of the lucky few given that opportunity.

Edward parked the car and sweetly held the door open for me as I got out of the car, and again, he held the door to allow me easy entrance into the restaurant.

The host was female, gray-haired, but cheery. She had laugh lines. She was several inches taller than me, from what I could see from afar. She was chatting on the phone, answering to a customer, when her eyes fell on Edward, and then me. Her eyes shot between the two of us. I smiled at her when she began glaring at me, gaping as the person on the other end yelled at her.

"I'm sorry, sir," she was saying. "We're booked all Sunday. I'm sorry."

"Edward," I whispered, facing away from the weary-eyed waitress. "She looks familiar to me. How about to you?" He shook his head. "I'm probably imagining things," I sighed sadly. "I'm trying to make a connection where there isn't one, just because she looked at me funny, probably in reaction to what the customer on the other line said."

"Probably," he agreed.

The host hung up the phone. Edward walked me up to where she was at the desk, his hand barely on my shoulder, keeping a cautious no-contact space between us.

"A table for two?" the host asked, her eyes scrutinizing Edward with concerning judgement.

"We have a reservation," I said coolly, ignoring her hostile looks. "Dwyer, for 4:30."

She checked her charts, her tables, and grabbed two menus. "You're early, but I can seat you know," said sharply, losing all cheeriness from when Edward and I had first walked in. "Follow me."

She directed us to a booth, which was in the very back, tucked in the corner. I was pleased that I would have a private setting to be with Edward, but I shivered when imagining the implications of the booth as well, if I were with Renee. It would be awkward conversation. She would have begged me to leave Forks with her, which was something I would never--could never--do.

"Your server will be right out," she told us. We thanked her, and she walked away, glancing back icily between steps.

"She wasn't very pleasant," I commented dryly. "She had a passion for hating you. I wonder why..."

"No idea," Edward mumbled, distracted. I was curious about his reaction, but the host's actions took my full attention. I spied on here while flipping through my menu, slowly, page by page, barely glancing at the meal offers.

I watched her catch a waitress's shoulder to gossip, still sending fleeting glances at Edward. The waitress had short black hair, laugh lines, and tired eyes. She had probably been working there her entire life. I was sure that she had been pretty once, when she was young. Now, she looked forty-two or so.

The waitress sped over to a younger waitress that was now walking toward us. The older waitress mumbled something smilingly at the younger one. The younger one looked nervous, hesitant, but eventually she gave in. The older waitress thanked her and nodded. The young waitress simply hung her head and stalked off to another table. The older waitress approached us.

"Hello. My name is Amber, and I'll be your server this evening," she greeted, her eyes flashing to Edward between her words, barely notcing me. "What can I get you? Drinks first?"

"Sure. I'll have a Coke." _It sounded like a question_.

"And you?" Her question was directed at Edward, but her eyes fell on me, and she looked suddenly pale; she looked almost as pale as Edward.

"Two Cokes," he said, smiling wryly at me.

"I'll be...right back with that...," she assured us. She looked lost when she wandered away.

"De ja vu, right?" I groaned. "I'm sorry. I should have known."

"It isn't your fault, Steph."

"I feel like it is," I grumbled. "And I'm sure that that's the waitress from my dream...only older. Don;t you think that's her...a waitress from long ago...?"

"Yes, that was her," he agreed grimly. "Only circumstances like this would occur with you."

"Am I a bad-circumstance magnet?" I joked. He seemed to consider that. "Oh, come on," I laughed. "You just said it wasn't my fault."

"A magnet can't help being magnetized," he argued, expression all but blank thanks to his cocked brow. "Not your fault."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright. Now, what do you plan on doing now that you've agreed to dine with me? Do you plan on shoving a bread stick down here and a little something else there?"

_Right on cue_, _the waitress appeared with our drinks and a basket of breadsticks_. And, for a second, I thought she looked eighteen years younger. But she wasn't. Her speedy return had hid her years.

"There now, are you ready to order?" she asked pleasantly. Her deranged mood from earlier had disappeared completely.

I looked at Edward. He looked at me. I found his answer. "Sure," I simpered at the waitress. I took a swift glance at the menu and saw that classic 'famous' line over a meal option. I picked that. "I'll have the mushroom ravioli."

Edward and the waitress looked feignable. The waitress nodded her head dumbly, eyes wide and round. She turned to Edward, but found no voice to speak. Edward ushered her away with a quick "Nothing for me," without her protesting for a second.

I nibbled quietly at the end of a breadstick, wondering how I had frightened both a vampire and a waitress by ordering mushroom ravioli. Was it possible that there was garlic in the mushroom ravioli and vampires were feigned off with garlic? Did the waitress have a garlic allergy? That _was...possible_. Not probable.

"Are vampires allergic to garlic?" I blabbed spontaneously.

"No," he chuckled distantly. His mind was somewhere else, but when I looked at him, his eyes were on me.

"How about mushrooms?"

"It has nothing to do with that."

"Oh." I hadn't thought that he would catch on so quickly. "So, what does it have to do with?"

"You...you even remind the waitress of her," he admitted.

"Oh." There was no other word possible to sum up the odd emptiness I felt. Nothing was clear.

"Anymore questions for me?" he probed, changing the subject to lighten my mood. It worked. I laughed.

"No, not yet," I scowled mockingly. "How about you? Do you ever have any questions?"

"I do." He leaned forward, swiftly, his body crossing the table in one movement. I leaned forward instinctively--after flinching, of course. His flash of movement had startled me at first.

"Ask away," I whispered, sipping my Coke slowly. My eyes centered on his, searching his dark gold eyes for a hint of what sort of questions he might ask.

He shot questions at me from that point until the mushroom ravioli came. He tried not to hint at it, but it would surprise him more when my answers weren't like Bella's. When the answers were the same, he expected it. When the answers were different, his guard was broken through and I could see that his curiosity was immense and, to me, unfathomable.

Edward steered clear of making me think if Issie, even when I assured him that I didn't mind. He wanted to talk only about me and my feelings, not my surroundings. He promised me that another round of questions would be dedicated to that. I groaned at that.

"You don't like all these questions?" he mused; his eyes smoldered at me, knocking the air out of me.

"It's not that," I disagreed sharply. "I don't like the answers." His expression turned puzzling, and I rolled my eyes. "I don't like how dull I am."

"You're not dull."

"Edward, you're a dazzling vampire and I'm an ordinary bookworm," I told him. "I am dull."

"You're not dull, and bookworm you may be...but you are very...fascinating," he grinned.

"Fascinating...like a good book?" I mocked. "Face it Edward, I'm a day dream believer who reads books and hopes that the love of her life won't abruptly change his mind on a whim or a reminder of some other life."

There was a long pause. "The love of your life?" Edward asked. I nodded. Edward sighed. "I promised not to leave you, didn't I?"

"You did," I recalled. "But..."

"But?"

"I hate to bring this up," I whispered, leaning closer as I spoke, and speaking softer. "But I'm...not Bella." I heard the twinge of guilt ring inside me as I hurt him. "I am me, and if it's not me you love, then you'll leave. I know that. I don't expect anything more. I wouldn't even expect you to feel guilty if you did leave because of that."

I leaned away, and sighed. A cold hand touched over mine, held mine, but no words were spoken for a long time.

"Steph?"

"Hm?"

I twisted my head back to face him. I had turned away and--for what felt like the trillionth time in the last two years, or last few days--shed a few tears. When I faced him again, I allowed my mouth to gape and my final tear to fall down my cheek.

Edward, who's face was only inches from mine, reached over to brush the tear off my cheek. The cool chill that wiped it away was soft, and, after only a short time, I was adjusting to the chill. My cheek warmed under his gentle caress.

It wasn't another second before he was kissing me. It wasn't like the first time--rushed, with passion. This kiss was delicate, sweet. I didn't push myself forward, but found that Edward's iron strength pulled me forward--not hard, but with enough passion and strength that I couldn't resist. I wouldn't have wanted to. His hand, prickling cold on the back of my neck, steadied my head, which was nearing swoon mode. I kept my eyes closed, and wondered if--somewhere in between my head rushing, heart tripping over itself to beat at all, and the automatic smile that pulled the corners of our lips upward, stopping the kiss--I had actually had fainted. I felt woozy enough to have fainted. My head was swimming, and my eyes must not have been working right because all I could see was him, smiling tenderly at me. Was it possible to faint during a kiss, and wake when it was over? It would be a sad thing to be unconscious during the best moment of my life.

"I won't leave you," he promised again. "I know now that I love you, so I cannot leave you."

"That's good," I murmured, unable to move my eyes away; my face felt warm, but I didn't blush, not even under the watch of his careful, gold eyes. I kept myself in check, just in case he wanted to kiss me again. I wouldn't swoon if he tried again.

Edward straightened suddenly, laughing quietly to himself. His eyes darted to somewhere in the restaurant, and he smiled at someone. I was about to look around, when I noticed, after the slightest drop in the temperature, a hand on my shoulder.

"Hello, Alice," Edward greeted cheerily. "You couldn't wait another second?"

"Well, she knows about us, so why take the slow path over here?" Alice piped, her voice like soft, high ringing of bells.

I assumed it was Alice anyways. Her hand was on my shoulder. She had short, spiky black hair. Her skin and grace with which she held herself was the same as Edward. Which, confirmed that it was Alice. Only another vampire belonging to Edward's family would receive such a friendly greeting from him. Besides, Edward had only on other sister, and I had already met her, as well as his mother. This pixie-like girl, emitting a wonderful energy, had to be Alice.

"Edward," Alice beamed. "I haven't seen you in so long, and you don't even want a hug?" And without further invitation—in a swift movement my eyes didn't catch—her arms were around him, with her cheek pressed to his. "So how are you? Never mind," she growled. Her face twisted and her tone became scolding. "Why did you wait so long to call? You should have called me sooner."

He shrugged. "Sorry, Alice," he grinned, his eyes turning to me again. I smiled. "I had a lot on my mind."

"I know," Alice said; her tone was sad and low. She then smiled and her tone was cheery again. "So, this is Stephanie Dwyer?"

I nodded when her eyes switched to me. I met her gaze smilingly. "Yes, that's me."

"It's nice to meet you," she said pleasantly. "I'm Alice, in case you didn't know."

"Oh, I know Alice," I grinned. A quick movement caught the corner of my eye. "And you're Jasper, right? I'm pleased to finally meet you, the both of you."

Alice smiled warmly. She had been expecting me to know who Jasper was right from the start. And, by the looks of his un-startled smile, she had told Jasper to expect me to know him.

"Hello." Jasper's voice was just as alluring as Alice's—but not as much as Edward's velvet tone.

His smile was also that of a movie star, with white, gleaming teeth. He was probably the kind of guy that everyone saw and fainted straight away. From what I had heard, blonds were desirable. Personally, I had never felt that way, but, even I was a little blown away by the sight of him. He was as startlingly beautiful as the others in the Cullen family. His eyes were darker than Alice's or Edward's. I wasn't worried though. I had Edward to protect me if the strain was too much for Jasper—and besides that, I trusted Jasper.

"Would you care to join us?" I offered. "I don't think we were leaving yet."

"Sure." Alice smiled sweetly at me, concentrating hard, her focus on my eyes. Alice plopped down beside me, and Jasper took a seat across from her, next to Edward.

"So, how is Renee?" Alice asked conversationally.

"Oh, I think you know better than anyone Alice," I replied. "You have been watching out for her."

"I have been taking a few glances here and there for Renee," Alice confirmed choppily.

"That's not what I meant," I said. "I said for her. Not for Renee—but I do appreciate that too."

"Oh."

"So, how was your flight over here?' I questioned lightly, not wanting to continue dampening Alice's spirits. "I'm assuming that vampires can't fly on their own."

They all laughed at that.

"No," Jasper answered. "We can't fly."

"That's too bad," I sighed, putting my chin in the palm of my right hand. "I was really hoping for a come-to-life scene from _Superman_. That'd be fun."

Jasper and Alice exchanged glances, and they both shot Edward looks. He ignored them, and smiled at me.

After a few minutes, I noticed Edward's eyes flicker to Alice. Jasper was watching her carefully as well. I turned my eyes on her, and found her staring blankly, but focused. She shot me a frightened, wide-eyed stare so suddenly that I jumped. I shot my eyes away, questioningly to Edward. He had already masked his expression to a calm, unworried one. I wasn't fooled, but I decided to play along, considering that Jasper was sending out calming waves. I remembered his power, and remembered how it felt. There was no resisting his power.

"So, the flight was fine?" I pressed, feeling the blush return to my cheeks.

"Yes," Alice answered sharply. "It was fine." She paused. "I think we should go." She stood, my eyes blinking, unseeing, at the spot she had just been. I looked up and she was beside Jasper, and he was standing too. Edward was moving at a slower rate, but still fast for a human. I stood dumbly and got out my wallet from my pocket.

Before I knew it, I was being dragged out the door. I nearly gasped when I felt the icy air hit me. It was late, it was dark. I hadn't noticed all the people in the restaurant leave. I hadn't noticed that it was past ten o'clock. I hadn't noticed the twilight pass so quickly. Already, it had left me, and I was being dragged off.

"Wait," I protested. "I didn't get a chance to pay."

"Don't be silly," Alice argued, smiling again. "It's your birthday, isn't it? You shouldn't have to pay."

"Yes, but Edward didn't even—"

"Don't worry over it, love," Edward whispered, caressing my cheek. "It's my pleasure."

"Oh, okay." How could I protest when his cool breath was seeping through me and his cool touch warmed every part of me? My emotions were to distracting. What was done was done. I could live with that.

My eyes moved just in time to catch Jasper mumbling something that looked like "same reaction." I wondered what that meant.

I was allowed into the front seat again. I was allowed to sit next to Edward and smile at his face again. I was happy to see—even when I was still a little afraid that his eyes weren't on the road—that Edward was staring at me. Always, he was studying me. My reactions, my breathing, and—from what I could see—my scent. I wouldn't have cared if he was studying me like a lab rat, testing me. But, in truth, I knew I wasn't being tested. He really just wanted to know what was going through my head, and why I reacted as I did. It astounded me that someone as amazing and interesting was actually interested in _me_. So, knowing that, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

I could, however, worry over what Alice had seen. I hadn't understood her strange moment in the restaurant before, but now I recognized it for what it was. It had been a vision; Alice had glimpsed the future, and from the way she had looked at me, it looked like my future wasn't looking too good.

I was ecstatic when I found that Edward wasn't going to drive me to my house; he drove me home instead. I was grinning wider when we continued toward the highway, and then turned just off it, leading into a thick drive. I bit my lip to hold in my excitement when the trees parted, and we were on the Cullen's driveway. I sighed upon seeing the white house, and heard soft giggling behind me. I heard the mumble of "same reaction" again.

Edward opened the door for me, and I stepped out of the Volvo cautiously, watching out for Alice and Jasper. I saw the door close behind them. Edward walked me toward the house slowly, extremely slowly. I wondered if he wanted to keep to my human pacing or if he was stalling. I knew that when I was suddenly tightly held against his chest and his lips touched mine that he was stalling. I didn't care though. Why complain when you can kiss?

"I'm never going to get used to this," I whispered shyly into his shoulder.

"Used to what?" he puzzled. I could tell he was still smiling.

"You," I answered truthfully. "You're too perfect."

"If it would make you feel better, I would gladly do something awful," he offered.

"Like what?" I scoffed. "Bite me?"

"Not that tempting."

"Oh, that's too bad," I sighed. "Are you sure? I was hoping I was at least a little tempting."

He shrugged. "I haven't been tempted by blood in over nineteen years."

I thought that over. Bella had been the stopper on his thirst. I was grateful to her. I could tell that Edward was the type who would die of guilt if he ever hurt anyone, if he ever killed someone he cared for simply to taste their blood. Bella deserved some points for that—which meant that I needed to score a few more points of my own. I would have only six days left after midnight.

"But, honestly," I grinned slyly. "Not even a little bit desirable?"

He shrugged. His crooked smile appeared along with smoldering eyes. "Do you really want me to say you're tempting, so badly that you rather I bite you than—?"

"Not my point," I interrupted. "I was just curious." I sighed and tried to step back, but Edward's iron strength held me to him.

"You are tempting to me in other ways than your blood, Steph," he whispered, his lips brushing my ear as he spoke. I felt his lips kiss along my jaw line and then down my neck, then up again, stopping at the corner of my lips.

"I believe you." My voice sounded weak and lustful. He chuckled, admiring his effect on me. I blushed and turned my eyes down. His smoldering eyes were too much for me.

"Would you care to come in?" he asked. I nodded. "I thought so."

"I was being polite," I said. "I was waiting until Alice had finished telling Jasper about her vision. And I assume you were listing, or maybe you already read her mind and found out what the vision was."

"Sharp," he noted. "You could tell so quickly."

"I've had experience," I explained. "I've had more than one dream of Alice having a vision out of the blue. It scared me half to death the first time. It did take me a while to understand what it was though. I'm glad I figured it out right."

He chuckled. "It's nothing to worry about," he lied. And, for once, I understand what it felt like to listen to a badly told lie. Edward's eyes were worried, no longer smoldering. It was an easily spotted lie. I didn't even know why he tried. I had six days leftover; Alice having a bad vision about me was expected.

"Steph," Alice greeted hesitantly. "You wanted me to look out for Phil, right? Edward asked me over the phone this morning. I'm happy to say—as I'm sure Edward has told you—that he will make a full recovery. He's going to wake up Sunday in the afternoon."

"Wow," I admired, slightly shocked. "That's precise. You're amazing Alice."

Alice shrugged. "It's a gift."

"And, you too," I grinned accusingly, turning to Jasper. "Don't think I don't know. You can keep it from me if you want, but don't lie in saying that nothing is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong," Jasper assured me.

I rolled my eyes. "In any case, I'm glad to have met the both of you."

"And we are glad to have met you," Jasper said, standing closer to me. From all of my dreams with him in it, most of them involved him keeping a far distance for precaution. He wasn't keeping that distance anymore.

"Very glad," Alice agreed. "You managed to get Edward to call me. I appreciate that more than you could ever know."

"M-my pleasure," I stuttered. "I didn't do that on purpose, but I was hoping to meet you. Edward's just nice enough to…"

Edward's eyes on me crashed my train of thought. I had no idea what I had been about to say. It didn't matter though. Alice's angelic giggle and Jasper's mumbled of "same reaction" told me that I had said enough—which was a good thing, because my mouth was barely able to stay closed, never mind say something more.

Edward was definitely not the kind of guy anyone got used to. I had a feeling that speaking with coherent sentences was going to be difficult with him around. We would just have to stick with kissing and staring. I could handle that.

"You can play, right?" Alice asked, gesturing toward the piano. "Edward hasn't played in so long…I was hoping to hear him play—you as well. Maybe you should play something together…?"

Wow. That was a secret fantasy of mine. How did she know that? I had—even when I was a little girl and believed in Prince Charming, mermaids, and fairy godmothers—wanted to play alongside someone in a duet. It was a romantic notion, and it was something I saw in a movie once. I always wanted to know how it felt. The girl had been smiling in the movie. I was blushing already. Hopefully, I wouldn't mess up. That would be embarrassing.

"Steph?" Edward's voice was alluring, even more so than usual.

"Sure," I said, my voice sounding higher than normal. "That could be fun."

Fun, ha, that wasn't the word to use. I couldn't think of another one that wouldn't prove me to be a desperate creature who was hopelessly devoted to him, and to my fantasies about him. I walked past him and opened to cover. I turned to smile at him, and he was beside me. He let me sit first, being a gentleman. Thankfully, the bench was wide enough for two—barely, so I felt the need to scoot farther away, when I really wanted to scoot closer.

"What should we play?" I asked. "Any suggestions…?"

Alice was silent. "Is that alright…?"

I didn't understand. 'Is That Alright' was not a tune I recognized. I assumed that she had expected him to be listening to her thoughts.

Edward's fingers began playing the elaborate tune of the lullaby. I mimicked it in a higher key. He played more of the melody, while I tried to keep up with his beautiful speed and rhythm. Thankfully, I did not mess up—too badly. My fingers fumbled over the last note, when I caught Edward's eye on me again.

Alice clapped her hands. "It sounds just as beautiful as the first time I heard it, maybe even better."

There was an odd silence ringing in the room. It was deafening, and I wasn't sure how long we stayed there. I was a little fidgety, but Edward was a stature beside me. I knew it wasn't possible for him to kill over out of the blue, but the way he was still, it was unnerving.

"Breathe, Stephanie," I heard his voice say. I realized that I was holding my breath.

"Sorry," I said. "I forgot."

He laughed light-heartedly at that. "You forgot to breathe? How is that possible?"

"It happens," I shrugged. "Don't tell me that has never happened to you?"

"It has," he answered slowly, and then his tone sped up. "But I am not the one who will die without air. You, love, need it." His voice had broken on 'die', and I'm sure everyone—as Alice and Jasper had not left yet—understood why.

"Right," I agreed quickly. "I wouldn't want that. Note to self: Breathing is important, do not forget."

I then found that my fingers drifted to the keys again of their own will. I played a chipper melody, a familiar one; a small, repetitive song that I was sure any one older than six could play. It was a personal favourite of mine—besides the lullaby and the tune I know knew to be Esme's favourite.

"Do you mind?" I asked.

Edward shook his head. He played the second part of the song for me. I had chosen to play it for that reason exactly. It was another duet. I didn't want the moment to end. Especially, if it meant that his thoughts would linger on death—or on the death of Isabella Swan.

We played it for a few verses longer than necessary, and I was pleased to find that he adjusted to my rhythms and speeds wonderfully. I played the song faster than most could, which was a problem when you weren't even playing the melody part. Edward, however, was perfectly matched to fit my speed. Reluctantly, we finished the song.

"Play another?" Alice pleaded. "I haven't heard you play in so long."

"That's fine," Edward said, after another brief moment of silence. I assumed that Alice or Jasper had suggested another song. "Do you know 'Claire de Lune'?"

I immediately started playing the first few lines of the song. "That one?" I asked, stopping my fingers.

He nodded. "Then that's the one."

I nodded as well. I gestured for him to start. I smiled, he smiled. I was filled with the warm fuzzies that everyone talks about, but I had never felt before. I listened for a second, caught up in watching him play. It took me a second to remember that I could actually play. I straightened my shoulders and began my part of the piece.

I didn't know the song well, but Renee had played it quite a few times, and it was nice to listen to. I had played it once or twice, for Renee. She had told me that I needed more practice. I knew she was right. I was a little sad when she was proven right again. I still needed more practice. I had improved, but not enough to be perfect—not that I could ever play near Edward's level even on my best day.

"_Tell me what you're thinking_," _he whispered_. _I looked to see his eyes watching me_, _suddenly intent_. "_It's still so strange for me_, _not knowing_."

"Is something wrong?" Edward asked.

I snapped forward, aware that I had been blankly watching the wall. "I'm fine," I lied. "Perfectly A-okay."

He didn't believe me, I could tell by the way his grin mocked me. "You stopped playing. Why then, if not because you were distracted by something?"

"Well..." Good question. Did I have a good answer? "I was distracted. But, does that have to mean something is automatically bad?"

"No," he frowned. "But you're an open book"--he smiled now--"and I can tell that you are lying. Won't you be honest with me and tell me what you are thinking? What could possibly be so troublesome?"

"Six more days," I answered, furrowing my brow. "That's the problem. I have no idea what disaster I am expecting! I wish Alice would tell me."

"She doesn't know."

That caught me off-guard. "She doesn't know?" What was I to think about that? "What was her vision about? Did she see me at all?"

"No," Edward said, a peculiar expression crossing his face--a questioning, worried one. "She didn't see you at all."

"She didn't see me at all," I repeated dumbly. It was a simple sentence, but I didn't get it. "What does that mean? Am I going to leave an never come back?" My voice broke on 'never'. "That's impossible. Why would I leave?"

Why would I want to leave? What force could possibly force me away from Edward? From Forks? No, there was no force. What was so horrible, that was coming in six days, that would zap away my future from Alice's vision? Nothing could do that. Alice could see every thing and everyone. No exceptions. So, why not me? What glitch was coming to mess up my life?

Another horrid though occurred to me. What it wasn't that I left, but it was that I lost? Maybe losing could be much worse than dying. Maybe it meant being separated. That was definitely a fate worse than death. Being separated from Edward was an impossibility. I would sooner repeat Issie's dramatic exit than be parted from him. I had a feeling it would hurt too much. If it was anything like the nightmares were he left, than surely, I would die from the pain of separation anyways. Losing was the only explanation I knew of that would block Alice's vision.

After all, there was no secret race of people that Alice couldn't see with her gift that would block me from her gift as well. It was losing that was going to cause my disappearing act.

"I wouldn't leave," I said. "I am going to go see Phil, but then I'm coming back."

Quiet. The house was very quiet. I spun around. Alice and Jasper were gone. Oddly, I had noticed until that moment.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Steph?"

"You will be here when I come back, right?"

"Of course," he assured me, smilingly. "I will always be right here." His hand clasped mine gently. "Forever."

I blushed. "I wish I could promise the same, but in six days...who knows."

"You won't die, Steph," he said, sounding angry now--not at me, at something or someone else. "I promise that you won't. There is more than one reason why Alice couldn't see your future. I can bet I know exactly who is responsible for that."

"Who?"

"Nothing you need to be concerned with," Edward said grimly.

"But if they can shield themselves from Alice's eyes then--"

"Trust me," Edward cooed; his hand was stroking through my hair. "They are no threat to us."

"Let me guess," I sighed. "You don't want to tell me?" He smiled apologetically. "That's fine. I can wait, Edward. I trust you."

"Thank you," he whispered. He kissed my forehead, and brought my fingers to his lips and kissed them. I was scarlet coloured again, but I didn't mind. The way he was looking at me excused any of my faults.

"Happy Birthday," he said sweetly, quietly. His kissed my lips, passionately, so that remaining on the bench was no longer possible. He carried me, scooping me up in his arms, to the couch. I noticed it was dustier than most couches I had ever seen, but the actual cushions themselves were clean. I was happy to be sitting next to Edward, lips locked--even if I was kissing him while laying in a trash heap or in freezing rain while standing in mud or in a janitor's closet in the dark or anywhere else, it would still be perfect.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure," he whispered sounding nearly as breathless as I was.

I curled my fingers through his hair, and braced myself to him. His strength was impressive, and I found myself jealous. If I was as strong as he was, I would hold tighter. I supposed I admired him as well, he managed to not crush me with how close I was. If I was in his place, I would have crushed him. I shuddered at the thought.

Edward took that as a sign that I was too cold to be close to him. His lips left mine and he kissed my forehead. He leaned off me, and I pulled myself up, and launched at him again.

"No, not yet," I groaned. He laughed, I kissed him again. He refused to give in though. He had an iron will. Stupid, iron will. I would rather he had given in.

"Don't you ever get tired?" he asked.

"Of kissing you? Never. Do you?"

"No," he chuckled. "No, but that's not what I was asking."

"I know," I sighed. I brought my legs up onto the cushion and curled up beside you. "And, yes, I do. I think it's impossible for someone not to get tired even vampires...except...that's emotionally tired, not physically. That's not really the same thing is it?"

"No, it's not," he agreed, ever-smiling, as if some hope had returned to him. I hoped it was me.

"And a human could stay physically un-tired if they drank lots and lots of coffee or consumed mass amounts of caffeine," I continued. "Except...then they might die of OD-ing."

"A coffee overdose?" he mused.

"Yes," I grimaced. "It's possible. Renee did that a lot when she went back to school. She was late a lot of the time. University is stressful." I paused and thought it over. I came up with a perfect argument. "Which is exactly why I shouldn't go. There is no need to purposely add more stress to my life."

"More?" he questioned, worried again, unsmiling. "What has you so stressed?"

"Six days," I reminded him. "And I am a little worried about Phil. I trust Alice's vision, but I can't just stop worrying. It's hard."

"I understand." He paused, giving me a second to study the extent of his worry. "But I promise you, Stephanie, there is no need to worry. Every thing is fine."

"I know." I yawned. "Yikes," I piped, and then yawned again.

"That's what you get for getting up so early in the morning," Alice said. I spun my head around--wide-eyes again--to see that she was directly behind me. "Hi, Steph. I had a vision that Edward would be talking to be via phone after you woke up. Turns out I accidentally called him right before he called me. Either way, I came here. So, no complaints."

"Right," I smiled sheepishly. "How could I forget?"

"It's okay," Alice cooed, patting me on the head. "You're tired. And you will be asleep in approximately...half an hour. Nope, twenty minutes. Five minutes...ten minutes."

"Make up your mind yet?" I laughed.

"I can't make up my mind until you do," she reminded me. "You will fall asleep in ten minutes if you go home, thirty minutes if you debate about going home, and twenty minutes if you argue with me about going home."

"And if I stay? If I don't go home?"

Her wise eyes saw what I did not. Clearly, I would be going to my house no matter what. There was no point auguring. There was no betting against Alice.

"I chose ten minutes," I yawned. I made a move to stand, but my feet wobbled, so that Edward had to catch me. "Wow, I guess I am tired."

"You are," Alice agreed cheerily. "Best get your rest now. One never knows what might happen in the future."

"But you do Alice."

"Not always." Her voice was sad, distant. I saw Edward's lips turn downward into a frown. He agreed with her.

* * *

Stupid, shiny Volvo owner. Why did the ride home have to be so smooth and fast? Why did the soft way he held me make me feel like dreaming, so that I was so comfortable, as if I was already sleeping?

I was asleep by the time Edward pulled past the trees. Whatever they said--if they said anything--I couldn't have heard it. If Alice described her vision or if Edward brought it up, I missed whatever discussion it caused.

I could have been wrong. Maybe they were silent the entire time. But why would Alice tag along if she was only going to sit there? I doubted that. Sure, she had missed her brother; she hadn't seen him in so long. Still, she was going to have hours with him once I was home, alone, sleeping. Why sit quietly in the car only to drive me home?

I stirred once, but I had no idea where I was. I felt cold, so I gripped harder to whatever was supporting my weight. It was colder that way, but the smell was amazing. I buried my face into the fabric, and inhaled deeply, sighing and yawning after that. I heard my new favourite sound in the world. I didn't wake though. My mind wasn't functioning enough to understand that it was a person and not a piece of furniture that was supporting me.

I lost the smell--and the cold--finding that my body was covered with something warmer. I kept my eyes closed and was about to drift again when I started hearing voices.

"But, Edward," she was saying. "No future at all! That can only mean on thing."

"I know, Alice," he whispered. "But what about in six days?"

"I can't see that far ahead," she said, her worry rising. "If she is going to get passed meeting them or one of them...I can't see what happens after four days from now."

"In four days? That's how far you can see?" He paused. "Are you sure?"

There was another pause, I nod, I assumed.

"Earlier, she was talking in her sleep," her murmured. "She said my name, like Bella..." He paused, longer this time. "Alice...I think I'm in love with her. Is that wrong?"

"It isn't wrong," she growled. "Why would it be?"

"Because...I love Bella," he said, sadness in every breath and tone in his voice. "I always will."

"We all will," Alice reminded, softly, but forcefully. "But there's nothing wrong with falling for someone else, Edward."

"Rosalie thinks it's wrong," he countered sharply.

"Of course she does," Alice groaned, her voice still hushed. "She didn't like Bella at first either, remember? I think you should take it as a good sign."

"Rosalie thinks it's wrong because she's too much like Bella," Edward explained. It was quiet for a long time. I was beginning to wake up; the conversation had stirred my brain. "She thinks I'm fooling myself."

Alice sighed again, heavier this time, pushing out the weight that comes with having to make the right decision. "I think," Alice whispered. "Maybe that's why I like her so much already. She looks the same, and Jasper says that they have the same emotional scope." She paused. "It could hurt a lot you know. Not the differences, the similarities."

"I know."

"Different in a good way, maybe?" A long pause. Alice sighed again. "Let's go," Alice ordered delicately. "We need to talk about this more. Standing over her won't protect her anymore than standing around at home. We don't have any worries until Tuesday, or very early Monday if you want to be specific."

"Are you sure?" Silence, which, was what I could guess was Alice answering in her mind. "Fine, we can go."

Cool fingers brushed my hair and cool lips pressed on my forehead. I stirred again, motioning now. I turned toward the door, but, when I opened my eyes, no one was there.

"_Sleep my Bella_. _Dream happy dreams_. _You are the only one who has ever touched my heart_. _It will always be yours_."

And that's when the guilt crept in. The sweet whispers of my dreams were only that; the sweet whispers of dreams. It was another life that I longed for. I was not that life though. I was not the first. Bella was my first love's first love. I couldn't replace that, not even if I were to travel back and time and take her place. There was no taking her place. I was the second place, the consolation prize for losing. Edward had lost; a price that cost Bella her life. I knew that know. It explained the guilt that Edward felt. They hadn't split up and then she got hit by a car. He felt responsible for her death, which meant only one thing. Bella's death was not that of a natural death. Edward had lost his first love prematurely, with the intent of marrying her, with the intent of dying before living without her. Every thing he felt for Bella Swan was what I felt for him. I was the third wheel in the equation. He was the 'x' and she was the 'y'. She was Y1 and I was Y2.

I couldn't ever take up that dead part of his heart, the part that had died alongside Bella. I was in his heart to stay, that I knew for sure. Because of the way he looked at me, understood me, kissed me, I knew that in some way, no matter how small or large it was, he loved me. He loved me enough to want to stay with me. However, he would always love Bella. Maybe not more, maybe not ache for her with every breath or thought, but he always would. No matter how small or insignificant the feeling was, it was real, it was true and irrevocable. It was a love that neither man nor monster, time nor space, hope nor despair, person nor concept, or anything imaginary or real in all of history past or history still to come could ever erase. Edward Cullen was in love with Isabella Swan. 1 + 1 equals 2. It was impossible to change.

So, I cried into my pillow, knowing that he loved me. I cried knowing that if I wanted to, if I got passed the six more days, I could be with Edward forever. I cried, feeling guilt a hundred times over, thinking about how all my life I had never understood Bella Swan. I had been her, in my dreams and in my twisted reality growing up, but I had never understood her. Now, I knew her. More than ever, I knew she was me. I was trying to replace her love with my love. I was trying to kill two birds with no stones at all; I had no hope of a triumph; I could not replace a first love with a second love. I cried knowing that I was going to lose. Edward loved Bella; I loved him; Bella was going to win, dead as she was.

As a ghost, Edward loved her more than ever. How was I supposed to make Edward love me more than her in only six days? She had two years of his life at least. I had been _away_ from him for two years! There was no comparison. I had already lost.

Happy birthday, Stephie, you lose.

I glared at the clock. My birthday had been over long ago. I cried into my pillow again. This time, I refused myself guilt. Tomorrow, after I woke, I would do whatever it took to make Edward love me more than Bella. And then, I would beg him to come with me to Jacksonville--or maybe time apart would be good?--absence makes the heart grow fonder? After Phil woke, I would be all Edward's again. Edward would love me. I would win; I would be happy. And, more importantly, I was certain that I could make him happy.

Maybe we were an odd pair--a stupid, guilt-ridden lamb with a majestic, beautiful and strong lion. But hey, I had watched the story of the lion being raised by lambs enough to know that peace was possible. If Edward was a lion, and I a lamb, then I could mold him to love me. If I was kind enough, if I allowed him to see the real me, maybe he would decide that rather than chew me up, staying would be nice. I would be the lion-tamer for six days; I would heal the wounds of loss still engraved on Edward's unbeating heart; I would prove that I loved Edward more than_ she _did. That wasn't impossible, because I felt it was true. Edward and I--the odd couple that we were--fit together, like a puzzle. He was the smoothed piece, and I was that oddly shaped one that, somehow, fit perfectly next to the smooth one. It was something unquestionable, like 1 + 1 equals 2. It just worked. It was perfect.

I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep; a dreamless, happy sleep. Overall, it had been a happy birthday to the girl who was no longer going to be a carbon copy; the girl who was only six days away from her destiny. No pressure.

* * *

**Review please. Many thanks. I hope this shoved a million questions to your mind, and maybe a few answers...? I'll hope.**

**And yes, I did take the top part from my other fanfic, the Breaking Dawn one. I was too lazy, so sue me! That will probably be the only time I do that--hopefully. I warn you in advanced, laziness may overtake me again! Sorry.******

I do not own any of the characters except Stephanie and Issie Dwyer. The plotline is mine, but _Twilight_, _New Moon_, and _Eclipse_, (and soon coming, the eagerly anticipated _Breaking Dawn_ and _Midnight Sun_,) is not. That's my little disclaimer.  
I am not Stephenie Meyer, I am only Stephanie Ross. Pity, pity.

THANKS FOR READING! Have a wonderful day. Updates will probably come Thursday.


	8. Chapter 8: Sunlight

**"Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." - Benjamin Franklin**

* * *

I stared blindly at the note in my hand. It was the third one I had received. I couldn't ignore this one, like I had the others. Edward had seen the first one, he had comforted me when I worried. I had briefly told him about the second--leaving out the detail that some group of vampires (claiming to be the Volturi) had Jacob Black captive--and told him that I wasn't worried. Edward had known I was lying, but since he couldn't read my mind--and I had torn up the note and tossed in the sink, so that not even Edward could fix up the note to read it--he would never know what it said. This third note, however, was the pinnacle of trouble; there was no escape from the threat on this third note.

_Come to the chapel at noon. If anyone comes with you, your friend will die. If you do not show up, he will also die.  
Be warned, we do not have patience to dawdlers. Come quickly, or else never see Jacob Black again.  
- Jane -_

It was definitely Jane. Why had she come here, to Forks? What possible reason could she have for hurting Jacob? For killing me? What had I done to her? I had never spoken to her; the only contact with her was through my fearful eyes and her red irises burning hot with rage--but that was because her power didn't work on me. That was one incident. The only other contact--when my mouth was also shut--was when Victoria's newborns had attacked and she had been sent to clean up. That was hardly a reason to kill me. What else could I have possibly done?

I glanced up quickly at the clock, shaking as it did. I had only two hours; I had two hours until my death. I was going to die for Jacob Black. I wouldn't get to marry Edward, and I wouldn't become a vampire. I had four hours until the wedding. I had two hours until I was expected to show up to meet Jane--and whoever else she had brought with her, Rieda included.

There was no hope for me! I couldn't tell Edward. He would want to come or he would tell me that I couldn't go. I _had_to save Jacob, even if it meant dying. I had to go alone. I had to die alone. I had to leave Edward, and I had to go without Alice finding out. How was that possible? Maybe she had already seen? Maybe it was already too late--had she already sent Edward over here to stop me? I wanted to believe that she would see my decision, before it was too late. Worst case scenario: I wasn't making my decision quick enough and she wouldn't see me leave until it was too late to save me.

I could live with that--well, technically, I would be dead. But I could rest in peace knowing that the Cullens and the Hales were safe from Jane's wrath.

I shuddered at the thought of my death. It wasn't fair. I was about to have every thing. I was going to be happy. My life with Edward was in reach, after so many struggles in the past two years. Now, with a sudden sweep, Jane was here to ruin it. She was going to take my life away from me. Worse than that, she was going to take me away from my love, from Edward. The memory of the hole flared in my chest.

I gasped and closed my eyes, clinging to the kitchen counter. There was no way to do this. Alice was coming in two hours to take me to the chapel, and she was going to get me ready for my wedding. If I I wasn't here, she would go to the chapel right away. Jane's plans weren't working; they were flawed; couldn't she see that? Or--I shuddered again--maybe that was what she wanted. She wanted to hurt all of them, not just me.

That was something I couldn't allow. I had to take drastic actions, even if that was the most painful thing I could ever do. I had two options.

Option one: I could call Edward, cancel the wedding, and beg him not to show up at the chapel. He would come to me right away and demand an explanation, and he would plead with me. He would be heartbroken if I lied. He would be angry if I told the truth.

Option two: Wait here for an hour and a half. Go to the chapel. Wait for Jane there. Save Jacob Black, and then be killed at the hands of Jane and her band. If I was lucky, Alice wouldn't see my decision until it was too late. I would be dead and Jane would be gone. That was the best case scenario.

There was a third option, but it was one I would never pick. I would never sacrifice Jacob Black for my happiness. That option was an impossibilty. So, why bother thinking on it? Answer: because I wanted happiness. I wanted to be happy, but, as it seemed to always be, Jacob was in the way.

But it didn't matter. Whether Jacob had ruined my life or saved it wasn't the issue. The problem that needed to be solved was how I would save him. I had two options. I just had to pick one. Would I see Edward one last time, or would I venture to my death alone, and afraid?

* * *

**Chapter 8: Sunlight**

My dream that night had been simple. I was flipping through catalogues--wedding catalogues, to be exact. I had been talking to--or rather debating with--Alice over plans for my wedding to Edward. I was blushing when I remembered the dream in the morning. I was thinking about it over and over when I was preparing a warm omelet. I was thinking about when I gulped down a glass of milk and I still wasn't done thinking about it after I had shoved breakfast in.

I was picturing myself in a wedding dress--Anne of Green Gables style--next to Edward. He was perfect of course, and he was even more stunning in the black tuxedo. I hummed the wedding march when I was in the shower. My face was hot from the moment I woke up and it wasn't cooling down. I had a feeling that I would be red-faced all day. How could I not when I was imagining marrying Edward Cullen? Obviously my subconscious was telling me something. Maybe it was a sign that things would work out. Could the seven day warning have been just part of a nightmare? I wished it was.

The phone rang. It was Renee, on her cellphone.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Stephanie, how are?" Her voice was ragged, and she was rushed--warm, but rushed. "How was your birthday? Did you manage to find someone to go with you? I know it was short notice. Was it Cat? She's nice. I know she had that...that _wedding_thing, but she wasn't busy, was she? Did you even go? I know you don't like to get too fancy with birthdays, so I hope that the restaurant was alright. I've only been there once before myself."

"Mom," I interrupted. She hushed. "Cat was busy, and so were my other friends. The resturaunt was fine, I did go, Mom."

"Oh! That's good! With who?"

Hm, how honest was honest? "I went with...a...boy," I answered shyly. "And it was _fun_."

"A boy?" She was stunned. "I didn't know you knew any boys. Was this a friend?"

"No," I said hesitantly, aware of her skeptical tone. "No, it wasn't a friend. It was...more of a...a date."

"Well, Stephanie," she sighed. "That's fine. It was your birthday. Whatever makes you happy."

"I am happy, I was happy yesterday. Thanks, Mom," I thanked whole-heartedly. "How is Dad? Any better?"

"Yes," she said, her voice getting weary again, happy but weary. "The nurse just told me that he's getting better wonderfully. He needed surgery that we couldn't afford and someone miraculously paid for it! I owe whoever that was. That saved his life. They say the chances are that he'll wake up tomorrow at earliest and Tuesday at latest." She yawned. I could tell she hadn't got much sleep. "It's the most wonderful thing, Bella, honey. I'm so happy he's alright."

"You should get some sleep, Mom," I urged. "You're tired. You don't want Dad to wake up and worry that you're going to pass out. You'll be able to spend more awake time with him if you get some rest."

"I'm going to," she said; I could hear the smile in her voice. "I'm not too worries anymore. I know he'll be fine. I'm going to get some sleep, and then be back later tonight. I was thinking of sleeping at home tonight. I'll have plenty of rest after that."

"I'm coming tomorrow," I told her. "If there's a chance he's waking up tomorrow, I have to come." There wasn't just a chance, it was definite. Alice had seen it.

"Not today?" she asked.

"No, you need rest today. I'll come tomorrow, that way you don't have to worry about meeting me. I'll come whenever I can tomorrow," I promised. "I'll see you at the hospital, okay?"

"Okay," she repeated. "I'll see you at the hospital. Tomorrow. I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you too, Mom." I hung up the phone. Then, there was a knock at the door. Who could that be?

I went to the front foyer wondering who it could be. I opened the door slowly. "Hellouu--Edward?"

Sure enough, there he was. He was smiling at me. I invited him in--of course--and puzzled over his appearance. For some reason, I had expected a vampire's appearance to be sudden--and not needing the use of doors. Then again...some vampire legends I had read claimed that a vampire couldn't come in of it's own accord. He or she had to be invited in. I wondered over that for a bit.

"Why knock?" I asked.

"What?"

"Why not come right in?" I said. "You're welcome to."

"Thank you," he grinned. "I'll remember that."

"Please do," I insisted. "Drop in anytime, out of the blue. Except if Renee is here. I suggest you knock then. Unless...does she know that you're a...vampire?" That was surprisingly difficult to say.

"No, she doesn't," he answered, looking at me, and then glancing away. "I think you forgot something."

"What?" I glanced down and gripped the bath robe tightly. "Oh. Oops." I blushed. "Uhm, please, excuse me for a slow human moment."

Edward nodded stiffly, his crooked smile flashing his white teeth at me. I grinned, trying to stifle my embarrassment, as I headed up the stairs, making sure that my bathrobe wasn't too short in the back. I made it to my room, and closed the door behind me. I leaned my back against the door and stared blankly out my window, the one with white curtains on the wall opposite my door. I couldn't really see outside it, but seeing nothing at all was calming my crazed heartbeat. My face cooled slightly, enough to remind myself that I had departed only to get dressed.

I rummaged through drawers, and found a blue T-shirt and white shorts. I put those on and brushed me still damp hair. I scolded myself for going to the door, forgetting that I wasn't dressed. If it had been anyone but Edward, the situation would be unapproachable.

That thought struck me. I was embarrassed not because Edward had seen me in an unpresentable state, but because if it had been anyone else, I wouldn't recover from it. I was totally comfortable with Edward. Not surprising, considering I loved him more than anything, but it was strange for me to realize the extent of how easy it was to be around him. What was surprising was that I actually cared what anyone in this town thought about me. I cared about my reputation.

That was silly. I hadn't care about what they thought about me before, had I? Maybe I had. Maybe I had put on a disguise for them, so they wouldn't see me grieving in the past two years. I had been faking contentment as I healed. With Edward, it wasn't fake. But I was still so used to being forced into my persona for everyone, for Renee, for Phil, for my 'friends'. I was so quickly letting down my metaphorical walls with Edward. Already, I had separated myself from the real world. I had been planning our wedding in my sleep. I was crazy for dreaming about it, but it felt more real than anything I had done in the past two years. I took a breath of air for the first time, an this morning, I had woken from a two year long dream. I had a feeling that--ignoring the fact that I had six days left until do or die--I was going to be living for the first time in a long time.

Maybe I was rushing in to fast, but this was how I felt. It didn't feel like a crush, not even from the first time I saw him. I knew there would be something more. And now, I knew that Edward was my life. I wasn't going to stalk him or go crazy thinking about him, but if he did leave, if I did lose, I would go crazy with grief. I had a feeling that I couldn't live without him again. I had waited two years for him to show up, and he was here, and, in some small part of his heart, he loved me. That was enough incentive to suggest that wanting to be with him for life wasn't too bad. Not only did I love him, I trusted him. I wanted to have and hold him, no matter what ups and downs we had, whatever time we had left, or til death. It was rushing too fast, but it still didn't feel like fast enough.

I took my time down the stairs, thinking as I went. I paused on the bottom step. I heard a chuckle beside me. My eyes flashed up of their own accord to see Edward, just beside the stairs, leaning toward me, hand on the railing. I should have flinched, seeing his face so close, but I didn't.

"I wish I had amazing superpowers," I sighed. "Or rather, vampire powers. I would never be late for anything ever again. And even better...I could keep up with you then."

"You think so?" he asked, leaning closer to plant a kiss on my lips.

It was a small peck, not nearly enough to satisfy me, but it was a kiss. I was happy for that at least. I smiled shyly and decided to not dawdle on the staircase any longer. I practically hopped into the kitchen, joyful from the good start to the morning.

"Did you dream last night?" Edward asked.

"You're not going to ask if I slept last night?" I spun on my heels and crossed my arms over my chest, staring up at him, captivated by his now topaz eyes--they were lighter than yesterday.

"Well, if you dreamed, then you must have slept," he countered. "I was asking two questions in one."

"Killing two birds with one stone," I murmured. "Right. Then yes, Edward, I did dream." My cheeks flushed scarlet upon saying his name. I wouldn't admit it, but whenever I said his name my stomach did a flip. Which, was impressive. I had see diagrams of the human anatomy. I stomach flip was hard to do in a crammed space.

"May I ask what you dreamt of?" he purred, leaning closer to me again.

Holy crow, I thought, he's amazing. Somehow, my mind had gone blank. His scent reached me and I breathed it in. His eyes smoldered at me, alluring in their subtle way of looking interested.

I wasn't sure why he was questioning me so much. I could easily say no--not that he'd believe the lie--but it seemed that he already knew the answer. But how would he know?

I gawked. "How?" I asked. "How do you know?"

"What?" He froze, not icily, but playfully, as if he was expecting me to know the he knew.

Yet, I knew the he knew that I knew. But he must have known that, especially by the way he smiled crookedly at me. So, he knew that I would know that he knew what I knew...that I had been dreaming. Did that make any sense? I must have messed up that train of thought. Bottom line, he knew that I would know that he knew that I had been dreaming last night. He knew about my dream. But how?

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," I accused. "Somehow you know I had a dream last night. How? And...you don't know what it was about, right?"

"On the contrary," he said, eyes smoldering still. "I know exactly what it was about. You talk in your sleep."

"No, that's impossible," I argued.

He arched an eyebrow in confusion. "Impossible?"

"Renee and Phil too me to a sleep-doctor or something to get me to stop sleep-talking," I explained. "She told me the other day. So, it's not possible." He shot me a skeptical look. "Okay, it's possible," I admitted. "It's just unlikely. Something had to have triggered it again. But there's nothing traumatic or...or..."

Edward. He had triggered it. How? I wasn't sure. But unless he was lying--which he would never--I was talking in my sleep.

"Fine," I said. "So how come you were here? Did you sneak into my house?"

"No," he chuckled. "Remember, Stephanie, you fell asleep in my car. I carried you in."

"Snap," I muttered. "I didn't get a chance to clean my room up." I sighed. "And I know what you're thinking."

"How is that? Can you read minds?"

"You're thinking about why I'm not freaked out by you listening to me talk in my sleep," I continued. "I'm not freaked, I am merely in protest to you hearing my thoughts escape through my faulty wiring."

"Faulty wiring?" He seemed perplexed by the idea of my being imperfect. I liked that.

"Yes, faulty wiring," I repeated. "Just tell me what you heard. Maybe I can lie and pretend it was something other than what it really was, depending on how much you heard."

"You were planning our wedding with Alice," he answered plainly.

"Shoot, no way out of that one," I mumbled. "Would you believe I know another Alice and wedding is code for naughty lingerie party?"

"I think you should stick with the truth," he suggested.

"Yeah, you're probably right," I agreed. "Naughty isn't my thing, and Alice is the only Alice I know."

"I thought so."

"So was it really just my dream or was it Bella's?" I asked quietly, my voice lower and sadder than I intended it to be.

I waited. There was no answer. There was no sound for a long time. I wondered if he was considering lying to me or if he was guilt-ing over Bella's demise again. I hoped that neither option was true. I hoped to look up, see him smile at me, and he would say "Yes, yes it was all your dream, love." That sounded nice, it would be something I would want to hear. I looked up, ready for disappointment.

"Yours," he said, "only yours."

I smiled. "Thanks." I blushed. I had never been so happy to hear a lie before.

The silence didn't last long before Edward spoke again. "Do you mind going out somewhere today?" he asked.

"No," I answered happily--surprised, but happy. "Where to? Lead and I shall follow."

He chuckled. "For a short little hike," he said. "You wanted to see the sunlight's effects on me, didn't you?"

"I had asked...hinted, really," I recalled. "But to answer your question, yes. That'd be great."

"Then we'll go," he said. "I'll lead, and you'll follow."

"Gladly. Anywhere you go, I want to go."

* * *

What I had had in mind was a trail, or some paved path that lead to someplace fancied up. I was getting the impression--as Edward's Volvo parked in the veil of trees--that we weren't taking the marked path.

"Please no," I begged.

"You don't have too--"

"No!" I waved my hands in the air. "Lead the way, Mr. Vampire. I hope you know where you are going. I am not too good with directions myself and I will get lost."

"I won't let you get lost," he promised.

"You'll have to be very patient," I warned him. "I move at a snail's pace."

He chuckled. "I'll be patient."

"Sure you will," I agreed sarcastically. I was facing him now, and my mouth popped open of it's own accord upon seeing him. I had been expecting to see the Edward I was become accustomed to, but, once again, I saw him in a new light.

_He turned then, with a mocking smile, and I stifled a gasp. His white shirt was sleeveless, and he wore it unbuttoned, so that the smooth white skin of his throat flowed uninterrupted over the marble contours of his chest, his perfect musculature no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes. He was too perfect, I realized with a piercing stab of despair. There was no way this godlike creature could be meant for me_.

But, he was. If I could survive past six more days--and this hiking trip--he could be mine. I was going to win. I had to.

"Let's go," I sighed. "But if I trip over an invisible fallen tree, I blame you, know that."

"I'll take full responsibility," he swore. "But even if you did fall, I would catch you."

I blushed at that. "Thanks. Now, take the lead."

He smiled his perfect uneven smile, and began to trudge ahead of me. He was only a short distance ahead, just a leap away if I needed him. I tripped once, and in a flash of white, his icy touch supported me. I mumbled thanks and we continued on our way. I tripped only once more, and again, he caught me. _When his straight path took us over fallen trees or boulders, he would help me, lifting me by the elbow, and then releasing me_, hesitating to let go of me. That made my heart race, knowing that he wanted to keep contact with me as much as I wanted to keep contact with him.

_For the most part, we walked in silence. Occasionally he would ask a random question that he hadn't gotten to in the past two days of interrogation. He asked about my birthdays, my grade teachers, my childhood pets_--I hadn't had any, I admitted. Phil was allergic to dogs, I hated cats, and gold fish were too much work.

And then, I asked him questions. I wanted to know every thing and anything I didn't already know. I asked about his human life, every thing he knew about that. I question about Carlisle and Esme, the two parents he obviously cared for. He respected Carlisle, from what I could tell from his tone. It seemed that Emmett was as I had seen him in my dreams and that short time when I had actually met him. He had that booming laugh, and was quick to show his care-free nature. Alice's story seemed sad to me, but I was glad of it's happy ending. Jasper, too, had a sad past. Rosalie's story reminded me of her judgement of me. I wondered if she really had been so quick to judge Bella, as she had me.

I prattled on forever, it seemed. Edward told me that he couldn;t understand my interest in him. Every night, for the past two years, and even memories from my childhood, they were all about him and his family. Why would I still be interested? Hadn't I heard and seen enough? No, was my simple answer. I told him that it was riveting.

_He laughed at that, louder than I was used to--bell-like echoes bouncing back to us from the empty woods.  
_  
The jade-green of the forest grew around me, and then shrunk, covered in murky light. We had been hiking for several hours, using up most of the morning. I didn't mind, so long as I was with me. I just wished that the hike wasn't so long. I wondered if I dropped dead in the forest what Edward would do about that, though, I didn't ask him. I had a feeling he wouldn't be as good-humoured as I was about the joke. The canopy was causing my mind to go crazy, it's green never ending, and if I told Edward that he would regret taking me. I was too happy to be there to have him darken the mood. I had learned so many things about him, his past, and his family's past. I knew about as much as Bella did. I was slowly gaining the advantage.

_"Are we there yet?" I teased, pretending to scowl.  
"Nearly." He smiled at the change in my mood. "Do you see the brightness ahead?"  
I peered into the thick forest. "Um, should I?"  
He smirked. "Maybe it's a bit too soon for _your_ eyes."  
"Time to visit the optometrist," I muttered. His smirk grew more pronounced_.

Eventually, I could pick out a new lighting from the scatter of trees ahead. There was a yellow glow instead of the green. I shot Edward a questioning look, and she smiled. I was right. We were almost there. I was eager to see where he was taking me. Being a vampire, I was expecting great things. It had to be amazing. Or maybe it was an abandoned graveyard. No, Edward wasn't that kind of vampire. I tried to get it through my head that he was more angel than blood-sucker. That made my imagined scene easier to picture. Obviously, there was sunlight there. But what else? I let my mind wander and imagine what the place--the one we were approaching quickly--could possibly look like. I hoped it wasn't just a sunny spot with trees. That would be dull.

I walked by Edward's side now, maddened by how he managed to make no noise at all while every step of mine caused something to stir or snap. I ignored my footsteps, ignored sound, and focused on the pool of light that was ahead of me, just at the edge of the trees. I stepped into it, taking cautious steps forward. I smiled unevenly upon seeing it. Definitely not what I had been expecting.

It was a small meadow, round, with wildflowers. Specks of violet, white, and yellow wildflowers. There was a soft, quiet stream somewhere off, barely splashing against some smooth surface, rocks perhaps. The sun was pouring down on me from directly overhead. The grass was soft, lusciously green, not at all like the shade of the jade-green forest behind me. A gentle breeze swayed the flowers, the grass, and it patted at my clothes and hair. I smiled, searching for Edward, half expecting him to still be behind me. I turned to my right, and there he was, watching me carefully, unsure of my reaction.

I wanted to tell him to go ahead, take a step forward, show off whatever it was you wanted to before. It didn't seem like the time for words though. The moment was too precious for trvial words. Actions and motions were needed. I had to wait on Edward. He was hesitant, so I decided to give him time. I walked casually around the meadow, not allowing the sunshine to touch anything of me but my hand. It was warmth that poured onto my hand. I walked around to the opposite side of the meadow. I stopped by a thick tree that had a repairing open spot on it, as if one of it's branches had been torn off.

That's when I understood. I studied the spruce more carefully. _As if you could outrun me_.

I spun around, taking in my surroundings anew.

_He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce. He balanced it in that hand for a moment, and then threw it with blinding speed, shattering it against another tree, which shook and trembled at the blow.  
And he was in front of me again, standing two feet away, still as stone.  
"As if you could fight me off," he said gently."  
_  
I stared at him for a moment, and he seemed to understand my confusion. I wasn't sure why here of all places, one of Bella's places with him, why he would take me here. I wanted to tell him to take me back, that it wasn't worth it. He was still in pain. Was he trying to erase her now? To remove the memory of her? Was it for me or for him? Or was it for her, that now, he stood on the edge of the forest, debating a step forward, debating entering a new life. He was hoping, dangerously hoping that this was the answer to every thing. I wanted to tell him that I wasn't worth forgetting Bella over. But I didn't want to, so I stayed silent. I hoped he didn't see the tears fill my eyes. I held them at bay, but they were there, as was the guilt, the guilt that came with tearing someone's true love from their heart.

I silently hoped, not for myself, not for Bella, that Edward could keep her in his heart as well as me. I wanted him all to myself, but that wasn't right. He had loved, and he was still in love. He loved her, and I believed he loved me. I didn't want him to forget her though, I wanted him to love me more. Selfish as I was, I wasn't cruel. I knew what pain he was going through, I could see it. Bella had been his every thing, just as he was my every thing. If he took a step forward, he would be leaving his past self behind in the shadow, he would leave Bella there in the darkness.

_Edward seemed to take a deep breath, and then he stepped out into the bright glow of the midday sun_. And I too, took a breath.

I cried for Bella then, and I cried because..._Edward in the sunlight was shocking._ I knew then that the meadow was Bella's, and that there was no way I could take it from her. Edward stood, glittering ang glowing as if his skin was incrested with a thousand white diamonds, but I wanted to go, get far away. This place was Bella, and I wasn't her. Edward smiled at me warmly, but I was afraid. I could hear Bella's voice in this place, feel her prescence. Edward was unaware of my fear. Why? Because I smiled at him, I pretended for him. I kept my fears silent. He knew something was wrong, but, seeing as he couldn't read my thoughts, there was no hope for him.

I ran forward and threw myself at Edward, half-blinded by his brilliance. His arms swept around me, and he kissed my hair. I waited until I had calmed down. I wasn't anywhere near tears anymore. I ready to face him again; I was ready to face Bella's Edward, and make him Stephanie's Edward. He had left Bella and Bella's Edward in the shadow, and this Edward of sunlight was mine.

* * *

**Okay, so I lied. I said Thursday update. Sorry! I went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I was daydreaming about Caspian all day long, and I had to right a story about how amazing he was. I got distracted. Sorry.**

And I know it's short, but I couldn't think of what to say. Originally, I was going to just let Steph stroll around in the meadow and repeat basically the enitre chapter Confessions from Twilight. I decided that was dull, and I also decided that this hinted more to what is going to happen in six days.

Please review! Thank you! And I promise never to lie to you again about when an update is! Thank you!


	9. Chapter 9: Wake Up Call

**Advanced warning: I have not spell-checked this. I was in SUCH a hurry to post this. My sincerest apologies! I hope words are translatable to English and not Can't-Type-ish.  


* * *

**

**"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." - Epictetus**

* * *

I was a little afraid--both for my life and for theirs. They hadn't come yet, but they would. I knew them. I loved them; they were my family. I knew they wouldn't abondon me.

Which, made things all the worse.

I had found out that I was capable of sneaking away. Alice hadn't found me--yet--and Edward hadn't chased after me. I had only minutes to spare, and I was sure tha Jane knew that. She wanted to torment me and keep me until my family showed up to rescue me. I was afraid that she would hurt them. In this one case, they were more breakable than I was. Jane could hurt them; Jane _would_ hurt them.

"Hello, Bella," Jane greeted. I spun around to face her, eyes wide. "I'm so glad you could join me. You've hardly changed since I last saw you. Ever so slightyl...another year older, right, Bella?"

I nodded. I drew in a breath to steady me. I was here for one reason and one reason only; I would not be delayed by my fear. I stared directly at Jane and gathered all my strength to speak. "I'm here, now let Jacob go," I demanded in a shaky voice.

She laughed, child-like but eerie. "Bella, Bella, are you so nieve? So easily fooled?" I puzzled over her words, and she grinned, showing off her gleaming teeth, looking more frightening than she had in Italy. "Bella, we never had your friend. Jacob Black was never our prisoner. We've never even met."

That took a while to sink in. When it did, it hurt. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I gasped silently for air, unsure of how to hadnle myself. I couldn't decide if panicking was the right thing to do or if I should try to escape or just put on a brave face. I couldn't handle any emotion. I stared blankly at the pew beside me. I caught the flower bundle, and I brushed my fingertips against the ruffled tulip. Alice had done a lovely job. I looked to the alter and wondered if praying would be appropriate. Edward was insistant that I would get into heaven, I wouldn't want to let him down. Praying might help get me into the gates of heaven--not that it would matter. There would be no heaven if there was no Edward.

"Bella, do you know why I asked you here?" Jane asked icily. When I didn't answer, she continued. "I asked you here to kill you Bella. I asked you here to lure your family here as well. Do you want to know why?" I nodded carelessly, only for her amusement. "Aro has been favouring Edward and Alice lately. He can't wait until the two of them join him. You as well. He's convinced that you will have amazing powers, some special ability. He wants the three of you to join him." She moved forward noiselessly, now only inches away from me. "Not to mention," she spat, her red iris' raging. "He can't wait to see his old friend Carlisle again! How can I compete with that!? How can any of his pets compete with that!? All he wants is _you_! You and your family."

I refused to show any fear, even though she was close enough to reach out and snap my neck if she wanted. I mustered my courage and clung to the haze that was enveloping my mind as the seconds of my life slowly ticked away. It was only a matter of time before she killed me. There was no stopping it. Not unless Edward came. It was going to be too late for that though.

"I don't really care," I whispered darkly. She snarled loudly, and then I felt the blow.

My back ached and burned from hitting th hard pew, and, thankfully, my head had hit the ground at an odd angle, which saved my neck from any damage. My arm twisted awkwardly behind my back, and I felt my entire body bruise. I was sore all over. My shoulders stung from where her icy hands had shoved me.

"You should care," she growled. "Bella, I am going to kill you. I think that your death might be of importance to you."

"I don't care," I repeated blindly. My eyes were unfocused, and they blurred in and out as I opened them.

"You will care!" she screamed, and her hand whipped out--lightly for a vampire, but roughly for a human--and scrtached my shoulder. She then dragged me to my feet, lifting me by my throat. Her grip was loose, and her evil grin twisted on her child-like, boyish face. Her red iris' matched the colour of the blood that leaked from my shoulder. "You will care," she repeated. "Bella, you will pay for pushing me from the spotlight. You will pay for taking attention off me."

I coughed and choked, gasping for any bit of air. She released me, and I collapsed--after hitting my head on another pew on the way down--drawing in as much air as my lungs could handle. Jane was still grinning, like an evil cheshire cat. I didn't look at her again. I face the gound, coughing onto the ground for a minute, and then nursing my awkwardly bent arm. It stung, and I wanted to scream for all the pain my body was in--I didn't though. I bit my lip hard, causing it to bleed. I glanced up once to see that my blood was tempting Jane.

It was going to be like last time, like the first time. James had lured me in with a false victum, and then he had injured me, forced me to bleed for him, and then he couldn't control himself. Edward had saved me last time, and I found myself praying--irony, praying in a chapel--that he would do the same this time. I had some small hope that Alice had a vision of me living, and that Edward would save me in time.

"Bella," Jane whispered, her voice cheery, mimicking that of a human child, sounding sweet. "I hate to dot his to you without a proper audience...but I want to kill you now, before _my_ friends arrive and kill you first."

My eyes went wide. "Who?" I choked out. I hadn't planned that she wouldn't be alone. I was going to not only be killed by Jane, but her friends as well. That meant that Edward and Alice and whoever else came to my resuce would be in danger too. How could I warn them?

"Oh, it's no one you know," she told me. "You silly thing. If I brought any familiar people, Alice would have seen them. It was tricky enough coming here without that little witch finding out."

"She knows you're here," I assured her. "I promise that you'll here of this from Aro. He won't like that you interveined!"

"Oh, he'll get over it," she disagreed hautily. "Once your gone, there's no need to care about what you might have become." She paused. "Same with your family. Once they're gone, there's no reason to linger over them. Aro will move on. He will love me better than you again."

I was about to protest, but her fingernails studdenly dug into my arm. I screamed, but her hand shot to my mouth. Tears filled my eyes as I silently screamed. My arm stung, burned, and felt frozen all at once. The entire arm burned, and the scratched, open, bloodied surface was stinging so much that it felt like my blood had been filled with dry-ice. My broken arm hung at my side, unable to defend me. My newly-injured arm continued to freeze and burn.

"That's pay back for only one small thing, Bella," Jane explained. "That was for deverting my masters's attention in the first place." She stood, taking a step back to admire her work. "And now," she continued, her voice a delicate, taunting whisper. "This is for keeping his attention. You, a lowly human girl." She leaned forward and snapped her teeth by my ear. "You are but cattle for the slaughter. And this is your time."

Before I knew what was happening, I was being scooped up into arms I recognized. I nearly fainted with joy when my eyes--blurred still--caught sight of my angel's face. I tried to reach up with my left arm, but it wouldn't move, all the bones in it were broken. I reached with my right arm and touched his face. I hoped he wouldn't mind that my bloodied hand had just touched his perfect face.

"Bella," he half-whispered, half-weeped. "Why? You should have told me. Oh, Bella."

"Sshh," I hushed, not wanting to hear him so distressed. "Just take me out of here, and...don't fight Jane. She has...there's more of..." I lost my voice, swooning suddenly. I woke instantly to Edward calling my name. "Sorry," I apologized. "I faint at the sight of blood, remember?"

He didn't laugh. He didn't find it funny at all. In all honesty, neigther did I.

"Edward, so glad to see you!" Jane cheered. "It took you long enough."

"And we're glad to see you two, Jane," Alice chirped in her beautiful bell-like voice, seemingly calm, appearing beside Edward.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Jasper said. He was beside Alice.

"Edward, normally I would want the kill," Emmett sighed. "But just this once, you can take her."

"Thanks," Edward chuckled, his voice dark, and still strained from seeing my injuries. "I was hoping I would get the pleasure." He looked down at me, eyes worried, frightened, and his face soft. "Always something new. This week we have Jane to deal with. The excitement never ends."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "A magnet for trouble, as always."

"I love you, Bella," he whispered, and then kissed my forehead--avoiding the bumped part that was beginning the bruise. "You stay here, stay safe..."--his eyes shot upward to glare at Jane--"...while I kill her."

I had never heard Edward use the word kill with such a blood-thirsty glare. He truly looked like a vampire. I would never tell him, but he frightened me. I agreed with his intention though. I wanted Jane dead; I wanted this over with. As soon as she was gone, I would go to the hospital, stay there and heal for a while, and then I would marry Edward. That wouldn't be so bad.

"You think you can take me?' Jane cackled. "No."

"I think we can," Jasper snarled.

Jane's eyes turned to him, and immediately he began writhing on the floor. Alice was wide-eyed and furious. She launched at Jane, but Jane's concentration turned to Alice then. Alice and Jasper sturuggled on the floor. I cried for them. I nearly screamed. I couldn't stand to see them in so much pain.

"No, no, no," I cried. "Edward, what can we do?"

"She can only use her power on three people at most, and that's when they have weak minds," Edward told me. "Alice and Jasper both have strong minds; Alice and Jasper's powers are proof of that." He set me down gentle on the back pew. "Stay, Bella."

"No!" I protested. "She'll hurt you too! Call for back-up! Let Emmett go around her while you--"

"I'll be fine," he assured me. "Shecan't even move from that spot. I can handle her quickly enough."

"Okay," I muttered, worrying still.

He was gone in a flash, and then I heard a loud crack. I heard deep, throaty chuckling. I heard mutterings in a foreign language. It was a rougher language, but the deep-voiced person spoke elgantly. I realized that the accent was French, so the words he was saying must be in French.

"I had no idea that you would be so difficult," the deep-voiced Frenchman said tauntingly. "Jane, I see now why these people troubled you so."

"I would get out of my way if I were you," Edward warned. I gasped when I realized that the loud crack had been Edward's body flinging into the front row pew. "I'm not in a forgiving mood."

The man--red iris', obviously a vampire--was huge. He wasn't as big as Emmett, but he was _very_ close. He had short, blonde, curly hair. He was wearing the traditonal Volturi robe. I wondered of the robe hid any of his muscle mass, if I was wrong and he really was the same size as Emmett.

"Finally," Emmett boomed, laughingly. "Some real fun. It's been a while."

Emmett was already squaring the new vampire off when my eyes traced where they were. The were circling each other, and, then, before I could blink, they were gone. I heard cracks and bangs here and there, seeing flashes of Emmett and the new vampire. It looked like Emmett was winning, but I couldn't be sure.

"What is going on here?" asked a female voice with a Spanish accent. "I thought Jane wanted to handle this alone?"

"Hardly," was Rosalie's response. I widened my eyes even more to see that Rosalie was standing directly behind the new vampire. "We will be the ones handling you."

I turned my eyes back to Edward, unable to watch Emmett and Rosalie fight for me. Edward wasn't anywhere near Jane. I didn't understand where he had raced off to. Then I heard another crack.

"Bella," Edward whispered in my ear. "I will keep you safe, I promise. There are a lot of them, but they won't hurt you. Don't exhaust yourself. I need you to be ready for Carlisle to take you to the hospital, alright, love?"

I nodded. I felt exhausted, and now that Edward didn't sound panicked, I was able to let the tiredness creep over me. Worry faded, and then rose with every crack and snap. I saw Edward flash past once, and then a body hit the floor. I looked away.

"That is quite enough!" roared a loud male voice. Movement didn't stop. Edward reappeared. "You! You are ruining Jane's plans. You will not defeat us so easily."

"I think I will," Edward growled.

The new vampire, less thick than the Frenchman but thicker than Edward. He was taller than Edward as well. He had a moon-shaped scar on his cheek, but the rest of his face was handsome. He looked thirty. He snapped his fingers and two more vampires appeared. One was a willowy and the other was short but bulky. The moves with grace, but snake-like, eerie and out of place. They grinned cockily at Edward, but Edward didn't move. He was still confident.

There was a flash of movement, and then I gasped at what I saw. Carlisle was holding back the big one, pushing him back, but barely. The short one had grabbed onto Esme's arm, even though she had his as well. She was determined, but seeing her fighting was so strange and so sad. I was forcing Esme, my second mother, to fight for me. I looked for Edward. I noticed that the willowy one was missing.

Alice and Jasper were still writhing on the floor. Jasper was on his knees and glaring at Jane. Alice was wincing, and struggling to put on a brave face. Jane looked weary. I hoped that meant that her power was draining, and not that she was getting bored with her victums.

I glanced gazed away fro the horrific scene, teary-eyed and finding that breathing wasn't working anymore. My eyes caught the red-stained side of the pew. The white ruffled-tulip was stained with blood, and it dripped a sinlge drop onto the floor. I realized that I was bleeding, and heavily. It hadn't stopped. I was feeling faint, tired. I wanted to sleep. I knew that if I fell asleep, I probably wouldn't wake up again. But still, I was so tired.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Wake Up Call**

After only minutes of standing in the meadow—my arms wrapped tightly around Edward—I begged him to take me home, and, wonderfully, he knew I didn't mean the house that Renee and Phil owned. I was glad to see the Cullen house. I was glad to be welcome in the one place that felt like home—a place with Edward.

It wasn't that the warmth of the sun on my skin was dreadful, in fact, it was the closest I had come to sunlight since Is died. She was my ray of sunshine, the girl who loved the sun. When she had died, sunlight became a reminder of loss, instead of warmth. In the meadow, that warmth was there. It didn't scorch my skin and burn into my heart, it was _warm_. It wasn't like Issie was there with me, it was that she approved.

I was nervous about leaving Edward. I didn't want to leave him, but I refused to let him come. I didn't want him to see me cry for Phil. I trusted Edward, but it would be embarrasing to have him think that I was a breakable, crying little wuss. I wanted to prove brave to him, to prove better. To me, Bella seemed like the type that cried. I didn't want to be her. I was me. So, I wouldn't cry. Not anymore. Edward loved me, I loved him, and there was nothing sad about that.

I was going to cry fo Phil though. After that, no more tears. I only had to shed a few worries over my father before I could be the new, improved, and happy me.

It was hard saying goodbye to Edward. I had never done it before, and it was like ripping a part of myself and promsing that part I would come back, but no matter what I would say, that part had still been ripped out. It wasn't easy to leave a part of me behind.

"I'm coming back tomorrow," I promised. "Please wait for me."

"I promised you that I would," he reminded me, and then took me into a warm--figeratively warm, his skin was still ice--embrace, so that I forgot how to move. "I'll be waiting for you." He paused, giving me seconds to recall how to breath in silence, then he chuckled. "Since you refuse to let me come with you, I will stay here."

I smiled. "Thank you for understanding."

He kissed me. It was a kiss of parting, and, it was Shakespeare who said it, parting was such sweet sorrow--that I should say goodnight 'til it be 'morrow. I wanted to leave to see Phil, so that I could cry without Edward's worried eyes on me, but I wanted to be with Edward always. I hadn't wooed Edward like I had wanted to, so I could only hope that he really did love me enough to want me to come back to him, and then come back to stay with him. For always.

I asked for his cell number, and he chuckled--my most favourite sound in all the world. I told him that I would call later that day, and he told me he would be waited. His eyes, smoldering again, were so intense and expectant, as if--if that were possible--he would die without hearing my voice soon enough. I knew that I felt that way, but it was hard to believe that he did too. Obviously, we both fell too hard too fast. Hopefully, his feelings for me would never change--or maybe grow stronger--because there was no chance that I would ever stop loving him--no matter what peril five days brought me.

I hopped on a plane, and counted the days on my fingers. I had five days left. Issie had warned me only two days ago. There was little chance that the omen had been false. I had to plan how to prepare myself for whatever was coming. I spent one hour debating over whether it could be a natural disaster that was coming. After switching planes, I realized that Edward could easily protect me from a natural disaster--he could hold up the roof if it decided to fall down on me, and if it was a tornado, he would walk me right out of it--and a natural disaster wouldn't emotionally devestate us. It had to be something bigger. But what? I spent the remainder of my fly time to Jacksonville planning for nuclear war.

When I landed, I had a surprise pick-up from Renee. She couldn't resist coming to meet me and staying in the hospital was depressing for her. I couldn't agree more. When I arrived there, nothing seemed chipper. Not even the flowers on Phil's beside table looked pleasing. It was a a vacum for hope and a pit of despair. It was not the sort of place where I thrived. Besides that, it was the sort of place where Renee could talk to me. I wasn't so good at talking.

"Baby, how was your birthday?" she asked.

"You already asked me that, I said great," I answered, feeling that 'great' wasn't a big enough word.

"I know I called you yesterday and again this morning, but I missed you," she confessed. "It's hard being alone. Especially...after..."

I tried not to picture Is, but I did. I blinked away the tears and tried to smile at Renee. I could see her put on the same Happy-Go-lucky mask. We matched perfectly. We were two wonderful pretenders, holding the same sadness. Only, she hid it better than I did. I was a bad liar.

"You told me that you went with a friend, and then friends joined you later," she said. "You meant that it started off with a date. I can tell."

"It wasn't--" I stopped myself. I was bad liar. I shouldn't even try. "How did you know?"

"Bella, honmey, I'm your mother, I know when you're trying to hide something from me," she said in a rush of words. "So, who was he? Do you like him or what?"

She was smiling. I didn't want to dissapoint her. "I really like him," I admitted. "Much more than I should. It feels like so much more than I crush. I think I'm in love with him." Her smile faltered. "Maybe I'm wrong," I said, trying to smile and not worry her. "I just know that he's a great guy. He makes me feel..." How does one describe the feelings of love in one word? Complete had been used, so had wonderful. Perfect had been used as well. What was left? "Edward makes me feel whole again, like I'd been missing a part of me all my life, and then...when Is..."--I chocked for a second, and then steadied myself with a quick breath--"...when she died, there was a horrible hole there. I was hurt, we all were. Now, with him, I'm whole, entire, complete. I feel right again." The words had a sense of conviction, and I wanted to say more, but, if I did, Renee was going to think I was a love-sick puppy. But to be honest, I pretty much was.

She sighed heavily and put her head in her hands. I couldn't understand what I had done. I reached out to touch her, but decided against it. I glanced over at Phil, eyes closed and breathing regularly, and wondered if he had somehow heard what I had said in his state of perpetual sleep. When I turned to face Renee again, she was staring at me, with a look of scolding. I recoiled back, and wondered if she could scold me for falling in love.

"Did you say Edward?" she questioned, her voice a shapr whisper.

I nodded. "Edward Cu--Edward Mason. His name is Edward Mason."

"Not Edward Cullen?" Her eys narrowed. "It sounded like you were going to say that. If that were the case, he is way too old for you."

"I know," I sighed. "But Edward Cullen didn't do anything wrong, Mom."

"You don't know what happened," she frowned; her eyes were dark.

"Yes, I do, Mom!" I exclaimed, standing up from the chair I sat in that was placed at the end of Phil's bed. I walked away, but stopped at the door. I wasn't about to leave. Not until Phil woke up. "Mom, I know every thing about Edward Cullen, probably more than you do. In fact, I _do_ know more than you." She opened her mouth to protest, but I cut her off. "And I know Bella more than you do too."

She froze in place. Her eyes glowed with fury and despair, she practically radiated from how much she resented what I had said. "You know nothing about her, Steph," she said. "And Edward Cullen is the reason she didn't go off to school or come live with me in Jacksonville. If it weren't for him, she would be alive right now."

Now her rage was nothing compared to my rage. "It wasn't Edward's fault!" I screamed. "It was all Jane's fault!" Renee's eyes widened with surprise, not knowing who Jane was, same as me. "But that's not the point. Edward didn't hurt her; he did everything he could to save her! He loved her, more than anything; he loved her more than life or air!" _Or blood; or her blood_. "He saved her life countless times, and, until Bella knew him, she had nothing! She was shipped off to Forks, trying to make you happy. She met him, Mom. She met Edward and her life had meaning, for the first time. She had helped you, but that wasn't enough. Before Edward, she wasn't aloud to please herself. She found love, Mom. She found more than anyone could expect to find on this earth! You have Phil, and she had Edward. And now...now so do I. I have my Edward."

She blinked at me, looking without seeing. I lowered my temper to a boil and waited for her response. I gazed over at Phil for a while to remember why I was here. I wans't here to offend Renee. I was here for Phil. I loved Renee, she just didn't have her facts straight.

"You're in too deep," she said finally.

"What?"

"It's too fast for only a fleeting little crush," she explained. "You've just met him. There's no need for confessions of love." I laughed quietly and shook my head. "You need to forget about this boy before you get into trouble."

I laughed loudly, awkwardly. Renee stared, offended by my laughter. "Just met him?" I mocked. "Mom, I've known him forever!"

"What?" She absorbed what I was saying and came to her own conclusion. "Baby, I know it feels like forever, but it's not. You only just met him."

"Wrong again. I've known him for two years," I corrected, leaving out my strange flashes of memories from childhood that Renee frequently reminded me about, not knowing what they truly stood for.

"Two years?" she gawked. "How come you've never mentioned him before?"

I paused. How to explain? St least my anger was gone. "I wasn't so sure two years ago, and neither was he. We're sure now. I know he loves me. I love him. I love him much more than he loves me, I'll admit, but he loves me. I know that, Mom." I smiled. It sounded wonderfully to be saying these things aloud. "I know this is sudden, but I don't want to be away from him again, not after today."

"Honey, that's crazy." Renee sounded angry, but I knew her true feeling was only worry. She had already lost one daughter to the crazy world of loving-a-vampire, only, she hand't known the true cause of death. Only Edward knew.

"Crazy, yes," I agreed. "But it's the truth. It's how it's going to be as soon as Dad wakes up. I'm going back tomorrow."

"Your dad may not wake up today, sweet," she simpered. "It was a possibilty but--"

"He's waking up today," I interjected. "And then I'm going home to Edward tomorrow."

Renee was shocked, hurt. I didn't want to hurt her. I groaned and prepared and apology. I loved my mother, and, even though she didn't understand, she was only being so judgemental because she cared.

"Mom, I'm sorry," I whispered. My voice was rough from being raised so loud. She looked at me sideways, her face centered toward Phil in his bed. "I love Edward, and I love you and dad too. It's not that I don't get where you're coming from, but you've got nothing to worry about. Edward would never hurt me, and, God forbid something horrible happened between us, I would settle things. I would win out." I would win in too. There would be no losing.

Renee sighed and looked at me. Her face twisted between smiling and frowning. The smile won out. "Be careful," she warned. "And don't rush things. Your father and I are always here, remember that. And, if you're staying in Forks, there's always Charlie. I'm sure he would be more than willing to help."

I grinned. I had won her over. "Thanks, Mom."

I turned to the door, and thought I imagined an angelic chuckling inside the room, or possibly outside the door. The door had been open, it clicked closed. It was a curious situation, but I ignored it. How could Edward sneak in and out of Phil's room without my notice? I mean, after all, he was only human.

I debated over whether my imagination was playing tricks on me or not for another hour. I knew that Edward had promised to stay away, stay home, but...maybe he had changed his mind. I was hoping that wasn't the case. He knew what weird things he would hear--or had heard--when I was taling with Renee, and even later, with Phil. It wasn't something that I wanted to hear about later.

* * *

Phil woke up. It was just after lunchtime, and Renee was stepping back into the room after stepping out for lunch. Phil's eyelids fluttered, Renee jumped out of her chair, and I tensed, knowing what was to come. Still, knowing didn't disperse the worry of waiting.

When he woke, his first smile was for Renee. She embraced him, squeezing until he protested that his painwas too much. She loosened her grip and he smiled at me over her shoulder. She cried, telling him how worried he was. He asked what had happened, and we explained. Renee did the most explaining though, because I knew almost as much as he did. He was shocked and wide-eyed and asked how bad the damage was. Renee told him that he had been down and out for three days, almost four. He was even more surprised by this news. He re-examined his wounds and machinary, and his accident seemed to make more sense then.

"So, how were your exams?" he asked, after Renee had pounded on him a few more times about worrying her.

"They went fine," I half-lied. Some of them were fine, others weren't so much. "I passed them all, and I did really decent on them too." Not a lie, perfectly true. "And, before Mom asks again, my birthday was great too."

"Your birthday? I'm sorry, Steph. I missed it," he frowned. "How can I make it up to you, kid?"

I laughed, whole-heartedly. "You can get better," I told him. "If you do that, I forgive you." I paused, and wondered if there were any favours I needed. One came to mind. "I'm going back to Forks tomorrow, if that's alright. I won't leave if you need me, Dad."

He waved his hand at me, dismissing the very idea of him needing me. "No, you go back to your friends," he ordered cheerily. "Do that for me and I'll heal all the faster, go it, kid?" I nodded. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine now."

I smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

"Anytime," he laughed. I assumed he didn't mean the injury. I kissed his forehead, and then took to the door. I said that I had to go to the bathroom, but really, I wanted Renee to have some alone time with him. I could tell that they both needed it. Renee smiled at me, thanking me, as I closed the door behind me.

I wandered around, mostly headed toward the bathroom--I hadn't gone in a few hours, and it was a good idea to use my away time usefully. I found that, halfway donw the hall, there was something wet on my cheek. I wiped at it, and then stared, all agast, at my finger. I tasted it, and, sure enough, it was salty.

"Damn," I muttered. I was crying. Being in a hospital was too overlwhleming.

_"Ugh." I winced.  
"What is it?" he asked anxiously -- distracted, but not enough. The bleakness did not entirely leave his eyes.  
"Needles," I explained, looking away from the one in my hand. I concentrated on a warped ceiling tile and tried to breathe deeply despite the ache in my ribs.  
"Afraid of a needle," he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..."_

I had never liked needlies, and even seeing the IV in Phil was enough to cause me to shiver. The bruises, I could handle. I smiled at him naurally, not commenting on his bruising or swollen features unless he asked or made a comment himself. An IV though, I winced away every time I saw those. I couldn't imagine what kind of state you had to be in to get an IV. I didn't want to experience that ever again.

_But you haven't experiences that_, I reminded myself. _That was her_. _Bella was in the hospital countless time_. _You've only ever broken your ankle after falling down the stairs_. _You're luckier_.

The tear on my cheek was new, and I was glad to know that it was only a tear of relief. I was happy to see my father alive and well. Alice had been right, and although I had trusted her to be right, it was good seeing what she saw with my own eyes. There was no reason to be unhappy now. I could spend the rest of the day with Phil and Renee, and then tomorrow morning. After that, it was home to Edward, to the family that was staying with him, that might be permanently staying with him. I hoped they were. I liked them a lot.

I debated silently with myself over how I was going to sneak off to call Edward. Phil wouldn't care if he didn't know it was a boy, but Renee would ask to know, and I wasn't going to try to lie to her. I would have to sneak off later, that was my only choice.

I wandered again through the hall--after taking a washroom pit-stop for the sake of my bursting bladder--slowly taking in my surroundings. I was happy to report that the hospital wasn't busy that day. There were a lake of serious cases, of injuries. That lit a small smile on my face. It was still horrible to think of those who were here, like Phil, who were here for serious cases. I wished there weren't any. But there were. Not everyone was so lucky as to be injury-free their entire lives.

I stood outside Phil's room, debating if I had given them enough alone time. I decided that I hadn't, and stood against the wall, arms across my chest, and tried not to think.

I don't know how long I stood there, clearing my mind, but it wasn't nearly long enough. My mind wandered on it's own, and it led to the fact that I had only five days remaining.

Only five days. How was I to win? Edward would slip away from me because I had wandered away from him, asking him to stay behind. I had told him it was because I wanted to see my father alone — without showing him my tears — and that was mostly true. Also, I had wanted him to talk with Alice and Jasper. I wanted them to bond, to forget whatever problems they had or else resolve them. They were his family, and it was painful to think that he had been away from them for so long.

Tomorrow, I would have four days. I hoped that one day had been enough that Edward was, once again, speaking freely and openly with his family. Not only Alice and Jasper, but all of them.

Maybe that was one way into his heart. If I told him how much I wished that he would talk to his family, maybe he would see how much I cared for him! If he could comprehend even one thousandth of my love for him, that would be enough to convince him, but there were no words, no actions, no wishes that could reveal those feelings to him. They were to emense to describe. My short description to Renee hadn't even measure to a thousandth of a thousandth of how I felt. I was too deeply in love for any human, but I was though. I wanted Edward to see that.

I was beginning to get pathetic, beginning to panic. I was droning on about how much I loved Edward, standing alone in a hostpital's hallway. I was obsessed, and that was unhealthy. I was so focused on Edward that I wanted to rush back to him rather than spend more time with my father. I was disturbed, but, knowing that Phil was recovering perfectly, put my mind at ease. I had a more pressing problem at hand than quality time with Phil or even Renee — as sad as that sounded, it was true. I needed Edward more than I did Renee or Phil, just as I had needed Issie more than Renee or Phil. There was always one person that meant more to me and now — to my own fear — Edward meant more to me than even Issie had once.

My eyes were wide. I was unsure of what to do. Was it right to want Edward more than want my family? Was I bordering on some rare case of insanity? It would explain why I was channelling Bella Swan for my past eighteen years.

I sighed and closed my eyes. I wanted to be thinking about Phil, but I was thinking about my other life, my other me. I had become the me that was Bella and the me that was the one that Issie had known. The Bella-me was only for Edward, and she came out too often. The Issie-me was all but drowned out of me. Almost completely gone, with little hope of returning.

It was the stress of knowing that I would be parted from Edward that was causing my conflicting interests. I had a feeling that, even after the horrible occurence in five days, I could see Renee and Phil again. It was Edward I was worried about. I wasn't sure.

He had assured me again and again, had promised me continually, but I couldn't accept it. Why was I so doubtful? I loved him, trusted him, but I couldn't believe that he would stay. _Because he left once before_. I wasn't sure how to get over that. Being parted from him — in reality as well as in my dreams, in Bella's life — was unbearable. I repeat of that would kill me.

Edward wouldn't allow that though. He wouldn't allow me to die. Even as confused and sad as I was, it wasn't what I wanted. He wouldn't let me.

"_Are you alright_?"  
"_No. I want to die_."  
"_That will never happen. I won't allow it_."

Yes, my memory proved that. Somewhere along the line, all the answers were there. Edward wouldn't go back on his word, he would stay with me — even if Bella herself rose from the dead.

I had an epiphany then. I realized that I had been absolutely crazy for the past few days. I had gotten to know Edward, in person, instead of only in my dreams. We had spoken in soft whispers, and we had spoken in loud voices. He had allowed me to kiss him and then he kissed me back. He had promised me never to leave, and he had said that he loved me. I needed no reason other than that. There was nothing I didn't know about Edward now, nothing I couldn't trust.

_"Oh!"  
"Bella?"  
"Oh. Okay. I see."  
"Your epiphany?" he asked, his voice uneven and strained.  
"You love me," I marveled. The sense of conviction and rightness washed through me again.  
Though his eyes were still anxious, the crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face. "Truly, I do."  
_  
And I realized then, through my epiphany that I didn't care about the amount of days I had leftover. It didn't matter. I loved Edward, and he loved me. In five days I was going to be with Edward, whether I was in my death bed or I was still kicking. I was going to be with Edward. There was no force on earth that could stop me. And, maybe, not anything beyond the grave either.

I rumaged through my pockets and tore out my cellphone. I dialed in the number and waited as the ring sounded off. I waited, tensed and nervous, holding my breathe.

"Hello?" Velvet, smooth.

"Hi," I breathed, sounding breathless.

"Is something wrong, Steph?" he asked, anxious now.

"No," I assured him. I closed my eyes and smiled. "Everything is fine." He chuckled. "Everything is fine _now_," I corrected.

"Same here, love," he murmured.

I sighed happily and slowly sunk to the floor. "Edward, this is going to be hard for me...being away from you...but...can I ask you a favour?"

"Ask me anything, Steph," he said, his tone alluring and tempting me not to ask the question I was about to ask.

"Ouh, don't say it like that," I pleaded. "It makes the question so much harder when you're so nice about it!" He laughed. "Edward..." His name was like honey on my tongue, and I wanted to taste it again and again. "Edward," I whispered.

"Yes?"

"Edward, I love you, so much," I told him, my eyes still closed, invisioning him in front of me. "But can I ask that I see you Monday? I can't leave Phil, not yet."

"I understand," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "I would be glad to give you more time with your father. It gives me more time with mine."

My heart skipped a beat. "Carlisle?"

"All of them, They all came."

I laughed. "I guess I'll see them all Monday, then?"

He laughed as well, making my heart punce at the wonder of the sound. "Monday then."

"I'll call you," I promised. "Everyday. If...that's alright?"

"Of course it is," he assured me. "Call as often as you like."

"How often would you like?" I asked.

He paused, knowing that I would cave in to any request. "I'm trying to be reasonable," he murmured. "I want to always hear your voice, but that would pull you away from your father. Call me tomorrow again and I'll answer that question, once I have been given time to think it over."

"Sure," I agreed. "But, I'm going to call you again later."

I smiled, and I knew he was smiling too. My Edward, my love, and I were smiling. All was right with the world. What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

**Sorry for the long delay. Too many things going on. Forgive me for being sluggish. I don't seem to be getting any faster at this...but just to warn you in advanced, there aren't too many chapter left.**

REVIEW please. Thanks. And I love all your reviews. Most of them make me laugh/smile or otherwise show some sign of excitement. I appreciate all opinions! (And it's scary how insightful some of you are. Sharp as tacks.)


	10. Chapter 10: Pain

**"The greater the capacity to love, the greater the capacity to feel the pain." - Jennifer Aniston**

**"There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you." - unknown.**

* * *

Gone. That one word was incomprehendable to me now. After so many years, so many centuries, one word had escaped. It's meaning was lost to me now. The word formed on my lips but made no sound. All because of the two words that came before it. Bella is gone.

How was that possible? In all my promises, in all my time with her, that concept had never become possible. I had left once, and I had thought that she had left forever once — but even that didn't measure to the pain of seeing her leaving me when she was still in my arms. I couldn't say...die...no, that was far too painful. How unbearable it was to wonder an earth where she could never be? Had she felt no pity for me in her passing? No. She shouldn't feel pity for me. Maybe in some small form of show of her hatred for the breaking of my ever promise she had chosen to take her rage out on me. But Bella wasn't cruel, she was kind. She would not order me to spend my forever without her only to suffer alone. I'm sure it was only that knowing that her death would kill me was painful to her, more painful than death for herself.

If I could cry, I would have a thousand times. There were no tears though, not for me. I stared for hours into blank spaces, smiling when reminded of my memories of her, with her, and then soon afterwards pain followed. I would never have another memory with her.

"Edward?" Alice asked. Her voice was low, broken. All allure in her voice was gone, gone with the part of her that knew my sweet Bella.

Alice stood next to me as I faced the inward part of my room. The golden bed still the same as it had been last week, before Alice had stolen Bella away to Charlie's house so that the wedding traditions could be kept. A groom wasn't allowed to see the bride on their wedding day before the ceremony. Last week had been the last time I had seen Bella in flawless condition.

"You've been here all week," Alice croaked. She reached to touch her hand to my shoulder, but I flinched away, fleeing to cross the room, to get away from any and all physical contact. I didn't even wish to speak with anyone, least of all to Alice, who would try to take the guilt away. There was no reason to do that. I was completely guilty.

"Please," she begged, taking steps toward me. Ungraceful steps, marked with a similar pain that I was feeling, brought her to my side again. "Don't go, Edward. Stay with us."

I didn't react to her words, and my only movement was my lips formimg broken, quiet words. "I can't stay here, Alice," I explained. "Not now." I faced Alice, eys widened. "She's gone."

Alice's arms flung around me. She apologized, saying it was her fault, she hadn't seen Bella's decision in time. It wasn't her fault, and I tried to say that, by the words caught in my throat. I wanted to blame myself, but, without Bella, even words seemed meaningless.

"Where will you go Edward?" Esme asked. She was afraid for me. _Please_, _Edward_, _don't go_.

"I can't remain here," I answered, slowly, finding words harder to use with the pounding of fresh pain on my un-beating heart.

_Don't go_.

But I had to...So I did.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Pain  
**  
Weeks pass, and so do years. Sixteen years to be exact. I hid from the family I cared for, and I ran from the inevitable. The knowledge that my Bella was gone finally hit me. Even after visiting her grave, even after her funeral, it had been hard to accept. But I did accept it — and that only made the pain stronger, like every breathe was not air but ice and fire, and every movement was stiff, as if I were carrying the entire world on my shoulders. Time passes slower when you are weighted down.

_Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. It passes unevenly, but it does pass_.

* * *

Today, there was a girl in the graveyard. I didn't look at her. I only knew she was a girl because the way she walked. She smelled of strawberries. Her blood was sweet as well, but it wasn't nearly as addictive as...

The girl stood beside me, mourning over Isabella Dywer, Bella's half-sister. The girl looked at me, and I caught her head movement, but didn't look up myself.

"Sorry," she muttered, and then looked away, facing the grave stone once again.

"That's alright," I said.

I felt her eyes on me again. "You knew Bella Swan?" she asked.

I felt a rip run throughout my body at her name, but I smiled to hide the pain from the girl beside me. "Yes, I knew her," I answered quietly, finding that my voice was out of reach. It took a few minutes, but I found the courage to look away from the grave and be polite enough to face the girl beside me.

I looked away, too quick for her eyes to see, hoping that she hadn't seen the shock on my face. I scanned my eyes over her face carefully.

She looked like her. A lot like her. She wasn't her though, and I could see subtle differences. She blushed the same though, and she cried the same. She was crying over Isabella Dwyer.

"Did you?" I wanted to hear her voice again, to judge if it was similar as well.

"Not personally," she said. "I'm her half-sister. You might know Renee, Isabella Swan's mother...?" I nodded. "She's my mother. She's Issie's—Isabella's—my sisters...She was my sister's mother. She's dead..." The girl closed her eyes, shut her mouth tight, and stopped breathing for a few short seconds.

"I see." I glanced at the grave she was standing in front of. Isabella Dwyer. How strange Renee named her after..."Her name was Isabella?"

"Yeah." She wiped tears from her eyes, and swallowed in preparation to speak again. "Yeah, Renee—our mother—named her after her first daughter. Everyone was against it, but Renee liked the name, and she was hurting without...It was crazy, but Renee is like that." She paused to gaze again at her sister's grave. "I still can't believe...Forks."

I did a quick double-take, too quick for her human eyes to see. Not only was she a look-a-like, but her reaction to Forks was the same...

We spoke for several minutes, and when she cried, she reminded me again of Bella. It was hard to keep a straight expression when the subtle differences weren't enough to keep the memories away.

* * *

I said things I shouldn't have, and I was sure she was thinking the same thing. She became suddenly rushed to get away, hurrying while her heart pounded madly, ordering her to run. She was either afraid of me or nervous to be around me.

"Say hi to Alice for me," she said in parting, waving her hand as she walked away.

I tensed. I wondered. How did she know who Alice was? It had to be impossible but...The differences between Bella and the girl didn't seem so subtle anymore.

* * *

"Edward?"

My head shot up. There she was just in front of me, Alice. She had been at the house when I had come back from the graveyard, and now here she was. She had found me a week later.

"I told you not to follow me, Alice," I reminded her. My voice was hoarse from not being used, and from the strain of the memories that always leaked into my mind when ever I even so much as thought about my family — the family _she_ was going to become part of. And now, Alice was here and the memory was unbearable.

I could picture Alice with her as they laughed over why Rosalie was to become a bride's maid. Alice had insisted. She had looked to me, asking if it was the right thing to do. I had agreed with Alice. I remembered the concentrated expression she wore perfectly. Her smile, after her train of thought came to conclusion, was breath-taking.

I never closed my eyes anymore, never for long. The memories flooded in when the blackness surrounded me. At night, during the day, and the time in between, the memory was always there. Every time I saw the twilight I could almost cry. Another day over, another day without her, another night coming that wouldn't be spent with her. I was a waste of a life.

But I held on for her. She had begged me with her last breath to stay alive. I wasn't living much, but I was breathing in and out, if that counted as living. Some days I didn't breathe at all. Some nights I debated if breaking my promise to her could be worth it in the end. I would be away from the pain after all. I didn't though, I didn't take my life away; I stayed for Bella.

"I had to see you," Alice said in a soft, cautious voice. "Why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." My tone was humorless, expressionless, but I was impressed with myself for even speaking at all, never mind my attempt at humor.

"I meant 'why are you on top of Mount Everest' not..." Her voice trailed off, and the wind carried her words away from me. "I'm here because I traced you here," she explained. "Emmett is with me, and Jasper too. Rosalie is with Esme right now. Their rebuilding and remodelling another house. Emmett came hoping that he would have the chance to drag you back with us. He's in the mood for a fight a lot these days."

"I don't blame him."

"Are you going to stay here forever?"

I didn't answer.

"Please, Edward. Don't do this," she begged. "We all miss you _so_ much!"

Again, I didn't answer. I continued to stare through the snow storm and out toward the blue sky ahead.

"Bella..."—she choked for a second, her voice straining over using her name—"Bella would want this. She would want you to be happy, to move on, and to come back to us. You know that's true, Edward!"

I couldn't stand it. Her name, Alice's demands, the rush of memories. I stood and prepared to run down Mount Everest at top speed. Anything to get away from the memory.

"Goodbye, Alice," I said. "Don't come after me again."

"But —"

"Please, Alice," I begged. I pleaded, not holding back any pain or sorrow from my face. I let her see all of what I was feeling. "Please, don't come after me again Alice. And don't send Jasper after me either."

"Edward...," she sobbed, although tearless. Her short hair was being twisted in the wind and her clothes whipped wildly about her. Her eyes understood my pleading, but she didn't want to say yes.

"Promise me, Alice. Promise that you won't come after me," I pleaded.

She hesitated. _I fear for you, I miss you_. _How can we get by hurting like this_? _You're in so much pain_! _It hurts us to, Edward_. _Every day, every minute, and every second_. _We all miss her_. _But we need you back_! _Please_!

I shook my head. Her head dropped and her shoulders fell.

"I promise." She admitted defeat.

"I love you Alice, and tell everyone how much I love them and that I do miss them."

"I will." She paused. "I love you too, Edward. We all need you back as soon as possible."

I nodded sharply once, and then went straight to Forks without further delay. I spent two years avoiding the girl I met at the graveyard. And, by the end of the second year, when I pictured Bella's face, it seemed different to me. Changed. Why was the face I saw suddenly subtly different?

* * *

_At the hospital in Jacksonville_...

A day. How painful a single day can be! It was only a day, only one, away from the one I loved but it hurt as if it were years.

I called Edward again. I melted when I heard his voice, and the comfort it brought me was immeasurable. I had to call him once when I woke up and once before I slept -- I couldn't sleep at all if I didn't hear his voice, not that I tried.

I accidentally left the phone on all night. I woke up Monday morning -- yawning, stretching -- to hear a muffled version of Edward's laughter. I held the phone up to my ear.

"Edward?"

He chuckled. "You forgot to hang the phone up. You fell asleep."

"Oh. Oops."

I was embarrassed. My face was scarlet red. I was in the old house In Jacksonville. I had slept there on Renee's orders. She didn't feel comfortable with me sleeping in the hospital.

"Were you listening to me sleep all night?" I asked.

"All night," he answered.

"That must have been very dull for you."

"Not when you talk in your sleep."

If I thought my face felt hot before, I was wrong. It had been on a mild burn before, now it was a raging volcano.

"What did I say?" I paused. It had been a silly question. "Never mind, I already know."

"You do?"

"All I ever dream about is you anyways," I explained, sitting up as I spoke. "I could only have said something about you."

"I hope that isn't the case, considering what you said."

Oh no. "What did I say?"

He paused. "You said 'get away from me', and I would hate to think that was directed at me."

Oh _no_. Crap. How was I going to explain that the dream had been about him? I didn't want to say out loud that I had a dream where I was a sexy kitten and Edward was...I had never had an erotic dream before, and I blamed the late-night movie that was on last night. I shouldn't have watched it. It made my dreams turn sour. It didn't help that the main male character had been named Ed.

"Of course not," I lied. "How could that be about you?"

"Why do you even try to lie?" he asked. His voice was smooth, and I could hear the curiosity behind his even tone.

"The dream...was about you," I admitted. "But it's not what you think." He waited. I didn't continue.

"Go on," he urged. "It can't be that bad."

"Yes, yes it can."

"Steph, you can tell me anything. I won't judge what kind of dreams you have."

"I know, but this is bad," I insisted. "I can't tell you!"

"Why not?" He sounded hurt.

"Because," I growled. "It was erotic and not rated under the lovely 'G' that my dreams usually are."

"Erotic?" He seemed confused. I hoped he would drop the subject.

He didn't.

"Will you explain this to me?" he asked, his voice so alluring that it was difficult to breathe, and even more difficult to refuse what he was asking. "I want to know why you told me to 'leave you alone' in your dream."

I hesitated. "I was just being playful," I said. "That's what sexy kittens do, Edward. They just do."

I spent another hour explaining my dream to him, hesitating the entire time. His only comment about the dream astounded me. He said it was a pity it wasn't real. He also said that he would rate it PG14. It -- according to him -- really wasn't that bad. I found that hard to believe.

"No more late-night movies from...whatever that channel was," I told him. "Only wholesome Disney movies. I can work with that."

He laughed, carefree, as if I hadn't just been explaining the most twisted part of my mind. "So can I," he agreed.

"Good, anything that works for you will work for me."

"My sentiments exactly."

I glanced over at the clock. The sun was up, and it was past breakfast time. "I better go," I sighed. "I have only a few hours with Phil, and then..." I smiled at the thought, unable to continue for another minute. "I'm coming home this afternoon."

"I glad you consider Forks your home."

"No."

"No?"

"It isn't _Forks_ that's my home, Edward," I explained. "It's you."

* * *

**Okay, lame chapter? I hope not.**

**It's been raining like it's Forks where I live, and my friends keep telling me that they feel just like Bella those first few days in Forks. We're waiting for our own personally Edwards to show up to save us from the rain. Even with the rain, I have had NO TIME! I had to work all day Saturday and then there's finals to study for. I'm swamped.**

**So, I give you this short, description-free chapter. I hope it will satisfy enough until I can type up a real chapter.**

**REVIEW!!**


	11. Chapter 11: Remember Jacob Black?

**_"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel." - Carl W. Buechner

* * *

_**

_"Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am." He forced a laugh. "'Sides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place..._

"Attention everyone, this is your captain speaking. We have just reached...

..._have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right." He snorted_.  
I felt an urge to tell him to stay, whoever this russet-skinned man was—or boy?—but I knew that wouldn't work.  
"_Be careful_—"  
_He shoved out of the tent before I could finish_.

"...you are now free to move around."

**_Chapter 11: Remember Jacob Black?_**

_

* * *

_

_**Monday, sometime around noon**..._

Sunlight burned inside my eyelids. It was bright, a red-orange colour. I didn't want to open my eyes, because the warm glow was too bright. I knew I would be blinded from the light, and I rather go back to dreaming than wake up. The sun may be ready to rise, but I wasn't.

Another plane ride, another moment of my life wasted on travel plans. The airport had been so crowded in Jacksonville, and then there had been a delay because of weather. I had to sit still on the plane for an extra hour, much more than I wanted. I would have preferred no delay. They delay kept me away from Edward.

I did open my eyes, only to peer out the window at the cottony, rough-looking clouds. The seat belt light turned on and the captain started speaking. We were ready for head down. I relaxed into the seat, and smiled, knowing that I would be in Edward's arms soon enough.

Phil and Renee had been sad to see me leave, but someone had to take care of the house. And that same someone had a wedding to attend at the end of the summer. Also, that someone wanted to be in Forks when the three days were up. As long as I was with Edward, they would pass by evenly. If I was away from him, disaster would strike. I wasn't going to take any chances.

I had said my goodbyes to Phil, ordering him to get well soon, so that he wouldn't have to stick around the hospital and eat crummy hospital food. He had promised. He was eager to get back to Renee's cooking—but that was only a joke, no one could stand Renee's cooking. I would know. Issie and I had been force-fed her cooking for years, before we learned to cook—before Phil had insisted on going out for diner most nights.

Renee warned me about the boy, telling me that I shouldn't get in so deep. I rolled my eyes—not that I let her see that—and told her that I was already in too deep to back out now. She believed that. It made her worry even more.

As far was worry was concerned, she was the only one. I wasn't worried, not anymore. Whatever was coming would come, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had accepted the inevitable. The happening would happen, and I wasn't going to fight it. I was going to work for it, work with it, and then make it work for me. Whatever it was, it was going to end happily, whether that's what its intention was or not.

The landing was a little bumpier than I was used to, but all in all we landed safely. The passengers straggled, getting caught in between other passengers in attempt to push themselves off the plane. A family with young children was behind me, so I let them go ahead. There were mostly older folks on the ride. The little family and I were the youngest. We younglings had to stick together.

I grabbed my carry-on bag—my CD players and my latest favourite book, Wuthering Heights, were in the small handbag—and shuffled through the narrow aisle. I wasn't the last one off, and that was good. I was next to last, with only a few business men in suits behind me. I wondered over why they hadn't rode in first class and debated over the benefits of first class for the long walk over to pick up my bag with my clothes in it. I was just about there when my mind wandered a little too far and I crashed into the _biggest_ man I had ever seen—and by big, I mean height and muscle.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled.

"Oh, no, it was my fault," I said. "Sorry."

"Sure, sure," he said.

I shot my head up. It was strange to hear someone use the phrase that Issie had taught me long ago. I had picked it up from her, and who knows where she heard. Obviously it wasn't off the top of her head, because how else would this complete stranger say the same thing? Coincidences were rare, especially in my life. (I was the Bella clone who coincidentally met up with the husband-to-be vampire, after all.)

I wasn't quite sure what to think of the face in front of me. His skin was dark — a russet colour — and as was his hair, which was cropped short. He had dark eyes and every thing about him was dark. Even his clothes; dark jeans and a dark, black jacket. He was older, looking like he was in his late twenties. He would have been handsome, except his expression was twisted in a strange way.

Shock. The expression he wore was shock.

"Impossible," he said. "You can't be..."

He debated for a while, his expression twisting under the shock and becoming both doubt and belief. I waited. My luggage could wait. I could wait — for a short while.

"...you can't be...," he repeated. Then his eyes lit up with hope. "Bella?"

I let out a sigh and let my head loll backward. "Oh, God, not another one," I groaned.

"How do you —" He paused. He seemed to realize that I wasn't Bella. "You're not Bella."

Yep, I had been right. I nodded my head. How else was I suppose to respond? Someone else thought I was Bella Swan. It was kind of sad how quickly that occurrence wasn't surprising anymore.

"Are you, uh..." He squinted his eyes to think, and then smiled sheepishly when he found the answer. "You must be Renee's kid, to look like Bel..."

I could hear the pain behind the cheerful tone. He was very good at pretending he was over the hurt. It was a little too cliche though. He was too happy. He seemed like he knew her personally. Maybe I was wrong, but I had a feeling. He looked familiar.

"Yes, I am Renee's kid," I agreed, smiling as sweetly as I could. "And you are...?" And then his face was suddenly recognizable. "Jacob. You are Jacob Black."

He looked stunned, shocked once again, but his expression folded into the cheery-calm once again.

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"Don't know," I answered honestly. "I just know things."

"You should try to get on 'Who Want To Be A Millionaire' or 'Jeopardy'," he joked. "You'd do great."

"No," I disagreed, frowning as I did so. "About Bella. Not about anything else."

"That's probably not very helpful then."

I smiled crookedly, portraying a sad imitation of Edward's perfect crooked smile. "You'd be surprised," I said. "Often things come along that you wouldn't expect in a normal world."

This seemed to catch him offguard. He couldn't bring the mask back. He was open. He had been hidden behind something, and now he looked younger. Something I had said had broken down the mask.

"Normal world?" he echoed, anger floating behind his eyes. I saw his hand shake a little, but then he calmed suddenly, and the mask was back. "I'm guessing you like fiction."

"Jacob Black...You know, I had an imaginary friend when I was kid. His name was Jacob Black. He could turn into a werewolf," I blabbed, not taking time to consider the curious expression that Jacob now wore. "Cool, huh? It's a good thing that vampires and werewolves aren't real, eh, Jacob? I'm sure they would have quite a trouble getting alone — considering that werewolves and vampires were naturally enemies."

It was too quiet after that. I looked up from my feet, glanced over Jacob's shoulder — which was hard to do because he was so tall — and then back to Jacob's face again. I could see his fists shaking wildly, and his face, although still hidden behind the mask, was flaring with rage.

"This better not be some leech trick," he growled. "I don't know what..." He gazed away, watching the arrivals, and a flash to a new screen calmed him. "You might want to go home, kid. I'm sure whoever is waiting for you won't wait for long."

"So are you part of the paranormal community or part of the natural human community?"

"What?" He appeared baffled.

"I'm not doubting myself again," I explained. "Last time it was Edward Cullen — you know who that is right?— and he denied being a vampire. Now, I know I'm right this time. I'm sure I've seen you before and you look a lot like the Jacob Black that Issie — my sister — and I made up, except he was fourteen, I think..." I paused to take a breathe. Jacob Black's face twisted. He didn't seem like he knew what to think.

"I'm sorry." I smiled apologetically. "You see, you used the word 'leech'. I recognize it. You used to use it all the time when...I mean, with Bella. You used to use it all the time with Bella."

The air was tense, and the tight space we were in didn't help. People pushed past, and I noticed that no one came near Jacob Black. There was an entire space around him, as if he was menacing.

I took another look at him. He could be menacing, but that didn't have an effect on me. I had seen too many frightening things already in my dreams before. Jacob Black was harmless, and — for no real reason at all — I trusted him. He seemed friendly enough past the mask and the anger.

"I've probably wasted your time, you're here for a reason, right?"

He nodded his head slowly. I wished I hadn't said anything. What if I was wrong? Maybe it was a coincidence? I was too careless. My epiphany had left my better judgement lacking.

"I better go then," I said. "Goodbye, Jacob." I pushed past him, and, accidentally, my bare shoulder brushed into him when I tried to dodge another person who was rushing past me. He was warm, very warm. I jumped back. He noticed, but, because I was embarrassed, I pretended that I didn't notice that he had noticed. I kept on walking.

Did he have a fever? No. Why was he so hot? Because all his kind are like that. What kind? You know, the big anf fury kind. You mean...? Yeah, you said it yourself. How...? C'mon. You've been dealing with this for a long time now. I think you can recognize Jacob Black as a...

"He _is_ a werewolf," I muttered.

I spun around. I couldn't fin him — wait, his back. I caught sight of the back of his jacket and pushed past the crowd. "Wait!" I yelled. "Wait! Jake! I have to ask you something!"

He stopped and turned around. He waited until I caught up. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked annoyed. He had thought that he had gotten rid of me.

"What is it?" he asked. Yes, definitely annoyed. He seemed to be debating whether or not to just continue to walk away.

"I...I have to know," I said, barely a whisper over the loud voices in the airport. He heard me though, somehow. "Did you ever...did you find..." I closed my eyes. The word was leaving me. I had it a minute ago, and now it was fading. What was it? "Imprint," I said. "Did you ever imprint? Did you move on like I hoped you...?"

The sentence got caught in my mouth. I had no idea why it hurt so much to ask such a simple question. I had no idea who this man was, and I hadn't even liked the imaginary-friend version of Jacob Black. Sure, he had been my friend, but it was Issie who had been obsessed with him by the end. And, although I would never admit it, sometimes, after the movie to Forks, I thought I heard her talking to him late at night...

"Leah Clearwater," he said.

"Oh! That's great! She must have got over Sam then? It all worked out," I gushed, relief washing over me. Confusion spread over Jacob's face. "Or did things not work out...? Did Leah not...She wasn't adjusting well when I last saw...her..."

I watched the floor for a second. I listened to the voices, all saying a million different things. My eyes were wide as a realized what I was doing. I closed my eyes and slapped my hand to my forehead and then rubbed the headache that was forming away.

"Oh, crap. I'm doing it again," I sighed. "I've never seen Leah Clearwater in my life! I've never seen you! I don't know who Sam is. And I certainly don't know Emily or Embry or Quill or..." I opened my eyes, staring up at Jacob, pleading that he would agree with me. He had the mask on again. He was Sam's Jacob now, not my Jacob. "I'm glad you imprinted and got over Bella Swan," I said. "I wish you every happiness, and I'm sorry to have wasted your time. Goodbye."

I shoved through the crowd and run as fast as I could. I got a few stares here and there, and a few complaints shouted at me, but I ignored them. I found that my bag was the last one there, grabbed it, and then raced out of the airport. I needed Edward. I needed him now.

"What's wrong?"

I nearly jumped ten feet in the air, but Edward's arms around me restrained me. His lips had been at my ear, and the out-of-the-blue sound had startled me.

"You're here!" I exlcaimed, and then spun in his arms to wrap my own arms around his neck.

"Of course." He chuckled and allowed me to bury myself into his chest for a few moments. "Now, what's wrong?"

"Oh, I just made a fool of myself in front of Jacob Black," I explained. I sighed and pulled my face off him, so that I could see his smile.

He wasn't smiling though. His expression was shocked, almost as shocked as Jacob's had been. I wondered if I had said something strange or if Edward's super-vampire hearing had picked something up. I waited.

"Jacob Black," he mumbled. "How did you make a fool of yourself in front of Jacob Black?"

"Oh, the usual spitting out words thing," I answered with note of sadness to my tone. "I accused him of being a werewolf and then I asked if he had ever imprinted. I have no idea what any of it means, but he thought I was...Bella...so, I...I kind of lost my mind for a moment there."

"I see," he said. The perfect marble of his forehead creased. He was worried.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Stephanie?"

He said my name. My full name, not just a nickname. Why did that have to send butterflies throughout my bloodstream? I was trying to concentrate on questioning Edward, but now my mind could only focus on how his eyes smoldered at me, and how they lit up when he said my name.

"Uh...wow," I laughed. "Do you how hard it is to concentrate when you..." Say dazzle. "When you dazzle me like that?"

He chuckled. "I was hoping I would distract you," he admitted. "It's not working as well I planned."

"Oh, it's working," I assured him. "I'm just being stubborn."

Edward opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it again. His eyes darted to the side, and his eyes narrowed. I couldn't read his expression.

"I should have known." Jacob.

My head flew sideways, and I recognized Jacob Black from the crowd. He was standing only a few feet from us. There was no one else around. There were plenty of crowds inside, but only the three of us were outside.

So familiar...the drop-offs at the border line...the time, outside Charlie's house...the tent...

"Jacob," Edward greeted.

"Edward," Jacob said in return. His eyes flashed, he looked at me, perfectly at ease in a vampire's arms. "It didn't take you long, leech."

Edward's body tensed. I knew exactly why. It didn't take you long, leech. I understood the accusation completely. It didn't take Edward long to get over Bella, that's what Jacob was saying.

"Edward, we should go," I whispered. My voice felt weak. Something was all too familiar about the hatred between Jacob and Edward.

"You're right," Edward agreed, eyes still fixated on Jacob. "It's not fair to put you through this. This isn't your fight."

I nodded. It wasn't my fight. Then how come I felt that it was?

"Is this some kind of trick, leech?" Jacob asked. "A look-a-like for your own sick wants?"

I could feel just a trickle of rage, just a small touch of it. I didn't like how Jacob felt he could batter Edward sp easily, as if Edward hadn't been through the pain of losing his first love. Jacob had no right.

"Why are you here?" Edward was calm. How he managed it, I had no clue. But I smiled at how strong he was. "To torment us, Jacob?"

Jacob frowned. He didn't like Edward's nonchalance. "No."

"Ah, I see," Edward grinned. "It didn't take you long, dog."

Okay, now I was confused. "What did take long?" I whispered roughly.

Just then, a boy, maybe two or three years younger than me, popped into my sights. He walked sluggishly toward Jacob, seeming hesitant to interrupt the tense conversation.

"Dad," he said, speaking to Jacob, "remember what Mom said? If we don't get back right away, she'll skin us alive. She wanted me back straight away."

"Sure, sure," Jacob mumbled. "Now get back to the car. I'll be right there."

The boy rolled his eyes. I watched him, and he caught me watching him. He was tall, lanky, and his hair was long, over his shoulders, and black. He wore it in a ponytail. He had the same russet-coloured skin. His face still had some child, roundness, but I could see that was fading quickly. He was, after all, at least sixteen.

The boy headed for a little Rabbit that was parked not far away. I wasn't surprised to see that Jacob had kept the Rabbit in good condition even after all this time.

"Oh," I said. "Not long at all. Leah Clearwater's kid."

"How do you know all that?" Jacob demanded. "What's the leech been feeding you?"

Leech? Why call him that? I had seen leeches. They didn't compare to Edward. Leeches were small — or big, depending on you you're talking to — little things, looking slimy, and shaped in an odd, stretched-out oval shape. Edward was perfect. The only comparison was...Oh. Blood-suckers. They were both blood-suckers.

The little trickle of rage grew into a stream. A very hot stream.

"Don't listen to him," Edward told me. "He prefers it when he can make you angry. Just ignore him."

"Alright." But how was I supposed to ignore him? I wondered if Bella was any good at ignoring him...

"I don't know why you think you can drag around some look-a-like and pretend that's her," Jacob growled. "She's not Bella. You shouldn't have her pretending to be —"

Okay, now that stream was set to boil. Something about Jacob made me very, very angry.

"I'm not a look-a-like!" I scowled. "Just leave me alone, mutt." Wait — was that me? Mutt? What did that even mean? "Leave us alone, Jacob Black. We didn't do anything to offend you." My voice started getting louder. "No treaties have been broken, no lands have been crossed. There's no trouble here, so leave us alone!"

Jacob's face fell. Shock. He was shocked again. I felt a little smug myself, but I didn't let that show. I grabbed my bags and readied myself to go. Edward gracefully snatched my heavier bag away and carried it as if it weighed nothing at all. I thanked him and then he lead me away, hopefully toward his car.

Yes, to Edward' car. The shiny Volvo. Edward allowed me to toss my stuff in the trunk, and then he drove me home. I didn't look back. What did it matter to me if I had hurt Jacob Black? I didn't care, right? It didn't matter.

_Wrong. Your wrong. That's Jacob, Jake, my Jacob. He's hurt. You hurt him. Why did you do that to him? You care! Or at least...I do. Steph, I care. He matters to me._

"Steph?"

I yanked myself back into reality and stared at the worried face of my angel. "Wh-what?"

"You looked afraid," he said. His eyebrows pulled together, showing his concern.

"Oh." I pulled down the mirror and checked myself out. I was as pale as Edward, and the shock still hadn't left my eyes. "Well, I thought I heard...never mind." I smiled at him and tried to hide the shock on my own face.

He frowned dissaprovingly. "Steph, you know you can trust me with anything. If you're afraid that Jacob Black is going to hurt you —"

"No!" I interrupted. "I'm not afraid of him. I..."

I swallowed hard. My heart raced. Three days...and already things were happening to me. Three days and the countdown had begun.

Edward held my hand, and I felt courage come to me again. The cold spread through me and calmed the hot panic the burned inside me. I was calm. I found my voice, and took a deep breathe. I could tell Edward; I trusted Edward.

"Issie," I said. "I heard Issie's voice. She was speaking to me." I waited. There was a quiet pause.

"What about?" Edward asked. He was very good at hiding worry when he wanted to. It made me relax; it made it easier to talk to him openly.

"Jacob Black."

* * *

**Monday, late that night...at the Black's house...  
**  
"I told you to be here in under and hour! UNDER I said, not OVER!"

"The plane was late, Mom."

"LATE!? HA! I know _exactly _what happened!" Leah Clearwater said.

"Mom, I swear, Dad didn't take me to--"

"Jared, don't you lie to me!" Leah howled. "I swear, if he tries to sneak off to Emily's again--insult my cooking--I'm cooking to have both of your HEADS!"

Jared rolled his eyes. "Dad was talking to some people at the airport, it wasn't my fault."

Leah calmed down enough to pay attention to what her son was saying. "People?" she asked. "What kind of people?"

"Uh, some guy and girl," he answered.

"Do you know who they were?"

He shrugged. "The girl was really pretty,"--he blushed, but his mother took no note of this reaction--"and the guy was really pale. And...he smelt kinda funny. Sickly sweet, if I recall right."

"Sickly sweet?" Leah repeated.

Before Jared had time to react, his mother was ripping past him, and yelling for his father.

"JACOB! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THOSE LEECHES WERE BACK IN TOWN?"

Jared sighed and settled down to the kitchen table. There was a small sampling of...burnt something, his mother's usual dish. Jared wasn't in the mood for something blackened and hard, so he stood and headed for the fridge. There was a picture of Grandpa Billy Black, fourteen years past. Jared had only known him when he was two years old, but his father said that Billy was a great man. Jared trusted his father, and knew he wouldn't respect anyone for no reason, so Billy Black had to be a great man. That's why his picture was on the fridge.

It was strange, but Jared's father had a lot of trouble with letting people go. He had lost a few people, so it wasn't surprising. Jared's brother had been stillborn, and even before that--Leah never let Jacob forget--Jacob had lost Bella Swan.

Jared had listened to his mother and father bicker over Bella-this-and-Bella that for years. Jared had learned to tune the conversation out, especially after his father started accusing his mother of Sam-this-and-Sam-that. The bickering usually ended with Leah and Jacob heading for their room, big grins on their faces, and they didn't come out until the next morning. Jared tried not to think about what happened behind closed doors at night. He preferred to keep his thoughts clean.

Tonight was going to be another one of those nights. Jared could already tell. He retreated to his room the moment Jacob entered the kitchen with Leah snapping at his heels.

"Please, guys," Jared said. "The last time you got pissed off you ruined the table."

Leah and Jacob froze. They had almost let the big secret out last time they fought. Leah had managed to piss Jacob off enough that he changed right there in the kitchen. Jared, thankfully, had been in his room and hadn't come out. He still didn't know about the werewolf thing, and--if he was lucky--he would never have to. The only thing that would cause him to question what was going on was the fact that his parents weren't aging, like some of this friend's parents. That was the only worry Leah and Jacob had.

But not now. If vampires were back in Forks...would that mean that a new batch of werewolves would...? Leah and Jacob didn't want their son to have to go through what they had. They wanted to protect him. They wanted him safe. How could they do that now?

Jared closed the door to his room, and Leah snapped her head to face Jacob.

"They're back, and you didn't tell me," Leah accused.

"I didn't know until today! Honest."

She rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air. "Yeah! Right! So, when were you going to tell me?"

"When Jared went to bed," he promised. "Honestly, honey."

"Oh, don't you honey me, Jake," she snorted. "I can't stand your honey. I want to know who is here and why they're here and for how long."

Jacob sighed. There was no use arguing or delaying. He would have to tell her eventually. "Bella's leech."

"Edwin Cullen or something like that?"

"Yeah, him."

"Damn," Leah snapped. She dropped her head and closed her eyes. "Why is he here?"

"He has some girl with him."

Leah's head snapped up. She knew that tone. She had been the one that comforted Jacob when Bella died. Sam had done his best, but there was only so much he could do. Emily could feed him all she wanted, but she didn't have enough kind words for Jacob. All Jacob's other friends were the same. They tried, but they couldn't reach him. Leah had tried. Leah had been the one to heal him. And, after all that, it seemed that she had been imprinted on him all along. That's why, after he imprinted on her, they had just clicked. No matter how often they fought, they could always heal the wounds. It helped that they healed fast, being werewolves and all.

"Some girl? Like her?"

They didn't say her name anymore, not when it was serious. Sure, Leah would drag up the name for an argument, but not when Jacob was really hurting. She would never do that to him.

"Yeah, a lot like her," he answered; his voice was still quivering, still sad. "She knew a lot more than she said, and she said a lot too. I think she knew what Edward was. She knew what I was too...She knew who I was."

"She knew you were a werewolf?" Leah frowned. This was bad news. "How? Did the leech tell her?"

"No, I don't think so," Jacob insisted. "He wouldn't. We keep our end of the treaty, and they keep theirs."

"They came close to breaking it once before!"

"That was different!" Jacob shouted.

Leah sighed and closed her eyes. She stalked over the the table, where Jacob was seated, and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Remember that he's just a blood-sucker, Jake," she reminded. "Just because he convinced Bella otherwise doesn't mean he wasn't just another leech. He'll do the same to this new girl. He doesn't care. He only wants her blood. When he's done with her, he'll just kill her. Same as he did with Bella."

"No!" Jacob roared. He flipped the chair over when he stood, and Leah leaped back at the sudden movement.

"That was new!" she squealed.

"He's not like that," Jacob insisted. His voice was low, but Leah could hear the doubt in his voice. "He wouldn't...I hate to admit it, but he did love her. He's not going to just start killing innocent girls because he lost her. He'd sooner off himself than do that."

"How can you be sure?" Leah crossed her arms over her chest and waited for her husband's answer.

Jacob's expression twisted as he thought through that day, thought through all he had ever known about Edward Cullen, and everything Bella had ever said about him.

"Sure, sure," he grinned, losing all doubt, but retaining the sadness. "He won't be the one to kill her; she's safe for now."

"Yeah, for now," Leah agreed mockingly. "What about in two years when she tries to marry him and finds herself dead? I don't think 'safe' is the word I'd used then."

"You're right," he admitted. "But not tonight. We can worry about kicking the leech out later."

"Jared is going to be at Rook's house all day Friday. We can warn him then," Leah laughed. "I haven't been out vampire-hunting in years! This'll be fun."

"Let's hope you aren't getting rusty," Jacob mocked laughingly. He wrapped his arms around Leah's waist, ignoring her scowl.

"You're the rusty one, sir."

"I don't think so, honey."

He leaned down and crushed his lips on hers. He kissed her breathless, until she shoved his face off her, grinning all the while.

"Why, Mr. Black," Leah laughed.

"Yes, Mrs. Black? Yes, my sweet? Leah? My, Leah?" he whispered into her neck as he kissed her, up and down, and then along her jaw.

"Just in case Jared gets up..."

"Sure, sure," Jacob agreed. He lifted Leah up--bridal-style--and carried her to their bedroom.

"No more talk of vampires tonight," Leah insisted. "That's Friday's business."

"I promise."

And then Jacob carried Leah into their room and locked the door behind them. Jared didn't get much sleep. He heard strange moans coming through the wall. Post-fight was never fun for Jared Black.

* * *

**Where...am I...?**

I opened my eyes for what felt like the longest time. I had no idea where I was, it was too dark. I felt cramped, I couldn't move.

I had tried to sit up, but my head knocked against something hard the moment I tried. I stretched my arms out, but they were blocked too. I had to keep them locked at my sides. I wiggled my toes, my feet, and kicked at where they were blocked. I was stuck in some sort of black box. I started to panic.

"Hello?" I called. "Is anyone there? Edward? Anyone?" I kicked and wiggled and punched, but I got no movement. "Please! Someone! Anyone!?" I banged my head again on the top of the big box accidentally, and it really hurt. "Ouch!"

I heard a loud sigh. I froze. There was someone outside the box.

"Hello?" I called again.

"Hello," answered a voice. It was a girl. She sounded close to my age, maybe just a little younger. "If I were you, I wouldn't struggle," she warned. "There's no way out. Unless..."

"Unless what?" I demanded. "I need to get to Edward!"

"Oh, no," she said, sounding as if she might scold me. "You can't see him ever again."

My heart stopped. No, it had already stopped. It just ached a lot now. The hole in my chest flared and burned, opening up when she spoke.

"I have to see him," I insisted. "I need to see him!"

"Bella, you can't." Her voice was sad now.

"Why not? Why can't I see him? He's waiting for me! I told him to wait for me!"

"No," she disagreed. "You told him not to kill himself, to live. You never said to wait."

"Sure, sure," I growled. "But that's what I _implied_!"

"Ah, those lovely words!" she cooed. "That's why you woke you, you know? You heard Jacob's voice. You couldn't take ia anymore. You sat perfectly still, knowing that you were with Edward, but then you had to be selfish."

"So?" I scowled...Not that she could see that.

"I can see that," she told me. "There are no secrets here, Bella. We are all in the same body here, the same mind."

Things were beginning to get freaky--and I was the girl who was friends with both vampires and werewolves.

"What do you mean? Where am I...?"

"Well..." She paused. "You were in heaven, for a sec. there, but then you came back."

"I didn't ask where I was, I asked where I was...I mean, where I am," I snapped. "Where am I?"

"The question is more 'who am I'," she corrected. "You are Stephanie Dwyer right now."

"Who?"

I had no idea who this Stephanie Dwyer was but--but she had the same last name as Phil. Was that a coincidence?

"Stephanie Dwyer, who is Bella Swan's half-sister," she explained. "See, you died eighteen years ago, Bella. You decided to mess things up though. You decided that one life wasn't enough for you. So, at the same second you died, out of coincidence, Renee happened to be getting impregnated by Phil, my father."

"Oh." This was not the awkward conversation I wanted to have, but the girl was going keep taling anyways.

"Only, you were trying to push her out, but Stephanie was strong, she wouldn't let you all the way in," the girl continued. "So, I got lucky--or, unlucky in my opinion--and got to keep your second half when I was born. Edward's Bella and Jacob's Bella; Stephanie and Issie."

I was frozen solid again. I wasn't sure what to think. According to some girl--Issie, somehow I knew her name was Issie--I had been...what? Reincarnated twice?

"Yeah, pretty much," she said, reading my thoughts. "But your not supposed to wake up, Bella. You're going to complicate things."

"I need to be with Edward! Please!" I begged. "Let me see him!"

"Bella, Bella, Bella," she chanted. "You've been seeing him for eighteen years now...Well, twenty. Let's count the two years that you were alive in your own body."

"What?"

"You've been forcing Stephanie and I to dream about your live for all our lives!" Her voice was harsh now; hard, unforgiving. "I started to dream about your Jacob--I thought of him as my Jacob, but he wasn't." She paused, and I thought I heard a little sob escape her. "Edward loves Stephanie now. So you should leave us alone. You've ruined our lives already, Bella."

"I haven't done anything!" I argued. "Let me see Edward! Please."

"No!"

I slammed on the box, wiggled, punched, kicked; I moved in any way I could. I forced myself against it, and I heard Issie's shouts, ordering me to stay still. I wouldn't. I had to find Edward. Whether I was in heaven or some strange hell or even inside some girl names Stephanie Dwyer, I had to get out. I had to escape now.

"Bella! It's not only us you'll hurt," she cried. "You'll hurt Edward too!"

I stopped moving.

I heard her sigh. "Thank you for finally listening."

I calmed my breathing. My chest was aching. I choked on whatever air I could drag into my lungs. My throat seemed to be getting narrower.

"How would seeing Edward hurt him?" I asked. "He loves me."

"Yes, he does," she agreed hastily. "But he's going to love Stephanie."

"No," I said. I was sobbing for some reason. I didn't believe her--couldn't believe her--but I was sobbing nonetheless.

"Yes he does," she repeated. She was smug now. "Bella, you've been dead for eighteen years. Stephanie is going to heal him. She's already given him so much hope. If you come back..." She paused for a long time. I held my breath for wait seemed like days. "You'll hurt him."

"I need to see him, talk to him." Tears fell over my cheeks, and I sobbed uncontrollably. "I need Edward!"

I saw a flash of Jacob's face. He was older by a few years. He had aged just a little.

"Jacob!" I gasped. "See! It can't have been eighteen years! He's still young!"

"Remember that werewolves don't age as long as they're still using their wolf form," Issie reminded me. "He can't seem to stop. He likes the feel of freedom that comes with it."

_I didn't look back. What did it matter to me if I had hurt Jacob Black? I didn't care, right? It didn't matter._

"Where did that voice come from?" I asked. "Who was that?"

Issie didn't answer. There was a long silence. I listened to my breathe, it had calmed. There was another set of lungs. They were working too hard.

"You shouldn't be bale to hear that," Issie said. Her voice was low; she was panicking.

What did it matter to me if I had hurt Jacob Black?

"Wrong. Your wrong," Issie cried. "That's Jacob, Jake, my Jacob. He's hurt. You hurt him. Why did you do that to him? You care! Or at least...I do. Steph, I care. He matters to me...He matters to me..."

"And me," I muttered. "And Edward. Issie, please, let me see him."

"No, I can't, I..."

I waited. She was quiet. She was debating--I hoped.

I heard Edward's voice, just a hum from far away. I heard him chuckle. I sighed. I was close to him, I could feel it.

"Three days," Issie sobbed. "How can I keep you here for another three days!?"

"Let me out, Issie," I begged. "Let me free."

"No!" she shrieked. "I promised Stephie! She's going to have a life! She'll get to love! I won't let her go through what I had to go through! You won't ruin her life, Bella!"

I shrunk back, sinking into the black box further. Issie was terrified, and she was hurt. She had said that I had been the one to hurt her. How could that be if I had been trapped in a box for eighteen years? None of her stories made sense. I could see flashes of Edward here and there, but nothing extraordinary--okay, so everything Edward was extraordinary, but nothing extraordinary for him. There were some memories I didn't remember happening. I never remembered visiting a graveyard...and I certainly didn't remember having a fascination with Anne Rice novels.

I didn't remember learning to ride a bike with another little girl cheering me on. Why was the bike pink? I had a red bike when I was a little girl.

Christmas. Why was I celebrating...? Why was Phil there...? Who was...? I saw Renee, and the other little girl was Issie. It had to be. So...whose memories were I seeing? Why did it feel like I had been there too?

"Three days," I mumbled tiredly. "I have to see Edward in three days."

I closed my eyes, and didn't open them until I heard a voice calling my name, the only voice I ever wanted to hear. But it wasn't my name being called, it was _hers_.

* * *

**If I confused you, I am sorry. If you liked it, I am delighted. FYI, that last section was in Bella's POV, just in case you were having an off day and couldn't tell. Now, the section before it was in third person all around. I haven'****t written in third person for a VERY long time, so I hope it wasn't dreadful. **

**To those of you who actually like Jacob Black, I hope I did him justice. And, FYI, Jacob and Leah are going to keep that Friday thing. (If you are keeping track, Friday is when all seven day's of Issie's warning are up.)...(If you are also keeping track, Alice couldn't see Stephanie's future because of werewolves, not anything else. So, -hint, hint. nudge, nudge- Alice should be able to see what's going to happen, right?)**

**REVIEW! Much appreciation to all of you who read this.**


	12. Chapter 12: The Superman Theory

**"When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you... When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you... When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you... Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you." - unknown**

* * *

**Chapter 12: The Superman Theory**

I had told Edward about hearing Is's voice in my head, and then about what she had said. Edward had been incredibly calm—for a while. I told him about how I had had an imaginary friend named Jacob as a child, and how much Is had adored him. I could see Edward become more rigid with every mention of Jacob's name. I was sure it had nothing to do with Is, and every thing to do with Jacob and Bella. What history had they had that made Edward loathe the idea of Jacob being close to me and my sister?

* * *

"_I think I might have been wrong before_, _you know_, _about not being able to be friends_. _Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line_. _Come see me_."

What had Is said all those years? About Jacob being her best friend? I had been her only real friend as a kid, and she had been mine. Jacob was her friend even more than I was, but he wasn't real. Was he?

_"I feel human." He stared past me, his face far away. His lower lip trembled, and he bit down on it hard. _

_"Oh, Jake," I whispered, reaching for his hand._

_This was why I was here. This is why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because, underneath all of the anger and sarcasm, Jacob was in pain. Right now, it was very clear in his eyes. I didn't know how to help him, but I knew I had to try. It was more then I owed him. It was because his pain hurt me, too. Jacob had become a part of me, and there was no changing that now. _

* * *

I could remember tears. I remembered dreams where I had cried over red-brown fur, the loss of heat, and hearing a horrible, pained howl while I was safe, right next to Edward in some tent. Other than rare flashes, Jacob hadn't starred in my dreams enough to take effect on me. Edward was the only star in my dreams, and he shone too bright for me to see anything—or anyone—else.

"You look plenty human to me," I allowed. "At the moment."

After blushing at the wrong moment, saying how in love Is had been, talking about my imaginary Jacob-werewolf affectionately, Edward's expression turned furious. He didn't say anything, but he couldn't mask his anger.

"Edward? Did I say something...?" I asked.

"No, it was nothing you did," he answered. "It has nothing to do with you."

"But it has to do with you. That makes it very important to me."

He sighed and slowly loosened his grip on the steering wheel—which looked as if it might break under his firm strength.

"Jacob...was in love with Bella," he explained. "And she loved him, in a way."

"Not as much as she loved you," I countered. "I don't think any old puppy can compare to you, no matter of cuddly. You're more."

"More? Of what?" he chuckled.

"More of every thing," I explained. "Whatever her feelings were for Jacob, they paled in comparison. You are so much more than air or sunlight or anything of the physical world." I blushed as I spoke, and Edward's eyes fell on me, never wavering back to the road for an instant. "Your my life, and I think...I think Bella felt the same. I know that if you ever left me, I would never heal—not unless you came back. No, even then...it would hurt. But I wouldn't turn to anyone else. There is only you and...even though I didn't always know it...there has only ever been you, and there always will be. Call me psycho if you want, but it's true. I know Bella felt the same. There's no way around it." I smiled to myself and avoided Edward's eyes. "Call me crazy, but I don't think a space heater compares to a diamond any day."

It was silent, and I didn't want to see Edward looking at me. If I did, he would probably call me crazy.

"I'm sorry," I whispered shyly. "I'm not very good with words, and sometimes I just blabber things out when I'm around you, because I trust you so much."

"I _want_ you to trust me," Edward insisted. His voice was so urgent that my head snapped toward him of its own accord. "Speak your mind, please. I want to know every thing your thinking. Just tell me what's on your mind, always."

I blushed. His eyes were smoldering. His eyes, liquid gold, were pouring out at me, too tempting for any mortal girl to resist. How did Bella stand it? She must have been all over him.

"This is going to sound stupid," I warned. "But I have a request."

"Go ahead." Pouring out liquid gold, smoldering, he smiled at me, softly and sweetly. The sun, barely shining in through the window, touched his skin and caused him to shine just enough to remind me of the meadow...

I gulped. Why was this so hard? Why was I so nervous? I must have done this a thousand times. Why did I have to ask? I felt the need to voice it though. I had taken too much to action and not enough to words.

"I would like very much to kiss you know," I said. "But I'm not sure if this is the right time.."

"Anytime is the right time," he assured me.

"Oh, well. Why does every thing you say sound so perfect?" I scowled suddenly, resisting the urge to kiss him and leap at him until there wasn't a single space on my body that wasn't touching him. "One day, I am going to master the art of talking like you, then we can compete properly."

"Compete with what?" He sounded like he didn't get what I was saying at all. I wondered if I was going to fast for him. Occasionally, my mind was hard to understand, especially when spoken aloud. Words weren't my speciality, and I wasn't usually so verbose.

"To see you can be the most alluring," I answered, shifting my weight toward him, but keeping my distance as best as I could in the small space of the car. "Usually, you win, and I find that I forget to breath. That's not good. So, if _I_ happen to take your breath away, then it won't matter so much. You don't need air."

"You take my breath away every day, love," he assured me, reaching his hand to cup my chin and edge me closer to him. "Every second, every moment. But, as you said, I don't need air. I hide it better than you do."

"Why hide it?" I asked. My words were breathy and already my heart raced as if it were competing with the usual speed that Edward drove. My heart was aiming to compete in speed with a Volvo while I was aiming to compete in words with a vampire. I was probably going to lose.

"I don't hide it," he said. "You just don't notice it."

"Oh. Aren't I the most unobservant silly girl in the world?"

"You are silly, my love," he agreed. "Very silly, and very beautiful."

I grinned. I blushed and looked away. I stared out the window for only a second before closing my eyes. Edward's hand had fallen from my chin and was now on my shoulder.

"Don't say anything more," I said.

"Why not?" He was worried, as if I could ever turn him away.

"This moment, it's too perfect. I need a second to digest it all. My brain can only take to much at one time." I sighed and opened my eyes. Looking at the window, I saw his reflection, confused, but willing to give me a moment. "I never thought I would hear it," I murmured. "I had no idea I was waiting to hear it; but I was. And now, I've heard it."

"Heard what?"

I giggled quietly and spun around. I was confusing Edward a lot today. It wasn't so easy figuring a silly girl's mind out. I leaned in close to him, smiling, and put my hands on either side of his face as I spoke.

"Beautiful, you said," I explained. "You never implied it in quite the right way before. But now, I know you mean it. I can feel that. I don't know if I agree with it yet, but I do feel it. It's close; it's a tangible thing." I paused to draw in a deep breath. "And I am going to kiss you know and you aren't going to resist me."

I brushed my lips across hi gently, and then harder and he began to move with me. His arm, tight and comfortable on my back, held my close to him. I nearly forgot that we were in his car still, except I had to work around the small space. It wasn't too much of a probably, the space, because we we trying to get cramped in close anyways. The probably was the gap in between the seats that I had to shove over. Edward kept me balanced though, and I never tilted wrongly for a second. His hand on my face, still it's usual temperature, felt colder as my face lit fire underneath the skin. I felt Edward's lips curve into a smile, responding to the quickened pitter-patter of my heart beat and the flush of my skin. I was hot everywhere, and he was cold everywhere. We balanced perfectly.

When I was breathless, Edward took it as a sign to slow down. I had to admit, the flight had sucked out all of my enegry. I had used it all up talking to Jacob Black, hearing Issie's voice, talking to Edward, and then kissing him until both of us were breathless. Edward's gentle pecks against my neck and jaw and the corners of my lips sent calming shivers up my spine. My eyelids were drooping, so I couldn;t catch glimpses of her angel's face again. My body drooped, and I laid my head on his shoulder. His lips touched my eyelid, and then my cheeks, each in turn. His coold hand brushed against my warm face. I heard a familiar hum, and drifted into unconsciousness.

* * *

Breathe. In, and then out. Don't remember anything that hurts, because there's no reason remember it. Every thing is perfect now. Take no second to forget that, no matter the distractions. So...what was I doing again?

I opened my eyes. Instantly, I remembered. Right, Edward was taking me to my house, to drop off my suitcase, and allow me to clean up a bit. It had been a long flight back, and I was home now, so I could relax. Edward was beside me. There was nothing to worry about, never again. I was completely settled.

"I think we're here," I sighed. Last thing I remembered was parking outside my house. I had probably fallen asleep. I raised my head off Edward's shoulder, and blushed upon remembering what had happened. "Oh, never mind."

Edward chuckled. "We've been here for a while, Steph."

"Yeah," I said, blushing deeper. "I remember that now."

I glanced around the room—my room—and sighed at how messy it was. I hadn't put laundry away for a week. How was it I had survived that long? It was slumped on my floor by the dresser. There was a stack of old notes on the dresser, ones that I had used to study for finals. Those needed to be either thrown out or stored. They couldn't stay in a scattered blob so out in the open. I couldn't believe that Edward was seeing my room like this. Bella was probably a better house keeper than me.

But that didn't matter. I had to stop comparing myself to Bella. I was Stephanie Dwyer, and I was the one with the wonderfully messy room that contained my memories. And now, on the bed, the room contained me and Edward right next to each other. Edward had his hand caressing my cheek and his other arm was around my shoulders. It was incredibly comfortable. I was tempted to fall back asleep, just to make sure we stayed like that—for forever would be nice. Even if I had to adopt the name "Sleeping Beauty," I would do it. Because, to Edward, I was beautiful, and he would stay. Why not catch up on my lost sleep hours while I was at it? I could multi-task.

"How long was I out?"

"Not long," he assured me. "Only an hour."

"An hour?" I frowned. "Sorry. I'm a terrible hostess. I should have woken sooner. I let you stare at my unkempt room for an hour. You must be disgusted at this mess." I tut-tutted for a second, and then took another look around. "Although, if you were disgusted enough, you might have taken the time to help clean up the dresser. I really need to toss those notes out..or recycle. Go environment."

He chuckled. "Nothing about you could disgust me. You are the opposite of revulsion."

"Even my room?"

He took a second to gaze at the mess. The sunlight glinting through the window wasn't enough to bring light into the room. There was only a faint hint of light. No wonder I had stayed asleep when he brought me inside.

"I dare say it comes close," he admitted, hitting me hard with his breath-taking, crooked smile. "But no nearly close enough."

"Oh, that's good. I'm glad you say it on a clean day then."

"This is...clean?" He mimicked the essence of shock. I could tell it was acting.

"Oh, yeah," I said, playing along, trying to sound completely serious, even though I was near laughing. "I promised Renee to keep it clean while she was gone. No more keeping rotten apple cores, no more trash heaps, and no more giant, pet rats. I was sad to see Frankie go. He was a good mutated rat."

"Ah, mutated rats. They're just about as lovable as werewolves."

I panicked and shot Edward a look. He was smiling, but barely. "Tell me your not being serious," I begged.

"About what?" His smile grew, and I knew he was taunting me.

"Giant rats? For a second I almost believed you. I was about to freak out and alert the media that mutant rats do exist." I shook my head and sighed. "Good thing I have more brains than that. Mutant rats? Ha! What kind of moron believes in mythical creatures?"

"Yes, indeed, what kind of moron?" Edward mused. "The pretty kind of moron, I suppose."

"I believe in on very specific group of mythical creature," I whispered. "One amazing specimen in particular. He's pretty much Prince Charming."

"I don't know about that," he grimaced. "I never did like those...tights...he wore."

"You're right," I agreed. "Robin Hood is the only one who can pull the tights thing off. Him and Superman. But, you've already mastered the Superman thing."

"How have I mastered being Superman?"

"You haven't mastered being him specifically, you've just out-ranked him," I explained. "His bone-crippling weakness is kryptonite, and yours is...I'm going to say blood. Since you seem to have no problem resisting blood, that I've seen, and Superman is always wincing, even when he manages to walk with kryptonite laser beams zapping at him, you win there."

"So my weakness is less than his, so therefore I win?" he guessed laughingly.

"That's only one weakness," I said. "Superman has two more." Edward seemed puzzled, to I tried to explain. "Superman likes protecting people, and the bad guy usually doesn't care. It's hard to fight off a radiating monster when you're carrying literally a bus-load of people. I'm sure you care for people too. If some monster—let's call him rogue werewolf slash rogue vampire—chucks a bus, you're going to try and save the people, right?"

"You assume a lot," he murmured.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I assume. But you would, wouldn't you?"

He took a moment to answer. Our eyes were locked, and both of us felt our ears burning for the answer. Edward's fingers swept across my forehead and pushed a stray hair behind my ear.

"Yes, I would help them. You assume correctly," he promised me. "Thank you for having such great faith in me."

"I told you that I believed in a specific vampire," I reminded him. "It wasn't a lie; I can't lie; I believe in you, Edward."

He smiled and kissed my forehead. "Now," he said, "about this third weakness?"

"Lois Lane," I stated simply. "Weakness of Clark Kent and Superman. He risked every thing, his life, the safety of the world, all to save her life."

"Ah," Edward grinned. "And is this where you compare yourself to Lois Lane to prove that I am stronger than a fictional superhero?"

"No." I blushed hard, but didn't look away. "Someone else was your Lois Lane. I'm only your Lana Lang."

"Lana Lang?"

"Clark Kent loved her, but she never could take the place of Lois Lane. Superman never loved Lana Lang, and Lana Lang never really loved Superman," I explained. "But Lana loved Clark Kent. She didn't love the fancy powers, or the tights. She cared for the sweet, fumbling guy. She cared for him because he was a decent guy. Lois Lane didn't notice Clark, the man inside the suit."

"My Lana Lang," he laughed sweetly. "My Stephanie."

"My Edward," I countered, not taking a chance to hide myself in another deep blush. I was glad that he chose to ignore how bitter I sounded about Bella—who was obviously his Lois Lane. "Are you going to let me meet your family now?"

"Of course."

Hand in hand, we slid off the bed. I shuffled myself over so that I was touching him, arm to arm, when we stood. I liked the feel of his eyes on me, gentle, despite being golden fire. I couldn't stop smiling. The whole ride over, holding hands still, I was all smiles. Edward didn't bring up the alter-ego again, and I was glad that I didn't have to continue the Lana Lang charade. I had never liked her character, is had always been so obvious that Superman and Lois Lane were meant to be. Lana Lang showed up to stir the pot. She was going to leave anyways, just as soon as Lois came back from her business trip...

"Stephanie?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"Huh?" I took a moment to focus. Edward's eyes, fixated on me, were concerned. "Nothing's wrong. Why do you ask?"

His hand left mine so that he could touch his finger to my cheek and brush my tear away. I scowled at the traitor-tear. I had been perfectly happy a second ago! Why did one single tear have to come along and ruin the moment?

"It's nothing," I lied.

He didn't believe me. "You can trust me, remember?"

"How could I forget?" I asked rhetorically. "I was thinking about..." I hesitated. Edward's hand found mine again; he was ready to comfort me, as if I was the one who needed it. "I was thinking about Lois Lane and Superman again."

"You rather be Lois Lane now?" he guessed. I shot him a look. "Sorry. Go on."

I bit my lip. How to explain...? I watched him out of the corner of my eyes as I spoke. He kept his eyes on the road, for once. "Lana left," I said. "Because Clark wanted Lois. And Lois...came back. It would take all the kryptonite to keep that alien away from Lois. Even then, he would struggle against it. All it took was one girl to take Clark away from Lana. Just one busy-body reporter with a charming smile and a quick tongue." I let my words linger in the air for a minute, and inhaled deeply to finish. "I think I would like to be there," I continued. "When Lois comes back, just like in the Superman movie. It would be nice to see...just to compare...And it wouldn't hurt much if she was jealous."

Edward didn't respond. He didn't have to. We had arrived. I was ready to face Edward's family, even if they glared at me with knives for eyes, even if all they could think of was how I was replacing Bella, I was ready.

"Ready?" Edward asked.

I laughed. "You have no idea."

I didn't even think about the fact that I had a little less than three days of peace leftover with Edward. I was determined to stay with Edward--in peace--even after the upcoming disaster.

Even if the business trip is over, and she comes home.

* * *

**"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.  
Watch your words, for they become actions.  
Watch your actions, for they become habits.  
Watch your habits, for they become character.  
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."**

* * *

**— _And th-th-th-th-that's all, folks_! So, review! It's short, I know. But..sweet? Maybe? Yes? No? OK.**


	13. Chapter 13: How He Really Feels

**_"To hide the key to your heart is to risk forgetting where you placed it." - Timothy Childers  
_**

* * *

"Well, then. That was not what I had initially expected. I had expected one of two things. A) They would hate me. B) They would, out of the blue, love me.  
Option B) had been my overly optimitic side kicking in. Option A) was, well, predictable. I had invaded their lives, and I was replacing Bella, the human they had all cared for. It was only expected that they would hate me.

But no, neither of those reactions occurred. Sure, Alice had adjusted to me (rather quickly, I might add) and Jasper was willing to go with whatever Alice thought. They were the only two reactions I had been counting on. Rosalie I had met before--although I had been drowsy and half asleep at the time. She had been (how to put this politely?) not pleased with me. Emmett was all smiles all the time. His was another reaction I had counted on, now that I recount the events that took place. He didn't act as I had expected him to though, and that made things all the more confusing. I hadn't anticipated any reaction from Esme, whom I had already met and hugged and apologized to. Carlisle, again, no expectation.

Another thing I had expected though, was that Edward would make me feel welcome and convince everyone that I was A-okay. That dream was dashed when--irony--Carlilse was the one to make me feel welcome.

Now, I'll have to explain this to you very slowly," I warned.

"_Why_?"

I closed my eyes. "Well, because I'm sure that my emotions are going to get in the way of what actually took place."

She didn't speak aloud again; I was waking up, so she couldn't I could hear her thoughts though. Once again, she used those thoughts of hers to communicate with me.

_I know them_; _I'll know what reactions you mean_.

"But they don't react properly! They were...strange. I now know why, but give me a minute to recollect my thoughts, okay?" I growled. Thankfully, Edward wasn't around at the moment--downstairs, maybe?--so he didn't hear me shouting at myself.

_Okay_._ I'll wait_. _I've got forever to wait_.

"Yeah, I know. And I have a scar and three painful days to prove it," I reminded her.

_Just get on with the story_, _Steph_.

"Whatever you say, Bella."

* * *

**Chapter 13: How He Really Feels  
**

"Ready?" Edward asked.

I laughed. "You have no idea."

The sun was bright overhead, and Edward sparkled somewhat because of it. There was an intense heat that could only mean summer. My warm hand inside Edward's cold hand was a welcome treat to bear the heat. He helped me out of the Volvo like the gentleman he was, and lead toward the deep porch that wrapped around the first story.

For all my life, short or long, the beautiful white house would never cease to amaze me. It was old, but timeless in a way; a perfect restoration of the graceful architecture. I knew that Esme had fixed it up, as a hobby or passion of hers. I had to remind myself to compliment her on the wonderful job. I would taken away some of the windows myself, but, it was like Edward had said once...

"_It's not what you expected_, _is it_?" _he asked_, _his voice smug_.  
"_No_," _I admitted_.  
"_No coffins_, _no piled skulls in the corners_; _I don't even think we have cobwebs...what a disappointment this must be for you_," _he continued slyly_.  
_I ignored his teasing_. "_It's so light...so open_."  
_He was more serious when he answered_. "_It's the one place we never have to hide_."

He had said it to Bella, but I could tell that hadn't changed. This was still their home. It was open because they didn't have to hide. It was a wonderful notion.

The porch didn't creak or anything; it was too well put-together for that. It looked clean; considerable clean for being outside. I wondered what vampires did on there days off...when they weren't hunting, did they go around cleaning houses? Did they get jobs? Like Carlisle? He was a doctor, but that was because he wanted to save lives, and make up for what he had become; make up for the sins of his entire race. Esme fixed houses up, probably cleaned when it got dirty--but how often was that? She probably kept it too clean, so that not even germs wanted to stop by for any given time--or else be wiped out. What did Rosalie and Emmett do when they weren't off getting married again? Did they sit around, watch walls, or did they make-out all day and night? I hoped not. I really didn't want to picture that. What did Alice do when she wasn't having her visions? (Or tracking Edward down?) Did Jasper just watch her have visions and then they called it a day? Or did Jasper drag Alice around so they could have a laugh while some poor person had sudden and unexpected mood swings? Or did the Cullens just do nothing all day long, for all eternity? Boring, but what else was there to do when you had forever to deal with?

I knew that Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett pretended to be high school students a lot. Edward had told me that Alice and Jasper wanted to try going to school in Japan, so that they could brush up on their Japanese. They had tried that for while, but they finishes high school there and came back to find Edward. They had hoped Edward had..."recovered"...or so Edward told me, from his perspective. What had they done in the remainder of the eighteen years?

Rosalie and Emmett had gone to France. I remembered that from my many questions in the car ride over to my birthday dinner. Rosalie and Emmett had brushed up on their French, tried school there, traveled France, and then went to Africa to see Carlisle and Esme. They had come to see Edward, and found him with me. Now, they were back again, with Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme.

But did they do this all the time? Is that what all vampires did--wander from one place to another, faking a new identity as they went about an ever-changing world? It seemed like an incredibly lonely life for anyone who didn't have a family like the Cullens. No other vampire could be as happy as they were. They had family to trust, and love with them as they went on living. I would never choose to be a solitary vampire. If I were ever changed, I would want a family like the Cullens. As far as what I would do with my life...I would spend the time solving difficult equations. Like "which came first; the chicken or the egg?"

Oh, wait. A friend of mine had already solved that one. Catlin, one of the only people in the world I could ever come close to calling friend, had solved it just a short while before her announcement of her engagement to Seth. She had said, very simply: "All the animals in the garden of Eden were adult, right? So, it was the chicken. And there was a rooster too. Then, they had many baby-egg things. End of story." I remember laughing at that. It was strange, because I didn't laugh very often--but I had laughed. That's why I knew Catlin was a good person and possible friend. She had been the only one outside my family who could reach me after Is died.

_She's kinda like Angela_...

I ignored the sudden thought in my head. I hadn't thought it, and that wasn't Issie's voice. It was better to leave well enough alone. I didn't have a lot of time leftover. I wasn't going to waste it thinking on ghosts.

I barely noticed Edward pulling me through the front door. I had been staring absently at my surroundings, almost forgetting to walk. I smiled at Edward, but he wasn't looking at me--for once. It was strange. I allowed my smile to falter, and continued to follow him inside. I didn't like that he was frowning. Was someone not open to welcoming me into their home again?

"Hello, Stepher-heffer-pherfeffer!" Alice cheered. She bounded forward and kissed my cheek. I was a little stunned, but, she was Alice, so it was almost expected.

"Uh, hi, Alice," I greeted. "Hi, Jasper." He was right behind her. Alice grinned back at him, and he was silently laughing at her.

"Hi, Steph," he said in response to my greeting. His was as light-hearted as Alice was. I officially liked them first. I was going to remember that forever--er--until I died.

"Esme," I smiled softly, taking in Edward's adopted mother. She looked softer, more rounded, than the others. Every thing about her, from her caramel-coloured hair, reminded of a motherly look.

She smiled at me. "Stephanie, I'm pleased to meet you again."

"And I you, I'm very glad to see you again," I agreed. "And Alice, and Jasper..." I glanced around the room and smiled at the other two I had met before. "And Rosalie and Emmett."

Emmett laughed, booming, just as before. "Well, you didn't forget who we were, so that's a good sign."

"How could I forget?" I laughed. "It's not every day I meet a vampire-family."

"I would say not," Rosalie said through clenched teeth. Her eyes were fixated on me, tense and worried. Her expression was cheerful; she was hiding her reluctance to see me again. "You're not easily forgettable yourself."

"That's a...good thing, right?"

Rosalie nodded, as did Emmett. "Absolutely," Emmett told me. "We don't meet B--" He cut short and his eyes flashed wide for a second. "Er, sorry. It's not every day we meet...girls like yourself."

I grimaced at the awkward attempt at regular conversation. He had been about to say "We don't meet Bella look-a-likes everyday," but had stopped himself short. I tried to smile and thank him for his attempt. "No, not every day, I guess," I said. "But, I do. Everyday in the mirror."

"Vain, much, Steph?" Alice joked. "Are you that tied to your reflection?"

"Well, I'm hardly going to walk out of my house with haystack-looking hair," I retorted. "Remember, I sleep, so I do get bed-head."

Alice shrugged. "Sure, blame us for something we can't control."

"Sorry," I mumbled, not sure if she was joking.

"Ah, that's okay," Alice giggled. "I was only playing with you! I don't look in mirrors myself anymore...the image never changes."

I didn't know what to say to that. The image never changes? How strange...I never thought about it, but every single day there was a new me in the mirror. How strange it would be if that new me wasn't there anymore, if I was a constant. No more growing, no getting older, and no emotional effects on my appearance. I would be me, forever. I shivered at the thought.

"And this is Carlisle," Edward introduced.

I gazed over to where Edward had gestured. Carlisle really was a movie star. He could star in one of those hospital dramas. He had the looks and the know-how. He was tall, blonde, and as beautiful as any man--rather, vampire--could get. (Although, he couldn't compare to Edward.)

"Hello, Carlisle," I said, sounding a little too formal. "I am very pleased to meet you for the first time."

Carlisle grinned crookedly--which made me wonder if, just maybe, Edward was secretly genetically related to Carlisle after all.

"I'm pleased to meet you as well, Stephanie," he greeted. "You are very welcome here."

"Especially since you got Edward out of that sulking mode," Alice stage-whispered.

I laughed. Edward scowled at her. Alice sneered for a second. She straightened her body up and looked at me, dropping her sneer. She sniffed the air. I was a little surprised by that.

"You don't have the same scent," she commented. The room froze. Edward was stiff beside me, and I became suddenly aware that he wasn't holding my hand anymore. I hoped that didn't mean anything. I intertwined my fingers together, and wrung them nervously, waiting impatiently for the awkward silence to end.

"Edward, I've been meaning to speak with you," Alice piped, realizing the damage she had done. "Would this be an okay time?"

Edward looked at me, and I looked at him. I shrugged. "Go ahead," I encouraged. "Now is as good as later, right?"

He nodded. He hesitated, but he followed Alice into the other room. I smiled absently at the remaining five vampires. I wondered if any of them were thinking about eating me...I already knew the answer, but it was an interesting question to ask myself. (I wasn't going to ask aloud, that would be crazy and would increase the already awkward atmosphere.)

"How were things in Africa?" I asked Carlisle. "Edward told me you went there to offer your services to those who couldn't afford it otherwise."

He nodded and smiled politely. "Yes, but there was only so much I can do. Money is one thing; actually purchasing supplies that will work is another matter entirely. Humans haven't come up with enough vaccines yet, so I can only work with what I've got."

I nodded. "Yeah. I guess so." I cast my eyes to the floor for a second. I had questioned about a slightly touchy subject, so it was better to drop it and move on to another.

"You went to Denali, right? Where the other vampire clan is, the ones who are like you?" I questioned. "And...the strawberry-blonde one..._Tanya_..."

I saw Rosalie's hand shoot to her mouth to cover a grin, and Emmett's eyes widened in shock, as did his not-very-subtle-grin. Jasper seemed a little surprised too, but not as much as the others. Esme seemed to be considering why there was a jealous note in my tone.

"Yes, we went to Denali," Rosalie answered. "We hadn't seen them in a while. They finally got over being bitter over...Laurent's death."

"Oh, right," I recalled. "Because the werewolves killed him. And...who was it that took a liking to Laurent? I forgot."

Now everyone was beyond stunned. I wondered if I should apologize, or maybe just hide. I could sneak out the front door quietly; they were so frozen with shock they might not notice me leave.

"It's hard to believe, isn't it?" Rosalie sneered. "I don't know how--but she isn't Bella. That's that."

She stormed out, and I could feel the brush of wind behind me as the door closed.

"_Rose_," Emmett whined. "I'm sorry Bella." He frowned, and then he, too, vanished out the door.

I gaped. I had almost forgotten about being called by _that_ name. I was getting used to being called by my own name. How silly of me to think for a second that I was me! They weren't all here to meet me because of who I was; it was because of who I reminded them of. I was just a curiosity, not an original being.

I closed my eyes and tried to remember what mattered. Edward mattered. He thought of me as me, not as her. That was what counted. Alice had already officially differentiated me from Bella; she counted too. The others might some day see the difference as well. I had to wait for that.

A feeling of calm spread over me. I shot my eyes open and stared at Jasper.

"Very subtle," I commented.

"But it helps, right?" Jasper asked.

"It does," I admitted. "That must come in handy."

He cracked a sideways smile. "You have know idea."

I shrugged. "I have some idea," I corrected. "The hotel room in Phoenix, for one."

It was quiet again, but the the quiet was filled with a note of acceptance, rather than plain old awkward and nervous (the nervous being my emotion, not theirs).

"How much do remember of her life?" Esme asked in a sad, but curious tone.

"All of it, but not all at once," I answered. "I remember some things all the time, but others things come and go. Different situations bring certain memories of hers to my mind." I paused, trying to think of a way to explain it to her properly. "For example, seeing you, Carlisle, reminds me of her many trips to the hospital."

"That's not a very pleasant memory," Carlisle frowned.

"You would be surprised," I grinned sheepishly.

"..._You have nothing to worry about_," _he promised_, _stroking my cheek with the lightest of touches_. "_Your only job now is to heal_."  
_I wasn't so lost to the soreness or the fog of medication that I didn't respond to his touch_. _The beeping of the monitor jumped around erratically_ -- _now he wasn't the only one who could hear my heart misbehave_.  
"_That's going to be embarrassing_," _I muttered to myself_.  
_He chuckled_, _and a speculative look came into his eye_. "_Hmm_, _I wonder_..."  
_He leaned in slowly_; _the beeping noise accelerated wildly before his lips even touched me_. _But when they did_, _though with the most gentle of pressure_, _the beeping stopped altogether_.

"Most memories are good," I explained. "There's not enough room for the bad ones. They all pale in comparison really."

"_Well_, _that's everyone_," _I sighed_. "_I can clear a room_, _at least_."  
"_It's not your fault_,"_ Carlisle comforted me with a chuckle_. "_It could happen to anyone_."  
"Could," _I repeated_. "_But it usually happens to me_."  
_He laughed again_.  
I recalled the_ 'plink, plink' _sound.  
"_How can you do this_? _I demanded_. "_Even Alice and Esme_..." _I trailed off_, _shaking my head in wonder_. _Though the rest of them had given up the traditional diet of vampires just as absolutely as Carlisle had_, _he was the only one who could bear the smell of my blood without suffering from intense temptation_. _Clearly_, _this was much more difficult than he made it seem_.  
"_Years and years of practice_," _he told me_. "_I barely notice the scent anymore_."  
"_Do you think it would be harder if you took a vacation from the hospital for a long time_? _And you weren't around any blood_?"  
"_Maybe_." _He shrugged his shoulders_, _but his hands remained steady_. "_I've never felt the need for an extended holiday_." _He flashed a brilliant smile in my direction_. "_I enjoy my work too much_."

"Hospitals are on reoccurring theme," I said. "But, the most important thing I've come to recognize about Bella's life is that she felt loved. You were her family, and that's why I can understand why I'm intruding here. I'm sorry if this hurts all of you too much."

"Not at all," Esme assured me. "We all cared for Bella very much..." She closed her eye and gathered her strength to continue. "But that doesn't mean we can't accept you," she told me. "You seem like a very sweet girl, and we're glad that Edward found you."

I smiled in thanks. Esme was motherly, and she was very sweet herself.

"It's going to take time," Carlisle warned me, taking a closer step toward Esme and placing an arm around her shoulders. "I hope you can be patient with us, and accept are hesitations."

"Of course I can. I know we've hardly met, but I feel like we have, and I care for all of you already. I'm just sorry that I have to put all of you through this," I apologized, dropping my eyes to the floor. "It's a little late to go back now, so I'll have to get used to hesitations."

"It's strange," Esme said, causing me to look up. "But I feel the same. You've helped heal Edward, and I appreciate that so much. I hope you can stick around--if we don't scare you off with how terrible rude we're being." She frowned at the door behind me.

I laughed. "Oh, yeah. I think that's an acceptable reaction," I assured her. "I can't even imagine what I would do if someone came to visit me and looked exactly like my sister and had all her memories..." I trailed off, bit my lip and tried not to let tears slip into my eyes. I was being a hypocrite, but it was a painful thought. Issie had spent her life as a copy, just as I had; it would be painful to think that someone else had to go through what we did.

"I'm sorry about your sister," Esme murmured. "I haven't heard much about her, but I'm sure you cared for her very much."

"I did." I released my lip and glanced at Esme, whose eyes were warm with understanding. "She was my only real friend; the only one who understood what I was going through. I miss her still, but who wouldn't? Death is not an easy thing to deal with. The pain never fades; it dulls, but forever remains."

Esme rested her hand on my shoulder. I hadn't seen her quick movement, so I was startled. Thankfully, I did not jump. I switched my shocked expression to that of gratitude.

"Maybe Bella and your sister are watching us now," she told me. "I'm sure they are both very glad that we have found each other."

"Maybe," I agreed. "I hope so."

"I know so," Esme grinned. "So don't you worry."

I laughed lightly. "I won't. Thank you, Esme."

"My pleasure."

"Edward! I said it was a _possibility_!" Alice shouted. "I did not mean indefinitely!"

Esme, Carlisle, and Jasper all had their heads turned in the direction of the shout.

"How come you don't know for sure?" Edward growled. "Why can't you see the definite answer?"

"That _dog_ keeps getting in the way!" Alice answered coldly. "It isn't my fault, _Edward_."

Jasper sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'm going to see what I can do about that," he said, excusing himself.

"Sorry about that," Carlisle said. "We haven't spoken to Edward for a while, and Alice hasn't had the chance to speak to Edward privately yet. There was bound to be some fighting."

"Sibling rivalry," I retorted. "I know it well."

Carlisle chuckled. "It's only a problem here when things get...beyond just yelling."

I considered that. I would hate to see a vampire-sibling-rivalry battle close up when it was a really heated argument. Would they stick to tossing plasma TVs at each other or would they run out to a farm and chuck cows at each other? I couldn't imagine Edward and Alice chucking things at each other--whether they be pillows, TV sets, or cows.

Jasper was only gone for a few minutes. Edward came back into the room shaking his head, but Alice didn't follow him out. I was hopeful that this was a good sign. Maybe this meant that she had managed to say everything that needed to be said, and she was allowing him time to think on it. I was going to be optimistic.

"Edward, I hope you haven't been too terrible to Alice," Esme warned, jokingly. She was keeping the mood light--no sense in bringing back the tense atmosphere.

"I listened to her, just as she wanted me to," Edward said. "We're both being very reasonable."

"Good," Carlisle said.

Esme stepped back and they both shot skeptical glances at each other. I smiled. Obviously Edward and Alice were the ones who got on ad terms when serious things came up, but they always solved their problems. They seemed to get along well usually. I liked that. It was nice to see the Cullens in action, as a real family, not just a clan of vampires with similar diets.

"Again, it was good to meet you," Carlisle said, hinting that he was going to take leave.

"And good to see you again," Esme chimed.

I nodded and smiled warmly. "Well met. I hope we talk again."

"We will," Alice piped, dashing into the room. "You can be sure of that!"

Edward rolled his eyes. He was already standing beside me. I was happy to see that he had gotten over whatever had caused him to keep distance from me earlier.

"Goodbye until a later time," Esme concluded. Carlisle and her headed into another room, leaving three of us standing in quiet.

"I'll leave," Alice seethed, turning her chin upward and pouting all the way into the room where Jasper had taken off to. I laughed silently as she left, amused by her air of defiance.

"That Alice had quite a character," I noted. "I like her though; I like them all."

"I'm glad," he said. He sounded distance. Apparently he hadn't gotten over whatever it was yet.

"Is something wrong?" I questioned. "Is it what Alice said? Or something I've done?"

He shook his head. "No, it's nothing," he lied. I could tell that he was lying because of the way he refused to look at me; his eyes were troubled.

He was standing right next to me, but it felt like he was a million miles away; years away, only pretending to be in the moment for my sake. He didn't touch me, and I wondered if he could. There seemed to be a wall in between us, one that he couldn't break through with all his strength. I tried to push it away, but I could only twitch my arms at my sides before they became limp again. I felt that this wasn't the time to reach out to him, not in that way at least. I scanned his expression carefully; he was watching something far away, waiting for it to return to him, but it never would. There was such hope behind the sadness in his eyes; I wanted to tell him that he could trust that hope, that whatever it was he was waiting for would come to him. I found no words though. I kept my mouth shut and traced my eyes over his lips. They were formed into a frown. I brought my eyes up to his again; he was still focused on that far-away thing. I furrowed my brow, and waited in worry.

He looked at me. Just out of the corner of his eyes at first--finally noticing that I was watching him. He took a second to decide if he wanted to face me. He looked away again, and ran his fingers though his bronze hair. He sighed. I waited. He seemed to deliberate between staring at the wall or staring at me--he chose me. He turned his liquid topaz eyes on me, with their dark, brooding intensity. I kept myself steady, and tried to keep my heart beating regularly. It sped a little, but nothing too out of the ordinary. Edward's hard look slowed my heart down as I realized that he was thinking too hard for his thoughts to be light. This was serious.

I waited again. I wanted him to see how patient I was, to see that he could talk to me when he was ready. However he was feeling at that moment was completely up to him; he could share if he wanted to, or he could keep it to himself.

Edward frowned, deeper than before. He was near glaring at me, but I knew it wasn't because of me, it was because of what he was thinking of.

My expression changed, resisting my protests. I wanted to stay calm for him, but my body reacted all on it's own. My furrowed brow pointed upward more, showing my hurt, as if his anger really was directed at me. I knew it wasn't true, but my body didn't seem to know it. I felt my lower lip tremble, seeing how close to glowering he was now. I kept my hands pressed against my sides. I may not be able to control my face, but I was going to control my other body movements.

Edward was so fragile-looking all of a sudden. The near-glare, close-to-glowering expression faltered, and the facade ended--for both of us. Edward turned his body so that we were both facing front toward each other. He stepped closer, so that we were less than an inch apart. I couldn't hold my arms at my sides anymore. My hands reached up, unsteadily, and stopped, shaking just above waist level. I balled my fingers into tight fists, reminding myself that I was trying to give Edward time to think, not distract him because of my human impulses.

Edward took my hands in his. He raised my hands, each in turn, to kiss them. My fingers slid out of his and touched his face. He cupped my chin and bent down to kiss me. He paused though, before his lips could touch mine. I felt the skipped beat of my heart, and I was sure that he could feel that my palms were getting sweaty with nervousness. I yanked them off his face and stepped backward.

He became even more fragile-looking. His expression crumpled, and he kept his hands reached out to me. I blushed hot with embarrassment, casting my eyes to the floor, and clasped my hands together.

Why hadn't I seen it before? I knew exactly what he had been thinking about. He had been thinking about me; about what Alice said. It was all the same thing. It was all yet another tie to Bella Swan. That's why he had paused, because he was seeing Bella in me again; because he had realized that there wasn't enough Bella in me.

I had fooled myself into thinking that Edward loved me enough, maybe as much as he had loved Bella. It was the whole Superman Theory though; I was no Lois Lane, and I could never be. That's why the Cullens found it so hard to adjust to me; I was just a reminder of what they had lost. I was a reminder to Edward every day, and, even if some part of him truly loved me as mush as I loved him, if Bella were to come back, he would drop me so quickly. I would be nothing but a forgotten memory to him; a holding place for his Bella.

I had been a reminder again today. I had mentioned my thoery; he had realized it was true. He had been fooling himself all along as well! We were a perfect couple of fools, each thinking that the other could be the solution needed to mend our broken hearts. Edward was my solution; I wasn't his. I was just a look-a-like who was getting in the way.

Maybe I wasn't as optimistic as I thought I was. I had been trying to trick myself into optimism. I had been smiling, all the while I was waiting for the illusion to pass. It was a permanent illusion though; it would always be there. I loved Edward, and I wanted to believe he loved me. There was no cure to that, especially when he had wanted to believe that he loved me as well. We were thinking the exact same thing, that I was his hope, just as I had promised to be, and he was going to be mine. That didn't work though, because he would always love Bella Swan. He would always love Bella Swan more than me.

And I was too selfish to stand that.

I paused for a few seconds, before stepping quickly toward the door, pulling it open, and then shutting it closed behind me as I raced onward, no idea where I was headed. I kept running, until I was out of the Cullens long, grassy, meadow-like yard, and past there driveway.

"Steph!" Edward called from behind me.

I let out a sob, and tripped in my step. I lost my balance and nearly tumbled to the ground. Edward caught me. I knew it was him, but I didn't look at him; I didn't get the chance to. Edward had backed away again. I didn't run this time though; I stood perfectly stone-like, unmoving, with my back to him. I knew he hadn't left yet, so I waited for one of us to get up the nerve to speak. I was the first to find my voice.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I didn't mean to run off. I was...a little embarrassed."

"You don't have to feel that way around me," he assured me.

"I know that," I said. "I just never realized, how you felt, that I...I was imagining it all."

There was quiet. I waited, knowing that his next words would either confirm or deny all that I had come up with about his brooding silence.

"What did you imagine?" he asked. His voice was rough and strained.

"I imagined that _you loved me_!" I cackled coldly, spinning around with my hands flying through the air angrily. "But how can that be?" I stomped toward him, unafraid of him being a vampire; unafraid that he could snap me in half if he wanted to; unafraid that he could kill me if he got angry enough; totally afraid that he was going to confirm that he didn't love me. "Edward, I've tried so hard to make this work!" I continued roughly. "I've wanted so badly to believe that you could actually love me. Edward, I believed you were completely perfect from the first _second_ that I saw you; I still do now. I still think that you tried to love me, but you couldn't make it work. I want to believe you tried." I stopped and squared myself in front of him. "Please tell me that you tried."

"I tried," he told me.

I felt relief wash over me; I felt the pain of knowing that his tone meant he tried and failed.

"Well, that's all I could ask for, wasn't it?" I asked rhetorically. "I wanted a little taste of something good, and I got it. It's too bad it's a little like drinking ocean water; salt water. One taste, and I am forever thirsty." I, once again, cast my eyes to the ground, clenching my jaw tightly to fight off the shame I now felt. "Edward, I wish you hadn't lead me on. I wish I could have had some warning. Now, I..."

I closed my eyes against the tears. A seven day warning I had had, and it wasn't accurate enough. It was less than seven days. Issie had warned me; I hadn't been able to hold onto him long enough or hard enough. I had tried, but what use was I in the end? Optimism was useless; I was useless. Fate was meant to be fate; there was no changing what was meant to be. I had tried to change fate; I had failed. I was failing miserably. Edward was just too nice of a guy to hurt me. That's why he was struggling. He had been trying to come up with a way to break the news to me lightly, to make it a clean break. I hadn't given him the opportunity. I was such a fool.

"I think I should go now," I said. "I'll just walk home. And if it rains, hopefully I'll drown."

"Don't say that," he begged. "Don't go."

"Fine, I won't drown myself in rain," I told him. "I'm not going to go and off myself. I promised myself that I wouldn't do what Issie did; I promised to fight, for her. So, I'm going to keep fighting. Even if that means I have nothing left." My voice shook with the emotion of hurt inside me. "I wish I could say that you're better off thinking only of her and I'm better off trying to find my own life, but I can't say that and mean it. I'd like to think that you would be better off if I stayed. I'd like to think that you were part of a new life for me."

"Steph, please, let me explain," he pleaded. His hands raised up, but he didn't touch me. "I need you to understand..."

He reached out to touch my cheek, but I flinched away. I stalked off again, getting as far from him as I could. Again, I stopped abruptly, only ten or so feet away.

"I'm beginning to really hate Bella Swan!" I shouted over my shoulder. I saw him turn rigid. "She stole you from me before I was even born. Then, when she _died_, she had to go ruin my life and Issie's life!"

"Bella didn't ruin your lives," Edward growled.

I spun about and took just a few steps closer. "You don't know what Issie and I had to go through," I told him. "Edward, my sister committed suicide because she was so unhappy. It had nothing to do with Forks; it all had to do with Bella's influence." I paused and took a breath, noticing that Edward wore a cold expression. "Issie was just as Bella-cloned as I am. It's all her fault," I accused. "She was clinging so hard that she didn't give any second to consider what she was doing! Edward, is she really is alive somewhere, other than as me, then why wouldn't she come back?"

Edward's rigid form relaxed--or rather, showed all the sadness that he had kept inside for the passed eighteen years.

"I don't know," he answered. "All I know is that I love her, and that she loved me. She would have a right to stay away from me, if she really were alive, because I've done so much to hurt her."

The sun was half out of the sky, it wasn't as bright as it had been hours ago. It was evening time, and the sun would set in another hour or so. The heat remained in the air. I didn't like it. It was too warm when I felt so cold.

"Why can't you see past her?" I asked softly, sadly.

The quiet mixed in with the heat, lingering in the air. The silence echoed until it was too much to bear. My tear-filled eyes watched the treeline beside me, and took in calming breathes, but none of them worked. I shook my head, and shot Edward a look over my shoulder. He caught my eyes and glanced up from the ground, where he had been staring.

"Why can't you see me?" I asked, even softer, sounding desperate and weak--like how I felt.

He deliberated. He paused. He didn't move though, and once again the lack of response echoed in the air. It wasn't until, seconds later, he started walking cautiously toward me that I realized how numb I had become. He was only a few steps away from me, and I hadn't move at all, not even to breathe.

"I can see you, Stephanie," he told me, very softly. "You have no idea how much I can see you. I can see how this hurts you, and I can see why you would want to run from someone as monstrous as me. I can see you when I close my eyes, and I can see you when my eyes are open. There is no longer a single moment where there isn't you."

I caught my breath in my throat; the mood had changed so rapidly, I hadn't even noticed until he was, once again, inches away from me.

"Bella will always be there, be here, with me," he said, answering my un-asked question. "She is irreplaceable. But you, from this moment on, are the one I love, the one I always think of, and the one I want beside me."

I gasped. "What?"

"I do love you," he explained. "That isn't an illusion; it's the truth."

"But, before, what Alice said, and you looked upset...I thought--"

"Alice was arguing over something else entirely," he interrupted. "It was about what's coming up; Issie's warning remember? She still can't see a thing, and I was worried."

"But then why did you hesitate?" I asked. And then, blushing, I muttered: "Before you could kiss me..."

"You're right," he admitted. "I wasn't sure yet."

"Sure about what?"

"I wasn't sure if I could love you when I was so in love with Bella," he explained. "I can, though. I love you, Stephanie Dwyer, and I don't want you to leave me." He closed the small gap between us to prove his point. "I want to rpove to you how I feel. I want you."

"Oh, wow."

He smiled softly, caressing my cheek with his hand. "Please, forgive me for hurting you."

"Of course!" I piped way too quickly.

He chuckled, but it wasn't the light, natural sound I loved. It was too strained.

"I want to take this further with you," he murmured. "But not yet."

Whoa, further? Like what? Getting marri--I was getting ahead of myself. He probably meant pinning me or something. He was old-fashioned, so maybe he wanted to meet my parents.

Oh no--that could never happen. That's too bad. Renee and Phil could never meet my one true, and only love because Renee would recognize him. That sucked.

"In just a few more days, whatever happens happens," he said. "After that...who knows."

"You love me?" I questioned, doubting.

He leaned close and whispered in my ear. "I love you."

I shivered in delight. How could I doubt that? Maybe I had been too quick to jump to conclusions before.

"Steph, after Bella died, I had locked up my heart and thrown away the key," he said, whispering again. "I didn't worry about not being able to find that key before. I didn't care if my heart was locked up forever--even from my family. Because of you, I've found that key again, and I want to love again."

"That's all my fault?"

"Yes, that's all your fault," he grinned. He softly curled his fingers through my hair. "But, please...take back hating Bella," he said.

"Of course," I agreed. "I could never hate her! She has such great taste in men."

He chuckled, sounding a little more natural now.

I did feel the same about Bella; she had ruined Issie's life. But, she hadn't ruined mine. She had brought me into Edward's heart. That I was grateful for. So, overall, we were even. She had been the cause of my sister's death, and she had been the cause of bringing me to my life's only purpose and pleasure. No scores to settle there.

"Edward," I whispered roughly. He met my eyes, seeming to expect a disaster. I was going to give him something close.

"If she came back...you would go to her, and you would leave me," I accused. "Don't deny it."

Edward paused. He closed his eyes, and I waited for him. When he opened his eyes again, he turned their whole force on me. I shrank under the power and intensity of his perfectly smoldering topaz stare.

"I'm going to be honest with you right now," he told me. "That was really what I was debating over. After you told me your Lois Lane versus Lana Lang theory, I believed that I would leave for Bella. I spoke to Alice...and she said that she had a funny feeling about what was going to happen...that it had something to do with your sister's warning, but she didn't know what it was. I was so certain that Bella was my every thing, so why wouldn't I go to her?"

My mouth dropped, and my face crippled in pain. My legs gave out, but he caught me with his arms.

"No, please, listen to me," he said. "I wasn't finished yet."

"Yes you are," I glowered. "You love Bella; you would die for Bella; you would leave me for Bella. I get it. Don't say anymore." I struggled against him, bit he was too strong.

"I love you, Stephanie," he said. I gave up my struggle, sighed, and looked at him. " I will never leave you, not even for Bella Swan," he promised.

I gawked. The world had gone mad! I was hearing things. I had no feeling in my body and Edward now supported all my weight. My heart stopped, and every thing went black.

* * *

I woke up a minute or less later. Edward was calling my name softly. He chuckled when I mumbled something like "Where am I?"

"You're with me, out in the yard still," he answered.

"Wow," I muttered. "That's the first time in my life I fainted. Thanks a lot for the shock you caused me."

"Your welcome." He was completely serious.

Edward had just confessed something deep and personally, and he had relinquished his hold on Bella. And there I was making a joke. The world really had gone mad.

"You really love me that much?" My voice was so quiet, I wasn't sure if he would hear it.

He did.

"I love you more than that," he confirmed.

"And I love you...equal to that," I said. "Normally, I would say 'more than that', but, I don't think I can compare. I don't have much to prove my feelings with."

"You could try," he encouraged.

"How could I try? Trust you? Let you drink my blood? Or something else you have in mind?" I mused.

"No," he scowled. "I don't want to drink your blood. But trust is a good start."

"Okay, so I've started," I said. "Now how do I finish?"

He smiled wickedly, his eyes flashing with all the possibilities.

"I hope I don't regret that questions," I groaned.

"You won't," he assured me. "I promise; I won't let you regret; I'll only let you be happy."

"Alright, I'm good with being happy," I told him.

He kissed me. Why I hadn't gotten used to his lips yet, I wasn't sure. But the way his lips roamed over my lips, face and neck was so delicious and pleasurable. He could kiss me sweetly, but not at that moment. His lips were urgent, swift, and so desirable. When I was catching my breath I could help but moan and gasp a little. He was too much good for someone like me. My face was permanently in blush mode. I wasn't a very experienced kisser (I had only ever kissed him passionately) but I received some satisfaction in knowing that I wasn't all bad when he whispered my name in between out long, lip-locked kisses.

Maybe Edward had meant what he said; he loved me enough to leave Bella behind.

_Yeah_, _right_.

Shut up, Bella. This is my story, I decide who wins.

_Not anymore_.

* * *

**I hope you liked it. Please REVIEW. Thanks.**


	14. Chapter 14: Introduction

**"People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it." - Anthony de Mello**

* * *

"What are you doing now?" Is demanded.

"Trying to get out!" I barked. I banged again on my surrounding sides.

"Give up," she suggested. "It's what I would do."

"Well, you don't have someone to fight for!"

I banged on the surface blocking my escape for the millionth time, ignoring the searing pain in my fingers and wrists. When Is didn't respond, I became very worried. I stopped banging and listened. Had she left me alone?

"I had everyone to fight for," she said in a voice that was barely a whisper. Her throat sounded raw.

"Who did you have to fight for?" I asked, trying to show my concern if my voice. I had nothing against this girl personally; it wasn't her fault I was trapped; she probably couldn't have got me out even if she had wanted to.

"My sister," she answered. "My mother and my father; Renee and Phil."

"How is Renee? And Phil?" I hadn't seen them in...so long. Time must have passed. Had they worried about me? What about Charlie? How was he? Had he eaten anything edible in the time I was gone?

"Last I checked they were fine," she said sharply. "But I've been dead for two years, so it's hard to say."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's not entirely your fault," she sighed. "Only partially. After all, I suppose you didn't purposely stuff your soul in beside mine and try to take over my life. It was an accident right?"

I took a second to consider that. Accidentally ruined someone's life? Yeah. I would never do that on purpose. But I had seen that baby...Had that been Is's older sister? And then, again, a year or so later, it had happened again...Had that been Is? Had her loss of life been my fault?

I hated to think about it, but Is could be right. It had been an accident that I had hurt her. That part was true.

"I didn't mean to hurt anyone," I whispered. I didn't care if she could hear me through the box or not; it was hard enough assuring myself, especially considering that Is had told me that I was dead.

"I only wanted to see Edward again," I continued, still quietly. "I miss him so much...I know he must miss me...he must still love me..."

"I don't see why he would," Is snapped. "He has my sister now. She's wonderful. She's...well, she's a lot like you, Bella. Try to imagine why replacing you with a duplicate who happens to be a little bit nicer wouldn't steal his heart away from you."

"Stop it!" I screamed. "Why are you so mean? I never did anything to--"

"Yes you did!" she shouted. "Because of _you_, Bella, my life was a _waste_! I dreamt about Jacob Black every night when I moved to Forks. I saw him once, the one time I tried to make friends with those losers from Forks High School. We went to the beach, and he just happened to drive by and I happened to look up. I can't tell you how painful it was to see him! I had all these mixed memories--all _your_ memories! How could you do that to me?"

"I'm sorry," I cried. "I didn't mean to do that to you."

"And now you're trying to take my sister's life too!"

"I'm not going to kill her," I argued. "I wouldn't--"

"You will have to kill her if you're going to take Edward back," she warned. "Stephanie won't let him go. She'll fight you for him; she'll fight you for her right to live."

"She can live, I'm not going to take her life away from her. I only want Edward back."

"You're wrong," Is murmured. "Even if you were unwilling to admit that Edward is her life now, you would have to see that what you're about to do would take her life away from her."

"I don't see how getting out of this--this--box will kill her!" I snapped.

"And that's where you're wrong, Bella," Is growled. "To get out of here, you have to take Stephanie's life."

* * *

**Chapter 14: Introduction  
**  
Wednesday morning at five o'clock...

I didn't get a wink of sleep that night, mostly because I had insisted in spending the night away from Edward.

Now, why would I do that? I had some strange surge that morals should be important, and, considering we weren't married, spending every night with Edward would be immoral--even if he was my one-and-only love and he would never do anything immoral to me or with me. Either morals, or I suddenly contracted a vicious brain tumor that damaged my thinking. Those were the only possible explanations. That and I wanted ti get plenty of beauty rest if I was going to face down something disastrous in two days.

That didn't work out though. Being away from Edward was the cause of my sleepless night. Another cause was the radiating heat that came with summer.

Uh, summer. The only good thing about summer was lack of school, and there was no more school left for me anyways. What happened to the rain? Forks was supposed to be rainy! It hadn't rained once since I got back. (Okay, maybe I had been back for less than 24 hours, but Forks was supposed to rain a lot. Why not every day?) Either the rain came back first thing tomorrow or I was moving to a rain forest--and taking Edward with me to fend off the tigers, insects, and other dangerous threats that came with living in the middle of an untouched wilderness.

The blue digits of my alarm clock barely changed from five-oh-one to five-oh-two, and then, the time never changed. I looked back constantly, but nothing ever changed. That was unfair. I wanted sleep! All I got was my brain reminding me that this had been my choice--and I chose wrong. I hated my brain's rude reminder. In between reminders though, my mind wandered to worse things, topics that were unbearable to think of.

Bella Swan was that one particular thought. I had heard her yesterday, only hours ago. It had been her voice. I had never heard it before, not even on the home videos that Renee used to watch when Is and I were children. Renee would always turn the video off when we wandered into the room. I had never heard her voice, but it was her, I knew it instinctively. I wanted to say because she was my enemy, because I knew the one I hated--but that wasn't it.

Why did I know Bella's voice? It wasn't because of how similar it was to mine; it wasn't because of the words she spoke; it wasn't because my mind was able to isolate the one person who stood in my way of loving Edward; it was because I recognized something else familiar in her tone. She was longing; she was hurting; she was in love. That was Bella Swan, in a short, ill-worded summary. She was longing for life, for her Edward; she was in pain of losing all that she had held dear; she was in love, and I could feel that desperation--the same that I felt--whenever Edward was near. She could feel him too, from wherever she was. Her business trip was coming to a close; she wanted to come home.

I rolled over and shoved my tear-stained face into the pillow. I didn't sob; I only cried. I kept my eyes shut tightly and concentrated on not thinking at all. When that didn't work, I spent all my energy on breathing and focused my thoughts on Edward, on all that he had said to me yesterday. He said he had loved me, and that he wouldn't leave me for Bella. I wasn't so much of a fool that I didn't know that he would leave me for Bella before I could even notice she was back. He would leave me for her, but he would apologize again and again, and that would help ease the pain a little.

The pain wouldn't go away though. I knew that. Bringing back Bella's memories proved one thing: being without Edward was as if life was paused, even as the world continued to spin robotically around the sun, and as if being submerged under water colder and harsher than being caged and surrounded by dry ice. It was a cold that burned; it was that hole that tore from the outside in, and the inside out, all at once. I never wanted to experience that first-hand. I wouldn't survive.

So, at all costs, I was going to make sure that Bella didn't come back.

It stung, even to think of that. I was a traitor, both to Edward and myself, and maybe even a little to Renee--and Bella herself. It was a wicked thing to do, but I was selfish. Love made me blind, and it made me hate. All my morals were out the window, while my selfishness was the paper-weight that kept my love pinned down. I wouldn't let that go. If I had another less cold and less hating way to keep love I would use it; I didn't have another way, so I had to use the only wickedness I knew--which was selfishness.

Bella deserved Edward more than I did (and that thought stung as well) because she couldn't be as nearly as selfish as me. I wanted Edward, even at the expense of his happiness. Bella would never do that to him; I could tell that much about her from her memories. Bella wanted Edward's happiness, and that's why she had agreed to marry him. She had agreed to so many things, all for him. She had been selfish too, at times--but not nearly as much as I was about to be. I wished there was a way to bring her back without ruining my own life, but there wasn't, and so, she had to stay away. If she came back, I would merely be Lana Lang pushed aside. Lois Lane would be back, and there would be no need for a filler episode. The plot would be back-on-track; it would be as if nothing had ever went wrong. I would be nothing but a memory.

I had no proof that she was trying to get back and I was already so paranoid! It was impossible to raise from the dead, right? Not even Bella Swan could do that. I had to keep calm--and start by getting some sleep. If I had any brains left I would realize that the only real wickedness about me was that I was picking at someone who had lost their life. Bella Swan was dead; I should just let her memory rest instead of plotting ways to keep her where she was, ten feet under. It was rude and cruel to think of someone the way I was thinking about her. She was gone, so I should respect what she once was, not worry about what she would do to my life.

Bella, to some extent, had influence over my life. But it couldn't be because she was planning on raising from the dead. Renee's science-fiction books were getting in my head; my thoughts weren't coherent enough to separate fact from fiction at five-oh-two in the morning.

I glanced at the alarm clock again, lazily rolling my head over to lay on my cheek.

Oh, goody. Another minute had passed. It was now 5:03 AM. Wasn't I lucky? I got to experience the sun rising?

I smashed my face into the pillow and grumbled quietly over why the minutes passed by so slowly. I heard a light chuckle. I groaned, rolled myself onto my back, and then sat up straight.

"Do you mind?" I mumbled, annoyed and groggy. "I was trying to sleep."

"Sorry," said the velvet-voiced apology. He was a little smug, but he was more awake than I was. I didn't have enough energy to joke around.

"You know, if I ever had a boyfriend that stowed away in my room I would consider them a stalker," I said. "It's a good thing you're not what I would consider boyfriend or stalker."

"I supposed that's a good thing," he agreed.

"I was almost asleep, Edward," I lied. "You should have been a little quieter."

"You've been awake for an hour," he pointed out. "And you've been watching the time very closely. I don't think that sleep was that very close, Stephanie."

"Fine, you're right," I admitted. "But, as of now, it is closer. I declare it so."

"Good luck with that," he encouraged. "But do you want me to go or would you rather I stay?"

"Stay, now that you're here," I ordered, laying back into the mattress, shifting onto my side. "But no more laughter or talking. I need at least another hour of sleep to function properly."

"Alright, I promise not to make a sound," he whispered, now very close to me, possibly right next to my bed. "Sleep well."

"Shut up," I murmured, smiling and holding back a tired laugh. "I like sleep a lot more than most people do, so give me a chance at my third favourite pastime."

"Only your third? What makes the top of your list?" he interrogated.

"Reading is number two," I mumbled into my pillow. "You should have known that."

"I did," he countered. "But I wasn't sure completely sure what your number one pastime was, and that influences where all other pastime rank."

"You're right, now shush," I snapped softly, tiredly and groggily.

"What is your number one?" he asked, in a tone so alluring that all my tiredness nearly flew from me in response.

"You," I answered softly. "Time with you."

It was finally a decent hour in the morning. Seven-seventeen in the morning to be exact. Edward had allowed me to sleep, and his presence had made my dreams very pleasant.

I had dreamt of a few things--a pleasant car ride home, (or rather to Bella's home,) a night spent at the Cullens' house (again as Bella), and a prom night, all involving the precious twilight. The darkness was the common theme in the dreams--that and Edward, who always starred in my dreams. It was a common occurrence, and I had had those dreams many times before. Still, I woke with a smile on my face, and that was all that counted. Being happy, that was important to me. I hadn't been happy before I met Edward, and now, I wanted to remain happy. That was my only dream now.

And that dream had no role for one Lois Lane. I was the only damsel in distress. So, she wasn't going to interrupt my happiness.

"Good morning," Edward said pleasantly.

I shot up straight, smiling wider now, and my eyes found him. I leaped from bed and ran to him, wrapped my arms around him, and didn't bother to apologize for how crazy I was acting. I was drunk on happiness, and I wasn't going to excuse myself for it.

"Good morning to you too," I muttered into his chest. I closed my eyes and listened to his warm chuckle. I breathed in his sweet smell. I forgot the time and stayed where I was for a long time. I didn't move until my arms ached from holding him so tightly.

"Is something wrong?" he asked after my arms slipped from tiredness. He was asking about why I had held him so long, but I pretended that I didn't know that.

"I've pretty much lost feeling in my arms," I sighed. "Otherwise I wouldn't move. But, It's probably a good idea to get dressed, and excetera."

"That is a good idea," he agreed. "But I didn't mean that, Steph. I wanted to know if something else was wrong, other than your apparent loss of feeling in your limbs."

"Only two of them," I countered. "My legs are still awake. Mostly." I looked down at my legs and remembered the slight pins-and-needles feel in my left foot. Why my left? I didn't know. It was just one of those odd things that my body did in the morning.

I glanced up at Edward, who was patiently--well, impatiently--awaiting the answer to his question. "Nothing is wrong," I assured him. "Every thing is just great. That's why I'm acting strangely. I'm drunk on happiness."

"Drunk on happiness?" he repeated, grinning crookedly at me.

"Phil always says that," I explained. "Not that I would ever call him 'Phil' to his face...He probably wouldn't like that. Issie always did that." I smiled at the many memories of her getting punished for calling Renee and Phil by their names instead of Mom and Dad. Issie and I always called them by their first names behind their backs--not to be rude, just out of habit. I picked that habit up from her.

"Should I assume that this kind of drunkeness is a good thing?" he asked mockingly.

"Oh, yes. Is absolutely the only kind of drunk that's good for you," I told him. "Except when you get cocky...Let me know if you see me trying to jump off a ten-story building and think I'm going to live. If that happens, it means I've let it get to my head."

"I'll keep a weather eye open for that," he promised, rolling his eyes.

"Or if I try to walk on a circus high wire or something," I prattled on. "Anything like that would be bad for me. I'm slightly breakable and prone to death under dangerous circumstances."

"I know that." He was serious now, ready to warn me if I continued to joke about the many ways I could die.

"Don't worry, Edward. I have no intention of getting cocky," I said, shooting my hands up, palms forward. "I sincerely swear that I have every intention of keeping myself alive for a very long time. No dangerous circumstances if I can help it."

"Good. Make sure you stick to that promise," he ordered.

"Aye, aye, sir," I mocked, saluting him. "But, for now, excuse me while I get myself ready. It's..." I glanced at the clock, did a double take, and then dropped my jaw. "How is it nine-oh-seven? I checked the clock when I woke up and it was seven o'clock! No wonder my limbs are falling off."

"They're falling off now?"

"Yes," I snapped. "Now excuse me for a few minutes, please. Maybe by the time I come back my limbs will be securely attached again."

* * *

"Jared! You better not being going where I think you're going!" Mom shouted.

I rolled my eyes. Mom was sometimes--to put it lightly--a little psycho. It was during those 'sometimes' that I wondered why Dad had married her.

"I'm not going to Emily's house for her cooking, Mom," I groaned. "I was going to go find Dad. He was being all mopey again. He probably went to see old Billy Black again."

Mom paused and shut her mouth--she had been about to say something, but had decided against it.

"You're right," she agreed. "He was all mopey. You should go visit Billy anyways. We haven't been up there in a while."

"Two years, Mom," I reminded her. "That's a long while."

"Well--Jake--your father--he...he was really close to Billy," Mom stammered, giving me a murderous stare. "It takes a lot to go see him. You shouldn't talk down about him."

"About who?"

"Your father!"

"I wasn't!"

"Oh, yes you were," she scowled. "Now--before I change my mind--get going."

"Thanks, Mom," I grumbled. I shot off toward the front door and ignored her own grumblings.

"Oh! And you better be back for dinner! And you better be on time this time!" she barked. "And if I find out that you went over to Emily's and disturbed her family again I will--"

"Goodbye," I hollered, racing from the front door, happy to know that she couldn't see me roll my eyes again. She hated when I did that.

I was thankful to get out of the house with so few complaints. Why Mom had something against Emily--her own cousin--I would never know. I just had to take it. But that was fine with me. Emily and Sam's kids were all girls, except for their one boy who was only eight at the moment. No offense to little kids, but they could get annoying. I didn't hang around their kids much.

I went there once with Dad, because he had said that Emily's cooking was the greatest ("and don't tell your mother I said that") and Mom never let us forget that we had to sneak around her back to go over for dinner at a friend's house.

If I was lucky, I would get to Billy's grave just as Dad was ready to leave. When I got their too early, Dad would sometimes stare off at some other grave, the one by the apple tree. I knew it was Bella Swan, the police chief's daughter, but I didn't know Dad's relationship with her. Mom always talked about her real quietly, and never mentioned her when Dad was around. Mom complained about Bella all right, just not as much as she did everyone else.

I supposed part of it was respect for the dead, but some of it was something else, like it hurt Dad too much. It didn't make much sense the way Mom sometimes complained about her, considering Dad had only been a kid when Bella was alive. Dad was too young to have had the kind of relationship that would make Mom jealous. Yet, she was jealous.

I would never understand my parents; they were there own set of mythology altogether; completely and utterly impossible to explain rationally.

* * *

I finished drying my hair and shoved into jean shorts and a t-shirt. I knew that Edward was waiting for me, but I felt suddenly too tired to move quickly. I blamed the heat--and the memory.

Looking around at my wardrobe recently reminded me a lot of Is again. It wasn't as if I wanted to forget her, but some days it was hard to remember.

It had been Issie who had the fashion sense. She had taken a quick look around the school and told me exactly what I should wear if I wanted to fit in. She was amazing when it came to that. Neither of is liked malls of brand names, but Is had a knack for it. I couldn't wrap my head around any of it. Is advised me every morning--even though every morning she grew duller and duller, always quieter in the morning. She hadn't wanted to fit in, but she had helped me to just that.

I was wearing the t-shirt she had once told me was the opposite of what I should wear. It was too slack, too weekend-wear-only. I hadn't thanked Issie enough, and I had completely ignored her at school; I had alienated her just as much as the rest of the student body did.

The teachers, too, ignored her. Not in the same cruel way as the students, but more like they forgot she was there. The only attention she got was when she decided against handing an assignment in. Is had always liked grabbing attention in the less conventional way; Forks had made no difference in her attitude.

When Is died, the last two years of my life were spent taking the advise of Catlin's fashion sense. Catlin wasn't nearly as coordinated as Is, but she was the closest thing to a friend I had. Taking her advise was they onyl way to remaind fitting in. I wore what clothes matched our little group, whether I felt like it or not.

A boring t-shirt and jean shorts was not on the 'in' list. I only ever wore what I felt like wearing on weekends, with Issie, and, now, with Edward.

I stepped out of the bathroom, feeling awake again, but weary. Thinking of Is and what my life used to be was wearying. I preferred the present moment--I preferred to think on Edward.

I leaned against the door frame and watched Edward snap his cell phone shut.

"Alice called," he said.

"Ah, I see."

"She wants to speak with me," he explained. "She said it was urgent. We haven't had much time to talk, even over the weekend. I was...avoiding her."

"Why?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"

"She seems to think there is, but she won't tell me," he answered, furrowing his brow in a way that worried me. He was just as confused as I was by the sudden phone call.

"Is that why she called? To talk about whatever's wrong?" I questioned, folding my arms behind my back, keeping my worry at bay.

"I believe so," he sighed. He paused and his eyes scanned over me, trying to take in my expression. "Would you mind if I went to speak with her now?"

"A little, but I'll live." I shrugged. "Alice probably had something important to say so it's better to hear it now."

My eyes scraped through my room, searching for something to do in Edward's absence. I eyes fell on my dresser, where a vase stood. There were two rather dried-out looking tulips. I hadn't been to Issie's grave since I got back.

"Actually," I grinned softly, stepped away from the door frame. "I haven't been to Is's grave yet. I think that's what I need to do today."

Edward's face buckled for a second. I could only guess that he was thinking about the last time he had visited Bella's grave. No doubt he had gone everyday and every night that I was away, but he hadn't been once since I got back--unless he left while I had slept.

"So, please, take as long as you want to with Alice," I insisted. "My day's booked now anyways."

He nodded once, knowing that there was no way around what we had both decided. It was strange, but I felt a sudden wave of distance between us. We had gotten so close, but still, would there ever be a day when Bella didn't come between us?

"I love you," I whispered. I watched his face and then met his gaze.

He stepped forward and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and relaxed to his touch on my arms.

"I love you too," he whispered in return.

"I'll see you later then," I said, smiling. I moved past him toward the dresser and gave my fingers time to find the vase, and then one of the stems inside it.

I lifted the petals to my lips. They were soft still, despite being a little crisp on their edges. I inhaled deeply. The smell was fresh. I sighed and dropped my hands to my sides, the flower remained in my left hand. I turned around to face the doorway. He was already gone.

I didn't wait another second before rushing off. There was no point in lingering in a house that was no longer a home. I had wasted away days in my parent's Forks house when Is had died. It hadn't felt like home since. Forks felt like home, but the house was just a house.

Even now, as I rushed toward the graveyard, each step seeming to linger longer on the ground, I remembered what Is had said about homes. She liked to repeat "home is where the heart is" a lot. She had told me that her heart wasn't in just one place. It wasn't in any place, really. Her home was certain people. I had been one of the people that allowed her heart rest. She had said that sometimes Mom and Dad were her homes as well, when they took time to understand her. She told me that Jacob was her only other home. I hadn't known then about the real Jacob Black. I had scolded her for dragging on the presence of our imaginary friend when we were supposed to be all grown up. I hadn't known when she told me that...that she would be dead a week later...

I took in a deep calming breath as I walked through the front gates of the graveyard, tulip gripped tight in my clenched fingers. I paraded, keeping my head low, all the way to Issie's grave--or, at least, that had been my intention. I came to a quick stop and a sudden drop before I was able to make the turn that lead straight to Bella's and Is's grave. The quick stop was the bang into a body just about my height, and the sudden drop was me falling to the ground.

"Ow, typical me. Clumsy me," I mumbled. "Why is it I bump into people here so literally?"

"I'm so sorry!" said a husky, young voice.

I looked up to see the face of a very apologetic teenager, maybe three years younger than me. His skin was russet coloured, and his hair was black, at a length that reached his neck and flopped around his face. I recognized him immediately from the airport.

"You," I gasped.

"Huh? Oh. Oh! Right," he laughed. "Dad was talking to you and your friend at the airport."

"So I'm not crazy, I have seen you before," I grinned. I shuffled myself upward, and found that the kid offered me his hand. I took it, and he helped me to my feet. "Thanks."

"Sure, sure."

I wasn't sure how to react. 'Sure, sure' had always been Is's thing. I had picked it up from her. Jacob Black had said the same thing as well. So, in a rational explanation, I would have to say that Is somehow picked it up from Jacob Black. The only link there was Bella Swan.

I was probably making too much out of one simple answer. Not every thing in my life had to involve Bella Swan. Coincidences were possible--sometimes.

"Hi," I said, once in an upright position. "I'm Stephanie Dwyer. And you are?"

"I'm Jared Black," he introduced. "Happy to make your acquaintance."

I laughed. "Same here. Too bad I doin't think your Dad felt the same way."

"Oh, right," he mumbled. "He wasn't too pleased to see you and your friend there. How do you know him anyhow?"

"Hm, long story," I said. "I don't know him personally...but, Edward, my...friend...knows him. And, Bella knew him, so...that's how I know him."

I puzzled over my own explanation. Why didn't I leave the Bella bit out? No sane human being could make sense out of what I had just said. I know someone because someone I know knows someone? That didn't make sense.

"Ah, I see," he accepted. He appeared confused, but he was being polite and ignoring my nonsensical answer.

"You don't have to get it. I'm sorry, I'm sure that doesn't make sense," I apologized. "I'm not so good with introductions."

"That's okay, me neither," Jared beamed.

He had a big smile, a nice one too. It made him seem warm, and, also, carefree, like a child. In a way, I supposed he was a child. He had to be sixteen at oldest. His face wasn't that roundness that children usually had, but he was a scrawny kid. He seemed to have gotten even skinnier since the airport--and maybe even gained a bit of muscle. It was shocking. If it wasn't for his eyes, I might not have recognized him. He was almost a completely different person.

"So you're Jacob Black's kid," I said casually. "And...Leah Clearwater--or, I guess she's Leah Black now--she is your mother, right?"

"Yeah. How did you know?" He was smiling, but his eyes showed that he was curious in a wigged-out sort of way.

"I know things," I said with a shrug. "I'm psychic."

"Really?"

I laughed. He was so gullible. "No! It was a joke."

"Oh, right, sorry," he muttered. "I sometimes forget..."

Okay, now _I_ was curious. "Forget what?" I asked.

"Nothing," he lied.

"Nothing? C'mon."

It was strange, but it was hard to feel awkward around him. I was at ease so quickly. His father had been so mad at me, and I had been so mad at him too. His son was the opposite though. Sure, they both had that carefree-easy feel around them, but Jared still had his child-like innocence. That automatically made him less prone to being angry over me being Bella's...Bella's--what would you call me? He reincarnation? Yeah, right. That was a little too out-there.

Well...how far out there was reincarnation from vampires and werewolves?

"Okay. You seem trustworthy enough. Just don't go telling me Dad or he'll think I'm crazy again," Jared warned.

I lifted my hand up, palm forward. "Scout's honor."

He leaned forward, and I forgot for a second that we were standing over Bella Swan's grave.

"My friends and I have this theory that these mythical creatures--called the Cold Ones--are real," he told me, hushed and secretive. "You see, our parents have been acting really weird every since your friend came to town. They say his family is back too--are they?" I nodded. "Right, well, apparently they're the Cold Ones from the legends," he continued. "Now, I may be weird, believing in all that hocus-pocus crap, but when Sam Uley believes in it, you just kinda have to believe it."

"The Cold Ones?" Why did this all sound so familiar?

Oh. That's why. Bella Swan, one day I am going to go crazy from confusing my life with yours.

"Jared, isn't this against the treaty?" I smirked. I bent my head away and pushed past him to lay the tulip--clenched in my hand--on Issie's gravestone.

When I looked back up at him he wore such an expression of shock that I let a giggle slip out before I even had a chance to stifle it.

"How do you know about that?" he wondered. "I thought you didn't know--?"

"Psychic," I reminded him.

"Right."

"But, what does that have to do with the Cold Ones? I mean, psychic? You said you sometimes forgot, right after I said 'psychic'."

"Well, a lot of strange things have been going on lately," he shrugged. "Supernatural sorts. Two of my friends starting acting weird and now they won't come out of their houses. It's real weird stuff. And, according to my parents, one of the--and I'm quoting here--" He shot my a look to warn me that his words weren't going to be pleasant. "That little leech with the psychic eyes might know we're planning to show up," he quoted. Jared even included the air quotations.

Alice was the "little leech with the psychic eyes". That much was obvious. And, she had wanted to speak to Edward ASAP. Maybe she had seen the werewolves coming? Why would they be coming? Were they going after the Cullens for some odd reason?

"Show up? Show up where?" I questioned. I felt my worry engulf every part of me. This felt familiar to me--or maybe to Bella.

"I dunno." Jared was watching me carefully.

I really wanted to grab him and shake the answers out of him--or maybe just beg him. That might be the nicer thing to do.

"I have to go," I choked out.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

I felt dizzy. Jared's parents--who I suddenly knew were both werewolves--were going to 'show up' somewhere and they were hoping that Alice didn't know. That was all wrong.

"I have to go," I repeated. I motioned to move forward, but my feet caught up and I tripped.

"Hey!" Jared reached out and caught me.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked. His tone was thick with worry.

I nodded. I was a little disoriented, but I knew where I needed to go. I needed to get to him, right away.

"Thanks for the chat," I grinned. "Maybe I'll see you around."

"Yeah. Sure, sure," he agreed. He was hesitant to let me go.

"You know, you might want to settle down yourself," I warned. "You're burning up." I touched my hand to his forehead and flinched my fingers away the second I touched his skin. "Wow! Jared, you might want to get home. You have the hottest fever...I don't think I've ever burnt my hand on human skin before."

"You burnt your hand?"

"It was a joke," I explained, laughing a little to lighten the mood.

I remembered to breath, and pushed past Jared, and found that I was reluctant to walk away from his heat. I was so very cold--and I was trembling too--and I would have welcomed the warmth.

What was wrong with me? It wasn't that frightening. Edward and Alice probably already knew. And what could the werewolves do anyways? The Treaty hadn't been broken, right? They wanted to talk to them maybe. That made sense. So...why was I shaking so much? Why did my head feel so heavy?

"Goodbye, Stephanie," Jared called behind me.

"Goodbye, Jared," I shouted in return, trying to sound bright and confident. Unfortunately, I tripped. Now, I had always been a little clumsy, but I had never tripped over my own feet twice in the same hour.

I had managed to catch myself before I hit the ground again, but Jared had run up to me and his expression was beyond worry.

"Do you live far away?"

I was going to the Cullens and that was very far away.

"No," I lied. "I can make it. I'm just a bit klutzy."

"I'll walk you to the gate then," he insisted. "Just to make sure."

"But what about--wasn't there a reason why you're here?" I asked.

"I was finished here anyways," he assured me. "I was just checking something out when you arrived."

"Checking what out?" I pried. "Bella Swan's gravestone?"

"Yeah. Wow, you really are psychic," Jared chuckled. "My Dad always goes there when he comes to visit Grandpa Billy Black. I don't know how my dad knows her, but, somehow, he does. I was figuring out dates in my head. My dad was too young to..." He trailed off, and we walked in silence for a few minutes.

I already knew what he had been about to say. I remembered one of my dreams where I--as Bella--had complained to Jacob about everyone being able to stay young forever while I grew old. Jacob Black and all the other werewolves--how ever many there were--hadn't aged much. Jared obviously didn't know about the reality of supernatural superstitions.

We reached the gate. I sighed when I saw the Volvo there, and Edward coming to meet me.

"Thank God," I muttered. I turned to Jared and grinned widely. "Thanks for your time, Jared. Again, goodbye."

"Uh, right." He backed away, and I could tell that he had been warned to stay clear of vampires--even if not in that precise wording.

"Edward!" I stumbled forward, and found that the earth wasn't facing the right direction suddenly. Why was the pavement vertical? And, worse than that, why did my head feel like it had been whacked really by something really hard? My body ached, I heard Edward's voice, and then my vision started fading to black.

It was then that I remembered what the fever meant. Bella had experienced it in her lifetime, with Jacob. It seemed that once again my life was just a repeat of hers. Then again, the saying was that history tended to repeat itself.

_It was never going to end was it?_

* * *

I gasped and laughed to myself. There was light! I had banged again, thrashed around in my little box and now I had managed to rip it open enough that there was a little light peeking through. I still couldn't see out of it, but now I could at least see around the box. I realized what an odd shape it was--like a coffin. Fresh air swooped inside the box and I laughed, half-crazy with the relief that I was getting somewhere.

I froze then. Had I killed Stephanie Dwyer? Is had warned me that I would if I escaped. I couldn't tell though. Maybe she had been lying...Or maybe it was a figurative death? If it was only a figure of speech then Steph would get over whatever pain I caused her by coming back, and she would live. If I escaped, I would make sure that she lived.

"You can't do that," Is sighed. She was back again. She had disappeared for a while, but she was back again. She sounded tired and weary, and her voice was so strained that I could barely hear her.

"I can't do what?" I asked.

"Make sure that she lives," she explained. "If you escape, she has no life."

"Now, is this figurative or literal?"

She didn't answer. I took that as a good sign.

"Is, I never asked but...why are you here?" I waited for an answer, and was surprised when she spoke, her voice getting weaker and quieter until she faded out.

"I'm here because she won't let me go," she answered. "I don't want to go either. I've already left my influence on her though. She likes the warmth too much...That isn't her...I've changed her by being her. That's why I have to go..."

I waited forever, it seemed, for her to say something more. When she didn't answer, I worried for her.

"When will you go?"

She sighed heavily, and she words were slow when she spoke again. "Soon. As soon as I make sure you don't ruin her life."

"I won't ruin her life," I promised. "I just want Edward back. And I want to see Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie. And, if Jacob is still around and willing to speak to me...him too."

"Don't mention Jacob," she sobbed. Her voice was hoarse now, but louder. "I can't stand it anymore! How come you had every thing!?"

I wasn't sure how to respond. Clearly this girl had been hurt, and I didn't want to hurt her anymore. She was out of line to keep accusing me, but, seeing as she was dead and I was insistent that I was going to be alive very soon, I wanted to let her be. Also, I worried over how weak she sounded.

"You don't have much time leftover, do you?" I whispered. My eyes peered through the crack in the lide of my black box. I saw nothing but bright, yellowihs-white light.

"I have less than two days left," she told me. "If I can keep you here until then Stephanie will be fine; she'll live. If I don't, then you'll live."

"I'm sorry," I said. "But I have every intention of living."

"I know you do."

I could have been mistaken, but her voice sounded warm, protective. I wondered if she really wanted to keep me here. I knew it was for her sister, but, if she had a choice to keep her sister and I apart, would she still keep me here? I doubted it. She probably wanted to keep watch over while I was locked up in a box just about as much as I did. Really, we wanted the same thing. I wanted her sister to live too. But, that didn't mean I would give up my life; I wouldn't give up Edward.

"I don't know if I can hate you anymore, Bella," she told me. "I used to hate you a lot..." Her voice faded, and then came in strong again. "I will always hold you responsible, and I will always blame you."

"I know," I sighed.

"I don't know about hate..."

"Hate is a strong word," I agreed. "I don't hate you, even for keeping me here."

"If you do escape, I'll never forgive you," she warned me.

"If I never escape I might no forgive you," I said coldly.

"Good," she laughed. "Then we have an understanding."

"Two days, you said?" I asked.

"Yes, two days," she snapped. "So?"

I smiled. "In two days...I can see Edward again."

* * *

**So, that's another chapter. Sorry it took so long. I typed up the middle part five times and four of those times it didn't save. That slowed down the process.**

**REVIEW please.**

**(Oh, and to clarify, Stephanie fainted. That's why her head is in pain, she's surrounded by black, and the pavement is vertical.)**

**Watch "Blood and Chocolate" if you haven't already. I just did and it's radical. I might have to read the book now...If anyone _has_ read the book, tell me in a review and express how good or bad it was. Thanks.**


	15. Chapter 15: Imprint!

One more day, I had more more day to spend in the dark and then I could be with Edward again.

It was hard to believe that I only had to waste away twenty-four (approximately twenty-four) more hours. That was easy! I had wasted days in here. Then again, it was easy to waste eighteen years away when you're dead.

Yeah, I had pretty much accepted that fact. I had come to terms with every thing Issie had told me except that I had to take Stephanie Dwyer's life away to be with Edward. That was the onyl unreal fact. I mean, like I had said before, maybe she'd be sad (who wouldn't when Edward so so perfect?) but she'd live. I would make sure she would.

According to Issie, Jacob was alive and well. I wanted to see him too, but that was only after I had seen Edward. Oh, and I would marry him too. Become a vampire too. Live with him forever too.

I wanted to see him so much! How could I wait twenty-four more hours? I wanted to see him _now_!

But I had to wait. I could wait. After all, what was twenty-four hours compared to eighteen years?

"Bella, please don't do this," Issie begged. "You can't take her life from her."

"I won't, I promise," I assured her.

"You can't be in the same body at once!" she exclaimed.

And then it clicked. 'Take her life away' didn't mean her physical life or her body. I hadn't realized it before, but I had died, so my body had been decaying for eighteen years. I couldn't ressurect in my body. I only had hers.

"Where will she end up if I do take her life?" I asked. I couldn't believe I was even considering it, but Edward meant to much to me...

"Where you are now," she answered. "She'll be dead, but not dead. Just like you are now."

"Oh, crap."

* * *

**Chapter 15: Imprint!**

I woke up and was surprised that I wasn't in my room. I was excited at first, recognizing where as was as Edward's room. Then I remembered what had happened. I had fainted. That was embarrasing.

"Good morning," Edward greeted.

I blushed when I found him, after he kissed my forehead. He was standing next to the bed with a unreadable expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

His eyes widened. "What's wrong?" he repeated. "Do I have to remind you that you fainted? That you've been unconcious for nearly twenty-four hours?"

I gawked. "_Twenty-four hours_?"

"It has been twenty-three hours to be more exact."

I gaped. That was a long time to be asleep for.

"Why didn't you bring me to the hospital?"

"Alice insisted that you would be...upset"—his lips twitched into a smile—"if I brought you to the hospital." He paused for a minute, and then his smile turned crooked, and mocking. "Would have have preferred that I had taken you there?"

"No! Oh, no way! For something this silly? No, no, no," I sputtered. I shot my hands up and shook my head furiously. "Alice was absolutely right. I'm awake now and fit as a fiddle."

"I knew you would say that!" Alice chimed.

"And you were right," I complimented. "As always."

She bounced over the the side of my bed (well, Edward's, actually) and pecked my cheek once. I was only a little surprised, and Edward rolled his eyes.

"You're going to faint tongiht as well," Alice said suddenly. Her eyes were wide; she didn't blink.

"What? Again? But I just woke up!"

Alice shook her head. "I don't understand," she muttered in an irritated tone. "I can see it happen—you're going to faint. Nothing happens after that or before that."

"It could be your new friend," Edward said.

"My new friend?" I did not know who he was talking about in the least—oh. Nevermind.

Jared was my 'new friend'. I had seen him once at the airport—for a few brief seconds, a minute at most—and then again today—er, rather _yesterday_. (The whole 'fainting' thing wasn't good for me. Keeping track of time is hard enough when I am awake.) What had we even talked about? Oh, right. I had another flash of knowledge from the memory of Isabella Swan. Strange things, he had said, were happening. The last time 'strange things' happened in Forks was eighteen years ago (more or less). The Cullens, the werewolves, the Volturi, and the end. That would definately be filed under 'strange things'. How far was fate willing to go to allow history to repeat itself?

Jared was turning into a werewolf. I knew that for certain. He had been hot to the touch, and I—meaning Bella—had only experiences that once before, right before Jacob had changed. Maybe Jared was following in his father's—and mother's—footsteps out of coincidence or genetics, not _fate_. I mean, sure, Jacob had once said that the werewolves had only come back because the vampires had, but that meant little to me. Jacob had been jealous of Edward anyway! And, besides that obviously fact, the werewolves hated the Cullens, so they probably spread lies for their own satisfaction.

_That's not true_. _They don't spread rumors or_ lies, _Stephanie_. _Jacob wasn't lying to me then. I don't know if it is true that their change is caused by the presence of vampires, but it is a very odd coincidence. Either way, it's not a lie. It's what they believe._

I was a freaking out a little bit. I had heard Is's voice once before—but I associated that with grief or the fact that we were so close. But Bella? How was it that I could hear _her_? She was dead! It shouldn't be possible (neither should vampires or werewolves, but hey, I was willing to make two exceptions). I shouldn't be hearing Bella talk to me. I shouldn't have fainted. I shouldn't be even thinking about werewolves. I wasn't like Emily, some wolf girl. I was the vampire girl.

I knew my eyes had widened in shock because I heard Edward calling my name. I didn't answer, of course, because I was too far away in my thoughts. I was shocked because I couldn't believe how much control Bella had over me—I had said wolf girl and vampire girl and I didn't even understand what that could possible mean. And Enily...who was...? Sam's girlfriend—or at least that's what she was when Bella had known her. Or maybe his fiance? I wasn't too sure. But, more importantly, I didn't want to care. This was my life, not hers. Whatever she knew about werewolves didn't matter to me. I loved Edward and I wanted to be around his family. That was it. No mangy dogs.

"Steph?" Edward called again. "Please, Steph, what's wrong?"

"Huh?"

"I told you she was fine," Alice snapped. "I would know if she was about to go into shock or go crazy or..."

"I really am fine," I assured him. I turned to see him, smiling (in what I hoped was an assuring way), but his eyes suddenly flickered to Alice. I followed his gaze to see her traditional vision pose.

"She sure is having a lot of visions lately," I muttered to Edward. He nodded sharply once. That worried me a little. But, then again, I had just fainted, I had the rest of the day until some catastrophe occurred, the werewolves were back, and Alice was having a lot of visions. That practically spelled out trouble.

"Actually, that reminds me. The wolves are planning something," I recalled. "I was talking to that Jared kid and tomorrow those many werewolves are going to do something, because the _big bad vampires _are back."

"I should have known," Edward sighed. "Especially after Jacob's display at the airport."

I thought about that, and, yes, it seemed really obvious that Jacob's display of hatred/disgust/sense-of-revenge/sadness were leading to something. Maybe this was it.

"_Bella_," Alice gasped.

Edward and I snapped our heads to face her—although he moved incredibly faster than I did. Alice cast her eyes down to the floor, and I could have sworn she looked embarrassed.

I know I shouldn't have, but I did. It was kind if like when you watch one of those gruesome horror flicks where people get killed in the most unexpected ways. You know you're going to be frwaked out, but you go because you have to know if it's going to be what you expected. You cover you eyes, but you still peek through your fingers. You know with one hundred percent certainty that once that girl goes in the basement she's dead, but you wonder if it's possible for her to somehow escape. Well, I ran straight into that basement, expecting disaters but hoping secretly that I was wrong. But, unforunately, my metaphor was right.

I looked at Edward and that strange, glowing hope in his eyes crushed me. My lungs forgot how to move. My heart caved in on itself, threatening to literally break in two. My limbs went numb. My entire body was nothing but an empty shell. I was just floating above the scene as if I was merely watching a very goos soap opera and the long awaited return of the hottie's girlfriend was finally happening. And, oddly, I found that I had been hoping she would come back all along.

I could lie to myself and say that I hated Bella all I wanted to, but, in the end, that wasn't true. The only person I hated was myself, because I wasn't good enough for Edward. I hated that Edward deserved Bella—I was the winning prize, Bella was. And who wouldn't prefer first prize over second prize? Even I would have to admit that I would give up some silver for some gold. Sure, silver was pretty and seemed more noble, but gold was, well, gold. Edward deserved the best. And I wasn't it.

"What did you see, Alice?" My voice was so quiet and calm, which, surpised me, because that wasn't how I felt.

"I saw..," She shut her mouth tightly and looked from Edward to me, and then back to Edward. She stared at him, directly in the eye, and I could clearly see what was going on. She was letting him know; she was letting him read her mind. She didn't want to share with me, and I completely understood that. It was none of my business whether Bella was coming back or staying dead.

Edward stood suddenly, and I felt the pressure fall off the bed. I wanted to cry. I didn't though. I remained as nonchalant as I could manage. I pretended not to notice when Edward's eyes were watching me again; I pretended that I didn't already know that he wasn't seeing me. His eyes were only for—and always had been for—Bella.

"I'm not sure what I saw," Alice told me. She faked cheery very well. If I hadn't already known what was going to happen, I might have believed her.

"Could you describe it?" I didn't think she would answer me, but, if she did, it would be nice to start planning how to react when Bella pranced through the door and ruined what little happiness I had.

"Um, like I said before, you faint."

"Oh? Is that it?"

"Uh, not much else," she mumbled. I could hear the guilt in her voice, even thought she tried to hide it. She didn't like not being honest, even if it was me. She probably felt guilty that I had nothing left once I was thoroughly pushed aisde.

"I see."

I closed my eyes, and made my decision. I wasn't going to try and get Edward back. Not now and not when she came back. What I was going to do...I couldn't plan that far ahead. I would make things up as I go. Maybe going to college would be a good idea. I had ended the year off with good grades. If I worked for a year I could save up some money—or maybe I would travel. Anything would be better than thinking about all I had lost. I could move back to Jacksonville, to be close to my parents. They would like that. And being away from Forks might be best for everyone, even though it was the only place that felt like home to me. I would leave my home if it would give Edward happiness though. And it would, so...I had to do what was best for Edward.

It hurt. It hurt a lot. I couldn't cry in front of him, he would want to know why. I couldn't tell him why. I couldn't explain to him that I was so selfish that I was close to ruining what would make him happy just so that I could be near him. No, I couldn't hurt him. He needed Bella. He didn't need me. Bella was coming back, once and for all. I couldn't change that.

"I have to go," I announced. I slipped out of Edward's bed and fast-walked to the door.

"Where?" asked Alice.

"Why?" asked Edward.

"Please," I begged, standing hunched over the doorframe with my hand on the door handle. "Let me be alone."

Edward was beside me, and I felt him there. I didn't look to confirm what I already knew. I felt his hand on my shoulder and his hand on my cheek. I kept my back to him, although I wanted to badly to fling around and kiss him until he had stolen my every breath. If I died, it would make more room for Bella when she came.

"You want to be alone?"

I nodded my head slowly, in a robot motion. I wasn't in control of myself. I was letting my conscience control me. If I was in control of me, I'd have already gone through with the dead-in-Edward's-arms plan.

"Alice, do you know the specific time that Be—" He paused, and I heard him take a steadying breath. "Do you know when?"

"After midnight."

"Come back her at midnight, please," he whispered into my hair. "And be safe."

I wanted to say "Be safe for Bella sake?" but I didn't. I wasn't cruel. I had never been particularily good at cruel. I was good at hurt; I had learned to deal with hurt when Is died. Cruelty hadn't quite developed in me.

"I will," I promised. "Midnight."

Midnight for Bella Swan. I hated to think that he wanted me back there just to see Bella return, because he had to know that that would hurt me. No, I really was going to faint again and he wanted to make sure I was safe. Then, he would break the news—the news I already knew—to me gently. He would allow me to leave with grace and dignity before Bella arrived. I would leave, she would come. Happily ever after to Prince Charming and his perfect princess. I would go back to being a frog, or else find a new ending. It wouldn't be the happily ever after that I wanted, but that didn't mean the void of happiness.

Maybe this was a good thing for me. It was foolish for me to think that Edward had ever truly wanted _me_. He had always wanted Bella, and the part of me that was Bella.

I stalked from the doorway of Edward's room, went down the hall, then down the stairs. I didn't hesitate at the doorway, even though I left a bit of myself there. I left my hope there, along with any anticipation for what could happen if I tried to fight to keep Edward. I wasn't sure where I was going, but it was clear when my feet quickened their pace and started running. Now, why I was going there, I didn't know. Maybe I was looking for strength from Issie or maybe I wanted to lay down in the earth beside her and let all my reluctance and hurt fade away as my breathing slowed to a stop. Maybe I was just lost, and that was a familar place, someplace I knew, someplace where getting lost was very easy to do, but it didn't hurt as much.

So, I went to the Forks Cemetery and bounded right into Jared Black again. Which was not my original intention, but, as we both fell to the ground with a soft thud, I figured that it was better than being alone. I didn't know why he was here again, and I didn't care. For some reason, it just made sense to see him here.

What didn't make sense was that I started yelling at him.

* * *

I had been dealing with a lot lately—lately being last night when I did some freaky transformation thing and became what could only be classified as a 'werewolf'—and I really didn't need to be yelled at. I hadn't expected to see—what was her name again?—Stephanie here again. Hell, I wasn't expecting to see her again ever. (But I had hoped. She seemed kind of nice and hadn't called me crazy when I mentioned my 'strange things' theories.) I had to admit though, she looked pretty hot when she was angry.

"Why is it I have to run into you here?" she shouted. "I can't have a bit of peace and alone time? Is this going to become a bad habit of yours? Getting in my way? I don't want to bound into you everyday."

"You plan on coming here everday?" I asked. I was trying to keep calm. From what little explanation I had allowed my parents to give, getting angry was a bad thing.

"No," she growled. "I plan on...why should I tell you? Does it matter?"

"No," I muttered—successfully holding back the furious anger that threatened to explode out of me. "Not if you're going to be all touchy about it."

"_I am not being touchy_," she spat.

I stood up and waited for her to do the same. I was managing very well—seeing as I hadn't killed her yet or changed in front of her and freaked her out. I then noticed that she wasn't moving. She seemed to not want to get up. She had seated herself in a rather perminant position—hands crossed over her chest, legs crossed, and firm pout on her face. She wasn't going to move on her own. I offered her my hand.

She stared at my hand for a while. She didn't seem to understand what to do with it. She had understood perfectly the last time she had knocked over running into me. Her pout faded and was replaced with a look of surprise.

"Why?" she asked quietly. Her voice was soft, and I really wanted to be able to make her understand.

"Because it's a nice thing to do," I answered.

It was strange, just a second ago she had been yelling at me and I was close to losing it, but now I was completely calm. I had run off to clear my head, trying to keep calm—keep human—because something about Billy Black's grave had always put me at ease. I hadn't known him—unless I felt like counting knowing him when I was two years old—but, from the way Dad had described him, he seemed like the kind of guy who would understand. Every so often I would come down and talk to him—weird, yes. But that was me. Talking to a grave stone was just the way I was. And it worked for me. I had just been about to take a walk to the old apple tree when Stephanie crashed into me. I was still a little irritated then, but I was completely (and eerily) calm.

Stephanie reached her hand out to take mine. I helped her up, and was surprised at how delicate she seemed. I had to remember that—because of what I was now—I had to be more careful around regular humans.

Once she was on her feet, I noticed that her usually pale face was glowing red under the surface. She had such a pretty sort of blush. It was odd to see. Normally, when you see someone blushing, you wonder why. Me, I wasn't normal anymore, so I assumed the reason. I didn't ask; I knew it was because she felt embarrassed that she had taken my hand when, really, she could have helped herself up.

"Why are you here?" Her voice was lighter than before, and she kept her eyes down, although the blush didn't fade—which, I had to admit, I kind of liked. She looked really pretty when she was blushing.

"I have reasons," I dodged. "Why are you here?"

She sighed heavily, and her breath seemed to be taking a long time to exit out of her lungs. She seemed really stressed. Almost as stressed as me, and my whole life had just changed.

"You can tell me," I promised her. "If it's some big secret I swear I won't tell anyone. I can't really give you proof right now, but I promise that I am very trustworthy."

I saw a small smile twitch at her lips, but she resolved herself to grimace.

"You'd think I was crazy if I told you. It's stranger than what you talked about last time we bumped into each other."

I laughed. I mean, really, the angry girl just told the werewolf that her story was the crazy one. I think _I_ had the crazier story.

"It's not a funny story," she said coldly.

"I'm sorry. You're right. That was mean."

"It was," she agreed. Something changed in her expression, and she smiled apologetically at me. "But I guess I was mean to you just now, so, should we call it even?"

"Sure, sure." I stretched out my open hand to her and grinned. "We can even shake on it."

She laughed. It was a pretty laugh. Something about it made me smile more; something about _her_ made me smile.

"Deal," she said, grinning as wide as me now. She took my hand and shook it.

I knew my temperature was naturally very high, but I felt suddenly hotter at her touch. I ignored it though; maybe I was still changing on the inside and my body was making adjustments to my internal heater.

"You know, you're really hot," Stephanie said suddenly.

There were probably a million witty ways to handle a comment like that, but, being me, I just stared at her—wide-eyed, red-faced, stomach churning—and said "What?"

"Oh, wait, that's not what I meant—well, you are—but not that I think that—I meant your temperature," she sputtered as her face began to turn red again. "I'm sorry, my brain isn't connected to my mouth—not that I think you're ugly, you're not. I'm sure someone out there thinks you are very hot, but not me. I'm sorry, that sounded wrong. It's just that I already have a...someone...otherwise I would totally..."—her eyes unwidened and she sighed, giving up on trying to make sense—"You're taller today. And...that's quite a drastic change there..."

Okay, now she was hitting the bull's eye. Something about becoming a werewolf made you get bigger, taller, and stronger. Over the past month I had been changing, but I hadn't realized what it meant. In the last week the changes had become increasingly drastic. I wasn't taller than her yesterday, but I was now. I had probably looked like a skinny moronic kid yesterday; today, when I had last seen a mirror, and after my change, I was more like a football jock. (Muscles...finally...and I had probably aged a bit. It had looked that way last night anway.) But I couldn't let her know that. She was trying to make up for her weird explanation of why I was hot but not hot, but I couldn't let her. I had to keep my strange change a secret.

"I'm sure you're seeing things," I said.

She opened her mouth to protest, and I prepared myself for the burst of anger I could already feel welling up inside me. Her face turned scarlet with anger and shame at my dismissive comment. Then, she stopped. She paled, looking more than embarrassed now.

"Oh!" she gasped. Her eyes widened. She stepped backward. She wasn't terrified, but she had the sort of look I would imagine someone would have if they stumbles into my house after my parents had a fight and didn't quite get to their bedroom yet. That sort of embarrassed I-didn't-realize expression.

I waited for her to explain her sudden outburst—and her weird expression—and kept myself calm. She may be a good incentive to keep calm—and not turn into a werewolf and accidentally hurt her—but that didn't mean it wasn't hard. I had changed last night, and I had been in my strange wolf-form for over twenty hours. I had only escaped an hour ago, after Mom and Dad tried to explain what had just happened to me. I wasn't used to keeping myself to calm. I wasn't an angry person, but something about the change made me angrier.

"I'll see you around," Stephanie mumbled, and then walked around me. I was stumped, standing there, and she was already ten feet away.

I didn't want to, but I felt a pull, something telling me that I had to speak to her some more. Maybe it was the weird feeling that told me she knew something. Yeah, that had to be it.

But what if it wasn't? She already had a boyfriend, and I was a werewolf. There was no point in—oh, shit.

I hadn't realized it, because I hadn't paid much attention to anything Ma and Pa Black were saying. But, somethings had registered—the anger thing, the full-moon-is-a-myth thing, and imprinting. That last one was came to me. The last one seemed to now apply to me. Had I really just imprinted on Stephanie Dwyer?

"Wait," I groaned. "Please wait."

"No," she said in a low, tired voice. "I don't need anymore issues today."

Okay, that made me a little angry. I had the right to not want anymore issues—like imprinting—but she had nothing to complain about. What the worst thing that could happen to her? Did her boyfriend break up with her?

I felt ashamed that I was acting so cold—even though it was only in my head. Whatever she was feeling deserved just as much attention as my issues. Whatever she was feeling was important to her. That gave it just as much value as my problems. My problems were different than hers, but that didn't mean they had more value. She seemed like she was hurting, and I didn't want her to hurt.

"You can tell me, you know," I said. I had caught up with her with only a few strides (and I ignored the shocked expression she wore when she saw how quickly I had reached her).

"Tell you what?" she snapped. I could see in her eyes that she felt differently; she wanted to talk to someone, even if that someone was me.

"You said you have issues today, sometimes talking about it helps," I suggested with a shrug. "I know you don't really know me, but that should make things easier, shouldn't it? For all I know I could never see you again. I can't tell your friends if you were abducted my aliens, and I can't tell your boyfriend that you don't like his music, and I can't tell your parents that you've been sneaking out at night. You can tell me anything and every thing and there's nothing I can do about it. Except listen."

"None of those things are true," she said, with a touch of humor in her tone. "First of all, it wasn't aliens, it was a competely different kind of being. Second, I love his music, although I'm sure he's not my boyfriend...at least not anymore..." Her voice drifted and that humor in her tone was lost.

"So you've been sneaking out at night?" I asked, trying to bring a smile on her face. Her smile was beautiful; I had to keep it there.

She laughed. It wasn't a real laugh, it was a tired laugh. "No. My parents are in Jacksonville anywas—og, that's in Florida, by the way."

"Wow, Florida, long ways," I whistled. "Is that one of your issues?"

"No. Why would it—"

She was quiet for a while. I turned my head to see if I could tell what she was thinking from her expression. She was puzzling over her answer. It seemed like she hadn't really thought about it before.

"I guess it is," she admitted. "I didn't think about that though. I was the one who said I wanted to stay out here. My dad got into an accident, and mom went out to see him. I went once—which was why I was at the airport, remember?" I nodded and shot her a duh-of-course-I-remember grin. "Well, that's when I came back. I don't think Renee—my mom—is coming back to Forks. She's lost two too many people here."

"Bella Swan," I recalled. "My parents knew her, somehow."

She nodded sharply, and I could see tears well up in her eyes.

"She lost someone else too?"

"Yes, my sister," she answered solemnly.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head and smiled. "It's been two years. I should be over it by now."

"Should be?"

"I should be, but I'm not," she expanded. "I guess I'm weird that way."

"I don't think you _should_ get over it, I think it should get easier though," I corrected. "At least that's what they say in the movies. I only knew Grandpa Billy Black when I was two, and my brother was stillborn, so I didn't know him at all."

I heard her stifle a gasp, and her wide eyes fell to the ground, watching the ground that we walked over. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "That's so...horrible."

"I don't remember what happened, only that Mom and Dad were real depressed," I said. I didn't talk about my personal life to strangers, but, even though I had met her two times before, she wasn't a stranger to me. "Mom wouldn't look at me for a week."

"How old were you?"

"Four."

"I'm sorry."

"Loss is part of life, right?" I said. The mood had darkened, and I didn't want to ruin the light mood we had almost had. Neither of us really needed more issues.

"I guess," she agreed hesitantly. "It's not a part I like though."

"Who said you had to like it?" I joked.

Her eyes remained on the ground and I wondered if I had taken it too far, trying to sound all wise and smart when I was really just a dumb sixteen-year-old kid.

"So, you don't sneak out at night, but you have other issues," I clarified. "And you come here because you want to make sure your sister knows you think of her, right?" She nodded. "But that's not the only issue." She nodded her head after only a second hesitation. "Will you tell me what those problems are now?"

"No," she mumbled. "It's too crazy."

"I've had a lot of crazy lately, I can handle a little more," I assured her. "Trust me."

She sighed heavily, again taking forever to lose all her lung's air supply. She snapped her eyes up and stopped. It took only a minute more, but, after stopping myself, she finally looked at me. Her brown eyes were soft, and I was sure that she was going to tell me every thing.

I was wrong though.

"Why do you care?" she questioned. "Is what you're going through bad enough that you would rather listen to me whine?"

"I'm not going through anything that bad," I lied.

She rolled her eyes and laughed at me. It wasn't her nice laugh; this was slightly mocking. "Nothing bad? Kid, Jacob—your _father_—had a hard time with it too. I don't think it's that easy. Especially since the change is so fresh..."

My body trembled with anger. _How the hell did she know_? That shouldn't have made me so angry, but her mocking, it stung to hear it.

Her eyes widened and she looked terrified. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to...just calm down, please. I promised I would come back at midnight. If I'm in the hospital...that won't help me keep my promise..."

I felt the colour drain from my face. She definately knew. And she was afraid that I would hurt her.

"I would never hurt you," I promised.

Her eyes relaxed, but her body was still tense. My body had stopped shaking. I was a little afraid of why she was afraid of me. What sort of other issues was she not telling me about? She did seem to know...so...how did she know?

"But can you control it?" she asked, quiet still.

I nodded my head. She relaxed fully now. "But how do you know?" I asked.

"How do I know you're a werewolf?" she cackled. I waited; she stopped laughing and put on a solemn face. "It's difficult."

"I promised I would listen," I reminded her.

"You did," she recalled. She paused and debated silently. She closed her eyes. "Alright, but I need to sit down, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed. I was both excited and nervous. Excited because she was going to trust me, nervous because she somehow knew, and that couldn't be a good thing.

I gestured to the bench under the apple tree. Her eyes darted to Isabella Swan's grave, but she strutted forward in an obviously fake attempt at nonchalance. I had a feeling that Bella fit into this story somehow.

She sat on the bench and bit her lip. She had a strange look in here eye—like she was trying to solve a difficult math problem. Eventually her eyes shot upward and found one of the apples on a long, extended branch.

"Do you know why this apple tree was planted here?" she asked.

I nodded. "I do."

She patted beside her on the bench and smiled invitingly at me. I took the invitation eagerly.

"I remember when Is told it to me," she smiled. It was a sad smile, but a real smile. "Isabella Dywer, that was my sister. I called her Issie or Is mostly. Dad called her Is and I used it sometimes because it annoyed her. We didn't use her full name because it reminded us too much of Bella Swan. We didn't like being constantly compared to her." She paused. A gentle breeze prickled my skin and Stephanie shivered beside me. I forgot that cold didn't affect me as much anymore. The breeze was probably cold where as I only felt cool.

"How much of the story have you heard?"

"The end," I answered. "And a short summary of the beginning."

"Well, then I'll do the opposite," she grinned.

"The beginning and a short summary of the end?" I clarified.

"Exactly." She drew in a steady breath and her smile steadied. The wind blew her hair slighty, and it was then that I noticed her soft but sweet smell.

"There was a man and a woman here in Forks in the fifties," she began. "They fell in love despite being told never to see each other, sort of like Romeo and Juliet. Which, ironically, I hear that the woman's name was Juliet. It was a non-traditional couple. She was black and he was white. They didn't care about that, of course. And they didn't care that he had lots of money and she had nothing. They met at some diner and Juliet ordered apple pie everyday. The man offered to pay every day and she refused for years. One day, she said yes. They fell in love and they got married. No one really liked that, and there was a small gang in Forks at that time, against anyone who didn't follow the traditions."

"It's not hard to tell where the story is going," I sighed. "Even if I didn't already know the ending."

"Juliet was murdered," Stephanie confirmed. "The man had this apple tree planted on one of his lots and buried her right behind it. Apparently it was her dying wish."

"She must have really liked apples," I jested.

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "I guess so."

I jumped up ans strolled around the tree. Sure enough, there was an old, weather-worn gravestone, and just under the words "Beloved sister, daughter, and wife," was a juicy, red apple. It was perfectly placed, as if someone had purposely placed it there. But the apple had just fallen. I knew from another telling of the story that the man had died later, after, regretfully, seeling his lots to the Forks Cemetery. (The conditions were settled before his death, thankfully, so whatever it was he wanted he got.)

"His is next to hers," Steph shouted from the other side of the wide apple tree.

"I see that now."

His was right next to hers, alright. It was nice to see. They were close in life and death. A somewhat happy ending despite the mess of things that had happened after their marriage.

I came around the tree and sat down beside Stephanie again. She had her solemn facial expression on again, and she was watching the grass shift in the wind at her feet. I waited for her to move.

When she did, her eyes caught mine and we stared at each other for a while. She was still solemn, but I was finding it hard to sit still when my stomach was churning and my body temperature was increasing steadily.

"I know you're a werewolf, Jared," she told me.

I wasn't angry; I was afraid. I furrowed my brow and tried to interpret the hidden meaning in her words. Was she saying that she accepted that? Or was she saying that as I warning? From what Mom and Dad had said, her boyfriend was a Cold One, aka vampire, a werewolf's only enemy.

"And?" I promted.

"And I don't have the highest regard for werewolves," she continued. "I happen to be very much in love with a vampire, although he doesn't feel the same way about me."

Her last sentence was so sad sounding that, even though I had been about to get really angry at her—because of her not-so-high-regard of werewolves and oh-so-high-regard of vampires—I felt a whirl of compassion and pity inside me.

"That doesn't mean I feel the same way about you," she assured me. "You seem nice, really. I just find it hard to think that...well, as I said, I'm in love with a vampire, which makes it hard to feel anything good for a group of his sworn enemies."

"I see your point," I admitted, not liking what she was saying at all. "But you said you feel different about me. I can work with that."

"So can I," she laughed. Her wide smile faltered and she sighed. "I haven't had a real friend since Issie died." She paused, and then looked up at me. "Would you mind if I considered you my friend?"

I shook my head and raised my hainds up. "Please, consider me your friend. Consider me whatever you want—just not your enemy."

She grinned and stifled a laugh. "Okay. Thanks."

"My pleasure."

"Then, seeing as I know your secret," she whispered in a very seductive, playful tone. "I can tell you _mine_."

She probably wasn't trying to be seductive, but she was. She had leaned in and her brown-blonde hair fell over her shoulder and her big, brown eyes were staring intently at me. So sue me for taking that as wanting me to scoot forward a little (which I did do).

"Jared Black, this is going to be the longest most peculiar story you've ever heard," she warned me.

"Stephanie, I told you I would listen, long or peculiar or whatever. I'm here," I reminded her.

"That you are," she agreed. Her bright, playful, mock-warning smile faded into a more solemn smile. "I don't know where to start."

"The beginning, maybe?" I suggested.

"The beginning," she mused. "Ah, alright then. I guess this all started eighteen years ago, with a girl named Bella Swan..."

* * *

**Chapter 15! How was that? (And yes I am favouring Jared right now. It's hard not to like werewolves a little after watching _Blood and Chocolate_! I am _so_ loving that movie.)**

REVIEW! And, just a head's up, I'm thinking that there might be five chapters left. More or less.

Long break between chapters, I know. I'm sorry. I'm a busy, busy bee. I might have to stick with weekly updates instead of scrambling for daily or every-other-day and never making it. Just another head's up!

Again, as stated above, REVIEW!


	16. Chapter 16: The Return of Lois Lane

**"This is why you shouldn't fall in love, it blinds you. Love is wicked distraction." - Wicked, by Gregory Maguire**

* * *

**Chapter 16: The Return of Lois Lane**

I was surprised that he was taking it so well. I mean, if I had heard my story — from the very beginning (what I knew of Bella) to the end (how I was pretty sure that she was coming back tomorrow) — I might call myself a lunatic. Yet, he was very focused, staring straight ahead, eyes on Bella's grave. I watched as his steady expression — which had been a constant, concentrated look since I mentioned Bella's name — slowly change, but his gaze did not waver. He looked a little angry, and his hands shook, and so did the rest of him. He shook his head and a shiver ran down his spine, and, then, the angry shaking stopped.

His eyes wavered then. He looked at me with a sad, longing expression.

"You're planning to leave," he said. I nodded my head, and doing so caused a wave of guilt to run through me.

He seemed sad to see me leave, even though we had met so few times, even though I had only just a couple hours ago called him my friend. For some reason, some higher power or fate had decided that I would meet my one true friend in Forks the day before I left. That wasn't fair. I wanted to stay now! I wanted to stay and be with Edward and his family, and become better friends with Jared — someone I felt I could trust, someone who knew the whole truth of my life, more than even my parents did — leaving was torture now. How could I leave? I had so many people in my life, in Forks, that I didn't want to leave behind.

Back and forth; forward and reverse; decision to decision. I couldn't seem to make up my mind. I was pathetic, really. What kind of girl goes through the decision making process like I did? I burst open when people don't expect me to (like with Edward, even his family...and now, Jared) and it can't be easy for them. I must have ruined Edward's life when I showed up telling him all I knew about Bella, confusing my thoughts and memories with hers. (Although it didn't seem like he had much of a life to begin with, and I had only wanted to bring him a little spark of hope then.) My decisions were always changed, so abruptly — living in Forks did that too me — but my decisions were effecting people, and not in good ways either.

I had fallen for Edward Cullen and tried to make him love me in return. I was an idiot. The only person — dead or alive — in this entire existence that was made perfectly for Edward was Bella Cullen. I had tried to ignore that fact — I had ignored it to the point where I almost believed it; I almost believed that, maybe, there was someone for me, and that someone could be Edward. I knew that when Edward looked at me, he was seeing the similarities between Bella and I. I pretended that he was growing to love the differences too. He wasn't though. Maybe, if I was lucky, he had grown to be friends with those differences; maybe he could be friends, at least, with the real Stephanie Dwyer. It was a nice thought, but it wouldn't work. It would be too hard knowing and seeing him in love with only Bella, and barely glancing at me. It would be much better if I left.

"Yes, I'm leaving," I confirmed. "I wish I didn't have to...but I do."

"Because of that leech?" Jared sneered.

I glowered at him silently for a minute before speaking. He didn't seem remorseful.

"Don't call him that," I warned. "He's wonderful; not a leech. How would you like it if I started calling you 'dog' or something?"

"You can call me whatever you want to," he said quietly. "I don't mind."

I sighed heavily. There was no getting through to him.

"But you still haven't answered my question."

I snapped my head up. Jared was looking at me, expecting an answer. I hadn't forgotten the question, but I wasn't sure I wanted to answer. I don't know why I had come to trust this guy so quickly, but he seemed so trustworthy. Even though he was a little pigheaded about the whole leech-vs-good-guy thing — ever since I mentioned my Bella-is-coming-back-and-Edward-is-going-to-leave-me-for-her plan, Jared started referring to Edward as a 'leech' — I felt that he honestly wanted to understand me, to help me. That was really sweet, especially since he had just become a werewolf last night and had his own problems.

"You're leaving because of him?" Jared repeated.

"Yes, of course I am," I snapped. I closed my eyes, cooling myself down before I snapped again at one Jared Black, nice guy. "He deserves some happiness. He's been through a lot. Can you imagine what it would be like if your true love died?" I paused, but Jared didn't answer (maybe he thought it was rhetorical). "Can you imagine what it would be like if someone who looks like her bumps into you and somehow has her memories? If that person tried their hardest to...get close to you? You wouldn't know what to do. It would probably hurt a lot."

There was no wind, only quiet. I could hear Jared breathing beside me, and I noticed how close we were. Not only did my mind feel like I could trust him, but my body didn't automatically shy away from him. It was a good sign — but also a very bad sign. I didn't want to make true friends in Forks now, not when I was about to leave.

"You shouldn't have to leave," Jared said. "There's no reason why you can't stay."

"I already told you, I'm leaving because of Edw—"

"That's not a good enough reason," Jared growled, leaning closer to me, his eyes dark and worried. "I know there's another reason. I'm not stupid. I'm sure you want him to be happy and whatever else, but you have to have a better reason than that, Steph."

I gulped. He could look pretty scary when he was angry — yet, I wasn't scared. I felt guilty, as if I hadn't told him the whole truth. I had though; I wasn't keeping any secrets from Jared.

Or maybe I was. Hadn't the main reason just a second ago been not that Edward wouldn't be happy but that I wouldn't be? I was leaving because I couldn't stand living in the place I called my home when I knew perfectly well that Bella was going to come home.

This was Bella's home. I was wrong about thinking this was my home. That was probably just some part of her lingering in me. I had no home. I had no personality, no soul. I was some pathetic echo of Bella Swan. It was best if I lived with Renee and Phil, my parents. Phil wasn't Bella's father; he was mine. Renee may have been Bella's mother too, but she loved me. Until I found a real life, they could be my home. I couldn't stay in Forks. It had caused every thing.

I hated Forks! How could one small town ruin my life so much? Is had died here. And, in a way, I was going to die here to. Whatever part of me that was Bella I was going to leave behind here. I had to forget Edward, forget Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle, and anything that felt like home in this little horror-ville. Once I left, I could be Stephanie Dwyer. Once I left every thing and everyone behind — left behind my home — that would be possible.

I didn't know who she would be, Stephanie Dwyer, but I wanted to meet her. I wanted to meet the girl who didn't need Edward's presence to be able to breathe. I wanted to know the girl who didn't think about the family of vampires she wanted to belong with and werewolves who were her friends. I wanted to be the girl that had once been Is's big sister. Was that too much to ask?

Yes, yes it was. There was a lot to leave behind, and, right now, I wanted to keep it all. But I would do it. I had to leave before Bella came back. I had to leave before I did something really stupid. (Like try and convince Edward that I was better than Bella or make friends with a bunch of werewolves and convince them to kill Bella in her sleep — all very violent and insane sort of ideas.)

"Okay, I have another reason," I announced angrily.

Jared smiled at me mockingly. "But you don't trust a dog enough to tell him what that reason is, right?"

"It's too personal," I muttered.

"You mean because it would hurt you to stay?"

Damn he was spot on. "No, I never said that."

"Sure, sure." He continued to smile at me, and it made me want to smack him really, _really_ hard. "So, what is the reason?"

"It's too personal," I repeated.

He sighed. "I told you a million times already you can trust me. You just finished telling me your whole life story — and Bella's too — so what's so personal that you can't tell me?"

"Nothing," I admitted sourly.

He grinned at me shyly. He laughed a little and shook his head. That bothered me. I wanted to know what was going through his head that was so funny. He stopped laughing, looked down at his feet, but he didn't stop grinning.

As if he understood my frustration, he said "It's not what you said, it's that expression of yours."

"Oh." I dropped my stupid-werewolf-got-me expression and exchanged it for a that's-embarrassing one.

"You're in love with a vampire, I get that, sort of," Jared mumbled. "But this is your home, isn't it? Whether he brings back Bella or not, right?"

"I don't know." I frowned. "Sometimes I wonder if anything I do is because of me or if it's exactly what Bella would want to do."

"That's why you're leaving." He sounded so shocked that I had to examine his I-get-it-now! expression twice. He turned to me with a deep frown and narrowed eyes. "Bella wouldn't leave."

"You're right." I sounded as shocked as he he had been a second ago.

And he was right — I hadn't even realized it, but that _was_why I was leaving. I didn't want to be Bella Swan! Leaving would prove that I wasn't her. If I could leave Edward, if I could live without him, without that horrible, empty hollow hole inside my chest, I couldn't be Bella. I was leaving to leave her behind. Sure, I wanted to leave behind the hurt too, but leaving her behind was most important. I had thought that living my life away from Forks would fix things, if I lived like me instead of her — but I hadn't realized that leaving Forks was more than just avoiding hurt. I was purposely leaving behind all my connections to that person I would never fully be. Jared had got that. He understood quicker than I did, and it had taken me three hours (more or less) to come up with my reasoning.

"Alright. Leave," he told me. "You'll live with your parents, go to college or something, and then what?"

"Got a job, have a life," I answered. "And never come back to Forks again."

"I know this is silly, since we haven't known each other that long —"

"Jared," I interrupted. "I consider you to be my one true friend in all of Forks — in the whole world, really — I don't think time has anything to do with us anymore. Say whatever it is you want to say." I paused, smiled at him, and took his hand (which was very, very warm). "I won't consider it silly," I promised.

He looked from our interlocked hands to my face, and back again. When he spoke, he spoke to my hand — which was somewhat annoying, but I was thankful after I heard what his so-called silly thoughts were.

"I'll miss you," he told me.

I gulped in a huge amount of hair and snapped my mouth shut when his eyes shot up to meet mine. My face felt hot, and I was sure it was red.

What the hell was wrong with me? I was in love with Edward! I couldn't possibly feel anything for some stupid werewolf I had just met — whoa. No, no, no. Feelings? For _him_? I was going crazy, from the stress (hopefully). It was impossible for me to feel anything for Jared. I was just a little guilt-ridden from telling him we were friends when I was about to take off. It wasn't fair; it was harassment to tease a newly-changed werewolf like that; he didn't need my stress added to his own. Yes, it had to be guilt that made me blush.

But maybe, if I _did_ have feelings for Jared — which I did not — I could stay in Forks...

Nope. No feelings for him at all. Impossible. There was no reason to stay in Forks. Edward was a reason, but it was for him that I was leaving. So, I would leave tomorrow. I would leave behind everyone, and my feelings for them. I would leave Jared behind and I would forget all about whatever _guilt_I had for leaving him. I would come back in ten years to visit Is's grave — and avoid anyone with the last names Cullen, Black or Swan (if that last one hadn't been changed to Cullen by the time I returned) — and I wouldn't see Jared. I wouldn't talk to him again. We couldn't be friends anymore than I could marry Edward Cullen or beat Alice at Go-Fish (I mean, really, she would run every scenario through her head and eventually guess every single card in your hand).

"Jared," I started, sounding calm and very robotic. "I don't think we can be friends. I have to leave, and I don't want to add more stress to your..."—I took my free hand and gestured to his overly-warm body—"..._change_."

He gawked. "Why are you doing this?"

I glared at him and tried to (unsuccessfully) pull my hand out from his. "I told you a million and one times why I was leaving Fork—!"

"I don't mean _that_, Steph," he growled. (Shocking me to the point I wasn't able to move.) "You're trying to detach yourself from Forks — and from me too. You said yourself that we're friends, and now, now that I'm part of your reasoning, you want to disconnect yourself from me!"

"Wh-what?" I sputtered. "That's crazy! I'm not disconnecting or whatever."

"You are," he pressed, coming very close to me, so that I couldn't look away anymore. "You know that you want to stay, Stephanie. So, please, just stay. You don't have to go near those"—he caught himself before he could say 'leeches'—"near _them_ anymore."

"Being in Forks is too close," I said, glowering at him and (finally) yanked my hand out of his. "I have to leave."

"And is this where you lie and tell me that you won't miss living in Forks?" he snapped. (He was shaking a little from anger, and I was a little worried.) "What about your sister? You visited here a lot in the past two years — when do you plan on seeing her again? And me?" All his shaking anger vanished and he looked a little sad. "Don't answer that."

But I felt that I had to. I hung my head and put my face in my hands. "Jared, I will miss you," I croaked. "Okay?"

"But you won't stay."

"No, I won't," I confirmed coldly and shot my head back up. "I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm not coming back — at least not for a long time."

"How long is a long time?" he asked with weak grin. "A week? A month? A year? A couple years?"

I laughed, weakly, because the past two years had felt so long. The past two years had been a lifetime, and I wished that two years was all that was necessary to leave whatever thoughts about vampires and werewolves and Swans I had behind. It wouldn't be though. I was pushing my luck with the ten year plan.

"Ten years," I answered.

He thought that over, and mouthed 'ten years' slowly. It didn't sink in. "That's a long time," he muttered.

"It may not be long enough, " I sighed. "But I can't leave Is here."

"Your sister. No, you can't leave her," Jared agreed. His face was blank and the emotion in his eyes was unreadable.

"I better go," I said, reluctant to leave him.

"I'll come with you," he grinned. His head propped up and his eyes were empty. He already knew my answer.

"Now that's silly, Jared," I grumbled. "You can't come with me. And I don't _want_ you to come with me."

It was hard, lying to him. I had never been good at lying, and, without any effort at all, Jared could tell that much. He seemed to know me better than I did.

"You're lying," he said. A spark of hope returned to his eyes, even though his expression was blank again. "Why are you lying to me?"

"Goodbye, Jared," I snapped, turning on my heels to walk away.

"Wait," he shouted, grabbing my shoulder and spinning me around.

"Go away!" I groaned, trying to shove him off me (again, unsuccessfully).

"I won't go away until you tell me the truth," he barked.

"I don't have to and I don't want to," I sneered.

He planted his other hand on my other shoulder and looked at me, a mixed amount of sadness and hope in his eyes even though his voice was rough (but calm sounding). "Please, Steph," he begged. "We're friends, right? We can stay that way, right? Even if you leave—"

"No, Jared!" I yelled. "We can't be friends! I thought we could, but I can't talk to you ever again."

"Because seeing me would convince you to stay?" he asked. (And he hit the mark perfectly.)

"That has nothing to do with the actual reason," I sputtered angrily.

"Sure, sure," he snapped, spotting my lie.

"Stop that!" I ordered. "Stop saying that!"

"Why?" He was honestly curious, but I wasn't in the mood.

"You — sound too much like Is...," I moaned. "And I don't like it."

"Because it makes you want to stay?" he questioned, sounding hopeful, as if he was getting through to me.

He was wrong. He was too deep in, and I was too angry to care about his feelings, my feelings or anything else for that matter. I had to get away from him, and if that meant hurting him, then I would. I wanted to hurt him so badly that he would let me go and I could rush off to wherever my feet could take me.

"Nothing could make me want to stay here," I seethed. "Especially not when a bunch of stupid werewolves are planning to attack my family."

"They aren't you family, Steph!" he reminded me. He may have looked bewildered, but his words sounded cruel to me.

"And your not my friend! You're not anything to me! I have more of an alliance with them than with _you_," I snapped. "So let me go. I'm leaving tomorrow and there's nothing a stupid dog like you can do about it!"

His hands dropped, and so did any hope he had left. It all feel from him and his mouth popped open, but no words came out. Even as I spun around and raced from the graveyard I knew that I would regret saying those horrid things for the rest of my life.

* * *

She left. I had tried to keep her here but she left. There was nothing I could do, just as she had told me. I was, as she has said, a stupid dog. I felt stupid. How could I think for a second that she would want to be near me when she knew what I had become? I was less of a human than that vampire she loved.

But she didn't love him. It was Bella. She had explained to me that it could be Bella's thoughts and memories that clouded her mind with feelings for the vampire.

I wanted to believe that it was because of how hurt and confused she was feeling that she had been so angry with me, but it was hard. Nobody tells you that your heart literally breaks in heartbreak. They don't tell you how much it hurts.

I was so stupid. I had imprinted on a half-crazy with stress girl who was in love with my supposed-to-be (im)mortal enemy. Not that I could control who I imprinted on, but, still, it was better to blame the imprint screw-up than blame Steph or entirely myself.

Sadness and hurt was soon replaced with anger. I hated the stupid imprint, and the pain it caused me. I hated the leeches who were messing up Stephanie's life. I hated that she was so angry at me. I hated that I was so stupid.

I felt nothing but hate, anger — and just a quiet echo of hurt, pain, and sorrow — and my body began rippling and shaking because of it. I couldn't contain myself any longer, and I didn't have enough will power to want to keep myself calm. My breathing became heavy, my clothes tore, and soon I was racing backward, passed the apple tree, no longer in my human form.

I had imprinted on Stephanie, and, worse than that, there was a high chance I had fallen in love with her. Again, proof of how stupid I was. I should have walked away after bumping into her today. I would have saved myself a lot of hurt. I would have rather realized how I felt long after she left. She would be angry with me then.

I raced forward and relief washed over me when the canopy of the forest hid me from the sun. The sun was low in the sky; there was only a couple hours before the sun would set. I liked being in the dark, with nothing but green all around me. The forest was peaceful, not at all like the world outside it's leafy borders. I moved with silence, and the only sound of twigs snapping was far off, some hunter in the distance. I steered away from the noises, and move passed even the birds in their nests and the deer noiselessly munching away on their vegetarian diner. (After all, as far as I knew, being a herbivore meant you were a vegetarian 24/7, from the moment you were born to the moment you die.)

(Wouldn't that be great though? Unchanging from the moment your born to the moment you die? You would know exactly what you are all your life. You wouldn't have to worry about what you would become, what would become of you. Your only worry would be your next meal. You could go wherever you like, really. There would be nothing to tie you down.)

(Now, I didn't want to become a vegetarian. That wasn't my point. But being an animal seemed a lot easier than being a human — or worse, changing from human to animal, from a horrid beast to human again. It would be nice to stick with one form over switching between the two.)

So, I kept moving. I didn't stop when I realized that I had been running back to the reservation. I turned around and continued along in the forest. I wasn't going to go back today. Maybe tomorrow.

No, not tomorrow. Tomorrow she was leaving for no good reason. I couldn't go back. I would be thinking to hard on how to keep her here, or how to drag her back. I would go home on Saturday. Whatever trouble happened on Friday was beyond my power; I could clean up the mess of my life later, when I was ready to face what I had become. For now, I would roam as a beast. What harm could come from that?

* * *

I had no idea where I was running to! I had never run so much in my life. I had never wandered around with nothing in my head before. I had stared into space bored before, but that was nothing close to this numb, uncertain feeling I was experiencing right now.

Guilt again, I told myself. I was feeling guilty over the hurtful things I had said to Jared. And I was scared to go back to see Edward and then faint in his house only to wake up and meet Bella. I really, really didn't want to face that.

So, I stayed numb and uncertain. That was an easy thing to do. I had wandered to my house, but I didn't want to go in. I was going to pack up and leave tomorrow, and I didn't want to face that now.

I ran around until I was breathless, and then headed back to my house. I fumbled around for my key, unlocked the door, and then closed it behind me.

I didn't waste time. I went to my room and started packing up my clothes in whatever bags I could find. I found some boxes in the basement that we had never thrown away from when we moved to Forks two years ago. Phil's things were all in Jacksonville, and so were most of Renee's things. She had a few clothes here, a pair of earrings still on her dresser, and bed made with a bright-coloured blanket over top. Very little of her had remained in Forks. Her two daughters, however, would remain in Forks forever. I wasn't about to become the third.

Issie's things — what hadn't been sold or thrown out — were fewer still (not that she had much to begin with). I packed up the books she liked, the ones that were mixed in with the ones I liked. The box was full and still there were more books. I packed up another box, filled that, and all that was left was an unabridged version of _Alice in Wonderland_ with _Through the Looking Glass_ in the back. (I made sure to pack up all my Anne Rice novels and anything that mentioned the word vampire or anything else supernatural first.)

(Alice...I would leave her behind too. She had been the closest to Bella of Edward's siblings, and I had felt that connection myself. It would be hard to leave her. It would be hard to leave all of them. Although, they would forget me very quickly, I was sure.)

_Alice in Wonderland_ was, in a word, a frightening book. It was like the other classic stories, all hinting or directly saying that the world was a cruel and unusual place. It wasn't like Disney at all. Disney had changed the story to make it cheerful, delightful, and just a hint of odd. The real story was disturbing and strange in so many ways. It was delightful, in a way, but, when I had first read it, when I had thought over every meaning in the story, I put the book back on the shelf and read it only once more, three or so years later. It wasn't so disturbing that I could compare it to _Zodiac_ or _Predator_, but it certainly beat _Jurassic Park_ (the books, the movies) or _Darkness Falls_or Furbies (creepy little things. Uhhhg).

I placed _Alice in Wonderland_ on my pillow, and then hauled the boxes out into the hallway one by one. I knew I had to take them downstairs, but that would be for later.

I had no boxes left, so I locked my front door and left my house to go to the store to buy a bunch of boxes (which, surprisingly, they has fair-sized boxes). I wasn't very good with names, and, even in a town this small, I still didn't remember the store manager's name. He remembered me though. He talked up a storm, and (of course) had to mention twice how much I looked like Bella and how he had known her and how they had been planning to go to the prom (yeah, right) but she cancelled last minute for reasons unknown to him (again, yeah right). I just nodded and mumbled "Mhm," or "Yeah. Well, that's interesting," and then hurried out of there before he could saying anything more.

"See you later, Stephanie," the manger yelled after me. "Wait a minute there — what are all those boxes for?"

I relaxed when the door to the store closed behind me and I continued on my way. I was halfway down the street when his name finally came to me by means of voice in my head.

_That was Tyler Crowley_.

_That_ was another reason to leave. I didn't need Bella's voice in my head reminding me of names here and there. I wanted to meet my own annoying people, and make friends of my own that I could trust, and meet someone amazing and wonderful to marry and have children — depending on if I wasn't still annoyed by little kids by that point.

When I was home again — _home_...but not my home for long — I boxed up my clothes and any linens I could find, including Renee's bedsheets as well as my own. The next step was to call Renee, but the sun had already set and I had promised Edward to be back by midnight. I would never, ever break a promise to him.

I gazed at the clock for what seemed like an hour — although only a minute passed. It was 10:59 PM. I had half an hour until I had to see Edward again. Thank God he couldn't read my mind, or else I wouldn't get the chance to tell him my plan, I would be so nervous — ashamed even.

The only hint left of someone living in the house by 11:36 PM was the food in the kitchen and the pantry. I stuffed ate the last orange, a few carrots, and took out the last apple in attempt to empty the refrigerator. However, that last apple made me freeze. Now, maybe a rational person might realize that standing next to an open refrigerator might cause a bit of cold, but, being me, I didn't take the rational response.

I immediately thought of Jared and I sitting by the apple tree. I thought of Bella and Edward in the cafeteria at lunch, Bella twisting the apple in her hands. I thought of Snow White and how poisonous the apple had been for her — she had been promised her dreams, but that was impossible. The poison wasn't what kept her alive in that forever-sleep though, it had been the promise that all her dreams would come true. For her, they did. For me, I would rather take the poison than actual have my dreams come true — because, in my case, if my dreams came true it would mean hurting the people I loved.

A shiver ran up my spine, and I chucked the apple across the room and it hit a wall and tumbled across the floor, stopping at my feet. I stared at the apple for a long time, half afraid and half wondering if it was a coincidence that it rolled to my feet. Was it a metaphor? Did it mean that I could never escape my past? I could never escape Bella Swan? Or...was I completely crazy and it didn't mean a thing except that I had ruined a perfectly good apple?

I felt so cold. The room spun and my brain was submerged in water. I was floating in that water, and it was carrying me away from the light, away from the kitchen.

My head settled, but I was dizzy still. I could concentrate though. I was in the kitchen and it was now 11:41 PM. I had to get to Edward. I couldn't break my promise.

My stomach growled. I had eaten so much out of the fridge already and yet I was still so hungry! My head was messing with me.

I picked up the apple, and took a bite.

I fell forward and my vision became level with the floor. Then, my vision was gone. It was completely black, and, finally, completely nothing.

* * *

Holy crow! I had been so close there! One minute I was seeing Tyler Crowley (as a store manager and slightly balding) and then next there was an intense light surrounding me. My body had been as light as air and I had almost floated right through the surface of the box/coffin I was in. I had heard Is's shouts and protesting, and she was begging with Stephanie to hold on. I banged harder on the box lid and a strange taste filled my mouth. Apple. My mouth had been filled with the taste of apple. I had blinked and seen a strange sight: a sideways kitchen, so it seemed. I had blinked again though, and my body was heavy again. The light was there, but it wasn't bright. Is wasn't complaining, but she was cursing horribly under her breath, which was shallow and weak. Her voice was weak too. She was fading quickly.

Is hadn't talked to me in a while, and I was afraid for her. She had already told me that she was going to leave tomorrow (when I broke out!) but she hadn't specifically said to where. I knew we were both dead, and I had come to accept that (but it was very hard to do). I knew I was going back to Edward though, so I wasn't worried for me. Is couldn't come back. And she couldn't stay here. I could only hope her destination was heaven.

"You must be happy," Is croaked in a low, sad voice. "You'll be free in an hour."

I held my breath. (An hour! One hour until I could see the Cullens again!) Is was going to leave in an hour. Wherever she was being sent to, or sending herself, she had only an hour left here.

"I am happy," I admitted. "But I'm also worried."

She snorted. "Worried? Ha!" She paused, and any strength that had remained in her voice was completely gone. "Why are you worried, Bella? Do you worry about how much things have changed? Do you worry if you'll still be wanted? Or do you really worry over what you have to do to get out of here?"

I sighed. "Is, please," I begged quietly. "Don't make me such a monster. I don't want to hurt you or your sister."

"She hated you not long ago," Is reminded me. "Why did you not hate her?"

"I'm not here because of her," I answered truthfully. "She's in this mess just as much as me."

"Worse," Is groaned. "You're going to steal her life in just an hour!" She paused, and I heard her fingers tap on the lid of my coffin. "You can come back; we can't."

"Stephanie will find a life somewhere with Renee and Phil, away from Forks—"

"Why does she have to leave Forks at all?" Is snapped. "Why do we all have to cater to your wants and needs Bella Swan?"

"Fine, she can stay," I grumbled nervously. "I didn't mean that she had to leave. I just meant it would be hard, I think."

"It would be hard considering she'll be trapped in here while your out there," Is moaned. "Stephanie! I can't imagine her in here! She'll hate it."

My eyes widened (not that she could see that). "Wait — she's going to be trapped—?"

"That's right, Miss Swan," Is laughed coldly. "Now you know exactly what you're about to do. Have fun living with your guilt for however long your Edward keeps you alive for."

I was surprised that she could feel my guilt. She had been reading my mind ever since I woke up in this place.

"I hope you're happy now," I mumbled coldly. "This decision just got a lot harder."

"Not really," she said in a cheery, cold-tempered tone. "You already made your decision. There's no going back. Stephanie's fate is sealed. And so is yours."

And then all light vanished, and I knew Stephanie would be awake one last time before I changed her life forever.

* * *

My eyes shot open. I was in the Volvo. I turned my head to the side. Edward was driving. There was a curious expression on his face — a mix of sadness and worry.

"You're awake," he stated in his perfect, velvet voice.

My heart sank. I heard it there. It was so close to the voice I could hear in Bella's memories. I had helped a little, brought him back to life (so to speak), but he had never so fully sounded like himself before that second. Knowing that he would see Bella again, so soon, was enough to bring him back entirely. And it hurt to know that.

"I'm awake," I muttered.

"You're making a bad habit of fainting, Steph," he chuckled. "You should be more careful."

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Sure, sure."

I noticed that my hand was clenched tightly around something roundish, and I felt the wet bite-mark and the few bruises from when I chucked it across the room. I stared at the apple in my hand, speechless, and remained like that, unthinking, until we reached the Cullen house.

I was suddenly so afraid. Would it hurt? Would I faint that last time and then wake to see Bella so comfortable in Edward's arms? Or would Edward rush me out the front door, whisper a quick "I'm sorry this can't work out, have a nice life," and then I would never see him again? How would Bella arrive? Please, God, not fall from the sky or swoop out of the clouds like an angel — Edward's personal angel. I hoped she would have dirt all over her (and mud and weeds) from crawling out of the earth, from her grave. (And I could also pretend that the dirt was ash and the dirt in her hair was from being singed by fire — the fire's of hell. Heh, heh. That would make leaving easier.)

I got out of the car without a word, and Edward didn't attempt to bring up conversation. I was grateful; I didn't want to hear his perfect voice again (to hear the joy in it — because of her — would be torture). However, I wasn't grateful when he kept the distance between us. I didn't like how far apart we were. It had always been that way, the distance, but it had only been in my head before. I didn't like seeing how clear it was — how real it was — how he felt it too.

Edward opened the door for me, and I wandered inside, and headed directly for the piano. I stood beside it and closed my eyes, imagining the melody one last time. I couldn't play it again. I couldn't play any of his songs; it would hurt to much to remember. For now though, I would listen inside myself and memorize every bit of it. I would remember the key, every pause, every note, and every feeling that came with the mix of the precious lullaby.

My eyes popped open and I released a soundless gasp when Edward's fingers stroked over the keys, caressing the piano in a beautiful, melodic pattern. How he must have felt when he wrote it; how much he must still love her to play it once more for me.

I watched with a mix of sorrow, awe, horror, and incredible happiness. I listened carefully and anything my memory had missed before, I captured it now. By the time the lullaby was halfway done I was able to close my eyes again. I cleared my face of any expression, any hint of the pain every chord caused me. The sound was so beautiful, and the sound was so hurtful. It would be the last time I would ever hear it.

I must have stood there for a while. The song had been over for a while too. I opened my eyes to find Edward looking at me. I glanced away, afraid and ashamed. I stared around the room and started to cry as I took in my last look of the Cullen house.

"Stephanie?" Edward asked in a soft, delicate, worried tone, as he wiped a tear from my cheek.

I turned away and pretended that I couldn't feel his hand on my shoulder. I shivered, and that cancelled out my pretending. I closed my eyes and took a few steadying breathes while he spun me around to face him.

"What's wrong?"

He already knew, I was sure, but he was asking anyway. Another of the many reasons why I loved him.

I stared into his liquid topaz eyes and debated (in my head) if requesting that he would let them smoulder at me one last time would be a stupid last request. I decided against it, and allowed him to become more and more frustrated that he could understand my thoughts.

I sighed, my breath staggering and slow, and glanced over my shoulder. I gripped the apple tightly in my hands (why did I still have that?) and tried to release all my stress into the little red fruit.

"Promise..." I has started to speak, but I couldn't continue. My throat my closing in on itself and my head was spinning.

"Steph? Please?" He wanted to hear whatever it was I had been about to say — oh, great.

"Promise that you won't forget me," I requested. I peered into his eyes and he finally realized that I knew exactly what was about to happen.

There wasn't a single sound. There was nothing. Edward had stopped breathing, and I was holding my breath (although it hurt a little and my lungs were protesting with me). No sound, only Edward considering a 'yes' or 'no' to my final request.

My brain was flooded again, and my body began to shake.

"I won't forget you," Edward promised.

"Promise?" My voice was so quiet, it surprised me.

"I promise."

"Thank you," I whispered.

He kissed me, and not where I had been expecting. I had thought a kiss on the cheek would be a little much, but he kissed my lips softly. I lost all feeling in my limbs, and then my body went limp. The apple tumbled from my hand and the last I saw was Edward's topaz eyes smouldering at me.

Okay. That was a lie. Apparently that wasn't the last thing I saw. Now, also, apparently I was asleep now. I was in that strange room where I had last seen Is. And, speak of the devil (so to speak) Is was standing in front of me. She looked tired, and worried.

She looked exactly like how I felt.

* * *

"Is!" cried some new, unfamiliar voice.

"I told you not to come back here," Is reminded the girl.

"To tell you the truth, I didn't come on purpose," the girl laughed. "This is nice though. I thought I would have to go back quickly. I won't have to face Bella alone though; you'll be with me."

She had said my name. Whoever this girl was, she had said my name. Why would she be facing me?

Stephanie. This girl was Stephanie.

"I have to go now, Steph," Is told her.

"Why?" Stephanie asked, her voice sad.

"I can't hang around in your head forever," Is grunted. "I'm dead, remember? I get to go to heaven now. I've done my job."

"Oh. Sure, sure. Heaven."

'Sure, sure'? Had she met Jacob?

"Can you get back?" Is said suddenly, her voice high and strained.

"Get back? This is a dream, isn't—"

"Try. Please, Steph, try right now," Is begged.

"I don't know how," Stephanie admitted. "And...I don't know if I want to."

"_Don't say that_!" Is screeched.

But it was too late. The lid of my coffin blew off, and I could see white — a white ceiling? A white light? — above me. I sat up. I was a little stiff, but I could move. I stood up and looked around the room. There was white everywhere — but that wasn't what startled me. It was my clones standing a few feet away from me that startled me.

"It's too late," mumbled the clone that looked less like me, and had brown hair that was so dark it was almost black. She was Is. I recognized her voice.

"What do you mean too late?" the other girl, the more twin-like one, said. Her voice, although frantic, was easily recognizable. She was Stephanie. She looked a lot like me. I felt like I was staring at a mirror. Except, she was a touch taller, her hair was lighter and her skin was (scarily) even lighter than mine. More albino than me, I guess.

"Bye, Stephie," Is smiled sadly. Then, she was gone.

"Is? Issie?" Stephanie called. "Issie? Where did you go?" She paused, and her tone became even more frantic. "Issie? Please!? Where did you go? _Issie_!?"

I watched as Stephanie stumbled around the room in a senseless search for her sister. She eventually dropped to her knees. Her hands stayed uselessly at her sides and she stared, wide-eyed, blankly, into space with tears falling off her eyes and forming salty rivers down her cheeks.

"She's in heaven now," I told her, hoping to bring some peace to such a sorrowing, hurting face. Instead, anger flashed to her blank expression.

"That's your fault," she snapped. I didn't answer, and I didn't move when she stood up and walked toward me.

She stopped in front of me. Her fists were clenched, but, even though anger was clear on her face, there was no hint of it in her eyes. I saw only confusion there. I didn't react. I didn't know what to do to help her.

"Why did you do this?" she demanded. "You had to be selfish, didn't you? You had to try and come back for Edward! I know he deserves that much, but why did you have to put Is through all that! You could have stuck to ruining my existence. Not hers."

"She felt the opposite," I said. "She would rather I didn't effect you."

"It's too late for that," Stephanie sighed. She shook her head and closed her eyes, her head directed to the floor.

Her head snapped up a few seconds later, and her eyes, piercing at me with such strength and authority that I flinched back.

"It's not too late to give me back my life," I said. "You can have whatever you want, just let me leave Forks, okay? I don't want to make Edward unhappy, so I won't stay."

If I had felt guilt before, this didn't compare to it. It was equal to the guilt of hurting Jacob to the point of running away, and equal to the pain I had caused...Edward.

I heard his voice. His wasn't talking to me, he was speaking quietly to someone else. His voice was close though, as if he was whispering with his face close to mine. I revelled in the feeling of being close to him. I felt something icy on my back — a hand.

I caught Stephanie then. She had s frightened look on her face. It was the look one would see on a deer in front of headlight, right before she got run over. She reached her hand to her shoulder, and then her head dropped. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder then.

I realized what was happening too late. She was losing all feeling with her body — and I was gaining it. Just as Is had said, I was taking over Stephanie's life, but in a different way than I had originally thought — I was taking control of her body.

"Edward," Stephanie croaked.

I was suddenly flung forward and Stephanie pushed passed me. I saw the coffin lid close her in and then my eyes shot open and I was gasping, sitting up and—Edward.

"Bella? Bella is that you?" Edward was asking.

I looked up, slowing my repeating gasp, and caught Edward's eyes, and noticed all the Cullens were there. I bit my lip and tried to fight the tears in my eyes. But, there was no point. I lifted my hand up and stretched out my fingers. My body — Stephanie's body — was heavy, so much more than my body had been when I was stuffed inside that stupid, horrid coffin. (Then again, that had been my soul and I imagine souls are lighter than bodies.)

"Edward...," I whispered, my lip trembling.

He looked so close to crying himself, and his eyes filled with such hope and longing — more than I had ever seen in him — more than I had seen in my life.

"Bella, it's really you," he said.

"Yes," I confirmed, my voice trembling along with my hands now. (The tears increased then and spilled over my eyes.) "I'm — I'm alive, Edward. Somehow, I'm — I'm—"

"Bella, Bella," he murmured, pulling me close to the point of almost-suffocation — which would be really bad. If I died again...I couldn't imagine how horrible that would be. I would have made Stephanie's sacrifice (although she didn't do it on purpose) meaningless.

Before I could attempt to speak again, he was kissing me. My lips until I was gasping for air (regretfully, I had to nudge him a little to hint that he was nearly killing me off), then it was the rest of me. My neck, my hair, (my lips again, and another nudge) and my face. His kissed my hands, grasping them tightly (not enough to hurt) in his own.

I glanced around at the rest of the Cullens who were smiling (and Esme and Alice were nearly bawling — except vampires can't cry). They all looked like they could use a good round of the happy dance. Emmett was laughing to the point of hysteria and Jasper was a combination of shock, joy, and awkward laughter. Alice was jumping up and down, trying to push passed Edward (unsuccessfully) to get to me. Carlisle embraced Esme and they were smiling from me to each other. Alice was muttering "I knew it, I knew she'd come back to us!" over and over again. Each time she said it, she sounded more convinced.

But I knew it wasn't permenant. I knew this couldn't last quite like this. I couldn't live when I knew that Stephanie was trapped inside that coffin just as I had been.

"Edward," I mumbled into Edward's lips.

"Yes, Bella?" He chuckled through a choked voice. "You have no idea how good it feels to say your name. I can't tell you...Bella, you're _alive_."

"Yes, I am, but—"

He kissed my lips again, as if he knew I was about to ruin the moment and he wanted to shut me up. I pressed against him and tried to push him off me — my will power lacking and my steadily increasing pulse not encouraging me to stop him — but he didn't stop. He was more delicate, but he didn't stop. My strength was useless against him, and I knew he had missed me, how much it must have hurt him, and I really didn't want to stop the feel of his lips on me. I had to though. I had to help Stephanie. She was willing to give up her life for Edward's sake, willing to give her life up for Is is she could have, and she had stopped hating me and started wanting me to have the life I had missed.

I had felt that. When she had stopped hating me, she had put herself in my shoes and she had thought of how Edward missed me and how wonderful I must have been. I couldn't leave her alone, trapped, inside that dark place while I stole her life. Even if not for her alone, I had to do it for Renee (and Phil) who would be losing her third daughter if I took over Stephanie's body. I would never do that to my mother.

"Edward, please, I need to talk," I breathed, grabbing his face and trying to pull his attention to listening to me instead of kissing me.

I could see that it was hard for him to back away from me (I wanted nothing but to touch him too) but he did. I smiled at him, and he smiled at me and it made my heart ache for him more. I ignored the ache though, and shot each of the Cullens a warm, I-missed-you-so-much smile, which, they all returned to me. Even Rosalie, who, strangely looked even more relieved and thankful than anyone (excluding Edward).

"I missed all of you so much," I said in a voice that relfected how many tears were in my eyes. (I sounded choked up or half-drowned.)

I saw shock run through all of their expressions. For a second, I didn't get why they'd be shocked. I mean, clearly, I had been gone for a long time and seeing pieces of their current lives through Stephanie had made me miss them especially — oh, right. They didn't know about that.

"I know this sounds strange, but, I was inside Stephanie and I could see some things she saw and hear some things too," I explained. "And her thoughts. I could hear those. So, I know a bit about what's been happening. But, not all. I only started being conscious a week or so ago."

"Is's warning," Edward mumbled.

"What?" Now I was the one out of the loop.

"Stephanie knew something was going to happen today," Alice answered. "She said her sister had warned her."

I sighed. "Of course Is did. She had been trying to keep me trapped in there anyway possible. It makes sense than she would warn Steph."

Shock ran through the crowd standing above me.

Wait — why was I on the ground? Oh, right. I remembered. Somehow, Steph's memory came to me. I saw it. I had — she had — fainted. That explained why I had felt Edward's arms on me. He had caught me, and he was still holding me. (Except I was sitting up now instead of lying on the ground.)

"She tried keep you trapped inside Steph?" Edward asked, sounding angry. (God, I forgot how amazing his voice was, even when angry.)

"Don't blame her," I pleaded, gently caressing Edward's cheek (which felt good, and I was sure he felt the same). "She blamed me for her death, so she was a little bitter. And I did just steal her sister's life."

The Cullen crowd tensed then. They felt the same guilt I felt.

"And that's why I can't stay," I choked.

"Bella—"

"No, Edward," I interrupted, shaking my head and ignoring the sorrow coming to his eyes. "It isn't right."

Edward's eyes didn't leave mine. He wasn't agreeing though. He was still so happy that I was alive, still in the moment, and I had dropped a bomb on him. An atomic bomb at that. I had bad timing. Why hadn't I waited? I guess if I waited I would forget that I had to go back and then I'd marry him, and then I'd become a vampire...and remembering Stephanie a hundred years later wouldn't benefit her.

"Right, Edward?" I prompted.

"I can't lose you again, Bella," he told me. There was no arguing with him. His tone made that clear — he wasn't going to budge.

"You're not making this any easier," I groaned.

"You should change your mind," Edward insisted. "That's easier than trying to convince me to change my mind."

"I know that's impossible," I sighed. "But that's fine. I don't need your help. I just need sleep. I can dream myself back to that place...and I'll help Steph get out of there."

"But you won't need sleep anymore," Edward said in a low voice.

"What?" I snapped. "Of course I need sleep! I'm alive again, so, to stay alive, I need slee—"

I cut myself short when I realized what he was saying. Vampires didn't need sleep. If I became a vampire...but Stephanie...

This was no easy. I had to die (again) to give Stephanie back her life. I had to give up Edward (again) and all that I wanted (again). This wasn't fair. If there was some all-powerful fate, I was very mad at it. Couldn't I have been happy? Stephanie too? Wasn't there a way around one of us giving up our life?

"Edward, I can't stay here knowing that I did nothing to help her," I said. "I have to help her."

"I can't let you die," he countered. "Not again."

"If there's a way to stay, then I'll stay," I promised. "I swear, I really don't want to die, I don't want to leave you...any of you." I looked around at the faces, all of them concerned and unsure. "But I can't live with this guilt either."

"There has to be another way," Alice grumbled. "I saw you come back, and..." Her eyes widened and I heard a loud gasp and then she shot everyone a look and grinned. "Ha! I _knew_ it! See that, Edward?"

"Yes, so?" He was very put out that I was planning to die again, and it was clear in his tone. "You saw Stephanie moving in with Renee and Phil."

"And that's four days from now," Alice giggled. Edward didn't react. "And, in four days from now, I see Bella as a vampire."

I was with Edward. I didn't get it, so, thanks to Emmett, that was made very clear to everyone.

"Alice, none of us understand what you're saying," Emmett told her.

She rolled her eyes. "I see _Bella_ as a vampire, not _Bella_-_in_-_Stephanie's_-_body_ as a vampire."

"We both get to live?" I chirped happily. "How?"

"We..." Alice closed her eyes and focused on whatever visions she had had lately. "It's hard to tell. Three hours ago I was being blocked by werewolves, but something has stopped them from interfering."

_Jared_. _Could he have_...?

I shook my head (and hopefully shook away Stephanie's train of thought with that action). "Whatever the case is, let's hope it stays that way. I want to save Stephanie without them messing things up accidentally."

"We could get them out of the way if we had to," Emmett assured me. I smiled at his effort to cheer everyone up (although, he was probably very serious about that offer).

"It's better if we don't cause ourselves more problems, Emmett," Edward warned.

"Just trying to help," Emmett muttered.

"Huh, oh," Alice gasped. Her eyes flew open and she turned her eyes one Edward. "We have to turn them both into vampires."

"Both?" I asked.

"Your body and Steph's body," Alice explained, her voice strained and her mind focused on something that seemed unpleasant.

"But isn't my body kind of underground?" I pointed out.

"Yeah, it is," she answered with a shrug.

"Oh. Wonderful."

Oh, wonderful is right. I came back to life to dig up my grave. Very unpleasant.

* * *

**"I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you." - Collin Raye**

* * *

**Sorry for the delay. I was very busy. I got my learner's permit (yes! I AM awesome!), had to take the written test twice though. Not fun. Not fun. (But I failed the easy one and passed the hard one. Strange, eh?) And a million and one other things.**

**So, I hope you liked it. Please REVIEW! THANKS!**


	17. Chapter 17: Thriller

**"What is a kiss? Alacke! At worst, A single Dropp to quenche a Thirst, Tho'oft it proves in happie Hour - The first sweete Dropp of one long showre." - unknown. (It's in old English, so I hope you can understand it.)**

* * *

_Dedicated to_ Fall Down Again Bella _for being such a hilarious and wonderful reviewer_/_reader_!

* * *

**Chapter 17: Thriller**

When I first met Edward Cullen, I had a feeling that I had met him before. I never would have guessed though that I really had, except, I wasn't me.

Now I know different. Strange things aren't so strange anymore; the paranormal has become normal. I'm trapped in some black box while Bella Swan prances around in my body like she owns it — which she doesn't. I was born in it, I had my tooth shoved through my lip in it, I scraped my knee when I fell off my bike in it, I went through puberty in it, I went through my sister's death in it. I get the rights to it. My body. Not hers.

Okay, maybe I should have realized that when a corpse was standing in front of me, something bad was going to happen. But nope. I was being an idiot, all happy to see my sister (one last time, not that I knew that at the time) and then she died. Again. She was gone and — of all people — Bella Swan was trying to console me. What hellish place was I in now? That Lois Lane was consoling Lana Lang? Last time I checked, we were supposed to be bitter enemies. Not frienemies.

I was probably overreacting. She was just a girl; I was just a girl. We were no different. She's cried before, and I had seen that, in her memories. I had certainly cried before. She had laughed, I had laughed. Edward made us happy. There really wasn't a differences between us — except she was a body snatcher. Jerk.

I was being a hypocrite. I had been a major jerk to Jared earlier. Then again, jerks can call other people jerks, right? A jerk would know best.

My thoughts were scattered, and I couldn't keep control of my thought pattern. My thoughts went from Edward to Jared to Bella to Is to Edward to Bella to Renee and Phil to Edward and back to how to get out of wherever I was. I had no idea where I was, and no one to keep my company either. At least Is kept Bella company, locked inside my mind. I could still talk (I had tried but, no response), but there was no one to talk to. That made it kind of pointless.

I had tried to get out by force (kicking, screaming, banging, clawing with my fingernails) but that hadn't worked. I had tried begging (basically "Let me out! Bella if you can hear me get in here and don't let me go insane in here."), but that was stupid. Even if she could hear me, why would she want to save me? She had everything now. She had Edward. (Among other things/people, but, sorry to say, they were less important.) If I wasn't trapped inside my/her head maybe I would care so much, but I was stuck. I wasn't some poltergeist haunting around her in the real world, I was on the inside. Not much fun in here. No blue skies, no rain, no air (but somehow I was still breathing -- yes, breathing), no hope. I had only myself to keep me company, and, to be honest, I didn't know who that was.

I had always been the Bella copy, Issie's big sister, Renee's new daughter, or "You're Phil's kid, right?" But I didn't have an exact identity of my own. Not fun for me.

So who was I now? Sure, "Girl stuck in her own body" had a nice ring to it — okay, not really — but, for the sake of staying sane, what would happen to me if I did escape? If Bella was considerate enough to consider the fact she was a body snatcher, what would I do if we traded places (again)? Could I possibly wake up knowing that Edward would hate me? Certainly he would hate me for not giving Bella the chance to live (again). He loved her; that automatically made me the villain.

Oh, great. So now, not only was I not the number one damsel in distress / Lana Lang, I was now Lex Luther too. I was bald, bad, and willing to do anything to mae one kryptonian hunk suffer. I didn't want to be that though. I wanted Edward to be happy but — call me selfish — I wanted to live. For the first time since I was, well, born, I wanted a chance to be alive and a chance to be _me_. Was that really so much to ask? Apparently.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was monologuing in my head for some unknown period of time, wasting my life away, whilst the young heroine Swan dives into my life without hesitation. So, I was stuck in side her (me) as the antagonist as she pranced around all protagonist-like with my only love on her arm (or in her pants — I really didn't want to know at this point).

(Or maybe I did want to know...)

I could hear. As dumb as that sounded to my own mind, it was what was happening. I could hear my voice, speaking _her_ words. Who was she talking to? Ah, of course. Who else would Juliet be talking to but her Romeo?

* * *

**At the same time, Bella strikes up uncomfortable conversation with Edward...dun dun dunnn:**

"Edward, will you please listen to me?" I begged.

He simply shook his head murmured a quick "No, love," and then kept kissing me. Now, that was hard. I couldn't fight back — I didn't have enough strength or will power — and he was not helping.

Alice was off trying to focus on her visions, trying to find a way to put my mind/soul into my (decayed) body and give Stephanie back her life/body. (Uh, life was confusing after death.) She hadn't seen anything more, not yet, and she was worried. She had seen Stephanie leaving Forks and seen me, in my own body, with Edward. She had seen my corpse...and also seen Stephanie being turned into a vampire.

And that was the guilt-trip there too. Did Stephanie have to pay such a high price for my life? For my happiness? It wasn't fair. I was stealing her life either way. I still hadn't made the decision yet, but it was best to get things prepared before werewolves interrupted my decision-making process.

Jacob. I hadn't seen him in so long — even longer than my time apart from Edward — and I wondered what he would say if we met again. I knew from Stephanie's experience at the airport that Jacob had married Leah Clearwater — I had to admit that stung a bit. I was over Jacob; I had Edward. Still, I had loved Jacob, and still loved him, in a different way. How strange it would be to see him face to face. I hoped that I would be in my own body at that point, otherwise the meeting would take a turn for the worse. Jacob hadn't reacted very well when Stephanie started quoting my life to him (and called him something not so polite), so he wouldn't want to see her face again.

Her face...my face...We looked so alike. I had found the first mirror I could find and stared at my reflection, tilting my head every direction. It was scary how alike we were. She was taller than me, so I was a little shocked when Edward finally gave me the chance to stand up. I was a closer height now! He still towered over me, but at least I didn't have to reach up so far to kiss him (which, I did a lot more of than I should have).

It was a little strange, kissing Edward, being close to him, knowing that this wasn't my body. He probably felt some awkwardness, but he hid it well. I hoped that it wasn't all for me — maybe he was being at least a little curtious toward Stephanie? — or maybe there was more to their relationship?

If I recalled correctly, Edward had kissed her. Not me in her; Edward had kissed Stephanie Dwyer.

"Edward, you kissed her," I said quietly.

He froze. He was a perfect marble statue, waiting for me to continue. I didn't know what else to say. I loved Edward, more than anything, more than anyone, and yet, now that the tables were turned, I couldn't give him the same courtesy he had shown me with Jacob. I was shocked. I wasn't used to Edward being imperfect.

"Edward, you can't deny that you kissed her," I whispered slowly. "I just need to know...if you..." Why was this so hard? I took a breath and somehow found the strength to look him in the eyes. "Do you love her?"

* * *

Ridiculous! This was getting ridiculous. I couldn't shake them; I couldn't run away anymore. Normally, I would be approve a search party for a kid who ran away into the woods. But this wasn't normal. I was a werewolf — w-e-r-e-w-o-l-f; fury with teeth and a load of anger — and I didn't need rescuing. I needed some space.

I can understand that Dad would be worried, considering how pissed off I had been when I had ran out of the house — in werewolf mode — and that was a little conspicuous. The neighbours might care.

Actually, they probably wouldn't. I happened to know for a fact that the neighbours had a newly-changed werewolf of their own — my cousin, Harry Clearwater. But if I were to stumble into a hiker, the whole werewolf thing would be hard to explain. I could just imagine how well that would turn out...

"_Ah_! _What the hell_? _The thing is huge_!"  
"_Run for your lives_!"

Cue Michael Jackson...

—_It's Close To Midnight And Something Evil's Lurking In The Dark_  
_Under The Moonlight You See A Sight That Almost Stops Your Heart_  
_You Try To Scream But_,_ Terror Takes The Sound Before You Make It  
You Start To Freeze_,_ As Horror Looks You Right Between The Eyes_,  
_You're Paralyzed_  
'_Cause This Is Thriller_, _Thriller Night_  
_And No One's Gonna Save You From The Beast About_ _Strike_  
_You Know It's Thriller_, _Thriller Night_  
_You're Fighting For Your Life Inside A Killer_, _Thriller_  
_Tonight_—_  
_  
I shuddered at the thought. That would definitely turn out badly. I wasn't about to put that theory to the test, but I wasn't being given much choice.

_That's why you should stop running_, _Jared_! my Dad encouraged through his thoughts. _Let's avoid the _"_Thriller_" _scene_.

Another thing to hate about not being completely human anymore. My thoughts weren't my own anymore. My Dad was chasing me through the forest, trying to drag me back home, and I couldn't have a second of thought to myself. Parents were annoying enough when they weren't reading your mind.

_Jared_, _I swear_, _if you don't stop running right now_, _I will_...Mom cut off her threat, thinking that she didn't need to finish it to intimidate me. She was wrong. She couldn't stop me now. I had no intention of going back — not today at least.

Friday. Today was Friday and Stephanie was leaving.

_Who the hell is Stephanie_? Mom asked.

Before she could read through my thoughts I changed back. It was a little discomforting, standing naked in the woods, but it was better than my mother finding out about my imprint, and how I was in love with a girl who (apparently) looked a lot like my Dad's old flame. Now, her threats were empty most of the time, but, when it came to Bella Swan, the very mention of her name either meant a beating a big grounding. Considering I just found out she was a werewolf, the threats would be less empty now that she could punish me by other means...which I didn't want to think about.

I didn't know how close they were, but they had to be getting closer. I wanted to outrun them, but how to do that without cluing them into Stephanie? — or worse, the return of Bella? — the return of the girl who my mother seemed to hate more than anything?

I changed back, and was immediately pounded with questions.

_Jared_, _why did you do that_?  
_Who is Stephanie_?  
_Stop running_!  
_Isn't she that girl from the airport_?  
_Is she_, _Jared_? _I swear_, _if you_—

1 + 1 2. 2 + 2 4. 4 + 4 8. 8 + 8 16. 16 + 16 32. 32 + 32 64. 64 + 64 128. 128 + 128 236. And so on. That was how I blocked out their questions. It got boring after a while, and my mind drifted, and the questions began again.

_Jared_, _why won't you talk to us_?  
_Why are you still running_? _I've warned you three times now_!  
_Will you listen to your mother_?  
_Don't make me warn you again_! _Four times_! _Are you listening_?  
_Jared_, _do you need more time_, _son_?  
_Stop sound so old_—_Jared_, _you do as we say NOW_!  
_Who is that girl_?  
_Damn it_! _Answer the question_!  
_Will you please stop blocking us out_?

Cuckoo barrow sits in the old gum tree, merry, merry, much is he.  
Cuckoo barrow sits, cuckoo barrow sits in the old gum tree...

_Cut out that annoying song_!  
_You're very good at that_, _Jared_.  
_Just tell us who that girl is_!

Nope.

_You're ridiculous_! _You need to get your butt home this instant_!

It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world...

_If you don't cut that stupid song out of your head, I will ground you for life, young man!_

Anything but that! Not grounded for life! Oh well. It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all...

_Jacob_, _you handle this_. _I'm going home_—_AND YOU BETTER BE THERE IN AN HOUR OR ELSE_!

Ha, ha. Victory.

_Your mother's gone now_.

I know.

_So won't you tell me_?

I...

What was I supposed to say? "Hey, Dad, I imprinted on the girl from the airport, the one you didn't seem to like very much," wouldn't work too good. My only hope was to block him out forever. That would be exhausting. Maybe he would understand? He had imprinted on Mom after all, and she had imprinted on him...maybe he would understand? After all, if anyone could understand falling for someone without any choice, it would be Jacob Black. (Who would choose to fall for someone as crazy and bad-tempered as Mom?)

I let go. I let my thoughts roam free and whatever questions he asked, I allowed them to be answered. Whatever images flashes through my mind I wouldn't hold back. As long as he kept at least _most_ of it from Mom I might live to see another day.

_So_, _who is Stephanie_?

* * *

**Somewhere, between limbo and the real world...**

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Why didn't I have a real clock? It would be easier to keep track of the time that way. It was annoying not knowing how much time was passing. I didn't know if it was seconds, minutes, or years...How much time was passing while I was locked inside myself? I hoped it was seconds.

What little bits I could pick up from what Bella was thinking or hearing wasn't enough to inform me of what was happening. I knew she had been talking to Edward, and she had mentioned my name, but I had lost whatever had come after something about falling and Edward saying "I did, Bella."

There was such an interesting tone to his voice that my mind (/soul/plasmic-ooze/ghost) was occupied by deciphering the hidden meaning behind it. I wanted to believe that it was because he felt some guilt for shutting me up in here or, better, that he had, at least in some small way, actually loved me. A nice thought, but there was more to the tone. He felt guilty, that was certain. But was his guilt for me? Or was it for betraying Bella? I had promised him, I had tried to keep him from betraying Bella, but I had been so in love with him that I was blinded by my own selfish instincts. I shouldn't have kissed him. I shouldn't have gone near him. I should have buried myself in a hole and died right there. (Except then Bella wouldn't have had a chance to make her grand re-entrance.)

What was done was done. If Edward was feeling guilty, then, too bad.

That hurt a lot to think that. Poor Edward! How could I have done that to him? If he was in some horrible, gut-twisting, guilt-tripping situation, it was all my fault. Bella, whatever you do, you better not hurt him in any way or I will murder you...somehow...from within...

Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to hate her anymore. There was a glitch inside me. Hate was no longer possible. I felt like crying, but no tears would come to me. I stopped fighting. I had no will to bang against the black surfaces surrounding me. Why had I left to fight for? There was nothing of my own leftover. Edward belonged to Bella, always had, always would. There was no keeping Juliet from her Romeo. Even Paris had tried and failed. And I was only dear Romeo's sweet Rosalind, doomed to join the convent and never fall for someone who truly loved her. Which, in a word, sucked. Romeo had loved Rosalind, thought her beauty incomparable — but then comes Juliet and there's no going back.

Stupid Rosalind. What had she been doing? Who would give up Romeo for a convent? I certainly didn't want that. But, then, who was my Romeo? Who was my Superman? My bumble bee? My moon, stars, and sky? My sun? The butter for my popcorn? The snow in my winter? The air for my world? I wanted a someone who I could talk about with cheesy metaphors and funny nicknames or simple hand squeezes here and there, and maybe a kiss ot two in the rain...Edward was taken. Edward had his Bella so...who would be my Edward Cullen now?

It was no use. I couldn't have a someone if I wasn't a someone myself. Who the hell was Stephanie? She was locked inside herself, mourning her love of Edward while still trying to get over the death of her sister, not to mention feeling guilty over being so mean to Jared. I was a nobody! So, it seemed only fair that I would have nobody. I had lost Edward Cullen. I had to face that. I was still so pathetic, half hoping that Issie, my sweet little sister, would come visit me, give me some strength while I was alone in the dark.

I had been afraid of the dark when I was young. Issie had never been, and it annoyed her that (since we shared a room) I had to have a nightlight (pathetic, I know). She had complained for a long time when, one morning, she was very quiet. I hadn't understood then, when she pulled me aside after breakfast, what she had meant about my dream being frightening. I had been talking in my sleep (this was before I met the sleep-doctor, before Renee introduced us, I guess) and I had talked a lot about how horrible my dream was. Issie said she understood why I was so afraid, and promised that no one was going to hurt me. She was brave enough to fight them off, and she promised that I could take care of myself if I needed to. Being the older sister, I was entirely offended that she would protect me. I should be protecting her! But, I took her up on her offer.

Issie tried every night, turning the nightlight off for a little longer, without our parents knowledge. Issie would lay next to me in the dark and tell me about her good dreams, and why the monsters from my dreams were impossible. She said over and over again that I wouldn't be left bleeding that night — she would sooner die than let them lay a single scratch on me. And, eventually, it worked. More and more often I had been able to sleep without a light in the room, and soon Issie could simply say goodnight to me and I would fall fast asleep.

After she died, I found it hard to sleep in the dark again. I would make sure Phil and Renee were asleep, and then turn a light on. I woke up early, never finding myself in a peaceful sleep, and turned the light off before my parents would notice. I only stopped being afraid of the dark after I had met Edward in the graveyard. I had peaceful nights, full sleeps, and lack of light never bothered me — until now.

I was very afraid now. I curled up as best as I could inside the tight-fitted coffin. I thought of nothing, and dreamed of my escape only when I could hear Edward's voice again. I could breathe when I could hear him, but I never relaxed. He wasn't mine anymore, so he wasn't my protector. I had lost my one true protector two years ago, and she wasn't coming back. Bella Swan made sure of that. If Issie hadn't started having memories, just as I had, she would be alive.

Come to think of it, I would be alive if I hadn't had Bella's memories embedded into my brain.

* * *

**Later, at the Uley House...**

"I can't take this anymore!" Leah bawled. "Those stupid leeches ruin every thing!"

I held out another tissue and tried not to let it show that I thought she was going nuts — again.

"Em, I think — I think Jared may not come back!" Leah sobbed, blowing her nose in between words.

"Sure he will, honey," I said. "Remember Jacob ran away to. It's in his blood. He'll be back before you know it."

Leah paused, and smiled thankfully at me. "You really think so, Emily?"

"I know so," I assured her.

"You've been wonderful, Em," Leah simpered. "Is there anyway I can repay you? I've just about used up all of your tissues."

I couldn't argue with her there...but I wasn't going to say that. She was going through a lot. Jared was off, running in the forest in his wolf form while Jacob was chasing him around. And, I could never put it from my mind that her second child was stillborn. Leah was also the only female werewolf. She needed support. I would never be mean to her — even though she got mad at everyone; even though she told her husband and her son never to come over for my cooking again.

"You know what you can do for me?" I said cheerily.

She stiffened. Obviously she hadn't thought I would take her up on her offer. "What?"

"Sam is going to be home with the kids in less than an hour and I have a lot of cooking to do," I started, rising from the kitchen chair and heading over to the stove. "I could use some held in the kitchen." I paused to see Leah sitting, unmoving, at the kitchen table. "If you don't mind, that is."

She looked up at me, completely stunned. "You want _me_ to _cook_?"

"Yes, come help me, it will be a great way to cheer you up," I encouraged. "Cooking always help cheer me up, anyways."

"But, I'm a terrible cook," she frowned. "You know that."

I laughed. She took that as mockery. Her frown deepened, and she looked down at her feet, ashamed of her faulty — and sometimes hazardous — cooking skills. I sighed and tired to come up with a way to console her. I pulled out pots while Leah remained stationary at the table.

"Leah, I've heard Jacob say that you make the best lasagna," I lied. "Is that true?"

She shrugged. "It's the only thing I can make without burning it."

I clapped my hands together and grinned widely at her. Her head snapped up and she flinched with surprise at my reaction.

"Leah! You know, that's exactly what I was making tonight! You're skills are needed!" I cheered. (She looked reluctant.) "To be honest, it's Sam's favourite dish, and I'm not very good at it," I lied (again).

It worked. My well-told lie worked. Leah had always reacted strangely whenever Sam was mentioned — she had never truly gotten over him. That made me feel so guilty, and it hurt Sam too. But, he had imprinted on me, and, frankly, I was madly in love with him. Whatever guilt I felt — what guilt we both felt — my feelings for my husband were unshakable.

Leah helped cook, and, surprisingly, she was actually good. Not only did she not burn the lasagna, but she also added an interesting flavor, which tasted wonderful.

"It's Angelica's birthday today — she's turning eleven — and it's her favourite dish too," I added conversationally, once the lasagna was cooling and the kitchen clean-up was finished.

"Really? And Frankie is sixteen right?" Leah recalled.

"Yep. I can't believe my oldest is almost all grown up!"

"Jared is sixteen," Leah mumbled.

"Yes," I said, feeling a little saddened that she, once again, insisted on talking about her own life. "It's too bad Frankie and Jared can't be friends."

"Jared doesn't hang around too many girls," Leah excused.

"No. He doesn't," I agreed glumly.

I yawned. Talking to Leah always tired me out. It hadn't always been that way, but, ever since Sam's imprint...things had never been the same.

"So, wasn't the plan to confront the Cullens supposed to be put into action today?" I asked, politely breaching a subject that I knew would keep Leah entertained.

"Yes, we were supposed to do that today," Leah groaned. "But my dumb ass son!"

I stifled a laugh. How could Leah be so rude to her son, and so openly? Poor Jacob. How could he bear to live with her?

"Those leeches ruined every thing," Leah moaned, hiding her face in her hands. "Jared's a werewolf now. I didn't want this for him!"

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Leah," I consoled, laying a hand on her shoulder. "I know how big a change this is for you, and how difficult this must make your relationship with Jared. You told me that he was already drifting away before this. I hope this will make your tie stronger instead of straining it."

She nodded, but remained mute.

"Hey, cheer up," I grinned, embracing Leah in a soft hug. "Every thing will turn out fine."

"No it won't," she mumbled. "He's imprinted."

"What?" I gasped, taking a step backward to examine Leah's distraught expression. "Really? With who?"

"I don't know," Leah sobbed. Her lower lip trembled and her dark hair fell in her eyes. "I just know that he has. Jared was blocking us, trying not to think about her, so, so, I don't know!"

She threw her arms around me and began sobbing into my shoulder. I looked at the clock. It was almost suppertime. The kids would be home in less than ten minutes for Angelica's big birthday surprise and they would find Leah crying instead.

"Oh, boy," I sighed. _Here we go again_.

* * *

It was difficult, the waiting. I accidentally sifted through memories I didn't want to on numerous occasions. Sometimes the memory was mine, sometimes...it wasn't...

_"What if I'm not the superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" He smiled playfully, but his eyes were impenetrable.  
"Oh," I said, as several things he'd hinted fell suddenly into place. "I see."  
"Do you?" His face was abruptly sevre, as if were afraid he'd accidentally said too much.  
"You're dangerous?" I guessed, my pulse quickening as I intuitively realized the truth of my own words. He _was_ dangerous. He'd been trying to tell me that all along.  
He just looked at me, eyes full of some emotion I couldn't comprehend.  
"But not bad," I whispered, shaking my head. "No, I don't believe you're bad."  
"You're wrong."_

How truthful those words were. He was dangerous, because it hurt to leave him, and to think of him. He wasn't dangerous because he could snap someone's arm like a twig, he was dangerous because of the influence he had. Bella knew that influence, and she had nearly died from the pain of his sudden disappearance. And now, I was feeling that same pain first hand.

It was nothing like how her memory had it memorized. No, the memory had only hinted at it, and my dreams had only displayed a part of it. The real thing was much worse. If staying trapped didn't kill me, then this pain would. Having no one at all was...dangerous.

* * *

**Back at the Cullen House...**

"You're not going to answer," I mumbled. I closed my eyes and tried to block the tears from coming to my eyes.

"Bella, please, don't cry," Edward pleaded. He took my face gently in his hands and I had to open my eyes, to see how close he was. He wasn't very close.

"So? You kissed her?" I prompted.

"At first, she reminded me a lot of you, and I couldn't help wanting to be around her," he answered solemnly. "But, yes, Bella. I kissed her. And I'm sorry. I think I might truly love her."

Okay. Now I didn't feel so guilty about leaving Stephanie trapped — still guilty, just less.

"I knew it," I whimpered. "This is all my fault."

"You're fault?" He was surprised. "Bella, I hardly see how this is your fault."

"I shouldn't have died," I explained.

His eyes drained and his tone becoming unbearably self-loathing. "No, that's my fault."

"It isn't your fault I died!" I protested. "That's Jane and her stupid plan"—I cut off, and a question popped into my mind. "How did you get rid of them anyways?"

"You don't want to hear," he warned.

"Tell me."

* * *

**Meanwhile...  
**

This was getting difficult. Frustrating. And not to mention I had Edward riding my back. Why did he have such an infidel?

"Alice, anything?" Jasper asked.

I sighed. "Nothing."

"Hey, it's alright," he consoled, leaning closely to caress my cheek softly. I pulled away.

He pouted, worried for me. He knew I put too much pressure on myself when it came to helping out Edward and Bella — or anyone in our family. I pushed myself too hard. I knew it. Edward knew it too, but he still pushed harder. He didn't like the idea of risking Bella's death again. I didn't like it either, but...Stephanie...

"Alice, please," Jasper pleaded, smiling sweetly at me, though it didn't touch his eyes.

"Give me a minute," I said, grinning weakly at him, my eyes unfocused, even as I looked at him.

"You've been saying that for the passed twelve hours," he grunted.

"Well, I mean it this time!" I assured him. I jumped up from the bed and began pacing the room. "It'll come to me. I just need to be patient."

"Alice," Jasper groaned, standing and hooking my around the waist to stop my pacing. "You can't force your visions to come."

"I know," I agreed. "But it's fun to try!"

He frowned at me disapprovingly. I kept smiling, though the smile was empty, and he could tell. Jasper could read me better than anyone. Edward may be able to read my mind, but Jasper could read my heart.

"I do get what you are saying," I sighed. "I know nothing will happen if I try to force it, but I can't help wanting to do something! I can't just sit here doing nothing..."

Jasper leaned down and kissed the corner of my lip. His thumb rested at the nape of my neck and he rubbed soothing circles there, and his other hand remained on my waist.

"Bella is back," he reminded me. "If the risk is too great, then she can stay as she is until you find proper confirmation about what is to be done. Stephanie isn't going anywhere." He paused. "So what's wrong?"

"This isn't fair to Stephanie," I explained. "I wanted Bella back, and now she is, but I didn't want someone else's life to be a sacrifice for this to happen!"

"You're right. It isn't fair," he agreed. "But this is the way it is. There's no going back. We have only to move forward, and there is s solution there. You saw it already. And that future is certain. It hasn't changed, right?"

"No, it hasn't changed. But what if it does? What to I do if it changes? What if I mess up and cause us to wait to long?" I blabbed, going through every scenario in my head, none of them changing my vision. "I can't let Stephanie or Bella suffer. I have to find a way to fix this."

"This isn't your responsibility," Jasper argued, leaning close enough to kiss me (which was horribly tempting).

"I feel it is," I growled. "And until this gets fixed, I have no time to be distracted!"

I brushed him off and scampered over to the other side of the bed. I may have been fast enough to race away from Jasper, and I may be able to see the future, but I wasn't expecting him to try and distract me again. He wasn't as fast as me, or even Edward, but he was fast. And he was stronger than me. So, he took advantage of me. He grabbed my wrists and spun my around and kissed me passionately — on my lips, of course. He stopped suddenly and leaned far enough away for me to see his face.

"Please let me distract you?" he pleaded, his eyes dancing with the thought of what kind of distraction he could come up with.

I had to admit, I was bored of focusing for so long, and he was right, the visions weren't coming. They were being blocked by something (hopefully not werewolves again!), so there was nothing I could do. And I really, _really _wanted to be distracted. Edward and Bella-inside-Steph's-body were taking advantage of distraction time, so didn't I deserve some distraction time of my own? Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

"Only a little," I whispered chipperly.

He held me close and kissed me softly on the lips — delicately — exactly the way I liked it. Jasper and I didn't have usual kind of "distraction" time that other couples (human and non-human) had. For example, Edward's display of affection when she suddenly woke up inside Stephanie. I preferred a deeper connection, not just kisses and such. I liked when Jasper looked at me, when he held me. (Kisses are great, don't get me wrong.) Rosalie and Emmett were certainly our opposites. They had to repair their rooms every so often from how much bounding around they did. We definitely we made for each other.

So, what he was doing now was completely different. This wasn't quite "delicate," but, it was still exhilerating and cute and made every inch of me, inside and out, entirely happy. It always made me a little sad — when Japser became this passionate — that my hair wasn't longer. I wished he could feel his fingers through my hair...like what happened in really mushy movies! But no. I had been in the looney-bin and they had shaved my hair off so now it was only black spikes. Oh, well. Sigh and move on.

A smile was plastered on my face in a short while, and my designer blouse was tossed (delicately! It is designer after all!) onto the floor. My left hand never left his shoulder and my right hand never left his face. Thank goodness we were vampires who didn't need to breathe, or else the way he kissed me (and the way I kissed him back!) would have been impossible.

And that's when it happened.

I released a gasp and then shot up — eyes wide, mouth popped open — and supported my weight on my arms.

"What do you see?" he asked.

"I see...I see...," I gasped. "I see dead people."

I snapped myself back into reality, and was thankful that Jasper had, once again, waited calmly for what I had seen.

"I think I know what to do now," I chirped.

"And this involves dead people, how?" he mused, smiling wickedly at me.

"You've seen the _Thriller_ music video, right?" I grinned.

"Yes."

"I thought so," I giggled. "Well, think that, only less zombies, some vampires, and no Michael Jackson."

"Dancing included?"

"Oh, absolutely," I laughed, leaping off the bed and grabbing my blouse and (delicately) putting it back on. "We'll all want to do the happy dance by the time I get through!"

* * *

**I'm sorry that this is sort of a filler. I tied up a few loose ends though! Now we know what the wolves are up to, right? That's always good.**

**I am sorry if I got Alice all wrong, and Jasper too. But, even if I did get her all wrong, I think I might write in her point of view again. I want to take a turn with all of the Cullen/Hale characters, to explore what they think about the whole mess. And yes, that means Edward too! I think he's up next chapter...But no more Emily. (Hopefully I didn't mess her character up either!)**

**Chapter 16 was kind of what I thought of as the climax, but, now, I decided it's not. Digging up Bella's corpse is a far better climax!**

**Dare I say, REVIEW again? Yes. I will. I did. So, review. Please and Thank You.**

**I shall try and update soon, but I have plans that make me busy all tomorrow and I'm going to a movie preview Wednesday, and I have homework to do...so...I'll see what I can do.**


	18. Chapter 18: IS and Is

"Hello?" I called. "Can you hear me?"

"No," Stephanie growled. "Go away."

Relief washed over me. She was alright. I had been so worried when...

"Are you gone yet?" she asked.

"No," I answered. "And I promise you that I'm not leaving. Not yet."

I heard mumblings in a tired an angry tone. I stepped forward, blind in low lights, and slowly stumbled toward the sound of Stephanie's unhappy voice.

It was so strange. When I had first escaped from the same coffin that Stephanie was now in, this place had been all white. The lighting was bright, almost blinding from bright it was. Right now, however, it was dark. There were shadows everywhere. The little light there was could only be compared to an old oil lantern, just a blurred glow of yellowish-orange light peeking through the blackness. I would have continued to stumble forward blindly if my knees hadn't knocked into the coffin at that point.

"Please, let me be, Bella," she begged. "I want to rot away in peace. If you keep bugging me, I'll rot away in pieces. Not fun. And who knows who get stuck with cleaning up that mess. Just hope it's not Renee or Phil. They wouldn't be happy."

"I just want to hear one more thing," I explained, "then I'll leave you alone."

"Until we meet for real, face to face, in the physical world instead of inside my head, right?" she laughed. I could hear the hope in her voice was beginning to fade again, just as it had the first time I had shown up here in my dreams.

"I promised to get you out, to free you, and to give your body back," I reminded her. "I'm not going back on those promises."

"Even though you know now that Edward loved me?"

I couldn't answer. I waited for her to continue speaking.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, sounding completely sincere. "That wasn't nice. What I should have said is 'even though there's a chance we both might die'?"

"Alice already saw—"

"Bella," she interrupted, her voice strong and commanding again. "If they have to make a choice, if it means you over me, if it means I stay stuck up here and you live, I want them to pick that choice. I want Edward to make sure you live." She paused, but not long enough to allow me to protest. "I want _you_ to promise me. That's what you have to do, got it, Is?"

I nodded my head.

She sighed. "Thank you, Isabella."

"Now, I want to hear the rest," I said. And I settled onto the floor, legs crossed and ready to listen.

"I don't see why you want to hear my whole life story," Stephanie groaned. "It's _really_ dull."

"You were about to tell me how you met Edward," I reminded her. "I woke up before you got to that part. I want to hear that now."

She sighed again, but with less reluctance and annoyance. I knew telling her story was doing her some good; it was relieving her of some of the stress and fear of what was to come for her.

"I was on my way to the Forks Cemetery..."

* * *

**Chapter 18: IS and Is -- Is there a difference?  
**

"So, you killed them because you had better skill," I summarized. "Who would have guessed they were newborns? I couldn't tell."

"Jane had trained them well enough," Edward agreed. "But, nonetheless, we killed them."

Edward seemed to be enjoying the memory more than I would have liked. Sure, avenging my death (although, here I was, alive) was noble and would provide some release of anger, but I still didn't support revenge. It was a little too dark a concept for me.

"But, back to a more important topic," I frowned.

The very air tensed. Edward was motionless, and, for the first time, I truly noticed the distance he kept between us. Obviously, when I had first 'woke up' in Stephanie's body, he had been more than close to me, but, right now, we were apart. The eighteen years spent apart was eons; the space between us was endless. His hold on my hand was light; the contact showed that he understood maybe even as much as I did that it wasn't right for me to be living in the place of her — it showed that he knew exactly what we were about to talk about.

"Stephanie," I said, confirming both our fears and anxieties.

I watched my perfect stone angel for a long time, hoping he would say something that would cancel out whatever he had felt or done for the sake of Stephanie Dwyer...my apparent half-sister. However, no words were spoken, no cancellations made, and no rejections to my obvious accusation.

"Bella, please don't cry," Edward begged softly, his thumb brushing away the tears that had begun to flood my cheeks.

"I'm not crying," I argued stupidly. I leaned away from him and angrily wiped the traitor tears off my face. How was I suppose to hold it all together when my pain was leaking out my eyes?

"Bella, please, don't deny any unpleasantries on my account. I know you to be selfless and stubborn, but that doesn't mean that you can't tell me that I haven't hurt you," he said, "...again."

I shot my head up — for I head begun to hang it in shame at how well he could read my stubbornness to admit my hurt and my apparent selflessness because I didn't want my pain to end up hurting him — and found my hand to be lifeless in his, and my whole body unresponsive. I didn't know what to say or do; I only stared at him, wide-eyed and unthinking. I was acting completely moronic.

Correction: I was completely moronic. My lack of speech was serving as proof to his claims. I didn't want that. And I didn't want the guilt he was dragging up for himself. He was bringing up leaving me, not saving me, and now, the one that was worse than all his other less perfect actions, his kisses in my absence.

"Don't say 'again', Edward," I whispered, emotionless, trying to say anything, even if it sounded less enthusiastic than I had wanted. "Whatever things you think you've done in the past, forget it. I don't want to hear about it." I paused, seeing a spark of the Edward I loved once again, and remembering the feeling of loving him. Emotion flooded back into my voice, and at first, I was angry. "You left me because you wanted to protect me, and just because I died doesn't automatically make it your fault. It just happened. I'm here now, and if you don't stop guilt-tripping yourself I may not let Alice work her voodoo to save me. I'll hide inside Stephanie for the next eighteen years or so. So, wisen up."

"Bella—"

"Nope!" I shouted, cutting him off. I jerked away from him, hands in the air and voice steady and back to my normal self (other than having Stephanie's barely, but slightly, lower voice). All the differences between us became clearer now that I had actually seen what she looked like, and could hear what she sounded like, and her tendencies took over occasionally and I felt more and more of an urge to kiss Edward with every moment — or was that my tendency?

"Edward," I continued (mind not so distracted by comparing me and her anymore). "Whatever. I want to hear about one thing. That's it. You're not guilty for anything else. Just tell me about what happened between you and Stephanie, and"—my voice cracked—"how you feel about her."

I could hear him breathe again (a good sign, meaning he was calmer). I waited. I remained focus and cleared my mind of all thoughts. I wanted to let him see that I had no conviction yet (although, I sort of already did) and that I only wanted to hear, not to judge. Even though he was no mind reader (when it came to me), he clearly read past my bad acting skills. He stared at me, hurt in his eyes, and I prepared to hear a string of apologies and Edward's usually reasons why he was a monster or something and I also prepared to tell him how wonderful he was and how he wasn't a monster (a vampire, yes, but not a monster). However, I was shocked to find that that was not what I got.

"When you died, Bella, I wanted to die everyday, but I couldn't," he said. It was so blunt, I flinched. "But I promised you, so I wouldn't do anything that would break that promise to you," he continued, face showing no emotion but only the face of someone enthralled in a sad and brutal story. "Seconds passing are longer when your reason for being is gone. I was going to exist forever and you weren't. Obviously enough, I fell into despair. And, as much as I hate to admit all this to you, it hurt even more to lose you this time than when you went cliff-diving and I thought you were dead." He paused, as if keeping so detached from the story was more painful than reacting to it. "I watched you die, Bella." His voice was lower, and he was attached fully to the story now, and I remembered the look in his eyes from when I had lay dying in his arms. "Whatever pains there are in this world, whatever I have yet to experience or will never experience, this is the worst."

My eyes drifted away of their own accord. I closed my eyes. I couldn't see any of Stephanie's memories. Well, some, but not in the way she could see my life. I couldn't call them to me, and they didn't come at random as Is has described to me. I saw few things, and not often. It was rare, but, right now, I could recall Edward's face, the first time that Stephanie saw him with her own eyes, standing over my grave. His eyes had been empty of all hope, of all trust, and, as he said, fully in despair. I shuddered at the image. I couldn't looked up, but I could open my eyes. I stared at my empty hands and waited for the rest of Edward's already agonizing tale.

Then, something about what he had said caught my attention. Edward's grammar was flawless. Edward's speech was flawless. He couldn't be wrong in what he said, so...why was my death used in the context of 'is' instead of 'was'?

"You're still dead," he said, bitterness barely hidden in his cold velvet voice. "If you don't go along with, as you put it, Alice's 'voodoo', you will still be dead. I won't allow that." He paused. "Promise me that you won't let yourself die again, Bella," he begged. "Promise me you'll do everything you can the ensure that you live. If not for yourself, then, please for me. For Alice, too. For your family, Bella. We've all missed you."

"Alright." I sighed. "Just tell me the rest and you have my word that I will do anything and every thing to live."

"Thank you." He took my hand in his, and I felt comfort in his nearness. "I won't tell you what I did in the first sixteen years of your death, for I did nothing at all. It is only in these last two years that I've had any last spark of life in me at all."

I was about to start wondering why I had come back at all when he had a life again suddenly when I realized something strange again about his account.

"Sixteen years?" I asked, horribly confused. "I thought...when did you meet Stephanie?"

"Two years ago," he answered promptly. I could see his eyes carefully watching my face go from confused to stunned.

"Wow," I mumbled. "I didn't know...I thought...But, two years. I should have known that I had woken up too late."

"Not too late, love. It is never too late," he assured me, taking my two hands into his firm grasp and tilting my chin up in his gentle, but undeniably strong, touch, so that I had to look into his deep, smoldering, dark gold eyes.

Even in my memories, his eyes never held that power over me. I had forgotten in death, the power he held over me, and the longing I felt for him. I had remembered love, and how delicious he kisses were and how gentle his touch was. His eyes though, those I could never quite get right.

"Shall I continue?" he asked, reluctant to continue.

I nodded my head, but could say nothing. I managed to keep my expression strong and my face showed nothing. Whatever combination of emotions my eyes revealed — most likely determination and desire or anger and sadness — was beyond me and my control.

"She was coming to see her sister, also named Isabella, as I am sure you already know." He paused, and waited until I nodded my head. "We barely spoke, but we did speak. I hadn't spoken in so long...I had been afraid I would have forgotten all words. I spoke though, and clearly, she understood me."

Clearly, she understood me. Not just the language. She had understood _him_. Right away. Without the slightest hesitation she was totally clued in. Whether she was shocked by his angelic appearance as I was or grace with which he moved or how he spoke, she hadn't gawked at how someone like him would talk to her. Whatever thoughts had gone through my half-sister's mind were impossible to guess at. But this I knew for certain, she had seen how hurt I had made him and she probably wanted to do something to get that horrible emptiness out of his eyes. I know, even simply seeing the memory of his dead eyes, I wanted to reach out to him and hold him, kiss him, love him until he promised me that he was happy again, that he forgave me.

"She said something only you would know in a way that only you would say it," he explained — reminding me again what close attention he paid to me. "It startled me. I left Forks, and Alice sent herself after me, seeing my distress. It was two years later that I met Stephanie again. She looked even more like you, and she said more things that you would know and I wondered at first if you had really died or if it was your ghost haunting me for not saving you in time."

"I wouldn't do that," I scowled.

He smiled. It didn't touch his eyes, but it was his wonderful crooked smile, and that made my scowl vanish. (No smile, but no frown either.)

"I suppose not," he agreed. "Clearly, I gave up that theory. Before I departed that day I gave up that theory. I wanted to believe she had some connection to you, other than being simply your blood relative. That's the only reason I met her again. I was so angry at her claims and her words and how she reminded me of you...but you were gone. I didn't want to be reminded of you because of some silly girl with a confused identity. I wanted to remember you because I love you."

My breath caught, my heart bounced in my chest, and then I settled. My hands still in his gentle hold, and his fingers touching my face delicately.

"But she promised me hope," he sighed, and the distance between us came again. "How willing I was to accept hope! I had no clue as to where her promise would lead." He shook his head, and his hand slipped from my face. "It lead me here, which, in so many ways, is indescribably miraculous. In others...I'm not sure what here is."

Stephanie trapped inside her own body. Me the living dead — a zombie more or less. Alice fuming over how to solve my undead dead issue. Edward and Stephanie. Here was, as Edward said it, unsure. Whatever or wherever _this_ was, it was like nothing I had ever faced before. I had never walked away from death before and I was worried about how this was going to end up.

"Bella, I'm not sorry that I listened to her promise," he told me. There was no apology in his voice. "I found you because she gave me hope again. Seeing a hint of you brought back to me some life in me that had died with you. I wanted merely to be her friend, Bella, I swear. I never had the intention of betraying you like I did." His hand released my hands, as if he was even to ashamed to touch me. "But I did betray you, Bella. For that, I am sincerely sorry. If there was some way to undo all the damage I have caused you, I would take whatever risks came with it."

"I know you would," I sighed, closing my eyes and feeling more uncertain that ever before in my life/death. "I would do the same for you, Edward, without thinking. You didn't betray me." I opened my eyes. "And, if you did, then I betrayed you long before you betrayed me."

"Bella, in what possible way could you have done anything significant to be considered a betrayal?" Edward questioned, his eyes doubtful, and forgetting the obvious.

"Jacob," I said simply.

His eyes darkened, and I saw the sorrow in his eyes. Clearly, we were thinking the same thing now. We were thinking that neither of us was very good at the true love thing. Sure, the love part was fine. It was the distractions, ups and downs, other people, enemies, and events in between. Both of our great mistakes was caused by the absence of the other; both of our hearts seemed to become too fragile to function on their own once the other was gone. I had opened myself for Jacob, and Edward had been so despaired that Stephanie was the only chance for him to hope again. I suddenly felt no pain in Edward's feelings, however slight or significant they were. In a way, (if it were possible for vampires to die that easily,) she had saved his life.

"Edward, tell me you love me," I said in a whisper.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered back, in a voice that was soft, apologetic, and seductive all at once. "More than anyone."

"Edward," I said, eyes and open and head directly facing him. "I love you. I have always loved you and forever, or however long we exist, I will love only you. I promise. I promise to give you hope too, if ever you need it." I pecked his cheek gently with my lips and then leaned backward to smile at him, to tell him with a smile all that I couldn't with words. I wanted him to see that, although not completely yet, I was forgiving him.

"Forever," he agreed, taking my hands in his again, the grasp stronger now. "Bella, I swear, there is no force — whether it be heaven bound, hell bound, or earthly — that can take you from me again." He paused, and his eyes, once again, smoldered. "Unless you find at any point that you cannot forgive me or live with me. I will still protect you and love you and keep you alive. But I won't force my presence on you."

"Please, force you presence on me," I pleaded smilingly. "I can't be happy without you, Edward. You have to know that by now."

He drew closer, and, his eyes never ceasing their seductive stare, he stopped for a second with his face barely an inch away from mine. "Nor I without you," he whispered, his lips now finding the corner of my lips. I shut my eyes and I could tell that he loved me. There was no room for doubt when my heart with bursting with rejoice because, even in my absence and my with the even of my death, his bond to me had only strengthened.

* * *

_If you really wanna know_  
_If he loves you so_,  
_It's in his kiss_...

How sad those lyrics seemed to me now. Sure, Cher was just singing a nice little song about "how do you know if he loves you so," but, when hearing the thoughts of Bella Swan (in my hi-jacked body) while she was lip-locked with Edward (in _my_hi-jacked body) the song took on a new meaning. It was yet another reminder that I had no hope at all. Boo to love! I had received nothing but heartbreak from it. (And a few tender kisses, sweet words and...that feeling of when someone looks at you and you know that they feel the same thing you are when you see them. Not that those things really counted.)

I had every right to be angry with Bella, but I wasn't. I had every right to be angry with Edward, but I wasn't. The only feeling inside me (besides knowing I was a complete idiot for believing in _feelings_ anymore) was astonishment. There were three main reasons behind that.

Reason one: Edward (had loved me, but) didn't have the intention of saying anything to me again once I escaped. I was sure of it. I might end up getting my life back, but that would be only after Bella had hers. When and if she did get to live again, I would go back to my leave-your-home-and-your-troubles-for-Jacksonville plan. If Bella hadn't of returned from the dead, I might have had a chance with Edward. That was almost devastating to think about. What could have been is always worse than what is. There was no "it can't get any worse" in real life.

Reason two: There was no "it can't get any worse" in real life. (Yes, I know I totally just thought that line twice.) As I had realized a long while ago, I was trapped in my own head. As I knew the second I felt that Bella would come back, I had lost any chance of Edward truly loving me. As was a result of my other losses, I had lost a chance at the family that Bella's memories had showed me. I had lost my sister long before that. I had lost a lot. But it could be worse. I could be really dead. Phil could have died too, because of the accident. And, if I hadn't tried to (forcefully) convince Edward to get to know me, to hope a little, he wouldn't have found Bella again — and I wouldn't have come to know him, with my own life, not just hers. Things could be worse. I had people who cared for me, if I did manage to get un-stuck inside myself. Maybe I would apologize to Jared...

Speak of the devil, Reason three: As I looked back upon my own memories of Forks, the obvious thing would be that I loved Edward and hadn't really been happy until he started talking to me (_me_, not Bella-me), but there was another time that had made me even happier. Scary, really. It was (as I had said) astonishing to realize. Jared — the way he looked at me and spoke to me, seeming to care about me so much, even though we barely knew each other — was the most wonderful person I had met in all of Forks. I had told him that we couldn't be friends. But, if — or when — I was free to live again, I would apologize. I would be his friend, even if I lived in Jacksonville or in Canada or in Japan. Wherever I was, I wanted a someone who cared what I was thinking. If he didn't hate me, I wanted Jared to still be my friend. (Because having only your parents care that you exist really isn't enough.)

Whatever happened, from this moment on, I would hold on in whichever way I could, just to live again. I could already hear Alice's plan, and it sounded like it just might work...

* * *

I dashed from the bedroom and (because I knew it would annoy Edward) didn't knock on the door before I bounded in.

"I figured it out!" I announced.

"Alice," Edward greeted, a little put out that I had interrupted his very passionate make-out session with Bella-in-Steph's-body.

"You did?" Bella was the sensible one, of course. She perked up and immediately detangled herself from inside Edward's arms and came over to me in one of the fastest human motions I had ever seen. "What is it, Alice?" she asked, both excited and scared. "What do we have to do?"

"I hadn't realized that the reason I couldn't see what we're supposed to do is because I can't see it," I cheered. Bella stared at me, not understanding. "Because it's _impossible_." She was still confused, but I could see Edward catching on.

"Werewolves," he realized. "You can't see because of werewolves."

"Yes!" I leaped forward and hugged him tightly for his wonderfully clever answer.

"But, Alice, I thought all futures disappeared when werewolves were involved, not just certain points in time," Bella-inside-Steph said.

"Oh, well, I found a way to get passed all that," I grinned impishly, and gave Bella a wink. "I'll explain it to you later. Just know that a certain wolf-boy was nice enough to come up with a new truce, since he was their leader and all. It worked out perfectly and now, I can see passed the blank spots!"

"Jacob," Bella mumbled quietly, more than a little stunned.

"So, now we have to wait," Edward said.

"Yep," I chimed, releasing Edward from my grip. "It will be tomorrow. That's when it will happen. They'll come tomorrow and we have to be ready to change Bella and Stephanie into vampires. The wolf and, or, wolves how up, we change the two bodies, and then, hopefully happily ever after!"

"Two bodies," Bella sighed. "But how will that switch us back? And isn't my body, you know"—she grimaced and then bite her lip, pausing for a second—"dead? Isn't that a problem with the whole change thing?"

"No," I answered simply. "I've already seen it happen. And it will. We just need a little wolf blood."

"Ah, that would work, wouldn't it?" Jasper said, startling Bella, who hadn't noticed him slip into the room.

"What would?" Bella asked; her heart was beating frantically. "Werewolf blood?"

"Bella, I think there is more I should tell you about what happened when you died, between us and them," Edward said, carefully catching her hands inside his as well as her fully attention (her heart beating faster now). "Do you want to hear it?"

She thought it over (or maybe her brain was temporarily broken, who knows — Oh, right, me. She would move in three...two..).

"Yes," she said. "Tell me."

"Now this, I've gotta hear," I giggled.

"But weren't you there?" Bella questioned.

"Yes, but it's more fun to hear a story than be part of it."

* * *

I prepared to listen, but my mind was so scattered. My death was enough for the werewolves and the vampires to make another temporary peace? I seemed to be the peace maker between wolves and vamps. First was Victoria (I shuddered at her memory) and her newborns. Then, my death. Now, this, I had to hear.

"Why would they make peace with you? Just because I died?" I asked.

"Yes, and no," Alice said. "It's because they wish they could have _prevented_ it."

"I didn't think they would feel so guilty..." Had I really known them that well? I felt that way about them (Clearwater, Uley, Black -- all of them), but I hadn't realized that they cared for me enough to feel guilt upon my untimely demise.

"You did invite most of them to your wedding, if I recall," Alice chimed. Then, she released a loud and overly-dramatic sigh. "I planned it out so well! Now I have to do it all over again." She giggled. "I can't wait! We can have this thing for real now!"

"Oh."

"Oh?" Alice questioned at my strange response. "That's all I get? 'Oh'? Not 'Oh, I can't wait,' or 'Oh, I'm so excited,'?"

"Sorry," I grinned apologetically. "I'm...just..."

I couldn't finish. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe again. It hurt to remember what had happened, what I had lost. Jane had ruined my wedding day. Jane had ruined my happily ever after, my forever with Edward, and that was something I couldn't get use to. If Jane hadn't come along and played murderess extraordinaire, I would be living a comfy (although thirsty) life with no worries about whose body I was in and whose life I was interrupting.

"You did kill Jane, didn't you?" I asked.

Nobody answered. I opened my eyes and did a sweep around the room. Edward's hand was still holding mine, but, now, he put his hand on my shoulder, comforting me. Alice looked away, both ashamed and flustered. Jasper was the only calm one.

"The Volturi stepped in," he said. "They preferred us not to kill Jane."

"They owe us now," Alice continued, giving Jasper a look that read 'thank you'. "Aro said so himself."

"He came here?" I gasped.

"No," Edward frowned, shaking his head. "He didn't. We went there."

"Edward demanded that they give Jane to us," Alice explained. "It wasn't fair that they protected her. She was a favourite of Aro, so, he kept her. He was very disappointed of course, but that wasn't enough. Marcus thought she did us a favor, but he did agree that we deserved some justice for our loss."

"In short, it's just as Alice said," Jasper said, narrowing his eyes, "they owe us."

"Okay," I mumbled. "I seem to have missed a lot."

"Don't worry! We'll catch you up!" Alice chirped. "Just don't go anywhere, okay?" Her voice was suddenly more serious, and quieter, not her usual perky self. "You have to stay safe at least until after tomorrow night. It won't matter then, because, tomorrow night, that's when we intend to have you make the change."

I gulped. Wow, tomorrow night. So soon?

"But you wanted to hear about the deal with the dogs, right?" Jasper recalled.

I nodded my head slowly. "Yes. I want to hear about that. Thank you, Jasper."

He shrugged.

"The arrangement was made at the funeral," Alice started. "It was lovely, Bella, I promise. I made it as wonderful as I could." She paused, and her face fell. "I can't tell you how awful it was to go straight from arranging your wedding to arranging your funeral."

I stepped closer and took Alice's hand. "Thank you, Alice, for that. I may not have seen it, but I'm sure it was lovely," I told her. "Now you can arrange an even better wedding. Less people, mind you, but is that alright?"

"Of course it is!" she cheered. "I was afraid you wouldn't let me throw you one! That's the best news I've heard in eighteen years."

"I'm glad." I smiled and turned back to Edward.

"He spoke to you at the funeral, didn't he?" I asked. Edward nodded; I was right. "What did he say?" I paused (this was going to be tricky). "What did Jacob say?"

"It was because they were coming," Edward said. "He felt that it was his pack that were responsible because they blocked Alice from seeing what you were about to do, and what Jane had been planning."

"That's why Alice didn't see," I realized. "I thought I was being sneaky. I guess not."

Edward smiled crookedly (my heart galloped like mad), but his eyes were dark with the memory of what happened. "Bella, it's because you weren't sneaky that Alice was able to induce where you had gone."

"I'm glad you came," I said solemnly. "I was...very, very afraid." I paused. (It was hard to remember, especially knowing the awful outcome.) "Until you came," I smiled, looking directly into Edward's eyes. "I was afraid for you, but not for me. And then"--I faced Alice and Jasper--"when the rest of you showed up, I wasn't afraid--at all. I knew every thing was going to be alright...in the end..."

"But it wasn't," Edward murmured, his eyes duller than I had ever seen them. "You died, Bella."

I flinched at the word. He had said it before, and I had known it before. But this time, the awful truth was unbearable. With his eyes dark, dull, and unreadable, entirely drained of emotion, it hurt all the worse. I could see the flicker of hope, from seeing me alive, still buried deep in his eyes, but it was too deep to hide the infliction. I had died, and Edward would never forget that. He would never forget the loss, and he would always blame himself. I thought that the pain in his eyes was dreadful after he came back (when I was supposed to be dead the first time), but that, that was nothing at all. This was an emptiness. This hurt more than dying and -- to be quite honest -- it had hurt a lot to die (more than vampire venom in my veins).

"I'm alive now, Edward," I reminded him when I was able to speak again. "Don't forget that."

"I could never forget that," he promised, wrapping me in another sweet embrace, so that my face was buried in his chest (oh, how I had missed the smell of him!). "And you're going to stay that way."

"Whatever you say." I paused, and (unwillingly) decided that I should step back to get the werewolf-story out of him. "Now, back to my funeral." Wow, that was weird to be saying. "Tell me every thing that happened."

* * *

I stopped running. Actually, to be technical about it, my metaphorical running had stopped the second I let my dad find out who Stephanie Dwyer was.

He was a little upset. Not only was it a touchy subject (since it involved Bella Swan), but it meant that, once again, someone in our family was caught between Renee's daughter and a vampire named Edward Cullen. The only difference was, I had imprinted. He had only loved her. (Boy, that sounded stupid. As if 'only' and 'love' can be used in the same sentence!)

I changed out of wolf form and took a quick minute to get Dad's thoughts out of my head. It was distracting, having his constant rambling inside my head. I wasn't sure how close he was, but he had to be getting close. He had been three miles away when I had changed so...about...now.

I changed back, and, a second later, there he was. It was strange to see. I hadn't seen his wolf form yet, I only knew that he had one. He was reddish brown, and big. Holy smokes, he was huge. He was at least a head taller than me (meaning bigger in length, bigger in width too), making me feel small even though he was roughly thirty or so and I was sixteen. He was the size of a muscled barge and I was...well, in comparison, scrawny. (I may have grown quite a bit in these past weeks and had somehow put on muscle, but, still, no where near his size.) I was a little put out though, that at least he had an interesting colour to him. I was darker than he was, and that was boring. I was a scrawny, silvery-black coloured dog. There was no fun being a werewolf.

_Let's go back_, Dad ordered.

_Sure_, _sure_, _whatever you say_, I grumbled in my thoughts. Which, was a little shocking. It was weird how emotions could be so clear in thoughts. When my parents had explained the mind-reading thing I had thought it would be emotionless words being exchanged through minds with a little electric shock or something. This was way cooler. (Except for the annoying 'can't get you outta my head' part.)

I followed him, since I had no idea where I was going. I had lost my way with all the circles, loops, and turns I had made in my pointless escape attempt. At first, his thoughts were quiet, and I was so focused on thinking about Stephanie, and how she was probably miserable at that moment, that I didn't notice that his train of thought was getting more and more eccentric.

It started with memories of her. He was fixing up some sort of mechanical thing (looking more like motorcycle parts than car parts, even though he was more of a car expert than a motorvehichle expert). She was in the garage too. Just talking, but, it was strange, seeing how much she looked like Stephanie.

The came more drastic memories (and I can't say how disturbing watching my father kiss another female other than my mother was) and then came the Cullen's interference. I saw Edward Cullen, the guy from the airport; the guy who Stephanie had dismissed me for the second she saw him outside the graveyard for our first meeting there; and it was weird that I now felt a strange loathing for him, although I had never met him, not really, I felt he was responsible for -- oh. Never mind. I soon realized that Dad's thoughts were tangling in with mine. He didn't hate Edward Cullen, not anymore, so it seemed. He was just bitter. He blamed him for Bella's death, but he blamed himself more.

He had talked with Edward at Bella's funeral. How much he blamed himself was clear in the words he had spoken. It seemed that the vampire called Alice could see things in the future, and that she could have prevented Bella's death if the werewolves hadn't been about to show up at Bella's and Edward's wedding. (Ouch. That would hurt a lot to have the person you love invite you to the wedding -- or worse, from what I could see of the jumble of memories, the husband of the girl you love inviting you to the wedding.)

I had heard a little about Alice, mostly from Stephanie, but I gained more perspective from Dad's memories. Some old legends about our kind claimed that we could hide our actions from our enemies, and that could only be broken by a blood promise of peace. From the looks of Dad's memories, that's just about what happened. Five of them were going to leave, and the one called Alice would receive the blood oath. The old treaty was fixed up a little, and, whatever hatred had been there (and was still there) was disregarded. Every rule was changed, either to be made stricter or to be made more reasonable. Boundaries were changed, so that there was more common ground. The one called Alice could now, by the exchanging of blood, see visions of the future from times before and directly after contact with out kind. Apparently, she couldn't do that before. (Apparently, all futures went blank. How freaky is that?)

It was a weird scene, seeing a little spiky-haired imp-like vampire taking a sip of every werewolf from the reservation. It had been done. Edward, and the rest of his family, never spoke with the Quiluete werewolves again -- until the airport.

The second we reached the forest's edge, Dad immediately turned to me and told me to stay where I was, since Mom had decided to invite someone over (aka the plumber -- which was an insult to Dad because he had promised to fix the sink as soon as he brought me back home).

He changed back, and that's when I noticed the jeans that had been tied to his leg with some sort of band (which was very smart and I would have to remember that for later, for the next time I ran away from home for kicks). He ran inside, and I waited. He came back out and (miracle) brought me pants. Any resentment I had held for him (in other words, blaming him and his bloodline for making me a monster), was gone. Life seems better when one has pants.

"I'm going to kick the plumber out, but you come straight in, got it?" he ordered in his fatherly voice -- the one he didn't use often enough because he was the one apologizing to me when Mom had gone overboard -- which was often.

I changed back -- which was weirdly hard to do, and I shuddered a few times -- and gave him a quick nod. I grabbed my pants and shoved them on. Dad ran inside and and followed slowly after him. I wasn't in the mood to see Mom, but I knew I would have to face her (and her tears of worry -- and her shouts of scolding). I was just going to take my time getting there.

The plumber -- a heavy-set man, balding -- and his red tool box came out just as I was going in. I heard Mom whispering harsh words, telling Dad off for sending the plumber away.

"I said I was going to fix it," he reminded her. "Right after I brought Jared back."

"So? That's going to be a while yet," she snorted. "If he won't listen to me he certainly won't listen to"--she paused then, seeing me enter the kitchen--"Jared?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, heading over to the kitchen table to take a seat.

"Oh, baby!" she cried, her arms sweeping around me, half choking me. "I was so scared! Oh, damn it, Jared. Don't you scare me like that again."

"Sure, sure," I sighed. I wretched out of her arms and took a seat on the opposite side of the table, away from her death-grip hug.

"Your father brings you back here only to give me that kind of attitude?" She snapped. "Jacob, I think you should have left him out there a couple more hours. He could use a bit more time to clear his head and think about how he should talk to his mother!"

"Sorry, Mom," I muttered. Why the hell did I come back again?

She sighed and covered her eyes with her hand. "I'm sorry, Jared. You shouldn't be," she said quietly, shocking me a little. "You've been through so much. It isn't fair. I know how awful this is for you. I wish I could take it all back. I can't though, so, just know that I'm here for you, and so is your father." She dropped her hand and smiled slightly at me. "Every thing will work out in the end, you'll see. It worked out for me, so that roughly translates to 'ti's not that bad'. If I could make it work, you certainly can. You're tougher than I was. Definitely tougher than this old man." She nudged Dad and started laughing shyly.

I stared. It was so strange. She was acting quiet, shy, sorry, and it was something that I didn't see often. She had her good days (although more bad than good), but she was never quiet, shy, and sorry all at once. Hell, she was never shy. She had her apology-moments more frequently though. Her quiet moments were rare. So, obviously, this whole change really is a big deal. Now I knew for sure that I wasn't exaggerating my fears. Being a werewolf really did suck.

"So, about this Stephanie girl," Mom grinned. "Who is she?"

"That's a long story, honey," Dad grumbled.

"I don't care what he told you," she sneered pettily. "_I_ am his _mother_."

I groaned and closed my eyes. I didn't want to have this discussion.

"Tell me, Jared, sweetie," she ordered. "She's not really the girl from the airport, is she?"

Dad and I froze. It was always so weird how she found things out so easily. Then again, she was good at guessing conspiracy. She liked to think that I went over to the Uley house a lot, when I went...never, really. She liked to think that Dad was the one breaking the sink just he would have something to do on rainy days (which were more often than a surge in Mom's temper, meaning very often).

"She is," I answered. "But I don't want to talk about it."

"You imprinted on some girl named Stephanie who was at the airport with that leech," she recounted, ignoring my request. "So, what else do you know about her?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it," I repeated.

"I know you don't, but this is important," she insisted. "It has to do with those leeches, so your father and I need to hear about it."

"They're not leeches, Mom," I said through clenched teeth.

She was stunned by my comment. "What?"

"I really don't want to talk about this." How many times did I had to say this?

"Jared, I hear talking about this makes them better. I know talking to Emily really helps me--"

"Well, that's you!" I shouted, standing with enough force to knock over the table. "And how come you can go over to the Uley house and talk to whoever you want to with no complaint but I can't go anywhere without your permission?" I paused, and I saw her temper begin to boil and her eyes narrowed. "I don't want to talk about this, Mom. Leave. Me. Alone."

My body was shaking from anger, but I managed to steer myself into my room. I slammed the door behind me, but, because she was that determined, she opened the door straightaway and came bounding into my room.

"Why is it so hard to tell me?" she demanded. "Tell me! I want to hear it, Jared. You can't keep your secrets from me."

"Yes. I. Can," I growled. I raced around my room, squandering around for anything that would distract me from her currently irritating voice.

"Jared, you--!"

"Honey, let him be," Dad interrupted. He gently grabbed her arm and forced her out of my room. She protested, but he was able to drag her away. I slammed the door again, but my anger just kept building. My body was shaking violently. I wasn't sure how much longer I could control myself.

Then I heard them, outside the door. I hadn't realized that Mom had tried to come back in, only that her voice, shrill and compliantly ranging in tones, was outside the door. Dad wad convincing her to leave me alone, but she wouldn't budge, saying that she wanted to find out more about what the 'leeches' wanted with the girl I had imprinted on.

He told her. He explained to her every thing I had showed him, all that I had explained to him. I didn't like how easily he could betray my secrets. Sure, she was my mother. Maybe I should trust her, but I couldn't. As much as I loved her, I didn't want her knowing every thing about my life. Especially not this.

I tried to ignore it -- they're talking was quiet but what they were saying tuned my ears in so quickly. I thought about blaring music, but then they would head off somewhere else, and I wouldn't hear what else they would discuss.

I decided that I should properly get dressed. That distracted me for half a minute (less, actually). I did something completely crazy to distract myself, something I hadn't done in years (pathetic, I know), I decided to make my bed. Hell, my room had never looked so clean. There was actually floor space -- enough to sit two people comfortably in -- once I was done. The distractions worked though, and by the time that floor space was visible, the conversation outside my door was coming to an end.

"Do you really think Bella's back?" Mom asked.

"I don't know," Dad replied. "But, I have to find out."

"No, you don't," she argued. "And, say she is there, then what? Are you going to leave me for her?"

"Of course not," he snorted.

"Then what?" she pleaded. "There's nothing you can do now."

"I can say goodbye," he whispered. "Will you let me do that?"

She hesitated. The pause was startling. Was she actually considering it?

"I'm coming with you," she told him. "And if Jared's girl is there, I say we take her out of there. She shouldn't be with those people. She'll be killed, just like Bella was."

"Fine," he agreed.

I slammed open my door, and glared at them. Mom was surprised and had jumped out of the way, barely missing the swing of my door. Dad was looking at me with a combination of scolding and apology.

"I can't see why you won't leave them alone," I said, glowering at them. "And you won't touch her. If she wants to be with them -- with him -- then she can. You'll have nothing to do with this."

"We can do whatever we want!" Mom squeaked -- she was still shocked at my display of anger. (I had never gotten angry at her before, but this moment was well worth getting angry.)

"This is as much our business as yours," Dad said, his face showing no chance of wavering.

"I'll make sure they know you're coming then," I sneered.

No -- Jared," Mom sputtered nervously. "You will do no such thing."

"Try to stop me," I dared.

And then I ran from my house again, for the second time that week -- all within twenty-nine hours of the last time -- and didn't look back as they called after me. I ignored both pleads and threats. I tore off my clothes (not literally tore, just pulled off) and managed to tie them to my leg (I had found something in my rampaging through my room that was close enough to Dad's band idea that was usable). I changed into wolf-form in one giant leap, and ran, chasing scents around the forest.

I had no idea where they were, but I had every hope that I could track them down. And, sure enough, after an hour of running, I could smell the sickly sweet scent of just the people I wanted to see. I followed the road once I found, but kept hidden behind the forest line. I changed back and put my clothes back on. There was something like a meadow -- or a lawn? -- and then a big white house. It was really old looking, but had been repaired or something, because it looked fresh, even with the darkening sky looming over it. The house wasn't what I had been expecting. Maybe a dark castle or a large abandoned cabin, not what I saw in front of me.

I could only hope that my parents had been right about one thing, that she was inside there, otherwise, this was going to be very embarrasing -- and probably dangerous. I was a vampire's only enemy, right? But maybe I would be lucky and none of them would be thirsty...

* * *

I was tired. I didn't realize how tired I was until after Edward explained all about the new treaty with the werewolves. I nearly feel asleep in his arms. Alice and Jasper faded away, probably preparing for whatever blood ritual and grave-digging we would have to do. I was thankful to be alone with Edward.

We talked for a while. I lay with his arms holding my tightly, cradling me softly, and he told me more of what I had missed while I was gone. Even in my stupor, I was saddened by how he spoke of the girl who had tried to take my place. He so obviously loved me though, that I knew that, one day, I could forgive him completely. For now, I would keep my hurt secret, and let myself heal slowly. Whatever he said about her, it wasn't romantic things anyway. It was words one would use with an old friend -- someone you truly trusted -- but not someone you would kiss...like how, I was sure, he had kissed her.

I fell asleep while he was going into great detail of how much he loved me. I fell asleep with a smile on my face and a weight on my heart.

I opened my eyes in a dream, where the room was white and there was a single black coffin, directly at my feet.

I recognized where I was, and immediately called out "Is, are you there?" just in case she hadn't really disappeared.

"Dead," said a voice, Steph's voice.

"Steph?" I said, eyes scanning the coffin lid.

"Also dead, or, rather, almost dead," she whispered sullenly. "Come back never and maybe that may change."

"I'm sorry." I bit my lip, and wrung my fingers together, seeing how pitiful her condition was. (She sounded as sick as Is had before she had vanished forever.) "But, hey, tomorrow night, you'll have your life back. I promise."

"Too late," she moaned. She sounded like she really was dying. "I'll be gone for sure then. God, what a miserable waste of a life. I end up here, in some black pointless waiting place, while you get to party with Superman all day and night. Must be fun...isn't it? To have someone so perfect love you entirely? Every part of you? So that there's no space in his heart for anything else? I think it's admirable, and I envy you, Isabella Swan. You've captured the heart of a prince. And you, you get the promise of forever. And not just forever, but a forever that _means_ something. I would trade anything for what you have."

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

She laughed in a small, hoarse voice. "Why are you sorry? You should be happy! You have so many...you have something I never had a chance at having. You have happiness. I wasted my life because I didn't realize how short a time I had. Issie never wasted her life. My sweet, strong, little Isabella fought until the end...and maybe that's what caused her to break. Maybe she should have chased after whatever dreams she had, instead of taking care of me. I think, maybe, it wasn't you that caused her death, but it was me."

"Of course not!" I shouted stubbornly. "You had nothing to do with her death! She loved you and wanted to protect you. If she found out that you were blaming yourself, and hurting yourself, she would throw a fit! You know she would."

She laughed again, this time a little stronger. "Funny, I never noticed before..."

"What?" I asked. I stepped around the coffin and tracked my way to the head-part. "What haven't you noticed before?"

"You sound like her, when you're angry, when you're trying to be selfless and convincing me that I'm not to blame," Stephanie explained. "Isabella...You know, she would throw a fit. She was fussy that way. Wonderfully fussy."

"Stop blaming yourself," I continued. "You're going to be fully alive in a short, short while. Think about...seeing Renee again. Think about Phil."

It made me sad, knowing that I would never speak to or see Renee, my wonderful mother, ever again. Phil...he was okay, but I would live. It was my mother, though, that hurt to think about.

"You're making me a vampire," she snapped. "How can I see my parents when I'll want to eat them alive? Hardly! I think I'll take Edward's road; I'll find the Volturi, walk out into the sun, and whoosh! Dead and gone. No regrets."

"No regrets?" I scoffed. (I had to try another way to reach her.) "Really? You have nothing? No one? You couldn't have lived with no one in your life. How about friends?"

"The wedding...Cat...Catlin is getting married at the end of the summer...," she mumbled. "I won't be able to go...and...and I promised I would..."

I bit my lip again. How much more of her life was I going to end up taking away for my own selfish needs?

"I think I will go," she said, suddenly more awake and alert. "If I don't murder them all, it might be fun. I won't get drunk -- on wine, anyways -- and I'll probably be the best dancer there, what with vampires being so graceful and all. Then again...the vampire's grace might get counter-acted by my clumsiness. So, I'll be about normal. But maybe I'll be pretty and some nice, decent, single guys will be at the wedding, notice me and...who knows. Then again...I'm not exactly a Rosalie, so maybe I'll just turn out being extra pale, constantly thirsty, and otherwise completely normal."

I would have advised not going, but I didn't want to crush her.

Maybe it's better if I don't wake up, she thought.

"Don't think that," I said quickly.

"What?"

"I can hear your thoughts, out here," I explained. "So, don't think about giving up, Stephanie. Think about Renee."

"Renee wouldn't live if she lost another daughter," she agreed solemnly. "I'll show up for her, and then disappear for a few years, call her now and then. I'll finally show up when she's old, lost her sight, and then she won't be able to see that I haven't aged."

"See, you can't disappoint her." Crap -- this wasn't going so well. That whole not-aging thing put a damper on things for her.

"And I still have to apologize to Jared," she recalled, her voice lightening again. "I have to."

Finally, something to work with.

"Whose Jared? A friend?" I questioned. "I knew you had to have made friends somewhere. Or is he a boyfriend?"

"He is Jacob Black's son," she answered coldly. "Ring any bells? Ha. Isn't that what he nicknamed you? Bells?"

I held back any mean comments and tried to remember that I was about to take any chance at a normal life away from her.

"That doesn't answer my question," I said. "Who is he? I mean, who is he to you?"

"A friend." She paused. "I think."

"More?" I encouraged. "What's he like?"

"Stop talking," she snapped. I jumped backward, surprised by the power in her voice. "I hate it when you sound like her. You are Isabella S., and she is Isabella D., and that's that." She paused abruptly, and, when she spoke again, her voice was soft.

"Your initials are 'I.S.'," she whispered. "IS, that's your name." She paused again. "I used to call her that -- Is -- all the time. She hated it, but ever since Phil stared calling her that name I couldn't help it." She released a slow, heavy sigh. "Another similarity between the two of you. Both of you are Is. How strange."

"Yes, strange," I agreed, feeling stiff and awkward at her comparison. I was so used to Is' angry and sharp conversation that, in this place, Stephanie's quiet, sad voice was unbearable. "So you were close to...Is...right? Why don;t you tell me about that?"

"I rather not," she said in a slow, monosyllabic tone. "And you wouldn't want to hear, Isabella Swan. It may be every thing to me, but it would be very dull for you."

"No. I want to hear it," I insisted, I want to hear every thing. I want to know you, Stephanie, just as you have gotten to know me. Leave nothing out."

"Is--"

"No. Tell. Me," I ordered. "Tell me about Renee's new life. Tell me about Is' life. Tell me about what brought you here, to Forks"--how painful this was!--"to Edward. Tell me about Jared. Tell me about the life you had, and the life you will have."

It was quiet. I heard her take in a huge breath of fresh air. It sounded light, as if whatever weight had been holding the solemn tone in her voice was given way to a new hope.

"Where should I start?" she asked. She seemed unsure of herself, and the power in her voice gave way to a weakness, a shyness, that I hadn't heard before.

"How about the beginning?" I suggested, trying my best to sound warm and encouraging. "You were born after I died. Where? In Jacksonville?"

"No, actually. That's an interesting story...You see, I was born here, in Forks," she answered, her tone brightening as she spoke. "Believe it or not, I just realized that I met Edward and the Cullen family a lot sooner than this year, or Edward two years ago, and more than in just your memories. Renee was pregnant with me when she came for your funeral, and she came back eleven months later, to visit your grave, and I was born. Actually, she had been leaving that day, but then...her water broke..."

"So, you were born in Forks?" That was astounding. The place where I had died was the place where my half-sister had been born. My life, my home, and the end of my life was the same place that her life had it's beginning.

"Yes, and, the next day, I was in Jacksonville again," she said. I could hear the smile in her voice. "She gave me toys, books...and Phil tried to teach me baseball -- but that never worked out. Renee signed me up for ballet, and I took to that until I was nine. I quit. It was because Is said that I was better at other things, and that dancing was taking away from them." She laughed. "She was right. I had made myself very busy from age eight to nine, and it was too much. My grades suffered a little, because I missed a few tests when a dance recital was on a school day. Renee was too scatter brained to remember, and I didn't want to remind her. Plus, I was reading late, getting very tired -- which ended up keeping Is awake too. That wasn't fair to her."

"What other things did you do?" I couldn't believe that Renee had tried to ballet thing again! And to forget about tests? That wasn't the Renee I knew -- but scatter brained, yes. That was Renee.

"I got into music when I was eight. Singing, guitar, and plus I was studying hard for some piano exam...grade two or three, I think," she continued, her voice becoming more animated and lively. "I wasn't so good at guitar, so, just as Is had predicted, I quit. So there went ballet and guitar, and then, I got really into Anne Rice. So, because I was so busy, I slacked a lot for singing. I quit lessons because my instructor said I was too distracted and that I would never go anywhere if I wasn't completely committed to my craft. She scared me anyways, so I was glad to be rid of her."

"What was Is into?" I pried.

"Books," she answered quickly. "And she liked listening to me play songs, on piano, and I could sing along to the lyrics and she got really good at harmonizing. But, I usually liked more complex, traditional pieces, rather than things with lyrics. Is liked those better too. She usually had Pride and Prejudice with her while I practised."

"She wasn't into anything other than books?" She really did sound like me.

"I shouldn't talk about this anymore," she said suddenly, her voice draining.

"No! Talk, please," I encouraged frantically. The room had darkened when her tone changed to a sadder, drained one.

"I haven't bored you?" She was surprised.

"Why don't you tell me you life's story from when Is was born," I suggested. "I told you I wanted to hear every detail of your life. You told my your interests, so, start giving me more of the place who come from. I want to hear about Is, too."

I was hoping, by recalling the life she had lived, that she might realize how much she really wanted to live. (I was assuming that, deep down, she really did want to live.) From the sounds of things, the life she had started was a nice one. Cute, really. It was a promising start. Is seemed more and more like the older sister -- even though Stephanie was, by the time-line described, the oldest.

"From the beginning again?" she sighed.

"From when Is was born," I suggested.

"She was born in Jacksonville, and, from the second she was born, she loved the sun," Stephanie said in a soft, sisterly voice. And, for once, she did sound like the older sister. "Annoyingly enough, she would cry when she was in the shade, and thunderstorms frightened her. She was gloomy in the rain, and wouldn't let anyone hold her without crying when it did rain. But, the rain was rare, and Renee always took her out into the sun, to the beach...I stayed inside, mostly, but we'd make our annual beach trip and Is would make sure we built sand castles or mermaids or -- when our parents weren't looking -- she'd insist we make a sand house, one that looked a lot like the Cullen house, come to think of it..."

Stephanie spoke to me for a long time. She told me more of how Is cared for her, and how she cared for Is. It seemed that Is became more of a loner as the years went by, and, although Stephanie was shy and not very brave, she wouldn't let her sister be alone even when other protested that Stephanie bringing her little sister every where was weird. From playgrounds to lunchrooms, Is and Stephanie were always together. Is stayed home, read or sunbathed, when Stephanie went out with her friends to the movies or the mall. It was when the Dwyer family moved to Forks that things drastically changed. Is and Stephanie would still exchange books and a small "Hi," but the greetings grew fewer.

Is stopped talking to Stephanie, told her that she knew that her friends thought that Stephanie talking to her weird little sister was odd. So, they spoke only at home, and, as the months rolled by, Is stopped talking. She said good morning, and she acted cheery around Phil and Renee, but in private and in punblic she was just a ghost. Many times, as Stephanie described, it seemed like Is wanted to say something to her, but, nothing ever came out.

Stephanie was just telling me about the funeral when I drifted back into the realm of consciousness. I woke up, inside Edwards arms, crying for the sisters I had never had the chance to know, until now.

* * *

**I AM SO SORRY! I PROMISED PEEPS THAT THIS WOULD BE DONE FOR FRIDAY! AAHHHHH!**

**Long story short: Homework all week. Lots of things. Completed two or so units, maybe three, and then started a new one. Had tests to study for. I went to _Hellboy II: The Golden Army _preview (which was awesome!!) on Wednesday, so that took up some time (including the huge line-up, eesh). Thursday, I was out with my friends because I haven't talked to my one friend in months (how they hell did that happen? Wow...). And Friday, I left. Camping. It was cold. Colder than Edward's lovely hands that Friday night. (Then again, I was right next to the Rocky Mountains. So, cold.) And I just got in! So, here it is!**

**I hope you loved it, or, at the very least, liked it. Forgive the delay. I hope the next chapter will be coming soon...unless I leave again...Just kidding. I intend on staying. For now.**


	19. Chapter 19: Three Days

**Chapter 19: Three Days  
**

I heard Edward's voice, low and in a gentle whisper. He was having a one-sided conversation, which—in—Edward's case—usually meant that the other side of the conversation was speaking only in their thoughts.

"How soon?" He paused—to listen. "I wonder who—"

"Edward?" I croaked.

"Yes, love?" He stroked my cheek as my eyes fluttered open.

"I spoke with Stephanie again," I told him. "I'm worried. It's getting darker in there—she might mnot last much longer..."

"Don't worry, Bella," Alice chimed softly. "She doesn't have to wait much longer. Just another few hours. Three, to be exact. That's when my vision gets cloudy."

Ah, so _that's_ who he was talking to.

"Rosalie and Emmett just arrived," Alice announced.

I wanted to ask 'Where were they?' but then I remembered. They were assigned the task of official grave-diggers.

"I think Bella should rest more," Edward suggested.

"For the last time," I realized.

"Yes," he agreed solemnly. "For the last time."

"And then you'll be officially one of us—even more than before!" Alice piped. "Oh—they need me again."

I knew she had left the room when Edward started talking again. But I barely paid attention at first; I was too distracted trying to imagine Rosalie and Emmett setting up my corpse in the living room.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Not too cold?" I could here the smirk in his voice.

"No."

I felt his arms wrap tighter around me. I sighed and turned my body closer to him, so that we were face-to-face. I sighed heavily and kept my eyes down for a while. I looked up when I felt his lips on mine.

I mumbled "Wait, Edward," into his lips. He sighed and pulled himself back to let breathe again.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "I should let you rest."

"No, it isn't sleep that's the problem," I protested. "I was thinking—while I was sleeping—that—"

"You were thinking while you were dreaming?" Edward cocked a brow and gave me a doubting expression.

"Yes, because wherever that place is inside Stephanie's head—it's exactly like being awake, except in a different place," I explained. "And I was thinking about what's about to happen. Her, me, changing is one thing. The other was triggered by Alice...the whole wedding thing...and...what was supposed to happen."

I was blushing, so I kept my eyes away from Edward, hoping he would pretend I wasn't getting flustered at the mere mention of—

"Bella, I don't know what I can do to...appease you now," he murmured.

"So much for my little demand," I sighed. I closed my eyes and tried to roll over to hide my obvious disappointment—but I couldn't.

Edward's hold on me did not loosen as I had anticipated. He kept me in place despite the fact that I was trying to pull my body away. He cupped my chin and made me face him, look at him, and I was still flushed.

"I can't give you what you want right now," he said. "But don't be upset with me."

"I'm not upset with y—"

"I didn't save you, and I will be eternally sorry for that," he continued. "But please don't be upset, Bella."

"Uhm, okay." Was that the response he wanted?

By the look of his lop-sided smile, I didn't think so. I gulped. The look in his eyes—smoldering at me—was taking any chance of me breathing away. My heart stopped when he leaned in and held his face less than half an inch away from mine. I gasped in air when his lips brushed mine, and then he really kissed me then.

I was reacting as I always had—fingers tangled in his hair, trying to press myself closer to him, kissing him with all my strength (although, that wasn't all that much)—and he kept his hold to just above human strength. I was aware of what he had been saying to me only after his hand roamed over my shoulder, through my hair, and eventually to me waist. I didn't react well to that—I didn't react morally.

Now, what I should have done was tell him very simply that we should stop and I should rest (for that last time). I should have reminded him that I was in Stephanie's body, so I didn't have say in how he touched me. I should have told him I appreciated the thought, but what he was doing for me was a big no, no.

I didn't do that though. Instead, my hands untangled from his hair and slowly felt down his neck—and then his shoulders...and then his chest...

Really, I was going to far, but I had hormones raging inside me, butterflies tearing my guts, and so many other forces begging me to continue, so I did. I unbuttoned Edward's shirt with my feeble, shaking fingers. He didn't stop me. I lay my hands on his cool chest, and breathed in the scent that came off his breath.

Speaking of which, I couldn't breathe. Edward was aware of my gasping for air, and he moved his lips from mine. I sucked in air, and wound my hands back up to his hair and knotted my fingertips there.

His lips started at the corner of my mouth, my cheeks, and then down my jaw. His kissed didn't stop there though. Soon, there was a trail of cold down my neck all the way to my collarbone. His hand on my shoulder moved so that he could kiss me there too.

I heard myself moan quietly, and although I had used almost all my strength, I braced myself tighter against him. I kissed his cheek as he brought his lips back up again.

_Yes_, _I'm a little jealous_.

I opened my eyes. I had forgotten about Stephanie. How easy it was to forget everything and everyone when I was with Edward. He seemed to be the only importance. But I couldn't think like that. I could kiss him later—and have him kiss me like this later—but, right now, I didn't have right to this body.

It was hard to speak with his lips on mine again, so I gently nudged him away again. I closed my eyes and let one more second pass, to settle my heart and strengthen my reserve.

I'm sure my heart was racing to a point that was worrying him. He didn't say anything though. I wished that this was our wedding night, that this was my body, and that I didn't have to stop this moment.

I loosened my hold on him and opened my eyes again.

"Edward?" I gasped.

"Mmmm?"

Good, he was in the mood to listen.

"We have to stop," I whispered. He didn't stop, but he slowed, and his hold loosened considerably. "Please, Edward."

He sighed my name and stopped all movement. His forehead dropped onto my shoulder, and his body stayed close to mine—but no longer touching.

"I'm sure Stephanie doesn't appreciate this," I commented.

"No, I would say not."

_Thanks_.

I bit my lip. What was Edward thinking? I wanted to see his face, to see if I could decipher his expression.

I brushed his cheekbone with my palm and applied a little force, hinting that I wanted him to lift his head. He ignored my gesture at first, only moving his hand to my neck. I waited. He lifted his face up and his eyes met mine.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You're sorry?" I was a little breathless still. "I should be sorry."

"No, Bella," he urged—his voice showed signs that he was breathless too. "Don't put this on yourself; the blame is mine."

"You better stop blaming yourself after I become a vampire otherwise I will kick your butt," I warned. The threat was whimpy, but I wanted to make him smile—it worked...a little. I could see his lips twitch into the shape of a smile, but then his expression became solemn again.

His eyes searched mine, findind nothing. I tried to show him how much I cared for him, how much I loved him and wanted him, but he glanced downward, seeming disappointed in what he saw.

"Can you ever forgive me?" he asked.

"Of course," I told him. "I never held it against you."

"Yes, I know that," he chuckled darkly. "You really should care more about who is responsible for your death."

"And that's why I asked if Jane had been killed."

"But that wasn't what I was referring to," he continued. "I meant...Stephanie."

"Oh." Crap, not the question I wanted him asking. I had said yes the first time, but...after Stephanie told me her side of the story...would I be lying if I said yes?

"Oh?" He looked up at me, seeming to already know I was having difficulty saying yes.

"Yes," I said. "Yes I will forgive you."

"But not now," he noted.

I bit my lip. "No, not right now," I admitted.

"At least you're being rational about it."

"Edward..." I reached forward to touch his face, but I stopped myself. Maybe this wasn't the best time.

"I truly am sorry that I have hurt you again, Bella," he apologized. "I will do all I can to make it up to you."

"The second Stephanie comes back and I have my own body, you're forgiven, Edward," I told him. "I swear."

"That easy?" He smirked, but the light-hearted gesture was only that—a gesture, not what he was really feeling.

"That easy," I agreed. "You won me over with your impressive kissing skills."

"Again," he laughed.

"Yes, again."

* * *

"Holy Hera," I gasped—out loud too.

I had never seen any R-rated movies, but that...that was a little scary. I had chills. I was trying to cover my eyes, but it didn't work. I tried to cover my ears, but that didn't work either. Isabella Swan was controlling what I heard, saw, and felt. It was excruciating, seeing how closely they tangled themselves together—with _my body_.

I banged a few times, trying to escape, but I was, pathetically, much weaker than Isabella had been when she was inside the black box. At least she had caused me to black out twice. All I could do was say something and she heard it. Yipee. Aren't I impressive?

She stopped though. She respected me enough that she was willing to give up valuable make-out time for my sake.

It was especially dark and gloomy today (or tonight, I wasn't so good on the keeping track of time thing). My little prison was tighter and I could barely move.

I didn't do anything all day and all night (or however long I had been in here). In short, my time in this whack place was dull. I was going to go mental.

I hadn't been listening to Isabella when I heard it, but, somehow it rang throughout my head (her head) so clearly that there was no mistaking it.

I saw his face flash through Isabella's thoughts and heard her speak his name. "Jared," she said. And I snapped my head up (banging it on the coffin's lid) and then slowly lay back, keeping my thoughts calm. I tried my very best not to think, not to hope, but one question shattered all my barriers, all my chances at not hoping. That question was _Why is he here_? And the numerous answers lead to too many new questions.

Also, besides the hope, there was another feeling, one I couldn't describe. It was something along the lines of trust but deeper...

* * *

Edward had insisted on another nap, and, to be honest, I had been really tired. I slept for two hours, according to Edward, and that was when Alice sprang into the room.

"Get up! It's time!" she announced.

"Time for what?" I asked sleepily. I yawned, stretched my arms over my head and sat up straight.

"I think she's still asleep," Edward told Alice.

"We don't have time for that," Alice snapped.

"Is something wrong, Alice?" I asked. She seemed nervous—which was weird for Alice.

"I'm sorry. I don't like not knowing what is about to happen," she admitted. "I have some idea, but I don't know who is coming and how they will react. I only know it's a werewolf and that they have to help us or else..."

"Got it." I shot out of Edward's bed and stood by Alice. "So, right now?"

"Any second now. My vision blurs in three...two..."

Edward's and Alice's heads snapped to the doorway.

"He's close," Edward said.

"Who is it? Can you tell?" I questioned. I tried not to think 'Is it him?'

"I don't know him," Edward answered. "But he was with Stephanie."

"He's been recently changed?" Alice asked, a little surprised. Edward nodded. "Oh."

"Is that a problem?"

"It makes him a little harder to reason with," Alice explained.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

"Why is that?"

"I'm sure he would do anything for her," I told them. "From what Stephanie has been telling me, he seems to care a lot about her. They're friends. And she told him that I was coming."

"So she did know," Edward murmured.

I nodded. "She thought I was going to raise from the dead in a different way though. She was going to leave Forks yesterday."

"She's going to leave in just over three days," Alice assured me. "I've already seen that."

"He's here," Edward said calmly.

"Do you know his name?" Alice asked.

"Jared," I said.

"Jared," she repeated.

She was gone then. Edward took my hand and lead me out the door, down the hall, and, finally, down the staircase. There was a knock at the door. I looked down to see the door open, and there stood the Jared that Stephanie's memories had described.

"Uh, hi," he said, looking a little nervous. "Is this the Cullen residence?"

"It is, Jared," Alice greeted flamboyantly.

"How do you know my name?" he asked.

"Bella told us—and Stephanie told Bella," Alice explained.

"Is Stephanie here?" Jared's eyes swept over Alice and then caught me on the staircase. "Stephanie, you're here! I thought you were leaving?"

"Oh." How was I supposed to explain this? "I'm not exactly Stephanie," I said. "I'm Bella."

"Inside Stephanie's body," Alice explained. "And don't worry, Stephanie is perfectly fine."

I was glad that Alice had assured him so quickly; his body had begun to shake a little.

"Where is she then?" he demanded.

"Inside me—er, her—still," I answered. "She can probably hear you right now."

Jared took a minute to digest that. He pointed to me and said "You're Bella," then pointed to Edward, said "Edward," and, finally, pointed at Alice.

"Did you know I was coming?" he asked her. "You are Alice, right?"

"I didn't know that you specifically were coming," she explained. "Only that one of your kind—a werewolf—was coming."

"Well, it isn't just me," he growled. "You have worse company than that coming."

"Jacob?"

Everyone looked at me. I hadn't realized I had said it allowed; I blushed.

"He's convinced the whole pack that the vamps are back and need to go."

"That makes our time rather crunched," Alice pouted.

"But can we do it?" I questioned.

Alice turned to me, grinning ear to ear. "Absolutely!" she giggled. "So long as we have Jared's help."

"Help with what?" He sounded skeptical.

"Saving Stephanie," I said. "And me."

"I thought you said she was fine?"

"But I'm in her body, and that doesn't bode too well for either of us," I pointed out. "I need to get back in my body so she can have hers."

"Oh, that makes sense."

I was probably frying his brain right now. I looked like her, but I wasn't her. I promised she was fine, but yet she needed saving. And I was talking about switching bodies. That would fry my brain if I was in his position.

"So what do you need me to do?" Jared asked.

"Your blood," Edward answered simply. Jared's eyes went wide. "Just two drops, and, also, your precence here."

"Alright."

I could tell that he really wanted to say no, but he didn't; he wouldn't let Stephanie down.

"We should do this right now, before the others come," Edward urged. "Are you ready, Bella?"

Oh, wow. Not really. "Absolutely. Let's go."

* * *

I was surrounded by vampires. The little spiky-haired Alice, the mind-reading Edward, the doctor Carlisle, and four others. I could identify them because of what Stephanie had told me—Emmett, the one that was as big as a bear, Rosalie, who was pretty, in her own sort of way, and Jasper...which I forgot what he could do—oh, wait—the one who could mix emotions around.

They introduced themselves when I saw them, and I did the same. It was the best I could do to act comfortable. I crossed my arms over my chest and hoped that none of them had a craving for werewolf blood.

Speaking of which, I had to give them my blood anyway. Apparently, werewolf blood was just what they needed to revive Bella's body.

"Bella, you might want to look away," the mind-reader, Edward, warned Bella—who was in Stephanie's body—in a whisper.

I didn't understand his warning at first. But then, I smelled it. The rotten, foul stench. I saw the rotten flesh stretched over the cold, dead corpse lying on a couch in a rather empty back room. The body, from what I could see from the rotting flesh, looked a lot like Stephanie. The long hair, reaching past the corpse's waist was darker—although covered in dust or some sort of gray substance.  
The nails had grown long and yellowish, and the skin was past the gray-toned stage. I knew only from movies that hair and nails grow on after the person dies, so I could guess that the Bella-corpses Rapunzal hair was because of that.

"Ready?" Edward asked her for the second time. She nodded. He directed her over to another stretch of couch, where she laid down.

"I promise no harm will come to you," the doctor, Carlisle, promised me.

"Stephanie too," I urged.

"No harm will come to her either."

"Then go ahead," I told him, reaching my arm out. "Take whatever you need from me."

He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. He brought me over to the Bella-corpse, and he revealed a very surgical looking knife. (He was a doctor after all.) He gently cut into the corpses wrist, and then turned to me. I reached out my arm again. He cut me quickly (but not in a violent "I want to suck your blood" kind of way) and held my cut over where he had cut the Bella-corpse. The second a single drop of blood touched her open flesh, I heard a loud gasp from behind me. Carlisle released my head and gestured for me to follow him again.

"Quickly now," Alice frowned. "We dont have much time."

I realized that the gasp had been Bella-inside-Stephanie's-body. Her eyes were rolling back into her head and she was heaving her body forward, supporting her weight on her shoulders. She was breathing heavily. Edward took her hand and she started breathing normally.

Carlisle cut her wrist and she flinched from the sting of his knife. I automatically held my bleeding wrist over hers, and that was that. Carlisle nodded at me and then went straight over to Bella's corpse.

"Edward," Bella-in-Steph gasped.

"I'm right here, Bella. I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

Edward turned his head—but kept his eyes on Stephanie's body—and nodded at Carlisle. "On three it is then," he said. I saw Carlisle nod and then, after a short pause in any moment, both Edward and Carlisle bit into the wrist of the body they each stood by. The wrists were each red stained, both from my blood and from their own blood from when Carlisle had cut them.

I realized then what was strange about what had happened—other than the obvious, and the fact that the two bodies had just been bitten. What was strange was that Bella's corpse started bleeding when my blood had touched her decaying skin.

Stephanie's body stopped breathing heavily. In the place of the heavy breathing was squeals and shrieks. Bella's body started moaning, and then gasping, and, finally, screaming. Overall, the entire room was filled with their gasps of pain, squeals, and heart-breaking screams.

"Ah! The fire!" Stephanie's body shrieked. "Somebody—please—put out—please—the fire!"

"Edward!" squealed Bella's body. Edward looked torn, his hand was clenched deep inside the grip of Stephanies hand, and he didnt want to leave her—but he wanted to, because Bella was (somehow) back in her own body.

"Go to her," I urged. "Stephanie will be fine." I pushed Edward aside and took Stephanies hand from him. He nodded; he understood.

"I'm right here, Bella," he said from the other side of the room. "You're safe."

"It hurts—so—much—Edward!" Bella's voice was shrill.

"Stupid—bunch of—CRAP!" Stephanie groaned. "Damn IT! Its—like—the—surface—of the—sun!"

I could only translate what she said as meaning "It is very warm." I didn't understand how she could be feeling like she was burning alive just because Edward bit her, but, somehow, she did. I tried to remember if she had explained that to me in her long life's story—or in her telling of Bella's life story.

The screaming went on for a while. It didnt get any quieter until the second day. I was really tired, and I would have dozed off if not for the screaming and the iron hold Stephanie had on my hand.

Rosalie, the pretty one, once sat beside me. She introduced herself, and said that she wished that the choice they all made hadn't been forced upon Stephanie. I agreed, but I didn't have an intelligent answer—due to lack of sleep—so I merely nodded.

My stomach was growling, but I didnt think about it too much. Stephanie had stopped screaming and was only panting and moaning now—I took it as a good sign.

"Would you like something to eat?" the one called Esme offered. She held out a rather undercooked piece of reddish meat. I was starving. I didn't refuse.

She laughed when I shoved it into my mouth hastily (after thanking her) with my left hand (because Stephanie had my right) and swallowed it without hardly chewing.

"Its sweet of you to stay for her," she said. "You must care a lot for her."

I nodded quickly. "I do."

She smiled knowingly, and then slipped away. I heard Edwards voice, talking as if Esme was asking him questions—or maybe she was, only, not aloud, but in her thoughts.

I wasn't sure why no one had showed up yet. I had been so sure that Mom was going to send the cavalry in straightaway. I was thankful they didnt come, the screaming would convince them for sure that the vamps were bad news.

They weren't though. I had thought they would be terrible, or at least a little frightening. (A growl here and there, someone would have red eyes, something like that—maybe evil laughter?) Every last one of them was exactly as Stephanie had described them. Warm, that was a word to describe it. There skin may be cold and their hearts unbeating, but they just had something about their nature. They weren't that bad after all.

I checked over my shoulder several times, to see how Bella was doing. Her flesh had repaired itself. It was no longer rotting or sunken. She was pale, but she looked alive. Her nails—which I had seen when her arms had been flailing wildly the first night—weren't yellow and they had shortened a little, not curled over her fingertips anymore.

By the morning of the third day, neither of them were breathing. From what Alice had briefly told me, their hearts had stopped. Their skin paled, their breathing steadied, and their screams didn't return. Stephanie's hand grew cold and hard.

Alice was kind enough to offer me a batch of cookies—strange, but they actually tasted good.

Jasper and Alice hovered in the room, and then left, with broad, soft smiles on their faces.

Carlisle and Esme poked their heads in, and then they left too.

Rosalie came in, stared at Bella, and then Stephanie. Her eyes, dark and sorrowful, closed, but she did not leave. She remained in the room for another minute, and then was gone so quickly that I blinked and missed her exit.

Emmett, the big, bear-like one, came in, grinning and laughing with relief.

"Its done," he laughed.

"Emmett," Rosalie snapped. "Leave them alone for now, please."

"Right! Sorry."

He left quickly, and we were alone in the room again. Just Edward, Bella, Stephanie and I.

"Im alive," Bella said. Her voice was calm (but a little surprised).

"Bella," Edward sighed.

"This feels so...different," she laughed. "I'm alive! Oh—Stephanie...how is she?"

Stephanie opened her eyes. They were blood red. She sat up straight, dropping my hand. She stared at the floor, and then stood. Her pale face was calm, and her eyes scanned over her own body, as if taking in her changes from mere sight. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but she was even more beautiful than before. There had been a scar on her lip before, the tiniest thing, but, now, it was gone and her lips were flawless.

She seemed very afraid suddenly. She glanced at Bella, at Edward, and then at me.

"Whats going on?" she asked.

"Stephanie, do you remember what I told you?" Bella's voice was calm, but full of concern.

"Yes," Stephanie growled. "I remember now. So, you're alive, I'm alive—" She paused, and then released a flurry of frightened laughter. "Never mind, actually. Were both technically dead, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are." Bellas tone was grim. "Im sorry."

"No, its not your fault," Stephanie said, shaking her head slowly. "I don't think its anyones fault. This couldn't be helped. Sort of fate, if you will."

"Maybe."

"Jack shall have Jill; Nought shall go ill; the man shall have his mare again, and all shall be well," Stephanie quoted, her eyes darting to Edward. "I always liked _A Midsummer Nights Dream_, and Puck was wise to say that." She paused. "Edward, you have Bella back. I told you I would do all I could do to help you, to get Bella back if I could, and now, here she is. I don't break promises."

"Im sure Lana Lang has her own Superman, Stephanie," Edward said to her.

She shrugged. "Well see."

I was beginning to feel forgotten, when she suddenly turned to me, her eyes searching mine.

"I'm sorry, Jared," she said. "I was being mean before. I would really like to be your friend—if you don't hate me, that is. Especially now...since I'm not...exactly...human anymore."

"You seem perfectly Stephanie-like to me," I told her. "Human has nothing to do with it."

She smiled. "Thanks, Jared." She turned back to Edward and Bella. "Maybe Ill see all of you again one day."

"You're going?" Bella asked. "I don't think that's a good idea. Being a newborn vampire, Stephanie, its not—"

"I don't care," she interrupted. "I'm leaving Forks today."

"Stephanie—"

She held up her hand to cut me off. "Jared, I'm not staying in a town of mutts and leeches. I don't want to be reminded of all the people I lost here any longer. Goodbye."

She turned for the door. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie stood in her way, each of them with a pleading expression, wanting her not to risk leaving.

She laughed. "Sorry, I cant stay."

I blinked and she was gone.

"I'm new to this, but...that was pretty fast," Bella commented.

"It was," Edward agreed.

"Shes as fast as Edward," Emmett noted.

"That could be dangerous," Jasper said.

"No, not really," Alice grinned. "Shell be fine. She seems to be almost as immune to human blood as Bella."

"What?" Bella asked. "Immune?"

"You don't seem to care about human blood at all, from what I can see," Alice explained. She opened her eyes. "And I only see Stephanie sampling human blood in ten years from now, but only that. And..."—her eyes shot to me—"...its nothing to worry about."

There was a loud knock on the door then.

"Who could that be?" Alice asked in a tight, flustered voice.

"Jacob," Edward answered. "And his pack."

* * *

**A little short, yes. But, I hope you liked it! This is either the second last or third last chapter...most likely third last. So, in total, this story will be 21 chapters long (just for a head's up). Please REVIEW!**

* * *


	20. Chapter 20: The Pack

**Chapter 20: The Pack**

"What's next?" I sighed, poking my head around the room in an absent-minded daze.

The room was once considered mine. That wasn't the case anymore. Forks wasn't going to be my home. Forks was the home of fantastical, wondrous things, and perfect, sweet, deserving people. I wasn't meant to belong here. Not today, at least. Maybe one day though.

I had packed nearly everything. I had flipped through the phone book and found a company that allowed me to rent out my own moving truck and drive it myself. That was the only way this could be done. If I packed everything myself and drove it all by myself, no human would be hurt. I wasn't sure how great my restraint was, being a newborn vampire and all that. I wanted as little human contact as I could. It would be safer for me, for the humans—and for vampires in general who preferred keeping their existence a secret. (For example, the Volturi.)

I had broken my hairbrush when I had tried to pack it. I had grabbed it a little too tightly. The handle snapped in three. I got frustrated at that—Issie had given it to me when I was eight, for my birthday. (It was a cheap thing, but it was one of the few pink, girly looking things I owned.)

That was when I broke my dresser. I had turned around, muttered a few curse words, and put my hand on my dresser. I had gripped the edge too tightly, and then accidentally shoved it when I went to lean off of it—because I had heard the wood break when my fingers had gripped the edge too hard. In the end, the entire top of the dresser split from the rest of the dresser, and the back of the dresser tipped into the wall. The wall was just scratched a bit, nothing too serious. My dresser, on the other hand, the one that Phil had bought from a garage sale when I was six, was totally destroyed. I was more than a little angry then.

I raced out into the front yard, then into the forest. I blew out my steam on the first tree with a large trunk I could find. I beat it to a pulp—literally, there were fluttering pieces of dry pulp-looking things in the air. My hair was covered in it and I'm sure my skin was caked in the woody substance. I didn't sneeze, which, normally, I would have. I wasn't normal anymore though. I just breathed in the smell of cut—or rahter, mangled—wood.

There was another smell. I didn't recognize it. I stepped forward and approached the scent, tracking it with my nose. I brought myself closer and closer to the strange, muggy scent.

I got distracted by another, richer smell. I jumped forward, racing toward the rich smell, breathing in the wonderful smell of something like undercooked steak.

Before I even blinked, my hands had brought the animal to my mouth and my teeth sank in. I marvelled at the sweet, bitter, heady smell and sucked in the wonderful liquid seeping from the animals open flesh. The fur was in the way, but it wasn't so bad either. Now, I didn't chew on it or anything, but it was almost like what salad dressing does for salad—it added a unique flavor.

I dropped the still animal and was surprised by it's size. It was a deer! A male deer, antlers and all. I had sucked it dry. I stared at my hand and was both repulsed and intrigued by the dark red spiraling over my palm and through my fingers. I touched my fingers to my lips and found that I was a very messy eater because there was more blood on my face than on my hands. I quickly licked up the waste on my hands. I wiped my face off on my hands and repeated the licking process. I was so disgusted with myself. I wasn't entirely full, and, even as I loathed myself for killing an animal so savagely, I wanted more.

I caught the strange, musky smell again. It was the muggy, warmness radiating from it that caught my attention. The warmth would have been tempting if not for the weird smell that was twined in with it.

I hadn't come across the smell in any of Bella's memories. I hadn't experienced it anywhere before in my life.

There was only one explanation. I put the pieces together, and then rushed off back to the house to continue packing my things. I inspected my face as best I could without a mirror before dashing out into the road. I walked at a fast human pace because I could smell human activity from the forest line.

I smiled at those who smiled at me, waved when they waved, ignored them when they ignored me. One, my neighbour, whose name escapes me still, said hello with the intent of having a chat with me. She was probably going to comment on how pale I looked that day or if I had done something with my hair because I just looked different for some reason. I didn't let her talk to me though, I marched to my front door, closed the door behind me, and went straight to my bedroom to clean up the mess that was my dresser.

My thoughts brought me back to the muggy smell frequently. I knew that, from Bella's memories, vampires didn't like a werewolf's scent and werewolves didn't like a vampire's scent. The only explanation was that it was a werewolf's scent.

Not only one though, there were at least two. Maybe more...it was hard to tell with how strong the smell was. There wasn't a single line of it either, there were two distinct paths, one stronger than the other.

One was Jared. But who was the other? And how many were there?

A thought crossed my mind, one that shouldn't have. I wasn't sure, after leaving so quickly, should I go back? If they were in trouble...I couldn't leave. I hated to imagine Edward having to go face to face with angry werewolves that thought that Bella was dead. And, other than Edward, other than his wonderful family, Bella was going to be right in the middle of it all. She was as new to this vampire thing as I was. With her memories twined in with mine, I knew everything she knew. And, more than just knowing what she knew, I could feel exactly what she would be feeling. She would be torn between her two loves—her family and those who might have been her family.

And...Jared was there too.

* * *

"They're here."

Bella turned to me, her eyes saddened and worried.

"Don't worry," I assured her. "Every thing will be just fine."

"Edward," she sighed. She shook her head and closed her eyes. "How am I going to explain this?"

"I'll think of something," I promised.

"No, I should explain this," she argued. "I think it's better if they hear it from me."

_Edward_, Rosalie thought, _she may not be able to handle herself_ _yet_.

"What's their intention?" Carlisle asked.

It was difficult to concentrate on their thoughts. They were usual in sync, but, right now, they had split interests. I picked one train of thought out right away. He was the easiest to understand.

_There's one more of them than usual_, Jacob thought. _Could it be_...?

_Jacob_, _concentrate on my baby first_! Leah interrupted.

"It seems they do think that Bella is here," I said. "But they're here for more than one reason." I faced Jared, who was still waiting, looking rather out of place and nervous. "Your mother is here solely for you."

"Right," Jared grunted. "Just what I need."

"Jared," Bella gasped, spinning around to face him. "You're still here!"

"Of course," he said, surprised at Bella's words. "We can't all speed out of here at a vampiric speeds."

"No, no. You can be our white flag," she explained. "If you're here, and you've been here for a while, they'll see that we're still peaceful and not up to anything dangerous, right?"

"They will," Jared agreed, seeming to put a lot of thought into his answer. "My mother may not see it that way, but she won't be able to convince the others as long as my—as long as Jacob keeps a cool head. He's told me that they'll listen to him, and I've seen, in his thoughts, that they trust him. If we convince him, we'll convince them all."

"Then you will be our white flag," Bella announced. Her eyes—brilliant, blood red—were bright with excitement. She looked to me to agree with her idea. "What do you think?"

I had to admit, having proof that we were not causing any trouble would work to our advantage. I wanted to avoid showing Bella around though, and having Jared explain what we had been up to would call for her to explain. I didn't want her in the spotlight; I didn't want to put any pressure on her.

"I think it's a brilliant idea," Alice cheered.

"As long as Jared is fine with it," Esme added.

"Sure, sure," Jared agreed.

"From what Edward said, they're not here to cause trouble, and, if Jared's right, all we need is to convince Jacob and we won't be seen as a threat anymore," Jasper summarized. "I say Bella's plan is best."

"We may still have to leave Forks though," Rosalie piped up. "That's another reason they're here, right?"

She had been asking me, so I nodded once. "It is."

"We're not leaving Forks," Alice said. She looked at me, and allowed me to see her thoughts. I found what she had seen, and, clearly, we were in Forks. All of us, not only Bella with us, but two more than our total number.

_They must know we're here_, _right_? Leah thought, a growl escaping her throat.

_Why are they taking so long_? thought a new wolf, one I had never encountered before.

"They're getting impatient," I announced.

"So, Bella's plan or we just go out there and make it up as we go?" Jared questioned.

"It's Bella's plan or nothing," Alice said, her eyes trained on me, telling me in her mind that she couldn't see much of a future is we didn't choose this.

I faced Bella. Her paled hand flashed to my shoulder. Her ruby eyes were pleading with me to agree. Her lips, full and inviting, were puckered into a pout. I missed her fluttering heartbeat, how it had always raced whenever she touched me.

"Just as Alice said, Bella's plan or nothing," I said, smiling crookedly at Bella. Her face lit up, and the corners of her lips lifted into a warm smile. "So, Bella's plan it is."

"Thank you," Bella whispered, her voice more beautiful than I had ever heard it. I missed the frailty, the humanity, in her voice, but, still, she sounded like a siren to my ears.

"Let's go," Emmett said impatiently. _I really wanted the plan that allowed us to pound on them_.

I chuckled. Bella's lips twitched, and her smile widened. She slid her fingers down my arm and took my hand. Her hand wasn't warm, like it used to be, but the tight grip she held on my hand made me notice something I hadn't before.

When Bella was human, she had held onto me with all her strength. I hadn't noticed how she had clung to me. Had she been that desperate for me? As desperate for me as I was for her?

"Should I go first then?" Jared asked.

I nodded. "Warn them that we are coming out—_all_ of us."

Jared nodded once, opened the door, and then slid out without another word.

"We shouldn't shock them," Emmett suggested. "We should let Bella make her grand entrance last." _Just in case_..._I'll be ready for them to react badly_.

Emmett grinned, which gave Bella a big enough hint to why it would be better if she revealed herself, alive and changed, last. Her eyes windened, slightly, and her grip and my hand tightened. I was surprised by it, but I didn't let my surprise show, I gave her hand a quick squeeze.

_I'm not so sure about this_.

I turned to see Rosalie's scowl, and wasn't surprised by her less than optimistic thoughts.

"Their mood is better," Jasper noted.

"So far, so good," I agreed.

Bella smirked, bragging a little that her idea was good after all.

_This is going to work_, _this is going to work_, Alice repeated to herself, sounding more and more assured the more she repeated it. As well, Jasper's influence helped calm her mind, for he had sensed her small trace of worry. She smiled thankfully at him.

So far, so good.

* * *

I stepped outside and faced a pack of very agitated werewolves. They had been expecting a bloodsucker and out came me. They snarled when the door opened, but were silent when they saw it was me. I knew everyone there, but I didn't know who was who because I had never seen their wolf forms before.

Obviously I recognized the annoying parental units, parked right in front. Mom's tail perked up, wagged, acting excited to see me. Then, her tail dropped and she growled at me. I rolled my eyes and ignored her. There was only one person who would actually take time to listen to me; she wasn't that person and would never be.

I turned to Dad, looking as big and impressive as ever, eyes concentrated on me and completely calm. I took a deep breath, scanned over the pack one more time, and then finally came to rest, my eyes focused deeply in his. He was willing to listen; I was willing to explain.

"I think I know why you're all here," I said. "And I swear the Cullens aren't up to anything and they're willing to leave if they have to, but they don't want to if they can help it. This is their home afterall."

A growl rippled through the pack at that statement. This wasn't going to be easy.

"I don't know what you've heard from Jacob and Leah, but some of it is true," I said (and ignored the slight shock that Dad and Mom exhibited at me using their names). "You'll see that the rumors about Bella Swan are kind of true."

Dad froze at that. I saw heads swivel, and then they all turned to him, reading into whatever my statement had meant. Obviously, he had told them very little about that. They all knew now though, and their heads turned to me now, completely intrigued by what I was saying. I had their attention now.

"I'm not sure how to explain this to you," I admitted. "There's a lot to explain." They waited. "But you can trust them, still."

No one moved. They were waiting for me to convince them—either to trust or to doubt. I wasn't sure how I was going to get my point across; how was I going to explain well enough to protect the Cullens?

There was one option, the quick way, but I really wanted to avoid that option if I could. I really wanted to keep a single form.

There wasn't another way though. I wasn't that creative, and I only knew what I had seen and what Stephanie had told me. That wasn't enough to go on with just an explanation. If they could _see_ it all, then maybe they could understand.

I sighed and prepared myself to endure another moment as the monster.

"I think the best explanation is a visual rather than my lame attempt to explain in words," I announced. "I'll show you why you don't have to cause a big fuss over this."

I took in a deep breath, dragged up whatever residual anger I had still inside me, felt my body shake, and then, so quickly, my human skin was gone, changed into fur. So, there I was, a werewolf on the Cullens doorstep.

I eyed every last one of them. Some of them, from what I could hear from their thoughts, were shocked that I could change so quickly so soon. Some thought I was a lot like my father. The youngest one was jealous that I was the quicker change, and that I was bigger.

I ignored their thoughts, pushed them aside, and then commanded their attention (more like asked for it nicely).

_We're listening_, Dad promised. And, just as he said that, they were all listening.

And, from that point, I dove into the explanation.

The starting point was the most difficult to chose. I had no idea where to start, but, my mind chose for me. I pictured Stephanie's face, and her explanation. The pack picked up on the face, realized I had imprinted on her (which was embarrassing), and they became intrigued. I knew that it was because their thoughts were intertwining with mine, that because they were reading my thoughts their own thoughts were integrated with mine, I had drawn them in one-hundred-percent.

From there, I needed only to share with them what Stephanie had told me. I told them that there was a chance to bring Bella back to life, and Edward had taken it. I showed them that Bella had come back through Stephanie, and I showed them that the only way to bring Bella back and allow Stephanie her life was to change them into vampires.

Now, the pack didn't like this at all. I didn't blame them; I didn't like that their was no choice in the matter either. They didn't like it, not only because of the lack of choice, but also because there were two more vampires in the world they had to worry about.

Dad's thoughts were darting all over the place. He tried to focus on what I was telling the pack, but then he was thinking about Bella, about the fact that she was alive, and about the fact that she was dead again, but in a very different way.

I shared the rest (editing out the memories of Bella and Stephanie screaming), and brought them up to this moment. The most convincing moments were when I shared the Cullens reasoning to keep peace, and how turning Bella and Stephanie into vampires was their last option.

They seemed almost convinced, but not quite. But what more could I share with them?

That's when the parade started. The Cullens came outside, looking like they were simply meeting new neighbours rather than trying to convince a pack of werewolves that they were completely innocent.

I had done the best I could, the rest was out of my hands.

* * *

Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice. I knew them well enough to know their names, but that was it. I didn't want familiarity with them.

I hadn't thought that I would ever have to see them again. Yet, here I was, again. When was the last time I had been here? Ah, the night before the wedding.

I had ran away, and then, that night, I came back, to convince Bella not to marry Edward. Of course she had refused anything I offered her. What had I been expecting? It was so long ago...I know saw how clear it was that Bella would want Edward over me. She loved him, plain and simple, complicated and confusing. I had once thought that the only one I could ever love was her, and, that night, I thought that if I wasn't with Bella, I would never get married.

I loved Leah now, but my old feelings for Bella sparked in my heart, just knowing she was alive. I could feel Leah's worry as she read through my thoughts. I hated hurting her, but my thoughts drifted on their own to imagining seeing Bella again.

What would she look like? She had been dead for eighteen years. Had she changed because of that? Or does dying not change someone? Because she was a vampire now, would she be different? Would she be as cold as they were? Would I love her again, changed or not?

Edward hadn't come out yet, and, if Bella was as alive as Jared had said, then she would be with him. I wasn't sure if I wanted to face this, but, I had to, because I was already here. I had made my choice, and I had chosen for the pack's sake, more than my own. But, the question that I needed answered was whether or not she wanted to see me again...was she feeling what I was feeling about this unexpected meeting?

That was when she came out. Edward held her hand, as if to give her courage, but she seemed completely calm. Her eyes immediately trained on me. She showed how nervous she was then.

I was stunned by how much she had changed. Her hair, although the same colour and look, was so much longer. She was a more realistic looking Rapunzel, with hair down to her knees. Her skin was milky white. Her eyes though, were the biggest change, because they were red. She glowed with beauty, with anxiety, and with courage. The mix of emotions coming off her were easily read—she was Bella after all; she had never been very good at lying.

"Jacob," she said; her voice was barely audible.

I automatically moved forward. I felt Leah stiffen beside me.

_Bella Swan_, Leah thought, and then she started growling. _Why now_? _After all this time_?

"So we meet again," Emmett chuckled quietly. He was heard. But his attempt at humor was pointless.

"Please, forgive us if we've caused you any worry," Carlisle said, his voice clear and calm. "That was not our intention."

"We don't want a fight," Emmett said, sounding sarcastic; not at all sincere.

"We only wanted Bella back," Alice chimed, gesturing to Bella, who smiled shyly at the attention drawn to her. "And now, she is. That's all. Whatever else you think we've done, please, share with us."

_You broke the treaty_, I growled, eyes fixated on Edward.

"Jacob would like to point out that we broke the treaty," Edward shared with the others.

"But that isn't exactly true, is it, Jacob?" he continued, grinning a lopsided smile, looking rather smug. He had gotten my hint. "The new treaty stated that we could bite a human only to save their life with their consent."

_Did the human consent_? asked Embry.

"They want to know if the human consented," Edward explained. (Bella had noticed Embry's low growl and had turned to Edward to question him.)

"I consented," she assured him.

She was half lying. Bella's lying skills hadn't improved.

It was true what she had said though. Or, at least, it was true enough to count. As Jared had explained, there wasn't much choice. Of course she would agree to anything to make sure that Edward and the Cullens were safe, and to be with him, but she still had a half lie. Knowing Bella, she had probably not wanted to agree because of the other human involved, who would have less of a choice (or no choice at all).

_Exactly_, Embry thought. _Did the other human agree_?

Edward stiffened. That was not a question he had the answer to. Had they even bothered to ask her?

_Stephanie_, Jared realized. _I'm not sure_. _She wasn't exactly conscious during this whole thing_. _Only Bella would know what she said_.

_So_? I asked. _What about the other human_? _Ask_ Bella.

Edward hesitated. His eyes flashed to Bella, and she caught his eyes, and she knew immediately that we were talking about her. She looked at me, and she stared into my eyes for the longest second of my life, tied with the second I had realized I loved Leah, tied with the second Jared was born, and tied with the second I found out my second son was stillborn.

"What are they asking?" she questioned, her eyes finally catching Edward's again.

"They are asking if the other human consented," he explained.

I picked up another scent—another sickly sweet scent. There was another vampire, coming from behind us. The rest of my pack noticed. Their ears perked as they listened for the new vampires entrance.

I heard shy laughter, and the new vampire was here.

"I don't think I've ever had that many people excited over me passing through," the girl said, sounding nervous, even through her act of false confidence.

I could see the similarity between her and Bella, as I had when Jared had explained the riddle of this girl's being to me. Except, she looked a little more unique now. Somehow, from becoming a vampire, I guess, made her more herself. Her brownish-blond hair curled over her bare, white shoulders and was barely moved by the slight breeze. The wind was icy, but she was only wearing a shirt with thin straps and shorts. She was, just as other vampires, not affected by the cold.

_Stephanie_, Jared thought, his mind focusing entirely on her appearance, losing track of all the rest that was happening around him. _She didn't leave_.

"Hi...everyone," she greeted, moving at a speed that would be an incredibly fast walk for a human—but was definitely slow for her. (I could tell by the ease she exhibited as she moved toward where the Cullens stood.)

"I was worried," she explained, answering their questioning expressions. "When I caught their scents...all of thei many, many scents...I...I was worried, so I came."

Edward smiled at her, and she looked shyly away.

"Thank you," Esme said. "We were a little worried for you."

"And for the human population of Forks, too, I'm sure," she grumbled.

"For you," Esme repeated softly. The girl, Stephanie, smiled thankfully at her.

Stephanie's eyes were a different red than Bella's. More orange really. When she scanned the crowd with her red-orange eyes, they fell on Jared. Her eyes locked with his for an instant, and, somehow, she knew who he was.

_She recognizes me_, Jared thought, completely astounded. _How_?

"You came back to see us!" Alice cheered, swinging her arms around Stephanie and hugging her tightly.

"I was worried," Stephanie repeated, staying stiffly inside Alice's grip.

"We have a little problem," Carlisle said, interrupting the feel-good moment. "We would appreciate it if you could solve it for us. And, please, be honest and don't speak for our account."

"A little problem?" Stephanie echoed as Alice released her. Stephanie turned to Edward to answer her.

"They would like to know if you consented to becoming a vampire, since it was the only way to keep both Bella and yourself alive," Edward answered.

"Yes, that's what I heard," she sighed.

"You must have exceptional good hearing," Bella said. "Or were you not very far away?"

"I'm a vampire, Bella," Stephanie reminded her. "I do have exceptional good hearing."

Bella shrugged, pretending not to be effected by the lack of humor in Stephanie's joke.

My pack and I were still waiting, and Stephanie now turned to face us. We readied ourselves to hear her answer. Some of us, like me, hoped she had consented, so there was no need for trouble, just as Jared and the Cullens had insisted. Others, like Embry and Leah, wanted a reason to chew the vampires out a little more.

All of us were surprised, both by her answer and how she spoke. Her voice was commanding, strong, and it demanded all our attention, so that our thoughts completely cleared, leaving only an echo of her words in our minds. No one thought anything else, not even reflecting over her words; we were captivated.

"There really is no need to answer such a silly question," Stephanie said. "I can't please any of you with a single answer. Leah, I assure you that none of the vampires ever asked me if I wanted this. And that's the answer you want, isn't it? But, here's the twist, Leah, Embry, Sam." Her eyes flashed to each of them, somehow knowing each of them. "It was exactly as Jared said, Bella would be the only one to know the answer. She did not ask me. However, I did give my consent. I was willing to do anything to keep Bella alive. I'm sure that all of you can understand that I chose this as my last option. After all, would you choose to be what you are, if you had the choice? With Seth being the exception."

Stephanie smiled tentatively at Seth, who, just as she had said, would choose to be a werewolf if given the choice. Many of us liked what we were, and had gotten used to it, but being normal, being not us, would be a better option.

"So, I did consent," she summarized. "And you really have no business being here. My life was just taken away from me, I don't need to be worrying about what all of you are doing. You have to know that, after fighting off all those newborns eighteen years ago, how dangerous newborns are, right?"

And we knew. Jared flipped through the memories being thrown at him, and was stunned a little when my memory of saving Leah flashed to my mind. I tried not to think about what happened before that battle too much...and thankfully both Jared and Leah were thinking on other things at the moment and didn't explore that too extensively.

"So, Sam, Emily is busy throwing a birthday party in an hour, wouldn't you rather be there than trying to bug a bunch of very busy vampires?" Stephanie suggested. "And, Seth, your girlfriend really freaked out on you the last time you were late. Do you want to explain to her that you happen to be living the whole 'Thriller' thing? I don't think she would appreciate you delivering the excuse that you're a werewolf for why you're late for another date." She paused and her eyes scanned over my pack again. "And I know quite a few of you are just here because you have nothing else to do. I don't think starting a war is what you should do when bored. Just saying."

The Cullens seemed just as surprised as we were that Stephanie was saying such strange things. She was right, but how? It couldn't be that she could read minds because we hadn't been thinking about those things.

"That's my answer to your question," Stephanie said, her voice suddenly losing it's pull, and our individual thoughts returned to us.. "The treaty wasn't broken. And I don't think there will be any new werewolves coming along. Right, Alice?" Stephanie glanced over her shoulder and Alice nodded her head.

Alice looked puzzled for a second, but then her eyes sparked with understanding. She giggled.

"You won't be seeing us again," Alice announced, turning to my pack now. "You'll have no reason to."

_Good_, Embry grunted.

_I see no reason to stay_, Quil agreed.

_Emily does need help with the kids_, Sam recalled. _I promised to help her out_. _And I see no reason to start an unnecessary war_. _It's up to you_, _Jacob_.

_As long as Jared is coming with us this time_, Leah bargained. _Otherwise I'll start a war with _him.

_I have to say goodbye to Stephanie_, Jared insisted. _She said she was leaving_, _and I don't think that's changed_.

_If you want to_..._try and convince her to stay_, I told him. He nodded once. I looked around my pack, they had been convinced. There was no reason for conflict here.

_Alright_, _let's go_, I ordered. _And let's try not to see them ever again_, _okay_?

I heard a few grunts of agreement, but also a few delighted in seeing the Cullens again to tear their throats out. I couldn't believe that Leah and Embry were being so violent. Usually they disagreed with each other.

One by one, we turned around, and then, as a pack, we left. I took another second extra to turn around. Bella had caught my eyes, and I had caught hers. I was going to have to say goodbye to her properly. But, later.

I took off behind my pack, and hid my thoughts, thinking of of strange Stephanie's ability to captivate us and know our past thoughts were. I would plan a way to seek out Bella when my thoughts were my own.

* * *

I gawked. I know nothing should surprise me anymore, but, since the others were a little surprised too (excluding Alice, who always knew anything anyway) I realized that this must be something actually surprising.

"How did you know those things? Did Jared tell you?" I asked.

"No, he didn't tell me those things," Stephanie answered slowly, her face looking just as puzzled as I'm sure mine did. "This is going to sound strange, but...I think I could see their memories. I could see those things...kind of like...scenes from a movie, like flashbacks. They came at just the right moment too. Lucky me."

"Lucky us," Emmett corrected. "They ran away quick thanks to what you said." Emmett chuckled and shook his head. "I can't believe that Seth has a girlfriend that puts up with him."

"She's pretty decent too," Stephanie said, equally shocked. "I'm not sure what she sees in him."

"So, we're not going to see them again?" Jasper asked, directing his question at Alice.

"Nope," Alice grinned. "The only werewolf we'll see again is Jared—and he's going to call over first."

"Speaking of Jared," I remembered, gesturing to where he was still waiting. He had stepped back to give us vampires (how weird that sounded) some space, just a little ways on the driveway. He was clearly waiting for Stephanie.

"Goodbye and good luck to you all," Stephanie said. She didn't look at anyone but me. She smiled at me. "Isabella Swan, if you want to fill seats, send me an invite to the wedding."

"I forgot about that," I sighed.

"How easily you forget life changing decisions," Stephanie laughed. "But, do think of me, okay? I promise you that I can't forget you." Her eyes flashed to Edward. "Any of you."

"We'll think of you," Alice promised. "And you'll see us on more than one occasion too."

"This isn't goodbye?" Stephanie seemed delightfully surprised. Her lips twitched into a genuine smile.

"Only goodbye for now," Edward assured her, smiling crookedly and wiping the smile off her face. "We look forward to the next time we meet. All of us do."

She nodded her head, and then turned to face away from us. "Goodbye for now then," she muttered. She stalked passed us all, and kept going passed Jared too. He bowed his head toward us and then skipped happily along after her. She sped up when she was in the treeline, but he somehow managed to keep up with her. They vanished out of sight in a short while, thanks to their blinding speeds.

"Oh, I lied," Alice scowled. "One more visit. It's for you, Bella."

"What?" Who would...? Oh. "Is it Jacob?" She nodded. "Is it a long visit?" She nodded again. I sighed.

"It doesn't have to be, Bella," Edward assured me.

"No, I have to do this," I said solemnly. "I did die, Edward. I know how hard that was for you, and it couldn't have been easy for him either. He was my best friend. I _want_ to say our last goodbye."

"Yep, long visit," Alice told me. "One hour."

"I think..." I stopped myself, and looked down to avoid eye contact. "I think," I repeated, "I need a little snack. I'm really thirsty."

Edward nodded his head. "Let's go."

I nodded my head absentmindedly, bobbing my head for such a long time that I almost forgot what question I was answering.

"Is it alright if I take you, Bella?" Edward asked.

"I want you," I told him.

He smiled his crooked smile and I waited for my heart to beat wildly and my face to turn red. That didn't happen, and I found myself smiling. Finally, my body wasn't misbehaving on me. I was in control. (Ha, take that me!)

"I need to go too," Alice admitted. "Jasper?" He nodded. "Oh, good. We all have hunting partners."

"You knew I would say yes," Jasper teased softly.

"Yes, and I also know that Rosalie will say no, so Emmett will say no," Alice smirked.

"What?" Emmett gaped. "I'm going!"

"Emmett," Rosalie said in a small, begging voice. "I need you for something."

"Uh, Alice, I am not going," he said reproachfully.

"Always right," Alice bragged.

"I have a shift at the hospital," Carlisle said. "I was going to call and cancel...but this is my first day back, so it would be better not to cancel. If you don't need me, that is."

"We're fine," Edward assured him, somehow seeing in my face that I wanted the hunting party to be very small.

"And Esme wants to wait for when Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie go," Alice finished.

"Then let's go," I said, trying to sound polite, but I was very, very thirsty, and...I was beginning to think that I needed some private talk time with Edward.

"Don't worry, Bella," Alice stage-whispered to me, and then winked. "You'll have plenty of time for you and Edward."

"You'll hardly see us," Jasper promised.

"Thanks," I mumbled, feeling a little embarrased that my plan was out. What would Edward say now that he was expecting me to bring up a private conversation?

* * *

God, he followed me to my house! How was I going to explain that? I mean, first I look all different and paler than usual and now I have a giant wolf-bear-dog following me home. I couldn't say "Oh, I turned into a vampire and this is my werewolf friend," because that wouldn't go over well.

Thankfully, no one was outside, and I had zipped into my house so fast (and he had followed) and I had shut the door behind me (us). I hadn't seen anyone outside, and as far as inside their houses...if they had been looking, they would have seen a flash of white and a flash of silvery-black. What were they going to make of that? A ying-yang symbol walking into the neighbours house? (Okay, so maybe there's no silver in the ying-yang symbol, but all I could think of that was white and black that wasn't actually us was that particular symbol. I wasn't that creative.)

Once I had the door locked—just in case the police, aka Charlie, was across the street or there was a nosy neighbour who had seen the ying-yang flash who wanted to come on in—I let all hell loose.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I demanded. "Are you trying to let the whole world in on the secret lives of vampires and werewolves? Or did you just so caught up in stalking me that you forgot to look both ways before you crossed the street? Did you not see the other houses around here? Normal, human people live around here, you know!"

I paused. I hadn't noticed how big he actually was. I wasn't quite sure how he had managed to fit himself into my doorway. His head was at the same height as mine. I could probably ride him like a horse—maybe offer pony rides? I could put a bridal and saddle on him, attach a fake mane, and then lie to millions of children and their parents, pretending he was a horse.

Then again, there weren't a million people in Forks, so that was impossible.

"You know, I think it will be easier to yell at you when you're not so huge," I told him. He didn't morph or anything, he just stared at me. "I guess you would prefer to make it difficult for me to yell at you, am I right?" Again, no morph or anything, just a stare. "Normally, I would wish for you to speak English, but you already do, you just can't translate your thoughts into normal human language."

I recalled one of Bella's memories at that point, one where Jacob had mentioned that clothes don't materialize on the body when the morphing-into-human part happens.

"I'm going to find you something to wear, okay?" I informed him. "Don't move, cause I'm sure you would break something if you did. I haven't packed up this room yet, so there's some stuff that shouldn't be broken in here."

He kind of bowed his head, and I took that as "Sure, sure," or "That's nice of you, in return I won't break stuff and you can yell at me later."

I ran upstairs and found my box with Phil's stuff in it. Well, actually, there was very little of Phil's stuff still here, but there was one shirt that he hated that Renee had given to him for Father's Day. I didn't understand how it was connected to Father's Day at all. It was white with an alien spaceship on the front with earth below it. Renee had been really into aliens that year, but, still, I didn't see why she had to give that shirt for him. Phil didn't see the connection either, and he only wore it on Father's Day last year, and the year after she got it for him.

Other than that, he really hated it. He had told Issie and I that on more than one occasion.

I figured that I could bring that for Jared. Who could object to an alien shirt (other than Phil)?

As far as pants went...that was the puzzler. Phil had taken all his stuff with him, except for the alien shirt, a toohbrush, the things that Renee still needed to use, and a pair of rather mangled jeans that Renee had intended on sewing back together. She had never gotten around to it. Phil had used them when fixing up the house when we moved here, and, since then, I hadn't seen them until today. I noticed that only the rip in the back pocket had been sewn.

I wished I could remember how he had ripped them so much. I would have to ask him when I saw him again.

I grabbed the jeans, and then carried them and the alien shirt downstairs.

Jared hadn't moved an inch, except for his head, which swiveled in the opposite direction, and then back to where I was standing when he saw me standing there. Apparently, I had made a very silent entry.

"Here," I said, tossing the clothes on the floor. "And you better get dressed and be in human, English speaking form again quickly. I have quite a few things to say to you."

I jumped around the corner, and went up the stairs in a flash. I loved how quick I could move! It was exhilarating. If I had to get my life taken away from me, this was definitely the way to do it.

I taped up a box from my room and hauled it into the hall. I piled on a few more boxes, and then started down the stairs, with four large boxes in my hand, and my vision being the 'THIS SIDE UP' and the arrow pointing to the side that was supposed to be up—but it wasn't.

"Need some help with that?" Jared offered. He took the box that was obstructing my view as well as the one beside it.

"No," I huffed, darting passed him. "But, thanks."

"You're welcome," he replied happily.

I sighed. His perkiness could only mean something bad for me. I was trying to pack and he was actually helping. He hadn't wanted me to leave the last time we spoke, but could that have changed?

"I really should be trying to convince you to stay rather than help you pack," Jared laughed. "But I'm still working on the speech to convince you."

"That's going to be interesting," I grumbled, setting the boxes by the front door. Jared mirrored my actions. He straightened and grinned at me. What a goof.

His smile faded after he realized that my gloomy expression wasn't changing.

"I'm sorry, you needed to yell at me, right?"

He seemed to honestly be waiting for me to yell at him. I didn't know what to say. I dropped my eyes and tried to remember why I had been so angry at him. Well, I hadn't been angry at _him_. I just tended to misdirect my anger at times.

Jared looked so shabby in Phil's ripped jeans (the knees from when Phil wiped out trying out Issie's skateboard, the back of the right leg...the front of the left leg...) and alien shirt. It was funny to see that the jeans were actually short on Jared. Phil had bought them two sizes bigger, if I remembered right, and these barely fit on Jared. (His ankles showed. How tacky.) The alien shirt that had fit rather loosely on Phil was tight on Jared, showing how muscular he was.

I noted that Jared had grown again. He was definately taller than me now, a noticable amount. He was thicker than me as well. I was a slender thing and he was an amateur body builder.

I took another long look at him. Jared wasn't so shabby after all...just the clothes were.

"I'm not going to yell at you," I told him. "I want to say sorry for the last time we spoke. I wasn't very nice because I was being stupid an upset. Please forgive me because I want to be your friend. Ignore all the stupid stuff I said."

"You already apologized when you ran off the first time," he reminded me.

I blanked. "Really?"

He laughed. "You don't remember?"

I shook my head. "No, I remember now," I said grudgingly. "Not that my pathetic miniature sorry counted anyways. This apology is _much_ better."

"I liked the first one equally," Jared disagreed, smirking at me as if he was being funny.

"I assume you forgave me the first time then?" I asked, scowling all the while.

"How could I not?"

"Because I was a jerk!" I snapped.

His smile vanished. I closed my eyes and concentrated on finding my happy place—approximately two years ago—which, honestly, didn't succeed. I did find my 'the grass is greener' point of view, and that was enough to keep me optimistic—as ironic as that was. Maybe the 'grass is greener' expression was a little pessimistic, but it reminded me that both sides had green grass—one may be green_er_, but both were green.

"Look, I'm sorry again," I moaned, throwing my hands in the air and waving them about as I slowly climbed each step to my room—which was a quick pace compared to my old human pace. "I'm awful, I know. Please, try to deal with me. I just became the living dead, so to speak."

"I thought you loved vampires?" he questioned curiously.

But I heard the question he couldn't say aloud, the one that would hurt. It wasn't just that I loved vampires, it was that I loved _a_ vampire.

Sure, I was getting over him, as best as I could—as best as anyone could get over their first love. I had thought he would be my only love (maybe he would still be), so my opinion of him wasn't going to change overnight. I needed time.

"I need to call Renee soon, so don't think you can linger around here practising your 'please stay here' speech all day," I warned him.

I had expected him to be downstairs, but I was surprised to hear his light footsteps quickly moving up each step. I didn't turn around until he had reached the top step.

"I'm going, Jared," I told him again. "I'm not staying in a place where I've lost so many important people. I've told you that!"

I stared at him, arms crossed over my chest, expression stiff and sullen. I realized that our position and expression mirrored perfectly. He didn't move though, he only blinked. And he blinked often.

"You don't have to go," he said quietly.

"Oh, really? You think I should lose some more loved ones to Forks and its heartbreak?" I sneered.

"You won't lose me," he promised.

I sighed in frustration and shook my head at him. "I know you think that now, Jared, but you're just a stupid little mutt and I'm a mean old crabby leech!" I told him. "You'll get older and older, forget all about me, get married, just like your father did! Don't you see, Jared? Don't you understand? It's better if we part now, as friends, before you forget me, so I can pretend that I made one friend off my own merit here in Forks."

"I won't forget you, Stephanie," he swore. His face was stone, unmoving, and very convincing. He looked way older than sixteen.

"But you will!" I argued. "And what if I forget you too? If we say goodbye here, there's no regrets. We don't have to think that we could have been friends, we are friends, Jared. I leave today, and you move on tomorrow. I'll try to move on from Forks soon too."

"Stephanie, I imprinted on you," he announced in a deep, husky voice, filled with all sorts of emotion. "I don't think I can forget you so easily."

"Oh." That wasn't what I was expecting. I was probably wide-eyed and open-mouthed. He was so angered, he seemed to be glaring at me, except his eyes were pleading with me.

"You can get over that," I lied. I didn't sound very convincing, but what else was I supposed to say to news like that? I mean, I had suspected he was attached to me, just as I was to him, but, an _imprint_?

The only memories of Bella's about imprints were without facts. Edward had once said that an imprint's bond was almost as great as his bond to Bella. Bella had once sat at a campfire around the reserve, the Quiluete stories were told, and she saw how deep and sweet the connection was through...whose eyes? Embry? Quil? I couldn't remember. Bella's mind was separate from me now; I couldn't find her mind inside mine anymore.

"That isn't possible," Jared insisted. His eyes seemed to confirm the confidence in his voice. He truly believed he would never get over me. Was that possible?

"Yes, it is," I contradicted. "And you will, the second I leave you can start."

Why were his eyes so glossy? Were they wet?

"Stephanie," he whispered, taking a swift step closer to me, his hands hovering close to me, but not touching. "I love you."

"Crap."

* * *

I paced the yard one more time. The grass was all dead under my feet.

"Rosalie, will you please explain to me what's bothering you?" my love asked.

"One second, Emmett," I told him.

So much had happened. Damn, choices. What kind of choices had we had? Death or a doomed life? I had no choice in my new life. I had made the best of it as I could—Emmett and my family, my home, and Bella too—but I was still cursed.

But what of Stephanie? What of Bella? I knew she had made the choice to become one of us long ago, maybe even the day she found out she knew what her choices were, and she had chosen to curse herself. That was her choice. But...still, this wasn't how she wanted it to be, right?

She had brought down someone else with her decision as well. It wasn't just herself being brought down with her choice. Now, I didn't know Stephanie very well, but she didn't deserve to have her choice made for her. I had been forced into this life—not that I blame Carlisle, he's a much better father than the man who married my birth mother all those years ago—and I knew that no one should ever have their choices taken away from them.

"Emmett, I am going to see Stephanie," I announced, halting my pacing. I turned to him, and watched his expression change from surprise to understanding. "You are coming with me, right?"

"Definitely," he grinned sweetly.

"Let us not dawdle, hm?" I said, quickly leaving him behind in my heels with my sudden decision to run.

He caught up quickly, and then, minutes later, I caught her scent and found her house, with a moving truck parked in the front with boxes half-loaded inside it with (and the other half laying on the grass of her front lawn).

I knew that whatever I said to her wasn't planned out, that I would have to be careful to make her understand, but, nevertheless, it had to be done.

* * *

Next time, last chapter? Maybe. I'm thinking second last now. Last or second last 100 certainty. REVIEW!


	21. Chapter 21: Shimmy, Shimmy, Quarter Turn

"**When you smiled, you had my undivided attention. When you laughed, you had my urge to laugh with you. When you cried, you had my urge to hold you. When you said you loved me, you had my heart forever." — unknown.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 21: Shimmy, Shimmy, Quarter Turn**

"Stephanie—"

"No, no, no! I heard you the first time!" I shouted, pushing passed Jared and running down the stairs with a speed that blinded him. I paced at the bottom of the stairs, while Jared's eyes finally located where I had raced off to.

"And?" he prompted, his voice lined with bitter nervousness, taking his sweet time down the stairs.

"And nothing," I spat, coming to a halt. "You can't spring those two touchy subjects on me all at once and expect a quick reaction. Just because I'm a super-speedy, super-swauve, super-duper vampire now doesn't mean I comprehend at a faster rate."

"So, what, you feel nothing?" he asked, his eyes looking even wetter now. Was he crying? Please, no.

"Oh, Jared," I laughed coldly. "I feel something. I feel like"—I slammed my fist into my right hand several times and then spun on me heels a few times, laughing madly out of frustration—"like that was your head, okay? I feel like I want to whack you in the head a few times. But, seeing as that would crush your skull literally, I will just ponder for a few more seconds."

"You're angry," he summarized. "You're angry at me."

"Yes, you," I seethed, stopping stone-still as he reached the bottom step. I glared at him for a second, before his eyes, so desperate and sad, finally won me over. I closed my eyes and tried to recollect myself, before I did any more damage.

Okay, an imprint. There was nothing either of us could do about that. He didn't choose to imprint on me; no one could choose to imprint or on whom they imprinted. No one was to blame. This wasn't a fixable problem. But, if I remembered Bella's memory right, an imprint didn't necessarily mean _love_.

"Jared?"

"Yes?"

"When did this imprint occur?" Not that it mattered, not to fix whatever I could fix, but because I was curious. How long had he been keeping this a secret from me?

"The second time we met in the graveyard," he replied grudgingly. "Why does that matter?"

"It doesn't, I just wanted to know."

So, he hadn't been keeping it from me that long. We had only met in the graveyard once after that, the time I told him I was leaving because I was expecting Bella to return (and I had been right). After that, I had turned into a vampire, so that wouldn't have been good timing.

"And an imprint doesn't mean you have to love me," I said, trying to keep my tone positive, although the more I said, the more bitter Jared looked.

"We could be really good friends, Jared. And maybe I'll come visit you more often," I suggested, liking the idea of visiting him more than I had thought I would. "Not every ten years. That's too long. Maybe five? Or less. I have to come around this area for a wedding at the end of the summer. I promise to come see you then."

"And after that?" His tone was bleak; he doubted my promise.

I shrugged. "We'll work it out."

"I have a solution, I'll come with you, to wherever you're going."

I gawked at him. "What? To my parents house?"

"We're really good friends, remember? You're parents can't object to me." He grinned, but the emotion didn't reach his eyes, which were still teary. "That way we don't have to worry about when we'll see each other next."

"No, Jared," I said through clenched teeth. "I'm going; you're staying here."

"But you won't come again," he whispered. "Not for a long time, Stephanie. I don't think I'll last long without you."

I bit my tongue. His words hurt a lot, because I could associate myself with them, with words I would have said to Edward, once upon a time.

No, not once upon a time. I would say those words to Edward every second of every day if it meant I could keep him, if I could guilt him into wanting me close by. But that wasn't what was good for him, and keeping me here wasn't good for me now. I couldn't risk my happiness for Jared, not right _now_.

But what about Jared's happiness? He was just as mythologically messed up as I was. He didn't deserve to have his happiness taken away. Jared deserved every happiness that was possible in his situation. He deserved better than anyone for being so sweet. He had willingly wandered to the front door of a house that he knew vampires lived in all because I trusted them, and he put his life at stake because he believed there was no danger there, because I had said so.

So what was I to do? Seek out my happiness or protect Jared's happiness? Or were they the same thing? Wouldn't making Jared happy, make me happy?

I sighed and watched the floor — looking like I was inspecting for dust — while taking one last second to review my options.

Option one: I could leave. It was a rather simple action, but had many complicated results. Maybe I wouldn't be happy, because Forks really had been my one true home. But the place I belonged had the people I would never belong with, and I didn't want to stick around, moaning and complaining, and overall ruining their eternities together.

Option two: I could stay. I would keep my only real friend happy, in turn maybe making me happy, and I could be the nosy neighbour to the Cullens — always running over when they're in the middle of some fun, asking for a cup of sugar, interrupting Isabella and Edward's sweet little private moments. Basically a good time for me. Except, then I would see Edward with Isabella Swan, who would soon probably be Isabella Cullen.

Option three: ...

Okay, so there was no third option. I couldn't stay in this house any longer. If not just because of the close proximity to the Cullens — all eight of them — than because it would be hard knowing that I was living here, without Issie, in a house that we both could have been happy in. If she hadn't...been lost, so early, maybe we could have been like the show What I Like About You, two sister's in the same househole, getting into crazy stuff but always followed by the cheesy in-studio laughter. But, that wasn't possible. Is was dead. Just as dead as Bella had been...

"You're not going to stay, are you?" Jared asked, seeming to have given up.

I stared at him for a long while. His eyes were definately teary, and I had a very strong erge to hug him, to tell him that I would stay, just for him. His expression though, so firm, so determined, so certain, made me think otherwise. Leaving was best for me, but could it also be best for him? He was a werewolf; I was a vampire. He would be an outcast from his pack, being the one who was the vampire's BFF. If I allowed that, I wouldn't be a good friend at all. Just like Issie had always done for me, distancing herself from my social circle, because she was considered the odd one, I would distance myself from Jared. At the very least until he was used to the werewolf thing, until he was used to his pack and the way things were done. Until then, it was better for both of us if I left.

"No, Jared," I answered solemnly. "I'm not going to stay. But not because I don't want to; I have to, for both our sakes."

"What don't you get about 'I don't think I'll last long without you'?" he questioned, still only seeing his side of logic.

"Not to long, then," I promised. "Jared, I promise you, whatever it costs me, I will come back to Forks, solely to see you in...I don't know, how many years is best for you?"

"None."

"Higher, please," I snorted. "I'm bargaining, so, please, work with me."

"One."

"Okay, you're being ridiculous," I scowled. "Pick a reasonable number, reasonable for both of us."

He pondered silently, deliberating between what he wanted, and he thought I wanted. His eyes were less teary — proof that he was trusting that I really would come back. And I was going to come back.

"What's reasonable to you?" he asked.

"I...I'm not sure." What was reasonable to me? I wanted time, but how much was enough? For sure I wasn't going to visit again next year when I had Cat's wedding at the end of the summer. But, how long after that?

"In two years, I'll be done school," Jared announced. "And you're already finished, unless you plan on continuing...?"

Good question, did I plan on actually doing something with my life? If I did, I would need time for that.

"Four years, Jared," I bargained. "Can you live with that?"

"Do I have a choice?" he retorted.

"Yes. You don't have to wait at all." Which would be better for him.

"That's not an option," he growled, catching me off-guard. I had been expecting one of his more gentle responses, not anger.

"Fine, then!" I shouted, taking a step back from him. He took a step closer.

"Four years, Steph," he said calmly, his eyes blazing with frustration. "I had better see you then, or else I'm going to come after you."

"Ha! I dare you to try that," I laughed icily. "I'm not weak, remember? If you bug me, I won't hold back."

He opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. He was stumped speechless by my threat. His eyes were widened, and I could see that I had inflicted more pain, something I had hoped to avoid.

"You really feel that strongly?" he whispered. "You must hate me a lot then. More than I thought."

I gaped. "Hate you? Jared, I don't hate you! How could I hate you?"

He shrugged. His eyes swept over me, and then he watched the floor intently — inspecting for dust.

"Jared, I don't hate you." My words were firm, surely he could believe me?

"Then why are you so angry with me? Please, tell me what I've done. If just looking at me makes you angry, then I'll wear a mask or something whenever I see you. If it's my voice, I won't talk. As long as you talk to me."

He wouldn't look at me. Obviously, the floor was more interesting than I thought — or it needed a mop, broom, and a million cleaning supplies to get all that time-occupying dust away. Whatever the case was, he wasn't looking at me, and I was getting annoyed that his eyes seemed more attracted to the floor than me. What did the floor have that I didn't? Oh, right. It didn't have a temper.

I took a step closer to him, and lifted his chin with my hand, so he would look at me. He did; he stared right into my eyes — his angry, leaking eyes.

"I'm not worth it, Jared," I told him. "So don't cry over me, okay? You're worth so much more than that."

"You're wrong."

He reached to move my hand, but I wouldn't let him. I was stronger than him, and I wasn't about to stop comforting him because he didn't want to be comforted. I was going to make him happy whether he wanted to be or not.

"I thought you were leaving?" he asked. His eyes stayed on mine, questioning my surprising actions.

"I am."

"But not because I'm a pest?"

I smiled. "No, that's not a good enough reason to leave."

"But I am a pest," he sighed.

"Only a little," I assured him.

"How can I fix that?" he demanded. His hands hovered over me again, to uncertain to go any closer to me. "How can I stop being a nuisance to you? Just tell me what I'm doing wrong. I'd do anything to keep you, Stephanie. I'll do whatever it takes. If I have to hack off limbs, or climb mountains, or take an oath of silence, or never howl at the moon again. Whatever it takes, Stephanie. Name your price. I am all yours."

"But I'm not all _yours_," I explained.

"I know."

"Do you really want damaged goods, Jared? You're not a smart buyer. Trust me, you shouldn't be telling me to pick a price. You need to bargain a little higher. You should be the one demanding a price out of me. I'm the only one who needs to pay. That's why it's better if I take some time to earn my worth back. When I come back, I'll be coming back with a whole heart, not whatever this hollow, unbeating junk is in my chest. You can barter for me then."

"I better save up then," he retorted. "If you're not easy to please with what you consider an un-whole heart, I can only imagine how much you'll be worth when you have a whole heart."

I sighed and shook my head. "In four years, you'll see that you are worth so much more than I am. You'll find someone better."

"Don't count on it," he warned. "I intend to love you until the day I die. And passed that, too."

I dropped my hand from his face and scowled at him. "Just you wait, four years and you'll regret saying that!"

"Nope," he said smugly. "In four years, I will regret not keeping you here longer. That's it."

"Oh, you enjoy wasting my time, then?" I snapped.

"Sorry."

But he wasn't sorry. I could see that very clearly. How was I supposed to keep my temper under control when he was switching from sobs to smugness?

Then he did something rather unexpected. He put his hands on my shoulders — his hands were so warm on my cold skin, I nearly shivered from how good it felt, that warmth — and pulled me closer to him.

"For this, too, I'm sorry," he told me in advanced. He leaned forward, pressed his warm lips softly on mine, and kissed me. He stepped back and waited for my reaction.

I screamed at him and whacked at him, pushing him toward the door.

"Damn it! Damn it! I give you an inch and you take a mile!" I squealed. "Get out of here and don't you dare come back! I swear, if I come back here in four years it's to _kill_ you!"

"Sorry," he laughed. He wasn't afraid of me, at all. He must have seen it in my eyes. Apparently, I wasn't a good liar even as a vampire.

"You go!" I ordered, opening the front door and then shoving him out. I scowled at him, I glared at him, I did every thing I could to gently encourage him to leave before I ripped his head off.

He smiled at me, like a kid caught doing something he wasn't supposed to — but not caring was the consequence was, because he did what he wanted to do. Little jerk.

I hated that his smile was so sweet. He read me so quickly, saw right through my icy outer shell, and that's why he wasn't upset. He could totally tell what was really going through my head. So, I couldn't help smirking at him while I slammed the door in his face.

I slumped against the closed door and laughed. If anyone was listening, they probably thought I had gone crazy. Thank God there was no one who could hear me — except maybe if Jared had his ear pressed against the door, but he didn't seem the creepy enough. Only the creepy type would do that sort of thing.

I couldn't believe it! Maybe I had gone crazy, because, in all honesty, that was the most amazing thing I had ever felt. I had been kidding myself to think that I could leave Forks with no regrets. Now, I would have one major regret. I loved Jared, and I was going to love him forever. I had said the same thing about Edward, and I knew that would always be true. I could only hope that the love I felt for him would turn to more of a friendship or a gentle hum in the background of my mind. But Jared, who had no one else waiting in the wings, could be just as dedicated as I was. Maybe it would work out between us...if I tried really, really hard.

* * *

**"I was like a lost moon—my planet destroyed in some cataclymic, disaster-movie scenerio of desolation—that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind, ignoring the laws of gravity." — Bella, from **_**New Moon**_**.**

Emmett raced behind me, throwing questions at me, asking why I was in such a need to speak with Stephanie. But how was I supposed to explain it to him when I didn't completely understand the need myself? I could tell him only a little.

"She had no choice, Emmett," I told him. "She had her life taken away from her."

_Just like me_.

I had been almost married, to a tyrant, and I could have had a family, and been a wonderful mother, if I had been given the chance. Maybe Stephanie could have had the same. She had loving parents, from what I knew about them, and she had a sister once — a sister who had been taken from her as well, all because of our existence.

We were not supposed to exist. We were supposed to be dead. Me, in that alley, forsaken and hopeless. Edward, of the Spanish influenza. Esme, from her suicide attempt, to join her little boy in heaven. Alice, to the clutches of James, or lost in her own head in a psych ward. Jasper, a war injury, perhaps. My sweet Emmett, to that awful bear. And Carlisle...maybe he would have lived, if not for that vampire attacking him. Maybe he would have died some other way.

We did exist, and I loved all of them, so very much. They were my family. They were more my family than my blood-related family had been.

"Here," I announced, coming to a stand-still.

"Huh, so, about a third the size of our house," Emmett noted. "Now I know why she likes our house better."

"What makes you think she likes our house better?"

He shurrged. "She came over often."

I rolled my eyes. I loved him, but, sometimes, he was a little irksome.

"Are you coming?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course, Rose," he grinned. "You dragged me this far. There's no going back now."

Again, I rolled my eyes. What an adorable oaf.

We came out of the treeline and crossed the street. I heard shrieking, yelling, and then Jared was thrown out the front door.

"You go!" Stephanie ordered, and then, slamming the door, she smirked at him. I could hear her laughing madly from behind the door.

What had he done to her?

"You two," Jared said, stunned upon seeing Emmett and I at the edge of the front yard. "What are you doing here?"

"It's really none of your business, pup," Emmett told him, still using his cheery tone.

"It is if you're here to see Stephanie," he retorted. "Are you here to make her stay?"

"Nope," Emmett answered. "We're not the reasoning crew. That would be you, I would think."

"Yeah, that'd be me," Jared laughed. "I just wanted to know, so I could warn you that the reasoning thing wasn't going to work. But, since that's not what you're here for, be my guest." He stepped aside from the front door, and gestured that he was letting us pass.

"You trust that we won't hurt her?" I asked, surprised that he was still so welcoming. I had thought he was being pleasant only so we would save Stephanie. Apparently not.

He shrugged. "Stephanie trusts you. That's all there is to it."

"I see." But, really, I didn't. I wouldn't trust someone just because Emmett said I could. (The proof of that statement being Bella, since I hadn't trusted her for over a year.)

"You saved her life," Jared explained. "I can't doubt you after that."

"But _I_ didn't save her life, Carlisle and Edward did," I pointed out. "How do you know that Emmett and I are not here to take her life now?"

"I can tell," Jared assured me. "I trust you. Him too."

"A werewolf trusts a pack of vampires," Emmett laughed. "Now that's a good one."

"Have a good laugh if you want," Jared told him, walking passed us with no fear in his posture. He was a picture of ease. "I don't mind a laugh at my expense, so long as I can have a good laugh too."

Crazy little wolf. He crossed the road, and then began walking along, between the road and the treeline, in the direction that lead back to the Quiluete reserve. He left, entirely trusting us, without a second thought. Again, crazy little wolf.

"Interesting pup," Emmett commented, watching the wolf-boy go with his keen eyes. He turned back to face me. His eyes scanned over me, sensing my impatience. "Are you ready to go inside?"

"It's now or never," I told him.

"So, never, then?"

"Now. Let's go."

The door was unlocked, so I opened and stepped inside. Emmett came as well, of course. Stephanie was on the bottom step with a large box balancing on the palm of her left hand. She stared, looking a little stunned, with her mouth popped open just slightly.

"Rosalie? Emmett? Why are you here?"

I didn't answer her. Instead, I looked around. The house was nearly empty. It was hollow, lifeless. There had been a moving truck parked by the curb, packed tightly with room for only a couple more small boxes — or one large box, like the one she had in hand.

"You really are leaving," I observed. "Today. Am I right?" She nodded her head and closed her mouth. "I'm not surprised. I would leave too, if I were in you estate."

"What's wrong with the house? Just because it isn't as perfect as yours?" Stephanie mocked. She was caught up in her surprise, but her expression had changed, more certain.

"I know you've already heard this, but, you don't have to leave," I said, doing my best to smile at her in a pleasant manor. It was difficult, I didn't wear a smile often.

"But I do," she corrected, confirming every thing I had thought about her. "So, I'm going to."

I nodded my head absently. I had been afraid that she was that type. She was clinging to her old life. She didn't have my easy way out. I had taken my small amount of revenge, revelled in it, and my old life was gone, nothing to hold on to but the dream I once had. Stephanie, however, had some presence in the living world still, and she was going to hold on as long as she could.

Her parents were the key to her clinging. And her sister. I could tell that she was trying to live for them, for her parents and for her sister. Stephanie was going to find whatever hapiness she could with what she had leftover. In the choas and the trauma, through the rage of fire and the breaking of her foothold, she was clinging to her liferaft, trying to find the pattern her life had once had, to find the core of herself again. But her old self was gone. Once the change occured, there was nothing left of that old self, only a new self. When a star stops shinning, it's light can continue to reach earth years and years after it's vanished. But, essentially, it is gone, and the light will one day die out too. The best thing to do is to find a new star, and forget the old one.

I, myself, was not a good example of what one should do. I had clung to my dream of a little family, a pleasant household and a loving husband. But I was lucky. I had found a wonderful family and a loving husband — just not in the form I had been expecting.

"Do you plan on coming back here? To Forks?" I questioned, turning my eyes to meet her orange-red ones.

She nodded. "I promised Jared. Four years, and I have to come back. But I kind of have to show up for someone's wedding that's close by here. I think I might not see him then though, because I don't want to come to Forks so soon."

I heard what she couldn't say, that she didn't want to come back to Forks because of Edward, and because of what she had lost here.

"Stephanie, when you come back, please, come see us as well," I pleaded, sounding more desperate than I had intended, shocking both Emmett and Stephanie. "You need to move on, and that's why you're leaving. But don't deny that you have a connection here, and a connection to us. You've become part of our family without any of us thinking you would. I took too long to trust Bella, and I won't make that mistake again."

"Rose," Emmett said in surprise. He could hear the guilt in my tone.

"I think you deserve a chance of happiness, don't you?" I asked, my smile coming a little more naturally his time.

"I don't think Bella's memories are very accurate," Stephanie numbled, eyes wide and moving from me to Emmett, to see if he was as surprised as she was. Thankfully, by this point, he was being completely understanding and was grinning at me.

"How so?" Had Bella's memories registered me as a tyrant? Or had Stephanie seen how mean I had been to Bella?

"Never mind, I think I should base my knowledge of you on personal experience from now on, for all of you," she dodged. "This is my life, happiness or not. I can't expect anything more."

"Yes. You can," I argued. "And since you're in the same situation as the rest of us, we're going to make you happy. I, especially, want you to find happiness, just to prove to myself that it is possible, and to prove it to you."

"Good luck," she mocked.

"You'll see," Emmett murmured. He had faith in me; he would go along with whatever I planned.

"In one hour, Edward is going to leave Bella completely alone so that she can say a proper and final farewell to Jacob Black," I reported, grinning all the while. "At that time, I will just happen to need Alice and Esme's assitance for something very important, and Emmett has decided to challenge Jasper to an important test of wit versus strength—"

"What? I have wit!" Emmett gawked, feigning hurt.

"—while Carlisle is at the hospital," I finished. "Edward will be all alone."

Stephanie stared at me with a look of bewilderment. "Why are you doing this?" she asked, her voice sounding both astonished and completely clued-in.

"Because you need to move on, right?" I smirked and, a second later, her eyes dawned with understanding. "Both of you do, Stephanie. Once Edward moves on, Bella will be happy, you'll be happy, and so will he. Once you move on, Jared will be happy, Edward will be happy, you'll be happy, and hell, I'll be happy."

"Basically, everyone end's up happy once the both of you get a life," Emmett summarized.

Stephanie grinned, and her eyes dashed between the two of us, flashing with delight. "I don't know what to say," she said.

"Thank you is fine," Emmett suggested. "It's old-fashioned, but, hey, why mess with what works?"

"Say you'll take the oppertunity," I told her.

"Thank you," she said. "I definately need this."

I shrugged. "What else is family for?"

She gaped at me. She gaped at Emmett.

"Don't look at me. She said it. I just agree with it," he said, still grinning. What a lovable goof.

"Whenever you're ready, we'll be ready," I promised. "Four years, ten years, one hundred years — whatever. I suggest you take the name Hale. The Cullen thing may not be the best for you."

"Stephanie Hale. Stephanie Cullen." She tried the names different ways, quietly, in different tones, but still surprised each time she repeated the name. "I think Hale does work better," she agreed. "But I'll have to think about it. I do love Cullen afterall."

"I know," I sighed happily (how could I not after doing a good deed and getting my way?). "You have less than an hour now. Be ready."

"Again, thank you," she said, unable to stop smiling. She set the box down, and then leaped forward and hugged me. "Thank you so much Rosalie!"

"Uh, you're welcome..." I patted her back awkwardly. Affection like this wasn't the norm for me, and, since I was no Alice, I hadn't seen that one coming.

"Thank you, too, Emmett!" She flung herself at him next.

"No problem," he assured her, his laughter booming, sounding like his warm, usual self. I hadn't made a mistake. I had made the right choice.

She stepped back, took her box in hand, and her smile was gone. She was serious, as if we were discussing a life-or-death situation — which, maybe to her, it was. Happiness could be considered equal to life to those of us who had already died.

"Less than an hour," she repeated.

"We'll go now," I said, nodding once at Emmett. He stepped back and opened the door for me. "Don't be late."

She nodded at me, her facial expression more determined now — more hopeful.

I smiled at her, and then turned out the doorway, with Emmett at my heels. We stalked swiftly away, and we were halfway home before anything else was said.

"You're sure?" my love asked me.

"Of course I am. You?" I prompted, facing him with a pleasant smile.

"I knew this was coming," he said. "I just wasn't expecting it to be you to make the first move. I thought you wanted to be cautious."

"No, not this time," I laughed. "I made the first move, for once. And I think I may make a habit out of this!"

"So what are you planning to get Alice and Esme out of the picture?" Emmett questioned.

"Nothing too odd," I answered slyly. "Something they would do anyway. Except, sooner than they expected."

"Do I hear wedding bells?" he prompted.

"How did you know, dear?"

"Because Alice, even if she did see your little plan coming, won't be able to resist," he explained. "She'll be ecstatic. And Esme will love being part of it too."

"Alice won't see this coming, she's can't see around Jacob's surprise entrance."

* * *

**"How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn't love you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy." — Edward, from **_**New Moon**_**.**

I was ravenous. My throat itched for the taste of anything. I was edgy, and every sound was a sweet disraction.

I was shocked at every turn that my hands would reach out on their own, and bring the warm nectar of flesh to my lips so quickly. I didn't think about it, I just bit into the twitching, frightened animal with no regard to it at all.

I was disgusted and hated how much I loved the taste of blood. The poor animals! How could I do soemthing so viscious and cruel to them?

But, on the other hand, they would probably die of a similar fate if a bear or wolf was given the chance at them. I only wished vegetables had blood too. Vegetables couldn't squeal and try to scamper away while you bit into them.

I was almost full. I had devoured two rabbits and — to my great shock — a rather irritable grizzly. (And it was yum.)

"Bella, you surprise me," Alice giggled, after seeing the slumped and drained bear at my feet.

"And it takes a lot to do that," Jasper said, grinning more than I had ever seen him grin. (He obviously liked blood, and hunting too, for that matter.)

(Then again, what vampire didn't like blood?)

"I know," I said, totally ashamed of myself.

"I think I hear a rather large stag," Alice said, realizing my obvious discomfort.

"We should find it," Jasper said, probably feeling my shame, and wanting to not cause me any more embarrasment with my bloodied hands being in clear view.

I slumped to the forest floor and stared at the poor bear. It had a frightening effect on me. If I had been human, I would have flinched at the sight of it. The animal itself was scary, but the open wound was startling. I watched as it didn't move, and wondered if I was becoming an animal rights activist all for the sake of one rather sad looking bear.

"Bella," Edward whispered, suddenly behind me, with a hand on my chin, turning me to face him. "I'm sorry."

"He tried to take a swing at me," I said, trying to sound light-hearted. "I don't feel guilty at all."

"You are no better a liar than you were before, Bella," he informed me, giving me his crooked grin, which cheered me up a ton.

"It was worth a try."

I pushed the bear from my mind, and decided that getting far away from it was the best thing I could do. I stood up, and stalked off, heading westward, and stopped only when I couldn't smell the bear anymore. (So, pretty far away.)

Edward had followed me. He wrapped his arms around me, and I spun to face him. I was pouting still, but I was definately cheered up, just because I was with him. He kissed the corner of my lip, and waited for me to object or indicate that I wanted him to kiss me. He seemed worried that his action was inappropriate for how I was feeling.

I leaned kissed his lips gently, and closed my eyes, waiting for his next move. He kissed along my jaw, and the down to my collarbone.

"I wish there was something I could do, to make this easier for you," Edward murmured, drawing a line along my collarbone with his nose.

"This works," I sighed.

He chuckled lightly, but worry remained in his tone. I knew he was going to bring the topic up soon, so I didn't say anything. It was a matter of seconds before his worry bubbled to a point where he had to ask the question.

"So what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Ah, there it was, the question.

"Alice and Jasper aren't the most subtle hinters, are they?" I groaned, opening my eyes to look at him, to take a measure of what he was thinking. He seemed serious; he wanted to know what was going through my mind.

"I was hoping to bring this up differently," I mumbled. "But, now or never."

He waited, facing me, searching my eyes for any clue as to what I was headed towards. My eyes wandered aimlessly, to either side of him into the forest, and then eventually wandering over his face to meet up with his eyes.

"I have my own body back," I said bluntly. He didn't get it. "And Alice is planning on planning our wedding, right?"

"Yes, she is," he agreed.

He was slowly putting the puzzle together, but he needed one more piece to solve it. I really wanted him to find that bit on his own, but it didn't look like he would. I was going to have to say it out loud. Crap.

"Our wedding night was stolen from us, and, I know it's silly now, but..."

He got it then. I was embarrased and feeling silly, and not at all confident, even though he had already promised me the answer to my little request long ago (eighteen years to be more precise). Why should I worry? If he wanted to wait he would say so, call me silly and something else nice and we'd move on. (I'd feel silly, but that's okay. Better silly than waiting for an answer.)

But, Edward always surprised me, and this was no exception.

His lips were hard, urgent, and passionate against mine, and I wasted no time pressing myself against him. I twined my fingers through his hair, and didn't have to stop to breathe when my lungs were empty. I wasn't sure how long we stood without breathing, but soon I missed the smell of him. I moved my lips away and inhaled his sweet scent. His lips moved away from mine unwillingly, and then found other parts of my exposed skin.

I couldn't get over how the soft brush of his skin wasn't icy anymore, or how I wasn't cold when he touched me. I liked that I could get closer to him, and that he didn't have to hold back anymore. He used more force on me, and, the harder he pushed me, the harder I pushed back. And so on, bringing us both to our knees, panting, and still moving ourselves closer.

His fingers brushed under the edge of my shirt, and he brought his eyes up to meet mine.

"May I?" he asked.

I realized then that we weren't just testing the limits of how long we could go without breathing or just kissing until we couldn't move anymore. I was a little tongue-tied. I hoped he didn't take that as uncertainty.

"Really? You...want to?" Dumb question, but I would never be certain about how someone so perfect could love someone so ordinary. Sure, I was a vampire now too, but I was only an _ordinary_ vampire.

"Bella, you are far too tempting for me to resist," he murmured, smiling at me, taking my breath from me again. "But, if you don't—"

"No, I want to, Edward. I want you, right now," I interrupted, taking his face in my hands and bringing him closer to me, so that I could kiss him once more.

And, this time, my fingers didn't shake as I unbuttoned his shirt. I didn't quiver once, although I was completely nervous. I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to do the sexy-Bella thing. I hadn't been very good at it when I had tried the first time, but Edward didn't seem to mind nervous, awkward, shy me, so that would have to do.

"I'm sorry if I'm not very good at this," I apologized. "I'm not too seductive, even as a vampire."

"Wrong," he murmured in my ear. "You have seduced me in every way. You are very tempting."

My lips curled into a gentle smile, which grew more pronounced when his softly kissed the corner of my lip again.

Edward carefully and cautiously slipped his fingers under the edge of my shirt, and I responded my helping him lift it over my head. I laid my hands on his bare chest, and stared patiently into his eyes, which smoldered at me intensely. I laid myself back against the forest floor (on a rather springy bit of moss).

"_Shall I explain how you are tempting me_?" _he said_, _clearly a rhetorical question_. _His fingers traced down my spine_, _his breath coming more quickly against my skin_. _My hands were limp on his chest_, _and I felt light-headed again_. _He tilted his head slowly and touched his cool lips to mine for the second time_, _very carefully_, _parting them slightly_.

* * *

**"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship—never." — Charles Caleb Colton.**

I don't know what I was expecting, seeking her out now when I knew she had probably seen enough of me to last her a lifetime — or, in her case, for all of forever. But I needed to see her. After her dying, so unexpectedly, and now being more or less alive, I had to see her face again. And, if I was lucky, maybe she would smile at me, so I could remember her that way.

I would have spoken to her sooner, but Leah was worrying over Jared. He finally came back, and that was my only chance to leave. I didn't want to leave Jared to face the wrath of his mother all alone, but I had to see Bella. Jared would survive, but I wasn't sure I would if I didn't find time to speak with her once more.

I was outside the Cullen house, and I was sure that two of them were inside. I didn't know which two, but I could hope—

I spotted three of them — Alice, Rosalie, and Esme — leaving the house in a red convertible, an M3. Rosalie was driving, chattering away, while Alice's eyes met mine, and then she began talking to the other two cheerfully. They were out of view within a second.

So, who was left? Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, Edward, and Bella. My odds were better if I assumed that the doctor was at the hospital. Emmett and Jasper seemed an unlikely pair to be just sitting there. The chances were that is was Edward and Bella.

I took a chance, slipped my clothes on, and sprinted to the front door. I knocked and waited.

Bella answered the door. "Jacob."

It was strange, seeing her so white and still. It was almost like seeing her dead, except I saw her chest move with an intake of breath.

I wondered what she saw, seeing me. Did she notice how much I had changed? That I was older now? Or did she see me; did she see the Jacob she had come to love? Would she still consider me her sun?

"Alice saw that you were coming, to talk to me," she said. Her voice was polite, controlled, as if she weren't a vampire and a single day hadn't passed since we had last spoken.

"You're not going to avoid me then?" I asked, doinng my best to smile, even when Edward appeared behind her.

"I'm going to talk to you," she said. She turned to Edward, and a warm smile lit her face. She kissed him gently, once, and then whispered something short to him. Her lips moved so quickly, it looked like they were vibrating. Finally, she turned to me, and the smile slipped away. She stepped forward, shot Edward one last look, and then closed the door behind her.

"Come on," she called, suddenly at the end of the Cullens long driveway. "Do you want to talk or not?"

"I do," I answered, jogging up to her. She started walking when I caught up to her, and I found that I had to speed up my walk to keep up with her.

"I figured we'd walk a ways away, to keep out those who would like to listen into our conversation," she told me, although she smiled over her shoulder, in his direction.

"Bella, you were dead," I whispered, barely able to speak the words aloud.

"No kidding?"

"I'm not kidding around here," I scowled, jumping in front of her, to stop her quick movement. "I nearly died when I found out."

"And then married Leah Clearwater," she sneered. "I can see how much pain you marital bliss was, Jacob."

"You're the one who told me to move on," I reminded her. "Not that I did on purpose. I imprinted on her, and she imprinted on me. It was a big surprise for both of us."

"You imprinted on each other." She puzzled over that statement for a second. "Normally, I would ask if that's even possible, but, clearly, it is. And, besides that, I've started to doubt that anything is impossible."

"Being the girl who rose from the dead does put a damper on the word impossible," I agreed.

"I thought you weren't joking around?" Her expression was hard. There was no budging her; she was intent on keeping this conversation short and bitter.

"Bells, I really missed you. Every day you were gone was a nightmare. Look, if it makes you feel any better, I'm sorry that I did fall for someone else."

"But you love her, don't you?" she asked. She was both sad and happy for me. Her eyes showed her sadness more than her tone did.

"And I don't have any choice in the matter," I added grimly.

"You make love sound like a bad thing," she laughed.

It was wonderful to hear her laugh, after so long without it. And her smile was there too, just hidden behind her sarcasm. There, just barely showing, was my Bella.

"Love? A bad thing? Never," I said. "Just take Edward for example. You die and he makes another innocent girl fall for him, only to have her life taken away later. Edward has his pick in love, doesn't he? He can steal anyone's heart, without even trying."

She scowled at me, and I immediately regretted saying anything.

"Don't. Mention. That. Again," she seethed. "Ever!"

"Why not? Because it's true?" Damn. Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut?

"Because, Jacob!"

"Because why? That's not a reason!"

"Crap, crap, crap," she chanted, brushing passed me and stomping off — slowly, for her.

"Bells?" I called. She ignored me and kept moving forward. "C'mon, Bells. Please, let me apologize." I swept forward and caught up to her quickly. I put my hand on her shoulder and she stopped. She closed her eyes and groaned.

"You have no idea how much that hurt, Jake," she snapped.

"I'm sorry." And I was. I hadn't meant to hurt her.

"Sorry doesn't work anymore!" She opened her eyes, and looked me in the eye with desperation and frustration. "You're married, remember? Stop trying to put Edward down and try to win me over."

"I'm not trying to win you, Bella," I said. I narrowed my eyes and inched closer to her. She didn't move away. "And I know what I have in my life and I am happy with it. I have a good life. I'm not about to give it up. But..."

"But what?" She glowered at me, but there was real curiousness in her eyes.

"I know this is awful, and maybe I'll regret saying this later, but, if I had a choice, I would want to be with you over having anything else I have right now."

She gawked at me. She was upset too.

"I don't have a chouce though," I continued. "I'm married, and I have a son. Leah wouldn't be able to hold herself together if she lost anyone else."

"Her dad?"

"And our second child. He was stillborn."

Her eyes widened and she gaped for a fraction of a second, and then she snapped her mouth shut and her eyes fell to the ground.

"Jacob...I...I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"Bella, I just want to part on good terms this time," I told her, keeping my voice calm and controlled, even with the range of emotion whirling through my head. "Last time didn't go so well, and I've regretted it for these past eighteen years."

"Oh."

The memory was coming back to her. I had asked her to run away with me, marry me, and she had sent me away after a long speech of how much she loved Edward and why he was perfect, especially in comparison with me.

"I regretted that too," she said quietly. "But not for eighteen years. I haven't been exactly alive all that time."

"That's fine," I assured her. "It's better this way. We both have our happily ever after, right? The end."

"I'll miss you, Jake," she whispered, her eyes meeting mine. "And I will always, _always_ love you."

"And I'll always love you more," I said, grinning softly. "And I'll love Leah even more than that, and you'll love Edward much more than me."

"I think you've grown up quite a bit, Jake," she laughed sadly. "What happened to the kid Jacob Black I knew?"

"We already determined that I was older than you a long time ago, remember?"

"Yeah, but now you have eighteen years added to your age. I'm eighteen years behind," she calculated. "So you're, what, thirty now? And I'm still eighteen."

"In all seriousness, right?"

"In all seriousness," Bella confirmed.

"Technically, I'm thirty-four," I replied.

"And technically, if you count the years I was...out of service...I'm thiry-six." Her eyes widened as she digested that bit of information. "Wow. I'm old already."

"Thirty isn't old," I scowled.

"You're only saying that because you would like to pretend you're young," she mocked jokingly.

"You caught me."

She smiled again, and I tried to copy her face into my mind perfectly, so I could take her image out again and again, like a perfectly framed picture of the perfect moment — a moment that would never occur again.

"So, what now?" she asked, her smile still in place. "Do we say goodbye?"

"Why? Do have somewhere to be?"

"No. I thought you would, or maybe you didn't have anything else to say."

"If I think of anything, I'll say it," I promised.

"And I'll listen," she assured me. "And I'll try and keep a cool head."

"Same here."

"So, you just want to continue small talk until we get to some awkward point, we laugh, and then we say goodbye?"

"Sure, sure," I laughed. "Why not? There's nothing on TV tonight, and I want to see you laugh one more time, before goodbye."

I paced the room once more. It was hard, being as close as I was, to not listen to what they were saying. But I had promised Bella that I wouldn't be eavesdropping. And I intended on keeping all my promises to her.

I couldn't think of a way to distract myself, so all I could do was pace quietly, and wait for her return.

But, fate handed me a distraction and there was a slight tap on the door.

"Knock, knock. Can I come in?"

I looked up, surprised at the sound of Stephanie's voice. Sure enough though, she was there. She had one hand on the door, and was halfway through the doorframe.

"You're already in," I pointed out.

"I suppose I am," she said, her eyes meeting mine.

We stood, entirely motionless, for a short while. I knew not why she was here, only that she had impecable timing. How odd a coincidence that the house was empty when she arrived? I wasn't sure who was to blame. Alice seemed the most likely bet, but she hadn't hidden anything from me, so how could this have slipped passed me? The only ones hiding their thoughts from me where Rosalie and Emmett, who were unlikely suspects.

"Am I welcome or are you going to kick me out?"

She was nervous, and, from what I could see from her posture, she was uncomfortable being here. Whatever was going through her mind, it had to be of great importance to her, for her to put herself in such discomfort to speak with me.

"You are always welcome here," I assured her.

She smiled slightly, and hesitantly came inside. She closed the door behind her, and came forward a few inches, keeping her hands behind her back. She didn't speak, but her eyes were filled with so many entrancing and complicated thoughts that I knew it was only a matter of time before the thoughts in her mind came out as words through her mouth.

Her lips parted, and then closed. She bit her lip and thought over whatever she had been intending on saying.

"Just out of curiosity, who planned this out so flawlessly? Was it Alice?" I questioned.

"Oh, no," she grinned slyly, "I'm not giving up my accomplices."

"So there are two?" I puzzled over the coincidence that Rosalie _and_ Emmett were hiding their thoughts from me. Since that number added to two...what were the chances that Rosalie and Emmett wanted me to talk to Stephanie? Or had Stephanie requested their help and they had agreed? But still, Rosalie...Why would she help Stephanie with something like this?

"I know you probably don't want to see me, but I had to see you, before I left," Stephanie started, her eyes never moving from my face. "I know you love Bella more than anything, anyone, or life itself, blah, blah, blah. I'm not here to object to that, and I'm sure I've made it clear that I want you and Bella to be very, _very_, happy — together." Her arms dropped to her sides, and her eyes darted to the floor. "But, Edward, I will always love you."

Of all the reasons to seek me out, to be alone with me, a confession was not a reason I had expected. I could barely hold my calm expression. I was hardly ready for what she was professing to me, but she needed me to respond. That was why she was here, to find out exactly what was going to happen to us, and to put an end to both of our charades. There was about to be a grand unmasking. It had started with her showing, the vibrant beauty behind the mask of tenacity. But what was she expecting to see in me? What answer was she seeking?

"If it isn't not too much to ask," she mumbled quietly, nervously, her eyes wavering between my face and the floor. "You wouldn't have anything to say to that, would you?"

"I have a great many things to say to that, but you won't like them all," I warned.

"Edward, if only to hear your voice, if only to know what you're thinking, I want to hear it. I would hear you recite the dictionary and you would still enchant me. You could cuss at me for ours and I would be enthralled. I'll just deal with whatever is it I don't like, okay?"

Her eyes blazed at me, covered over with the mask again. Her voice was frail though, giving her true emotions away freeley. Her fingers were meshed together in a firm, nervous grasp. Her eyesbrows pulled together as she waited for me to speak; her breath caught in her throat when I looked up to meet her gaze.

"You're right," she said. "I don't want to hear it. I want you to listen to me now." She paused, and all energy drained from her eyes. "Will you hear me out?"

I nodded my head once, sharply. I could tell this wasn't going to go well for either of us.

"I dreamed of you every night for these past two years," she whispered, with her voice gaining conviction as she continued. "I was totally lost when Issie died. And then, there was you. You were in all my thoughts, in all my hopes, and all my daydreams too. I know it was stupid, but I started to believe that I could spend the rest of my life with you. I wouldn't have cared if you never kissed me, if you never told me you felt anything for me, as long as you would talk to me and love me, even if only as the Bella-look-a-like."

She brought her folded hands to her lips and closed her eyes. She seemed more herself than she ever had. She wasn't a Bella-look-a-like at all. Whatever small traces there were paled in comparison to how clear and demanding Stephanie's own features were. Stephanie was no longer in captive by Bella's soul; and she was more strong, more beautiful like that. She was raw, and afraid, but all the more powerful and enchanting for it. Jared was lucky he had a chance at her.

"I don't think I'll get over you," she continued, opening her eyes, but staring dead-ahead, and her face remained expressionless. "If stopping my heart didn't do the trick, nothing will. If I had a choice, I don't know what I would do. Would I choose to get over you? I don't think it would be that simple. I think that, when you're in love, sometimes not even the burn can ruin the memory, and the feeling. Right now, I can't remember much about the feeling, but I do remember you promising to love me. And I'm trying to ignore the promise you made about not leaving me for Bella, 'if' she came again. That's the hard one though."

She laughed coldly, shaking her head. "How could you promise something like that? We both knew that was a promise you would never keep! I wouldn't have cared if you hadn't made the promise, and it would hurt a lot less. I mean, did you mean anything you said? Or were you just saying whatever you would have said to Bella?"

"You're right, I was cruel to you and I can't expect you to forgive me," I agreed. "But, sometimes, people say crazy things when they're in love. I forgot for an instant — for one short instant I forgot — and the pain I had felt for so long was gone, and I would have promised you anything, all because being with you was the only thing I could do to feel something again, and to feel without pain."

Her hands dropped and her eyes met mine, searching for some hint that I was lying to her; I wasn't.

"I did love you, and maybe I still do — but not the way I love Bella," I added forcefully. "I love Bella with every part of me, and will for all my existence."

"How do you love me?" she demanded. "A friend? A distant cousin? A pet? Or do you pity me?"

"I don't pity you," I said. I stepped forward quickly and put my hands on her shoulders. "No one could pity you, Stephanie. You have such strength. I hadn't noticed before, how truly strong you were. I am eternally sorry that I hurt you. You deserve so much more than what was forced upon you."

"Sweet, Edward," she said, a smile creeping onto her lips. "But that didn't answer my question."

I sighed and stepped backward. "A sister," I answered.

"What a coincidence," she smirked. "Because apparently there's an opening in your family and I wanted to ask you what you thought of that...?"

I was surprised; who was it that had arranged Steph's little meeting, and had invited her into the family in one short meeting? Whoever they were, I applauded their attempt at peace-making, but it was a lot to try and arrange.

"Whatever is best for you," I told her.

"But what about you? Would it hurt you? To have me around?"

"Not at all," I assured her.

I had thought that was the answer she had wanted, but her expression froze in place, and slowly her smirk slipped into a sad attempt at a smile.

"A little," I admitted.

A soft smile touched her eyes, and that, clearly, was what she was wanting to hear; she had wanted to hear that I still cared for her.

"I'm not lying when I say I care about you, and I want you to trust that I'm not just saying that I love you," I said, smiling gently at her. "But please understand that Bella is my only love, and it will be that way from now on. That will never change, under any circumstances."

"Then you won't mind if my heart picks a new sun to live by?" she hinted.

"I hope Jared makes you happy."

She laughed, closed her eyes once more, and her head drooped doward, her hair sliding downward, hiding her face.

"I wish I could say the same thing, but I am one-hundred percent sure that Bella is the only one in this world or any world that could make you happy. And she will. I don't doubt that." She snapped her head up, and her eyes, wide and sad, were completely full of light and hope. "You'll make Bella happy too."

She sighed, still smiling, and rolled her eyes. "Maybe I'll get lucky too. I might end up with something I once hoped to have. Or is that too greedy?"

"Steph, I have loved you, and I know someone like you will find everything you hoped for."

I brushed my fingers down her cheek, and finally pulledf her chin forward as I leaned forward and lightly pecked her cheek.

"Thank you," she breathed.

"I'm pretty sure I love Jared," she added sheepishly. "So, I guess we both can live and love, right? No blood, no foul."

She smiled shyly, and then stepped backwards toward the door.

"Nothing else to say?" I asked.

"No, I'd just mess up our goodbye," she snickered. "And that would be bad."

I noticed that her want to leave was too sudden. Her face wasn't quite relaxed. I had seen that particular expression many times, and I knew there was something wrong. If vampires were capable of crying, she would have been.

"Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help?" I offered. But she jumped away from me when I stepped forward. "Ah. So it's something I've done."

"It is really all my fault," she whispered. "I haven't had a chance to figure out this weird power of sifting through memories."

I froze. Had she somehow seen...?

"Renee used to shut up all pictures of Bella, because she didn't like to think about losing her," she began, her eyes wandering as she turned toward the door. "But, one year, when Is and I—" She paused, and shook her head once. "When I was young, Renee brought out pictures of Bella. I remember thinking how pretty she was, and being a little jealous. I'm more jealous now than ever...but that's for a different reason now." She shot me a look, and our eyes met for a fraction of a second. She looked away, and her hand twisted the door knob and opened the door just a crack.

"In your mind, Edward, Bella is beautiful, even more than how I see her," she continued. "It is kind of weird. She looks exactly the same, just pretty Bella Swan in her not-so-ordinary life. But, in your mind, something just seems to click. In your memories, I can really see that I never had a chance. It is a little upsetting, knowing how hopeless my case was. Overall though, I think what hurts isn't that you love her more than me, it's the way you look at her. I wish you would have looked at me like that, just once."

She grinned at me and shrugged. "But, hey, whatever. You win some, you lose some. I don't believe the winner takes every thing. I believe losers like me always get a consolation prize." She opened the door and stepped through the doorframe. "Jared may be first prize material, but I was competing for someone else entirely this whole time. It's a shock that I somehow won him over."

I couldn't keep up with her changing moods. One second she was upset, the next she was happy again. A multiple personality disorder from having Bella in her perhaps?

"I suggest you don't tell Bella that I saw...in your memory...," she said sullenly. "That I saw you 'sleep' with her, okay? Good. Don't answer me. Less awkward that way."

She turned, shut the door, and I was left with my mouth open wondering what exactly she had seen. How did 'seeing' memories work?

"And, Edward?"

I looked up, and, somehow, without me hearing her approach, she was face to face with me. She pecked my lips once, and then, at the doorway again, she winked at me.

"If you're not in Forks in four years, I'll come find you," she warned. "I'm thinking Stephanie Hale. But...who knows? Time changes people."

She was gone, and I looked to see Bella opening the door, a soft, but sad smile on her lips.

"I think that was a better goodbye this time," she said confidently. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"How did Jacob take your goodbye?" I asked, keeping my tone pleasant.

"Well, I think." Her facre contorted, and she pouted for a second. "At one point he said he would run away with me if he could, which was a tricky part. But he loves his life now. I'm happy for him."

"And how do you feel about your life?" I prompted.

"Couldn't live without it," she smirked. "But, being serious here, I wouldn't have it anyh other way. Although, I may have skipped the dead-for-eighteen-years part."

My face turned hard; the mention of her death was still a sensative topic. "So would I."

"I hope you didn't just stand here the whole time waiting for me," Bella scowled playfully.

"I didn't. Stephanie stopped by."

Her eyes widened in surprise. Her eyebrows came together as she puzzled over Stephanie's appearance. "Why? I thought she was planning on leaving?"

"She wanted to say goodbye," I explained. "And she wanted to warn me that some mysterious someone had extended her an unconditional invitation to join our family. Steph is considering taking on the last name Hale."

"I guess that's okay," Bella murmured.

"You don't want her to join us?"

"No, not that! I just prefer the name Cullen myself," she corrected.

"I'm happy to hear that, because you'll be Mrs. Cullen soon enough," I reminded her. "Rosalie, Alice and Esme are already out planning."

"They don't waste time do they?" she laughed. "But I think they forget the 'Welcome Back, You're Alive, Bella' party. That's the one I'm looking forward to."

"I'll tell them the moment they return that you want your welcoming party," I promised.

"Actually, I was thinking that you and I could have a private party, while they are all out..planning, and where are Emmett and Jasper at?"

"Hunting, and something else I didn't catch. But, Bella, two people is hardly a party."

"It's my party, right? I get decide when it is to be considered a party or not, don't I?"

"It's a party then."

* * *

**Okay. I have decided that the next chapter is the last. It will be a flash forward, four years later (or maybe more?). I hope this chapter was okay! REVIEW!**

**And those of you who have an opinion, go ahead and suggest whether or not Hale or Cullen sounds better, or if you think Stephanie sould join the Cullen-Hale team at all.**

**Finally, one reviewer suggested me continuing with a continuation of this story. If you would like that, please, tell me in a review! Thank you! PEACE!**

**Also, I apologize for the lack of spell-check. I can't even begin to explain the reason behind that.**

**PS Kiddos, this chapter is called "Shimmy, Shimmy, Quarter Turn" after the song by Hellogoodbye.**


	22. Chapter 22: Return

"**Right and wrong have ceased to mean much to me. I was coming back anyway. Before Rosalie told me the news, I was already past trying to live through one week at a time, or even one day. I was fighting to make it through one single hour. It was only a matter of time—and not much of it—before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that." — Edward, from **_**New Moon**_**, page 514.**

* * *

**Chapter 22: Return**

"Hon, I really don't like this."

"Sorry, Mom, but this is how it has to be."

"You're forcing me to lose another daughter."

I rolled my eyes. "Mom, I'm moving out and I already promised you I would call," I reminded as gently as I could (although I was in a rush because I had planned to leave at four in the morning and it was now six fifty-three). "It's not like we won't see each other again."

I almost choked on the last sentence; I still wasn't good at lying. It was strange, and so difficult, knowing that I would never see my parents again. I looked from Renee, grave faced and worrying, to Phil, standing with his hand on her shoulder, lending her his strength, and wished more than anything I could tell them the truth. I couldn't though. I had to lie a little longer for them, to protect them, and then I would be on the road, never to see their faces again.

"Please, Stephie, tell me where you're going," Renee begged. "To Forks?"

"No, Mom," I lied. "I haven't been there for five years; I'm not going back now."

"But you'll be stopping by there," Phil said simply, easily seeing passed the lie. "So, send our love to Isabella."

"For Isabella," Renee agreed.

"I already have an idea where to get a lovely ruffled tulip from," I smirked. How could they read me so well? Ah, parents. I guess they had me figured out after living with them for...well, all my life. (Except of course for that short stretch of time in which I had dated a vampire, heard my late sister's voice, accidentally made a werewolf imprint on me, brought my half-sister back to life and became a vampire myself.)

"Drive safe," Phil said.

"And, I think you'll need this." She revealed what she had been holding behind her back. I laughed; it was an umbrella. "Chances are it will rain."

"It always rains in Forks," I laughed. "Thanks, Mom."

I took the black umbrella and threw it in the passenger seat of my black Porche. My parents, thankfully, hadn't noticed that I was travelling extremely lightly. (I didn't need things like toothbrushes and hairbrushes anymore, but I brought those things along out of habit. But I brought two changes of clothes. That was it.)

"Oh, and that nice director called again," Renee suddenly recalled. "He really liked your score...or something like that."

"Good, I was hoping he would say that." After all, when one writes musical scores for movies, one does appreciate a good compliment now and then.

"And I can't get over how wonderful your voice sounded in that horror movie! I hardly recognized you! _You_, my own daughter! You were beautiful," Renee raved.

"Mom," I mumbled. "I wasn't even _in_ the movie. Just a small bit of singing alongside my score."

"But only you could make that Dakota Fanning look good swinging that clever around," Phil said sweetly. "It wouldn't have been the same without your genius. The film industry is going to miss you."

"And I'll miss it, but I rather do some travelling than sit around composing all day long," I argued. "I went to school, I did the job thing, so now I want to stop wasting my youth!"

Not that that was possible; I had an eternity of youth ahead of me. The only problem was, I was one year late for a very important engagement.

"Is Catlin still in Forks? Will you see her when you stop by?" Phil questioned.

"No, after the wedding, Cat and her husband moved to Kansas, to the windy city," I informed them. "There's no one there."

"God, that reminds me, if you really are going to Forks, please visit Charlie's grave," Renee requested. Her eyes started getting teary, and Phil began rubbing comforting circles into her shoulders. "It would mean a lot to me. I know you didn't know him, but, you weren't there for the funeral because you were out of town when we found out. You need to go someday though. Sooner rather than later, okay, honey?"

"I'll go," I promised.

Charlie had died of a heart attack, just like Harry Clearwater, one week ago. I could only imagine how Bella was taking it.

"Goodbye, Stephanie," Phil said softly, reaching in for a hug. I didn't even have to remind myself to watch my strength, living with such fragile humans allowed me to gain control of my new self easily.

"Bye, sweetie," Renee whispered, as she stole me in her arms, hugging me as if she could sense that this was our last goodbye.

"I love you both, so much. I'll miss you." Every day for the rest of forever.

"Call once you have a permanent place," Phil ordered. "Don't worry your mother."

"I won't. I promise." I walked around to the driver's side, turned the key into the ignition, and then waved and blew kisses as I drove away.

Some people might think I was crazy to drive from Jacksonville to Forks, but I liked the idea of the speed increasing by the shift of my foot, the wind in my hair with the windows wide open, and the sound of music blaring as I drove home.

I listened to old music. I was into the latest beats and tunes, but the oldies were always better. Tango Shoes, Touchdown Turnaround, Escape, and Fer Shure were played frequently. Britney Spears' songs from the many years she had some hits, some of Jewel's hits, some of Eiffel 65, some Aqua, some Within Temptation, Breaking Benjamin, and whatever I could dig up of Enrique Iglesias. Finally, after a round of Michael Jackson songs, I drove into Forks singing along to Savage Garden's Cherry Cola.

I drove incredibly slowly into Forks, throwing my head in all directions, not really sure what I was looking for. I drove by the old house once, but that wasn't the prize of my search. I gave up looking though, and, with great frustration, went to the Forks Cemetery.

I smelled the brisk morning air. It was very early in Forks, and the sun was just rising. I heard something move behind me, and smiled to myself, waiting for my pot of gold to appear. The rainbow came first though, and I turned around to see Jared staring back at me.

"Long time no see," I greeted pleasantly, showing off my pearly whites with an especially large grin.

Jared didn't answer me. I saw something like relief in his eyes, but that quickly turned to anger, confusion and frustration. My smile didn't waver; I had plenty of training in the false-smile department, I wasn't going to let it slide now; I wasn't about to frown when I was facing a rainbow. That would be far too pessimistic for my taste.

"Are you going to ignore me?" I asked sweetly. "After the way you said goodbye to me, I was expecting a nicer welcome wagon."

Again, no answer. Was he deaf? I thought werewolves were supposed to have good hearing? Or was that only in their wolfish form?

"You didn't come back," he accused, startling me with his sudden speech.

My smile faltered only slightly. He had hit a nerve. I had felt guilty about that, but I hadn't found an opportunity to come back. I barely got away from Renee, Phil, and my guilt as it was.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I was a jerk for doing that." I paused and looked him over once. How was it possible that he had gotten bigger and taller? Hopefully, that had all stopped, because I wasn't a giant myself, and I didn't like people talking down to me—especially _literally_ talking down to me.

"Why didn't you come?"

I didn't answer. I didn't break my stare, and he didn't look away. I had no answer to his question.

It was eerie, seeing him so still. I could tell that, even beneath the calmness he so perfectly radiated, there was rage. He was still because he was trying to keep himself under control.

"Do you regret waiting for me now?" I questioned with a tight voice, barely able to keep the bite out of it. I knew I had no right to be angry, but I couldn't help but feel hurt that the one I loved was staring at me so coldly.

"I told you before you left, the only thing I was going to regret was not keeping you here longer," he reminded me harshly. "Why did you break your promise? Did you meet someone else? Or do you not care at all? Did it matter to you that I was waiting?"

Each question penetrated my protective shield. I felt every blow, and I wondered again why I had chosen to come back here. I hadn't even faced Edward yet and I was in pain. I knew I deserved the load of guilt Jared was placing on me, but I wished I didn't deserve it. I wanted to be load-free. Now, I had a lot more baggage than I had bargained for. (Good thing I had packed light.)

"Do you hate me or do you love me, Jared?" I laughed, feeling my heart-strings snap from strain. "I wouldn't have come back at all if I had thought you hated me, but I've been wrong before. If you've changed your mind, I would like to leave with as little pain inflicted on either of us as possible."

His expression loosened, and I heard him sigh heavily. "I love you, Stephanie," he assured me. "But that doesn't mean I'm any less angry with you."

"Oh, good. I was hoping to hear that." I was a little heavy on the sarcasm, but I got my message across.

His long stride quickly closed the distance between us, and he came close enough that I had to take a step back to see his face. He was at least a head and a half taller than me. How had that growth spurt happen?

"God, you're tall," I muttered under my breath. (I like to pretend he hadn't heard.)

"Stephanie, I love you," he repeated, softer this time. "I'm a little tired of waiting though. Would it have been so hard to come see me?"

I sighed heavily, just as he had done. "Believe it or not, yes," I grumbled. "I needed money, to be honest, and I made most of what I have in this past year."

"I could have helped you out," Jared offered. "I'm a certified mechanic. I have a bit of money saved up."

"You took after your father," I said absent-mindedly.

"It was either that or cook like my mother," he grinned. "And since I like blackened food as much as the average person, I picked mechanics."

"Wise choice."

It was weird, seeing the bits of Jacob in Jared's face. Even weirder was the fact that I was the vampire-girl admiring the looks of a werewolf. The world was a messed up place, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Well, I think now that I've found you I'll leave flowers and love to the graves later," I announced, doing my best to sound cheery, considering I was in a cemetery. "Are you free today?"

"I'm free," he said. "I was just about to..." He cut short and shook his head. "Never mind. It's not important anymore."

"What were you about to do?" I asked.

"It's not important anymore," he repeated.

"No, please, tell me," I insisted. "What were you about to do? Can I help at all?"

He smirked, and his eyes shot down. I thought maybe it was something embarrasing—until he looked up at me, and I could see the strain and frustration return to his dark eyes.

"I was coming after you," he said sternly. "I warned you I would."

"Oh."

"I thought about coming after you for a long time, and today—"

"I'm sorry, Jared. I wanted to come back to you in the time I promised," I interrupted. "But why would you come after me? Are you crazy? What would your parents think? Your friends? And, if you weren't thinking about yourself, what about me? Was I supposed to explain to my neighbours that the giant bear-dog that ran up the street that day was my pet scruffy who had a horrible mutation that made him grow that big? I don't think so."

His eyes widened. His lips twitched, he tried to hold back a smile and he failed miserably. And then he laughed. He laughed loudly, and the frustration and worry left his eyes.

"I missed you," Jared said. He touched my shoulder, and I took his hand so fast that I probably startled him.

"I missed you too."

"Are you going to stay this time?" he asked, with a glint of hope in his eyes.

I paused; how was I to break this to him? The hope left his eyes as my pause made its mark. He got what I was afraid to tell him.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"I'm going to find the Cullens," I told him. "And I am going to go wherever they go."

"Right." He inhaled and glanced away, looking embarrassed and (again) frustrated. "You know that Edward is in love with your look-a-like. If you're trying to chase after him again—"

"No, it isn't for him," I swore. "This is for me. I made them my family. I don't know if you can understand this, but, I was connected to them since I was born, all because of Isabella Swan. And I have to be with them; they're part of me. I want it to be this way too. So, wherever they go, I go. From now on."

"All of them? Not just Edward?"

"Not just Edward. All of them," I confirmed.

He squeezed my hand and leaned down to me, still not smiling.

"Do you have to keep torturing me?" he asked.

"I'm not torturing you on purpose. I happen to really hate hurting you. I love you, Jared. I realized that when you kissed me and that's never going to change. Not now, not ever. So never doubt that I want to come back to you."

"Then why not stay with me?" H insisted, drawing me closer to him, with his hand on my waist. "You can spend forever with the Cullens. I have a lifespan to worry about."

"I think it's better if you don't waste your life on me," I explained, trying to ignore the feeling of warmth radiating of him, as if I was standing next to a thousand suns. "I wanted to come back to let you know that I do love you, and that I will always think of you. But you need to get a life, kid."

"You are my life," he argued. His hand slipped from mine and he began tracing soft patterns over my cheek and lips. "Why can't you understand that?"

"You have family and friends and your pack, right? There's more than just me." It was hard to get out a complete thought when I felt a sudden urge to stop all talking and just look at him.

"I do," he agreed. "And you have your own pack, don't you? But I want to work around that. The Cullens gave you an open invitation right? You can come whenever. Why not after I'm gone?"

"Don't talk about that." I glowered at him and almost lost control of my strength—nearly crushing his hand in the process. He noticed my increased grip though, and that gave me enough of a hint to let go of him.

I stepped back and struggled between running off and staying right where I was. Neither of the options was perfect.

"Five years gave me enough time to plan it all out," he said, not making a move to approach me. "You can stay here, with me, until I die. Then you can join the Cullens. You'll be happy with them. This way we're both happy, right?"

"No." I shook my head furiously. "I'm not going to stick around to watch you die, Jared!"

"I didn't mean that. I meant just stick around for longer," he corrected. "If it bothers you so much, you can leave once I'm too old to attract you anymore. Is that good enough for you?"

"No, Jared." I closed my eyes and tried to escape the image of Is in her casket; I tried to shake the image of Jared in her place. "You should get married, have a life, and...do whatever you want to do with your life."

"I want to be with you. That's it."

I opened my eyes and glared at him. Could he be so stupid? I wasn't going to watch him get old and die. I wasn't going to stick around and ruin his life. Maybe I could stay if I was human, but I couldn't now. I wanted to stay just long enough to explain how I felt. But, other than that, I could only dream of being with him. (And by dream, I meant daydreams, because sleep-dreams were impossible for me now.)

I had thought over it constantly during the past five years. It was impossible for us. I didn't want to see him die, and I wanted to see him have a life. Jared deserved so much more than what I could give him. If I truly loved him, I had to leave.

Shock ran through my system. I couldn't believe my own thoughts. Leave him? What good would that do? I had seen second hand what that could do to two people. Edward had left Bella for her own good, and I had experienced the pain through her memories. And I knew the guilt that Edward felt everyday for leaving her. Did I want to go through that pain? That guilt.

Yes, yes I did. I would go through any pain to make Jared happy.

It wasn't normal to be so in love with someone after being away from them for so long, but a) I was hardly normal, b) absence makes the heart grow fonder. But, despite how much I longed to tell him that I wanted to stay again, I knew that Edward had the right idea. Bella had fallen for Jacob after all, right? I could get lucky. Was there someone else for Jared that I was keeping him from? I had a feeling there wasn't, and that was making my options more unclear.

"Jared, I don't know if you've noticed yet, but I'm a vampire," I reminded him. "I am going to live forever. You, on the other hand, don't have forever. I can't make you happy. You should start a life."

"No," he growled. Again, he closed the distance between us. He pulled my close with one hand on my shoulder and another on the back of my neck. "Do I have to repeat everything? Your the only life I want. Your all I need out of this world, Stephanie. If you leave...do you really think I have a chance at a life?"

"Yes," I lied. My defences were weakening. I was going to give in, wasn't I? God, I was selfish.

"Liar," he accused, sensing his easy victory.

"You've changed," I noted.

"Five years, Steph," he reminded me. "I let you go last time. I'm not about to let that happen again."

"Crap," I sighed. "I really want to kiss you. Thanks a lot, Jared."

He grinned. "You're welcome."

And, with little resistance from him, I gently pulled his lips to my level and pressed myself into a passionate kiss. I didn't think much about the fact we were in a graveyard; I mostly thought about how good it felt to have his fingers gently twined into my hair. And Jared was a good kisser. (He was no Edward, but Jared still had time to learn., and I would be glad to be his practice dummy.)

I released him and he panted heavily. I was just slightly breathless, but not enough for him to notice. "Are you staying?" he asked again in his breathless, husky voice.

"Yes, but I'm still going to look for the Cullens," I warned.

"They're here," he said. "They haven't left since Charlie Swan's funeral."

"Oh." Well, that made the search easier for me.

"But you're not leaving with them," he insisted.

"...No," I grumbled. This was unfair to me. Jared had totally ruined my plan! Now how was I going to explain to Rosalie that I appreciated her invite but I had to make-out with my werewolf sweetheart until he died?

And that was a whole other issue. How was I going to deal with Jared being gone one day?

"Jared. I'm warning you now that I can't see you die."

"I'll find you a blindfold then." He was joking, but there was no humor in his voice.

"I swear, the first time I see you with a cold I am going to bite you," I growled.

"I'm not into the whole love-bite thing," he admitted.

"Think about kinky later, Jared. I was talking about figuring out a way to keep you alive."

"It's just a cold, Steph. I'm not going to die from a cold."

"Oh, really? What if its pnemonia?" I questioned with narrowed eyes.

"I'm going to leave you in good hands, Stephanie. I promise. You want to go off with the Cullens anyway."

I grabbed his face (gently) and gawked at him, finding no words to express how angry I was that he was so willing to die!

"How can you be so calm?" I finally spat out. "I was gone for five years, try to imagine forever."

He winced slightly. "You'll get over me by then."

I laughed. He was an idiot! Didn't he understand yet that my heart had made its decision already? It was _never_going to let him go. Even forever wouldn't be enough time. Forever I was going to love him. I knew that because I had known true love. I had seen it, and now I was truly experiencing it. I couldn't get over true love. Not even death would remove him from my unbeating heart. He was a complete dumb ass to think otherwise.

"What I feel for you now is stronger than any old imprint," I told him. "I am not going to watch you die."

"Relax, Stephanie. I'm not planning on dying tomorrow." He smiled at me, although it didn't quite touch his eyes. Maybe my words were finally sinking in.

"Fine, but I intend to think on this," I warned. "I might just bring it up the day after tomorrow, just in case you're secretly planning on dying then."

"Bring it up in ten years, okay? Maybe I'll listen then," he suggested with a shrug. "No promises though."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. Things were way too complicated when one was a vampire.

* * *

"Doesn't that girl with Jared look familiar?"

"Yeah, yeah. I've seen her before."

"Tyler, honey, doesn't she look a lot like...?"

"Bella. Yes, she does. And like that other one, the half-sister."

"Huh. I thought so."

The words alerted me to exactly what I had hoped for. Finally, some good news. I had been waiting to hear some good news. I was sick of thinking about Charlie. I hated that my heart could still ache so much when it wasn't beating.

But, if what they were saying was right, Stephanie was going to show up soon. Obviously she had gone to see Jared first. Maybe the graveyard too. (Had she gone to see Charlie too?) I was excited to see her after so long apart. Plus, I couldn't wait to have her join us.

I had been reluctant at first, since she had stolen Edward's heart while I was gone, but now I couldn't wait. Rosalie would be excited too. After she had confessed that it had been her brilliant idea, and how she wanted to trust Stephanie, and how she was sorry she hadn't trusted me as quickly as she should have, Rosalie had been pestering Alice about when Stephanie was planning on coming. Alice kept the same date for four years, and then she changed it so suddenly. There was no clear vision as to what Stephanie was planning after that. Alice had very recently seen that Stephanie was coming, but she couldn't tell when.

"Excuse me, Miss? Are you sure you want only the—"

"I'm sure I only want the one picture frame, Tyler," I replied. "Have a good day."

I smiled. It was strange to believe that all it took was shades and a hat to fool Tyler. I suppose being considered dead did help with the disguise.

I left, still smiling, enjoying how stumped he looked. He was probably wondering how I knew his name when I was 'new' to Forks. A whole forty-one years new to Forks. (God, was I really forty-one? That made Edward one hundred twenty-one years old...And I couldn't even begin to add up Carlisle's age.)

I went quickly to the silver Volvo waiting outside the store. I saw Tyler's jaw drop from the window, and joined in with Edward's chuckling as I got into the passanger side.

"I have to say that I like stunning Tyler," I admitted. "I say we find Mike and Jessica next. Or maybe Lauren. I would love to freak her out."

Edward grinned crookedly at me, momentarily stunning me. "I don't think that's such a wise idea, Bella."

I shrugged. I saw no harm in bothering people from my past life as Bella Swan.

"Stephanie is back," I announced. Edward rev-ed the engine and then took off down the road. "You can drive a little faster, Edward. There's no one outside at this hour. No small children running around in the street."

"And the traffic laws?" he asked.

I deliberated. "You're right. In Charlie's memory we should obey the Forks traffic safety laws."

He raised one eyebrow and looked at me, trying to decipher what I was thinking. (When was he going to stop hoping that he would suddenly start reading my mind?) "Only in Forks, Bella?" he asked.

"Only in Forks," I confirmed. I took the picture of Charlie off the dash, unpacked the picture frame, and then slipped the picture inside. "There."

"So Stephanie is back," Edward said calmly. "I wonder when she plans on stopping by."

"Who knows. Soon, I think."

Edward reached over to brush my cheek. "You're not bothered by this?"

I turned to him, smiling softly. I placed my hand over his, still of my cheek. "Not at all," I assured him. "Why would it?"

He shrugged. Was this going to bother him?

"I think this was fate." I ignored Edward's surprised expression and focused on how his fingers twined perfectly with mine. "I was supposed to die. Stephanie was supposed to meet you. You were supposed to love her, so I could understand how much my being with Jacob had hurt you."

"Bella—"

"I think Stephanie was supposed to become part of our family too," I finished, ignoring his protests. "And I like how this all turned out. I wish I hadn't seen Renee so teary at Charlie's funeral, and I wish he hadn't died...so early...but death is part of life, right?"

Edward parked the Volvo, and then he reached and gently kissed my lips. "Can you forgive me for being so selfish? For putting you through this?"

"Edward, I wanted to be a vampire, remember? I chose this long before he were forced to do it to bring me back to life." I paused, taking his face in my hands and smiling again. (I was all smiles these days, wasn't I? Strange. Shouldn't I be mopey and expressing how sad I was for losing my father? But grief effects people in different ways.)

"I know," he said grudgingly. He seemed to prefer blaming himself than letting the blame go to me.

"So, let's get ready to greet Stephanie, okay? No more guilt trips. Ever. Promise?" I waited, but he didn't answer. "Fine. Promise that there will be none today then?"

"I swear not to guilt myself today," he promised.

"That's enough. For now."

He chuckled lightly, and then opened the car door and climbed out, and I did the same. He was still faster than me, so he closed the door for me, and was on my side by the times I was out. (I think he liked showing off that he was still faster than me.)

He looked off, behind me, suddenly. "You were right. And that didn't take long at all."

I became aware of someone approaching behind me. I turned around and there was Stephanie, smiling nervously at us.

"Hello," I greeted.

"Hi, Bella," he responded. Her eyes flickered to Edward. "Hi, Edward."

"Its nice to see you again, Stephanie," Edward said pleasantly. "Are you going to stay long this time?"

Her lips twitched into a genuine smile. "Jared guilted me into staying in Forks," she answered. "I have to be where he is."

"Did he?" I laughed. "Good for him."

"Would you like to come inside?" Edward offered. "Everyone is inside, and I'm sure Alice has already anticipated your arrival."

"No doubt," she agreed. "Sure. I'll come in."

* * *

FINALLY. The door opened and I sprang forward. "I knew you were coming today!" I cheered, throwing my arms around Stephanie. "It was hard keeping it a secret. I wanted to surprise everyone."

"Oh," Stephanie said laughingly, staggered by my quick hug and release. "Your surpise seems to have worked. Good for you, Alice."

"And now you're here to stay!" I announced. "I'm so happy!" And I was. I had felt so much guilt for taking Stephanie's normal life away from her. But she was happy now, and she would continue to be for as long as I could see (so far).

"Actually, I promised Jared I would stay with him," Stephanie corrected. "And I'm sure you'll be leaving at some point. I can't break another promise to him."

"You won't," I assured her. "And we'll be staying here for a bit anyways, until then and even after then, you'll be part of our family."

"But when you leave, I'll have to stay," she explained, not understanding me yet.

"Jared will be coming with us then," I said. I could still remember my vision of two new additions to our family. One was Stephanie, of course. I could barely hold it all in. Already Edward was raising on eyebrow and looking at me with such confusion.

_Yep_, _that's my vision_, I told him. _And it isn't changing_.

The future was set in stone as far as I was concerned. Stephanie was about to join us; Bella was close to recovering from mourning Charlie, as we all were, slowly; and Jared would join us too. Our family was getting very big. We'd have to start out own Volturi if it continued to grow.

"Have you decided?" Rosalie asked. Stephanie and Rosalie grinned at each other for a while, as if they could read each other's minds. When had they gotten to close? I was stumped. It was possible that the missing part of my vision that day when Bella had said goobye to Jacob that Rosalie and Stephanie had done more than just planned out how Stephanie would say goodbye to Edward. But I was glad knowing that Rosalie and Stephanie were going to get along swimmingly.

"Definitely, Stephanie Hale," Stephanie announced. "If that's alright...?"

"Absolutely," Esme grinned. "We're happy to have you as a part of our family. And Hale works perfectly for you."

"Thank you," Stephanie said, looking extremely thankful.

I couldn't wait. This was going to be a very interesting forever. With all the adventures we'd had so far...I wondered, what comes next?

* * *

**THE END. That's it! The last chapter! Short? Sorry, if you think so. If there's any loose ends, let me know. I would be happy to explain! Thanks so much for coming this far with me! And for your wonderful reviews! Review if you want to. (I would like you to, but, really, it **_**is**_** your choice.) Again, THANK YOU!!**


End file.
